Maybe as a reaction to last week’s excursion into a strange, new and unfamiliar world, this week I wanted to wear something that had a more historic feel and find a building that has some vestiges of its age. All week I experienced a lingering melancholy. Sometimes lately I just fill up with anger about everything that is happening in the world. I am also feeling a little angry with myself because at least on my Instagram I am starting to lose some of my “realness’. I can slip into comparisons, focus on likes and this drains every ounce of creativity from my bones making me feel dark and unhappy. The problem comes from this dilemma: I want to disengage but in order to move my project forward, I need to engage. As always, I express what I feel in my clothing choices, for me a therapeutic act.
In this photo, my wool straight leg pants are from Helmut Lang (before he reinvented himself as an artist and left fashion design) and provided inspiration as to how creativity can move one forward into doing what one really wants to do in life. The jacket by Jean Paul Gaultier is oversized and androgynous making me feel powerful and strong. The hat is Yohji Yamamoto and is actually a “half hat”, reminding me I can see the glass as half empty or half full. The shirt is from a pair of silk pajamas given to me by an emerging designer I did a favor for the first year I started blogging and prompts me to remember to be kind. The holster allows me to not be encumbered by a bag and fills my need for self-protection as well as promotes the idea of letting go of unnecessary baggage. The shoes are filled with stars which makes me recall that there is always some beauty within the darkness.
And as usually happens by using the language of clothes to express whats filling me up, space opens up for something new to come into being. Meeting two days after this photo was taken, my intern, soon to be a partner and I dreamed up a new project and all of a sudden I felt like wearing color again. It’s a return to all the best things about my roots yet it is our creative response to current challenges. In line with the season, it is a return to another new beginning and clothes and collaboration are what took me there.
Do you ever use clothing as language?
Sometimes cover. Sometimes camo. Sometimes statement.
Yes, I do?
Clothes can always create a new definition of my mood…love to change up and become a new extension of my self…whether a new pair of shoes or something as simple as digging through my ear ring draw and find a lone forgotten exquisite pair of earrings…it like finding a hidden treasure in my very own closet
You inspire me so much accidental icon I love your fashion , your post make me smile and are a breath of fresh air . Xx
I do and relate 100%. It’s truly inspiring to hear that I am not alone in my response to clothing and colour. I rarely wear black as it depresses me. I express myself through my clothing whatever that means for that day. When stressed or just exhausted, my fix is to immerse myself in colour. The colours offered by clothing or makeup is one way I can return to myself. It’s an easy fix and I don’t always purchase an item. As for the science, colour is an integral component of beautiful and relaxing spaces. Thank you Lyn for being thought provoking. Yours is one of the most intelligent sites I have had to good fortune to stumble over.
You know I had an inkling that many people were underestimating the intelligence of people who enjoy fashion.
Clothes are a language unto themselves. Feelings. Locations. Events. All influence what we choose to say.
I fully agree. I rarely plan what to wear the night before as I don’t know what persona I want to portray. Clothes are my palette on which I paint my presence. I am dedicated to black but mix in colour to surprise and to express.
I’m not sure why I am receiving these emails but I am struck by the “1%” nature of the fashion statement.
As a Christian in the Anglican tradition in Canada, this excessive affluence in designer clothing is galling.
However, I have loved “dressing up” since my early days in London, England, when I shopped at Carnaby Street and Harrods.
There are many ways to combat depression and although I recognize clothing can lift ones spirits, it is a rather shallow method.
Although for years there was an intuition that clothing impacted mood, there is now scientific evidence. As an academic, researcher and clinician myself I try to scope research about this topic. There is a group of researchers who have found through controlled random trials that what you wear impacts how you think and consequently how you perform. I found this very interesting in light of recent negative impacts of medical model solutions to human pain, the opioid epidemic as an example. I just wanted to say that what I was describing about myself was not depression because I am not pessimistic and land more on the side of optimism.
Elaine Dunsmore: I am sorry you don’t understand about creativity in everything.
Creativity can also be celebrated by Christians who are learning from the Bible, creating ways for children to learn and remember Bible stories.
When we really believe God created the world and we are made in his image, then we learn we are to be creative in anything we do. ?
Bless you.
You are so gracious. I never got the feeling you were identifying designers to “show off,” but to provide information. ALL of us wear must clothes. If someone wants to wear sackcloth as a way of showing their humility, more power to them. However, no one has a right to condemn others just because they have different ideas as to how they present themselves to the world.
You are an inspiration to many, especially those of us who are not comfortable giving into our society’s definition of how “old” should look.
Blessings to you!
I use my clothes as a statement to at times justify my bald head which really doesn’t need justification because it is actually a stand alone statement of freedom on it’s own.
Indeed it is!
My clothes are layers to my inner self. I worked at Lilly Reuben Salon, a shy African American at 17, now 61 I still find clothes however modest to reveal the one who is ME.
As it should be in my view.
Primarily, I want to recognize me once I’m dressed to go out and also when entertaining. I want to feel and be comfortable versus “assembled.” I want my clothes to fit with whatever the mood—celebratory, conversant (book club discussions), mindful (church services)—and leave space for me to be me. Otherwise my attire is defining my parameters which is as bad as dressing to impress or “be like” someone else.
