Today I spent a pleasurable part of the day experimenting with my camera. Following in Calvin’s footsteps before the Great Interrupter I got myself a Leica CL. Small and very easy to manage I developed the habit of taking it with me on my walks and travels. I study light and see more details, more beauty in the mundane. The last time I used it until today was the third week of March. Today I’m experimenting with the self-timer and the art of focusing on nothing that I hope will become something.
Yesterday I went out with no camera in hand. Aimless rambles are on hold. Nature once taken for granted as being there whenever I needed it is now hard to find. Randall’s Island, my old haunt is a far walk from home and now that the bathrooms are closed I’m not up for peeing behind a tree. This day the bright sky with its promise of Vitamin D and the feel of a breeze draws us to walk by the East River. The pockets of green and blue in the city like Central Park or the Promenade along the river are now filled with clusters of younger people, some not wearing masks.
Let me not generalize here. It’s not all young people. It’s young women, sleek in Lycra running gear like mine from Lululemon, pristine running shoes and not a face covering in sight. No sweatshirt tied around a neck, no t-shirt that when pulled up could keep me safe. I counted 25 of them, all of a type, high ponytails bouncing. My hair is now long enough, and I have one too, though mine is grey. As someone who appreciates looking stylish, one could access a designer mask or a Hermès scarf if you prefer, draped around a neck until it needs to be of service. My choice of mask for today, colorful madras, suggests summers on Nantucket or Newport, Rhode Island.
I must confess to a certain amount of betrayal and rage as one girl ran so close to my ear I could hear and feel the force of her breath. It felt like being held up with a gun. Ironically, some of these young women probably follow me on Instagram. The ones that leave comments that say, “I want to be you when I’m older.” They fit the demographic. I want to scream at these young women, “One day because you have privilege you will be me.” By me, I mean privileged old. A fit and healthy soon to be 67-year-old, with an enviable life, plenty to live for and given