My friend, a life coach forwarded this quintessential app to me. For I brief envious monent I thought I had written the essay myself. I am a sex educator and have had a life long interest in body image. And ancillary concerns about the impact a mother has on her daughter’a sense of herself like a crystal ball at her own future. How does the accidental icon play into these vital topics? In a multiplicity of ways. We could have a panel and thousands of women would eagerly attend. Clothing is a metaphor. As you gave profoundly demonstrated. They reflect your politics your personal magic; they animate your day, they tell the world you know the impact you have. You know you are not only a role model for your own daughter but for daughters unotherex and unmoored throughout your immediate world. Your sprit is an avenging angel and enspirit. It reflects how important fashion is as one if the critical ways we are given to express ourvindividuality. Even at my grandmotherly age, I take the time each day before I embark o. The serendipity to befall me….who do I need to be? Should I becbohemuan? Sophisticated? Edgy? Conventional? Sassy? Cute? Vintage-y? And I could go on.
I would love to know this bold brilliant beautiful accidental icon. She is my soul sister.
I love the very important point you are raising here. I get so many comments and emails from young women who tell me they have been conditioned to think of being older as something fearful and horrible. It is so very important that we continue to show them this is not the case. We at our ages at least those who come here are pretty clear about who they are. It is our daughters and granddaughters we need to address so they wast not one minute of their beautiful lives being fearful or anxious about getting older.
LOVE what you are doing and what you represent! As an extremely shy teenager who relied on my clothing as my engagement into the world, I so relate to your messages and appreciate them. As an almost 50 year old, I thank you for validating my younger years. You are truly a fashion icon for me in your interpretation of fashion and what it can represent and mean for not only the creative world, but the individual.
What a tool? Then and now.
Dear inspirational icon, I read all your posts and admire your work. This one really moved me as I do indeed dress in a way that speaks my truth. I’m not sure anyone hears me.
For example, today I chose to pin a rose to my lapel as I had my first meeting with a new Board. I often find it awkward making small talk with 10 very different senior business professionals. It’s a great ice breaker – if nothing else someone can say what’s with the rose!
I also find when I’m feeling stressed at work I will wear all black. Some days if I intended to wear colour but I’m a bit out of sorts, I have to get changed as it doesn’t feel right.
It was so great to read your post and not wonder if ima bit strange. Love your work!
Did you ever read the book, “Read My Pins” by Madeline Albright? She has a massive collection of brooches and the book is how she used them to convey non-verbal messages in her work as a diplomat. Your rose reminds me of that book.
Jill Wine Banks wears her “Jill’s Pins” to make political statements. It’s a wonderful way to use fashion!
I personally love handbags and shoes to convey my mood and to encourage dialog. A lot of my fashion pieces have an interesting story behind them, just like my art pieces.
Thanks for your always express and engaging thoughts. I don’t use clothing as language as much as for comfort. Guilty but at ease.
I have lost my Daugther at the age of 10. Her favorite color was blue, big time. I wear blue with my own touch of artistry. When I wear blue, I feel she is with me and makes me happy.
So sorry for your loss and such inspiration in how you chose to keep her close. Thank you for sharing this.
So sorry to hear about your daughter. So glad you have found something so personal to remind you of her in a happy way even when those around have no idea her memory is the reason for your strength.
Well written! Maybe I need to start to express feelings and ideas thru clothes.
Give it a try, it is also fun.
Yes, definitely, clothing is a language. It speaks to people who see you so even if they don’t know you they actually know something about you. Clothing to the wearer is like the cover is to a book.
The photo is stunning…great building, composition, and movement. The chain hanging from the bag is a fabulous addition. It adds a punctuation mark to the clothing as well as the photo.
Thanks for your inspiration.
Thank you for noticing my creative details!
Thank you for sharing this!! The realness for sure is something that gets lost with the scroll holes I often find myself in. These comparisons do nothing for us except block the creative vibes from flowing.
Clothing is certainly a language for me when I dress myself, style a shoot, and create the pieces. The concept of empowerment has been strong in my mind lately as I work on getting my self confidence back. It’s all so interesting. I now have a power romper from Rock and KHarma that makes me feel like I can take over the world. ?
I LOVE that phrase “scroll hole” never heard it before. Thank you!
Yes! Always! Love to you, my beautiful Accident!
The language of fashion
Was always my passion
But it’s style, not glamour,
that’s key to its pronunciation.
Each outfit on my back
represents the syntax,
my haircut the grammar
and my earrings the punctuation.
Creativity in words and deeds!
Everyday! I dress as an expression of how I’m feeling that moment I awake and begin a new day. As I awake very early, around 4:30ish, sometimes as the day goes on I feel the need to change my outfit to how I’ve progressed through the hours. I’ve always loved to play dress up, why stop because I’m growing wiser?!
Clothing is a language I employ daily. This post is right for right now. THANK YOU!
Such Wonderful Encouragement.
Thank you!
This is a very frank post and reminds us that clothing is very personal. I am not a person who can afford designer clothing, but I have been a vintage clothing lover since I was in high school. I’m now considered a senior. I love unconventional style. Great post, thank you.
Beautiful & wonderful thoughts and energy here! Thanks. Of course my clothing is a language, and as I read here, sometimes I’m “talking” to my self and sometimes I’m “talking” to others. Often the best outfits are those you curate with your inner voice.
Indeed, always.
I absolutely do use clothing as language, though I don’t know if I could express that as eloquently as you. I think our clothing and overall style reflects not only who we are, but the ebbs and tides of our moods….and the seasons too. Of course, some people….many people perhaps, just dress for comfort or convenience (i.e. yoga pants, sweat pants and sweatshirts, etc.) on an every day basis. Those people make me sad.
Perhaps they have other ways of being creative in the world, I hope so!
Thank you for your honesty in this post. I love the phrase “how creativity can move one forward into doing what one really wants to do in life”. It is a timely reminder to me personally as I realized and made my intention this year to return to my creative self instead of allowing the world and it’s expectations limit and squash my creativeness.
Love the write-up, relate to your compares & symbolism of the clothing choices you make. I’m 60 and have always slightly stood out from the average in the corporate world however I am no longer cumbered with the corporate constraints and am in the process of Reinventing myself and my career. I’m encouraged by you.
Let’s encourage each other!
Oh my, what a new world you just opened for me! I had not thought of clothes as a language ensemble, just how they make me feel. I do wear jewelry of my ancestors when I travel as protective spirits, pieces given to me by my mother and grandmothe that are also a comfort. Also I wear special brooches such as cameos and another that is Wedgewood with a mother and child that I think may connect me to the person I am meeting. Although not married i have tested wearing s wedding ring which is another interesting conversation topic of societal pressures to conform.
Yes accessories and clothes can be tools of disruption when of course disruption is needed!
I absolutely use clothes as a language — not that anyone actually listens. LOL! I have my “don’t mess with me today” tough girl outfits. I have my “I’m serious about my business today” outfits. I have my “Geek mode” outfits. And, of course, I have my “I’m not really in the mood for today” outfits — things I wear far too often, frankly.
I enjoyed your post very much. Do love the chain addition. The building backdrop – I love being among history & old buildings give this scale of time to mark oneself against.
I recall many years ago attending a lecture at A Textile Festival in Canberra – Junchi Arai, a Japanese Textile constructor/ Artist. He spoke of clothing being a mask. It was his fascination. He showed us slides of his mask collection in his home.
I often wear camouflage items, as I am asking people to see below surface. Some do.
Favourite clothing, has the power to make your day! Have a fab day Accidental Icon. ??
The “whole package” of who I am is always communicating with others. As for clothing specifically…perhaps using that as more in an unconscious way to “speak to others”.
What interested me too with your post is your feeling angry about your response to your Instagram posts.
Just yesterday, I was journaling about the fascination and preoccupation…even to a point of obsession with social media … en masse.
I wrote how at times some people, myself included, feel like unplugging from Instagram or Facebook or even texting.
But also knowing social media platforms are giving them “a voice” a way to communicate for their business and personal projects.
Interesting and thought provoking post.
I stopped following your Instagram account several months ago. While I enjoyed your posts, at some point I felt like I wasn’t appreciating them as much as I had initially did, when I first found your account.
It wasn’t just your account that sparked this feeling. I felt like I was following more people and their lives than leading + living my own. ❤️
Thank you for your very honest comments and also placing them in a context. This is a very real issue tension and I wonder how we could creatively respond.
I think that people do use clothing as a language without realizing that they do. Whether it’s ‘sloppy’ dressing, perhaps, indicating indecision or tumult in their life or the other extreme…being matchy matchy, which may be a need for order or perfection or confidence in choice. I could go on with the possible emotional/psychological choices in dressing but I’m sure you get my take on the question. As for myself…I always dress in black for divorce (2). Not for any reason other than I mourn the end of the relationship. Following the mourning period (very short as I instituted both proceedings), I add color or metallics back into daily wear.
Yes, it holds a lot of power as people make decisions and judgments based on what you wear. I saw this when I worked in the court system.
What is a “half hat”?
https://www.preview.ph/fashion/half-a-hat-yohji-yamamoto-a00191-20171004
. . . . . . . fabulous hat and perfect for you my dear – and I noted the runway model sporting just half an outlined lip too! Such fashion fun.
I so love your writing and insights. I am 59 and on days when I’m feeling a bit down, there is nothing that gets me energized more than putting on something that I feel fabulous in. I did the “KariMon” method to my closet two years ago and rediscovered two Dolce and Gabbana suits from a decade ago that were gathering dust because the pants didn’t fit. I sent the pants away and wear those beautiful jackets with the sleeves rolled up and revel in the luxurious satin animal print lining. With a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt and some great loafers, I feel like the best of me. You’re inspiring me as I turn 60 this year to be more aware and authentic. It’s a fabulous/laborious time of life and you are great companion for the journey. Thank you!
I have a vision of you right now with that animal print peeking through.
I think clothing/fashion is always a language. I use it as an expression of my love for design and how to create the best of me whether it accentuates the positives or is an optical illusion for my insecurities. Some people you can tell are trying to hide from the world while others are yelling at the world. Some people are welcoming you in while others are saying stay away. Whatever it is, clothing is always a language.
So wonderful to have this tool of expression and when we view it this way we are wearing the clothes they are not wearing us to share a cliche.
Of course. Clothing is language. It speaks to the world & holds stories & memories. I like weatherproof clothes because I’m always out & about. I love color & sparkly things but in my daily life I wear a uniform to conserve my energy. I think it is hard to remain quirky when you become a public figure. But fame & more money is maybe worth becoming more mainstream. You can use your powers for the good.
That’s a very interesting perspective, I will have to think on how I might do that without loss of self, thank you.
Always. Regarding your outfit, it makes you come across as a fierce musketeer, which reminds me that Alexandre Dumas’ novel “The Three Musketeers” was one of my childhood favorites. Back to childhood and play, this is the mood you sent me, on purpose or not.
Ah yes, good association.
As I have found myself getting caught up in the frustration of world events and the constantly polarizing discussions that seem to be everywhere I am lately, I’ve turned to linen and hope, in its casual grace, it says “Let’s talk about beautiful things instead” so I don’t have to.
Yes lets create beautiful visual images that show the kind of world we want to live in rather than talk about it.
Success…the outfit visually expresses all that you verbally expressed. Can you pass on the make/designer of the holster,/ handbag? I love it!
Thanks, and enjoy the day.
Bond Hardware.
Of course, it has alwayz been reflective of personal and emotional sentimment on a daily basis. Sometimes it sends a message, sometimes it plays with people’s concieved ideas about me, sometimes it channels fashion icons.
It is a creative act, like sculpting but using clothes and it moves you from just consuming.
Yes…. I use clothing to express myself on a daily basis. I find it very therapeutic and I look forward to assembling “outfits” every morning.!
For me, clothes are a way of “armoring up”. The right ones make me feel brave & protected-that I am “enough”. I also work in the academe, where I suffer under the delusion of imposter syndrome. I always enjoy myself more if I have this protective shield, and am generally more comfortable being myself.
Ah that is exactly what Yohji Yamamoto wrote about why he designed clothes for women that were unlike any other fashion design of his time.
Does one have to be wealthy and buy expensive designer fashion to be fashionable? Your clothing choices excludes those who cannot afford Helmut Lang designs. I believe It take real creativity to make a fashion statement without $$$$$ to spend. Let’s face it … this blog is for those who have excess dollars to spend. I think the challenge for the accidental icon is to express herself in clothing that is within the normal person’s budget.
Interesting as everything I am wearing in this photo I got at secondhand consignment shops with the exception of the shirt a gift and the hat which was a token for a trip to Tokyo for work. The pants were $30 and the jacket was $80.The shoes were $20. As a social worker and professor who do not have huge amounts of disposable income, I have had to be thrifty while still accessing designers I admire. Last weeks red boots were purchased for $10 at a store here in NYC called Beacons Closet. For me, the social experience of frequenting thrift, vintage and consignment stores is an experience I love and I pride myself on finding bargains. Sites like the Real Real have sales on may top designer pieces if you wade through. I have gotten a Gries van Noten silk shirt for $25. For example, right now there is a vast array of pieces by Helmut Lang for $60 and below. Poshmark, Vestaire Collective are also some of my online haunts. Often I am mixing designer pieces that have been given to me with my own wardrobe very much from the recycled world.
A lot of AI’s clothes sound expensive but I’m guessing some of the pieces are quite old. For example the Helmet Lang pants would have to be at least 15 years old as they were purchased before he left the company to pursue a less visible artist’s career.
As we mature we collect special pieces along the way and if we don’t throw them out, they can become treasures. I believe in buying quality clothes that are original and looking after them so they last. I also search for vintage pieces and often buy them for a song.
People often tell me I’m very well dressed but I’m sure they would be quite shocked to learn that I have invested far more care and consideration than money in the pieces that I wear.
Agree with you completely and yes they are old it’s about care, repair, and mending.
I’m in my 50s, well educated, but as an artist I’ve always been low income — often downright poor. Since my 20s most of my clothing has come from thrift stores; the only things I always buy new are footwear, socks and underwear. I’ve educated my eye and can spot the good pieces; it’s not just about the label. Most other customers — and many thrift store staff — don’t know that much about clothes and don’t take the time to really look. Those who do can find wonderful things; not the flashy, obvious pieces from the few big names, but quiet, quality items that will make us look great and serve as the basis for great personal style.
I have many designer pieces, accumulated slowly over the years: trousers by Armani, Prada, Celine, and more; a few things from Jil Sander, including a suit that fits me perfectly; sweaters from Narciso Rodriguez and Rick Owens and countless wonderful pieces from designers and brands that aren’t as well known. All were found by taking the time to go through the racks carefully (not just the lone “designer” rack, which I tend to skip), taking a careful look at pieces that didn’t have a big name on the label, but were clearly of high quality, and buying only what really fits and feels good. At home, I occasionally take an afternoon, open my closet and drawers and play with my clothes, putting things together, experimenting, seeing what looks best. I save my money for the best quality footwear I can afford and the underpinnings that make it all work. All of this does take time, but the confidence I gain (and the fun of the process) is absolutely worth it.
For anyone who would like to educate themselves further, I recommend “Secondhand Chic”, by Crista Weil. Even if you would never dream of visiting a thrift store, this book has a wealth of information I’ve never found gathered anywhere else: how to recognize a quality garment, understanding fit, a chart of fabric care symbols and exactly what they mean, lists of designers beyond the usual big names (plus how to pronounce them) and more. After reading this you will be far better prepared to go into a thrift store — or any store — and find hidden gold. Another good book is “Style Evolution”, by Kendall Farr, which is specifically written for women in middle age and beyond and provides the tools to determine your style, tell what works on your body, and keep current. She also preaches that style and looking good are not about what you spend, but knowing yourself and your body, finding what works for you and taking care with the details.
I apologize for the length of this comment; as you all can see, this is a subject I’m passionate about.
Yes I do.
I came to Canada from Europe 5 years ago and noticed the fact that there is no fashion sense here. From the street level all the way to corporate offices and events. Women have lost their sense of fashion and they even recognise it.
So I am ALWAYS dressing up the best I can, I am following the trends, source new and vintage clothes all the time, find new designers, go to all the fashion shows and fashion events.
Especially as I do have my own successful jewelry line that puts me in the fashion world as well.
But everywhere I go I will be the best dressed, the one people look back on the street after, the one stopped on the street by people stunned about my outfits and my jewelry.
But I cannot stop, I have to keep my convictions and show the world as an example that this is the way, that it is still possible to see today women well dressed on the street and this is not a thing of the past as everybody is thinking here.
Many kisses, I love you and respect deeply your work and engagement with you audience !
Best Regards,
Monica
What a wonderful attitude, when we dress this way and use clothing this way we stop being controlled and a slave to consumerism and take more control and power over what we spend our money on.
Love this post. You’ve nailed something we are all struggling with: balancing our social media identities with our “actual” identity.
And yes: the stars shall lead us through the darkness; we are all made of stars.
Yes I wonder what kind of structures we need to start containing some of it, maybe this blog is a start.
Beautifully written thoughts. Thank you
A word and textile poet are you.
Oh my that made me feel wonderful, thank you
My collegue recently said: you wear happy clothes, so you must feel very happy! Well, I answered, especially when I feel sad I dress happy so it makes me feel better after a while! Therapy by clothes. When I look in the mirror and dislike what I see, I fix hair and make-up and put on something nice, even when I stay at home alone and I start feeling better already.
Clothing for an older me is a balancing act of self-expression and the need not to descend into trying to hold onto the desire to stay in my 20’s and 30’s and wanting sex appeal. To find the middle ground of elegant/casual/flattering and age appropriate without being boring. Oh and not made simpler by extra pounds put on through life. To be put together and not a put-on.
Elegantly stated, put together, not put on.
Absolutely! I love your creativity. I dream about clothing all the time. I am a retired senior now , however; that will not stop me. I am eager to move ahead in a creative flow. I do not sew, therefore; I am not sure how to proceed with the images I have been shown in dreams. One day I will connect with the right divinely appointed individuals who can collaborate with me on this business venture. It will be a passion of mine for the future.
Exciting!
Yes. Pajamas all day. “Leave me alone and let me rest”
Love you dear cousin/sister of mine. ?
I love your style. I use clothing to express my emotions and mindset of the moment. Having worn uniforms my whole career it is so refreshing to let my personality express itself through what I chose for the day. When I need to feel fierce or confident my go to color is of course red. Taking pieces from my closet and combing them in ususal ways opens up my playful side. What i wear sends a message out to the world. Joy, sorrow, love, compassion, powerful and confidence. It can also boost me out of the sense of being stuck and is the carol jar in need to my imvrace the artist in me. That creativity that falls to the side yet still needs to be nourished.
Well we have some companionship here to do that nourishing.
As a seasoned lady…;love your attitude
I use clothing to feel powerful. As I go into my 70’s I find that I could be discounted. Through the use of clothes and accessories I am able to express the artistry and passion I have for life and to be joy filled.
I also make one of a kind jewelry pieces and knit and crochet so that I can furher express who I choose to be…a vibrant, exciting woman who is aging gracefully!
and creatively and vibrantly.
I love this piece. It made me realize that we use clothing as language even when that’s not at all our intention. I live in an exceedingly casual place where I often times give no thought at all to what I’m wearing. This has led to feeling frumpy and unattractive so many times. It can be rather depressing. Perhaps I’m inadvertently saying I don’t care or feel well enough about myself to be bothered to give any thought to how I dress. So, yes, that’s saying something. This makes me want to try harder to say something different…something better. I am inspired. Thank you.
I can’t wait to hear (see) what you want to say!
Clothes has always been an external language that expresses who we are, where we’ve been in life, where we are going, where we’d like to be going, and who we’d like to be. It expresses our mood, our joys and anguish, our hopes and our despair. Our clothes can say more about ourselves than words could ever capture.
Yes I agree now what needs to be said right now and by whom?
One of my favorite quotes is by Walt Whitman, “I am large, I contain multitudes.” This is especially true of women as we pass through every phase of life. We live many lives within one life. Yet society still stereotypes and marginalizes our dress as we age. What needs to be said by all generations of women is that dress is not an age, and our choices should not be limited by a number, but by our choice of style, the needs of our circumstances, and the whims of our soul. Personally, I love Beatrice Woods reflection on her life, she wrote that wometimes “I shock myself.” It’s fun to push the limits of our self expression…within esthetic reason of course!
Yes, I do sometimes use clothing as a language! There are times when I see my day as a scene. I want to direct that scene to a certain mood, outcome, or elicit a reaction. Clothes are a tool to do that. Sometimes I want to show my full self, other times not. Clothes can expose or hide you. They can make you feel strong or vulnerable. I love that range.
That’s how I see it, it is very performative, it reminds me of Irving Goffman the sociologist and how he talks about roles.
Yesssssssss All the time!
I absolutely believe that what we wear belies our inner world. This blog is an inspiration to do that consciously and proactively. As a travelling wilbury at the moment I notice my wardrobe is far more pragmatic than I feel like being. Food for thought!
Yes it is a huge source of untapped power.
Your thoughts inspire me. They are not just “cover ups”
they reveal thoughts.
Thank you that is a lovely compliment.
ALL THE TIME!
I sure do use clothing as a language. Do I feel proper or bohemian? Or do I feel properly bohemian????
I always enjoy reading your blog and can relate on many levels. I am a 63 year old woman who has always used clothes and (fashion) to express who I am. When I was younger there were times when I would hesitate to wear something considered “out of the norm”, but now after dealing with two major health issues, I wear whatever makes me feel happy (of course I always try to be respectful of the situation and event – example: I still will not wear white to a wedding!!! Some old rules stick with you for a lifetime!) Keep being an inspiration to all ages!
Oh, yes, I surely do. Clothes convey a message. I wear all leather when I want to look strong. I always add a trendy piece to convey that I am up-to-date and know what’s going on. I wear high heels to convey that I will keep the standards high. They also serve to be on eye-height with my mostly male colleagues. I think dressing strong and looking competent and not minor (even when it is just missing height) it’s especially important when one works in a male dominant field. I’m professor of atmospheric sciences.
I OFTEN use clothing as a language, both happy and full of despair. I can understand you completely. I am known for colorful, tasteful clothing — not necessarily office clothing, but when I went through a period of loss some years ago, I could not wear many items in my closet and in particular a belt with charms that jingled. I could not jingle, no way.
I wear all black as it makes me feel skinner, not that I care about my 173lbs on a 5’7” frame it’s just a thing..maybe I should try color?
I think it’s human nature to feel the need to express ourselves not only for ourselves in our garments, but sometimes to convey an emotion on to others too.
In an interview I saw with Donatella Versace, she points out that a dress can be a “weapon” for a woman to get what she wants. I agree with this notion because for example, if I want to get a job, I’ll then dress for the part. If I’m going to church, I’ll then dress more conservative. If I want to provoke a man to desire me, then I’ll dress more attractive. Even if I want to piss- off the ex’s new girl… well, let’s just say I know how to dress for that too! LOL ?
Thank you! Clothes are a wonderful way to connect to the ‘outer’ world, but at the same time enable one to feel grounded and safe, while being artistic. As a little girl, who went to an all girls school and had to wear uniforms, I longed for the day when I could express myself through fabric and design. As a ‘woman of wisdom’ (71) and still working, clothes help me ‘gear up’ for my life coaching clients!
I love your attire. It is fabulous! I also love to go digging in my closet of “yesteryears”, (from 1960-2018), and pick out a vintage wardrobe and mix it with what ever goes together. I love to wear the clothing of the 70’s and feel the happy times in my life all over again. TY for your article. fascinating.
As a portrait photographer for women of a “certain age”, I find that the clothing and jewelry we choose for the shoots really does impact the final product. The outfits lend confidence through self expression and these women are more likely to show their true selves.
By the way I recently saw the Go-Daddy Ad on tv. Sensational. So happy to see you.
I totally understand the conflict between engaging and the necessity of engaging. We have painted ourselves into a cyber corner with social media. Your post reminds me once again of the yin/yang nature of the universe. Good luck with your new project! You are an inspiration.
I like how you described each element of your outfit and why you wore it to express what you were feeling. I totally believe in the power of clothing and how it makes us feel or expresses what we are feeling. Love reading your posts!
I love wearing black and hats. Your ensemble of pieces is something I would enjoy wearing. It’s fall in Buenos Aires, and the outfit is perfect for the weather here.
Exciting outfit, and I love how each piece has a meaning to you. If I could afford your beautiful clothes, I’d dress up every day! Instead, I stay home and paint in oils and pastels. The color I put on my body is usually the accidental touch of the brush on my arms, face, legs, and old clothes.
I think of clothes as a sort of costume. When I get dressed, I’m telling a little story. Each element of the outfit needs to add a piece of information to that story. Some days I’m a Bauhaus-chic art collector, sometimes a demure princess with pearls. Clothing is an endless source of self expression. I can emphasize any facet of my personality I desire.
Actually I have no idea what this means on the practical side! If you feel joy, you were lots of colors? It sounds kind of simplistic, is maybe a bit more complicated?
Estoy de acuerdo con que muchas veces uno se viste segun el estado de animo. Yo todos los dias aun sin tener ninguna actividad mas que estar en mi casa busco ponerme algo agradable a mi vista.
Cuando salgo de acuerdo al lugar que vaya trato de combinar la ropa que me voy a poner acompañandola con la biyutery.
Thank you for sharing your style and journey with us. You are an inspiration to me and many others. Thanks for sharing your doubts and being real. Your openness and honesty gives me hope and your expression with style has encouraged me to accept my being the way it was created and express myself with fabrics and styles that are more daring and artsy than my usual wardrobe, make me smile, stand straighter, and walk more confidently.
That makes me so happy!
I carefully plan what I will wear out to an even, Theater, dinner even a simple lunch with friends or a trip to ahair salon. I believe that what I wear represents who I am as well as my demeanor and words I speak. If I go outside of my clothing comfort zone I feel at odds with myself and off balance. I am 67 years old and love vintage clothing mixed with a few contemporary pieces. I cycle and practice yoga and fit and can still “rock” ( my husbands words) jeans and a tee and heels. Mostly I love dressing up. Too often as older women we are told to dress a certain way and I say if it looks good wear it! Thank you so much for your posts I am always inspired.
Always. I have since I was a child. Finding new ways to put items together to create a story for that day is a great way to lift my spirit. When people, young and old, comment on how much they love a piece I’m wearing or the look I have created, I feel good and this inspires me to achieve more in my work and personal life.
Clothes are an extension of spiritual, my dreams,my imagination and being on the wrong side of 50 they say “here I’m am, I’m not fading into the background”
Thank you for such an inspiring post.
I absolutely use clothing as language. Not only do I use it to express myself but I also use it to open other people up. I work in a job where I have to teach new concepts to professionals who are usually less than willing to listen. Once I get a read on who they are, I dress to try and help them be less defensive or to help them see me as more relatable. Sometimes I have to show them that I am strong and confident and know my stuff. It is a powerful tool.
Interesting idea about the transactional nature of how you use clothing to engage. Thanks for sharing that.
I’m right with you on the engage/disengage social-media dilemma. I do not use FB or Instagram because I feel they are such brain-drains and killers of time. But most of my friends do use them and, increasingly, do not use any other means of communication. They seem to post their whole lives on these platforms and if I do not engage then I am left out. On the other hand, I am free of the ‘comparisonitis’ and ‘like-addiction’ that seems to blight their lives. Blogs and books are my thing.
I love the clothes you wear. I wish I had the opportunity to be more flamboyant.
I loved this post and always find you inspiring. Yesterday I was taking an hour ferry home to where I live. Three young people (two very gender neutral) had such badass, clearly curated outfits and piercings and hairstyles that I wanted to scream out and yell “I LOVE YOU ALL AND I HOPE YOU KEEP THOSE ATTITUDES AND CREATIVITY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES”. After reading this post, I’m sorry I didn’t speak up. ?
Next time you will!
Accidental Icon, thank you for sharing your beauty inside and out. And thank you to all other writers for sharing. I’m undertaking a huge transformation at a late stage in life and you are such an inspiration. Although I’ve always admired others for their fashion, style, and being a ‘good dresser’ I have never felt bold enough to really invest in a beautiful wardrobe that makes a statement, of sorts, about who I am. Your blog’s given me power and inspiration to say ‘screw that nonsense’ to myself of course since now I have only myself to answer to. Feels good to write this. God bless you, Accidental Icon.
So wonderful! Also so happy you acknowledged all the brilliant women who comment.
I love this and I agree clothing speaks a language before you open your mouth. For some of us it is a reflection of our mood, for others it is just a means to an end.
I am so looking forward to having the privilege of hearing you speak at our Association of Image Consultants International Conference next week. You are truly an inspiration of being yourself.
Just love your thoughts….. and yes I use clothing as an expression of who I am. I have a favorite pair of denim with embroidered flowers that always puts me in the hippie and gardening mood! Also love playing with my scarves to change an outfit. Like the way you put this outfit together.
Yes! As a high school student I was a size 10 petite. It was very difficult to find clothes that fit off the rack. Sales people would tell me we don’t carry clothes for people that big… or lose a few pounds and it will fit. I found shoes my greatest comfort since I was a standard 7.5. I started collecting bright colored, unusual shoes which led to people take notice. At one point in my career while working for a large financial services organization, my career coach suggested I keep basic black pumps at my desk. I was heart broken. So I first cornered the CEO in an elevator and told him I met with my coach and she told me I can’t wear these shoes any more. He said, “What? Why”. I told him they tell people, I don’t think like them and they won’t take my ideas seriously. He told me that was ridiculous. He hired me as Creative Director to think differently and to let him know who was problematic. So I went one by one to his direct reports, sharing this story. I would then be greeted with a look at my shoes and if they were basic black, would be asked who was giving me a hard time because I wasn’t acting like myself. Now that I’m a college professor, I give a graduation shoe award to students that I’ve walked the journey with during their 4 year experience. I buy us matching shoes!
INSPIRATION!!!
Such a nice post.
Nice info.
Yes I do use clothes in that way. Im an artist in Phoenixville, PA and live a bicoastal life, Los Angeles being the other one. People say i make a statement with my art and my clothing. My creativity in design, painting and clothes say what my words cannot.
I love your style.
Thank you and especially for talking out each of our power to communicate.
I used to express myself, my feelings, my world with my clothing company. Now due to illness not so much. I am homebound a great deal of the day.
However what I used to express with clothes I now express with my nails. I am a nail artist which is something I wanted to do most of my working life. I do it for my enjoyment and have found an entire nail community that supports me.
I understand how you can get lost in how many likes, comments, etc on IG. I too have had that happen. I just have to step back and realize that this is my expression for my enjoyment.
IG dwooleybooger
What an inspiration for us all! No matter what happens to our physical bodies the creative spirit can always find expression if we are clever and allow it. Bravo my dear.
Keep being the real you and keep writing your real thoughts about fashion and life with the original intention, it is too more precious in such a fussy world full of useless info. You inspire and influence people all over the world. 頑張って！
Thank you and I will.
You look perfectly quixotic. Your piece made me think. I’ll go for that exercise when I open my closet in a bit and choose my clothes for the day.
I’d like to quickly say that you are an incredibly inspiring person. I really enjoy reading your posts and seeing your pictures. But, to answer your question, I definitely think of clothing as a language. Language, like art, is something to express a feeling with. So if clothing is art, then I can see it as a language too.
I admire your sense of style and the way you put things together. I have never thought of clothing as language but I certainly feel different in the right clothes. I enjoy looking for clothes to wear to a speak event and always feel wonderful in clothing that I truly love. I wish I had the discipline to choose more carefully for my daily life. I love how I feel in “good” clothes no matter where they’re from. I feel that i just don’t have a sense of style. You are inspiring and I am learning more about style from you than anyb”fashion” magazine.
Style comes from inside you and who you are. Think of a word that describes you and then look at your clothes and find something that conveys that.
I wore black for nearly 4 years. I felt dark. I felt that I come to work and dive into an unrealistic enterprise of bits and bytes; leaving me wordless but satisfied for a temporal time. My dopamine meter rises and falls with each software program response to my demands a la code depending on if my demands are spitting the stuff I want. When the day is over I “wake up” and enter my home, my family, community at times, and it’s like I’ve been asleep for hours and hours. Real world stuff smacking me on the back of the head. ouch! And I wore black. As time went on in a profession where only my fingers and neurons move, I wore black in all textures. Even my shoes. It was a statement. Not a lack of care. Life went on, raising a tough teen sent me running to therapy, separation and being immensely disliked, losing my sister, my mom, and burrowing in more before shooting out of my nest with clothes that fit my soul. I stop now at work to dream, to seek the person who I am, a bit of a wordsmith, a creative, someone whose passion was put to the side. Finding you sent a shock wave through me a few years ago… why am I hiding? Textures play a big part in my clothes. I have to feel comfortable. I have to feel joy slipping into a fluffy pullover under which is layered silks… I wear all white sometimes in winter. Purples in Spring. Deep greens and blues and silvers… I love boots…ankle high. I’m back to expressing myself through clothes I can’t afford… but afford what I can… pulling it all together with fun messy hair. I’m 63 and feel 33. I don’t dress to impress anyone but myself. Love you Lyn!! Thank you for putting it out there!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of how you think and who you are.
I used to wear pale pink in university. I wanted to fade into the background. (Pale pink is often the color of bridesmaids’ dresses.) If I wanted to attract attention and have the energy to engage with others I would wear red. These days I wear a lot of green (healing), blue (serenity) and earth tones (grounding).
A lovely color story.
I’ve always used clothing as a means of expression, confidence building and joy. It doesn’t matter what the clothing costs, it’s how it makes me feel. You are stylish, thoughtful and intelligent…how refreshing!
Sometimes I like to use clothes to express the fact that I don’t want to be put in a certain box, re-inventing myself and trying to surprise myself and others , in a “good” way as if to say, aha, you didn’t know I could put together this color combination or just trying to use and wear what’s in my closet in a “different” way… I am 66 years and sometimes I dare to be seen, ya know ?
You got that right!
Love your blog and your attitude on everything in this world we call life. Yes I use my clothing as a language. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and on my worst pain days (which also include depression) I tend to dress in big and baggier clothing in order to accommodate the type of braces on my joints that I may need on that particular day. I really don’t care what I look like on these days as pain management is my utmost concern. But on pain free or less pain days, then I wear whatever makes me feel good, and whatever activity I have during my good days. That may mean something flirty to a social event or just jeans/leggings with a cute top when meeting friends for lunch.
The meaning of resilience, thank you.
Dear Accidental icon,
I really like your way to present your thoughts so well it feels more like a conversation. For me Clothing as language its depend on event what you wearing like in a party you dress say I am confident, stylish, attractive and same time calm. I am very bad to express my feeling in words but after I read your whole article I think I can come up in words in clothing. It is good to read your article. I am wondering how you came up with such beautiful ideas. I think you could use more people to express more and more. I think that could inspire more women. I am waiting for your more post like this.
Thank you because that is what I want to provoke a conversation.
yes all the time! very much according to my mood, bright colours when I am happy and in a positive mood.
neutral oversized clothes when I am reflective and try to solve problems. Ruth
I am happy to hear that there is true scientific evidence that clothing affects mood. I’m 65 and remember very well the feeling of wearing a special new outfit for the first day of school in the fall. And certain outfits just made you want to sit up straight and do your best that day – in fact there was an expression I heard often from moms that went along the lines of “you look good, you do good”. So I wonder if going back to school after the summer break isn’t downright depressing if you’re dressed in the same shorts, flip-flops, jeans that you slopped around in all summer? Even though I didn’t have children, I often wonder if super casual clothing might negatively influence academic performance.
I just heard of another study where they gave jackets to the two groups. They told one group it was a Gucci and the other from H & M. The Gucci group performed better. The casual look would be a fun experiment,
Clothes are my amour and my joy
Thanks for posting these. you are becoming some of my favourite blogs!
I enjoyed your “dissection” of this outfit with the description of what each piece means to you. I was delighted by this outfit because it reminds me of the fierce black ensembles you wore when you started your blog. The jacket proportion sings to me! Clothing has been my creative outlet for so many years, but now I find myself struggling with what to wear; things don’t fit well, and our weather is so up and down I don’t know how to dress. I feel like my style needs a kick in the ass, but am not sure how to make this happen. You continue to be an inspiration.
My mood is always cold, according to my mood, bright colors when I am happy and in a positive mood.
Neutral oversize clothes when I reflect and try to solve problems. Thank you for helping us
I love this process.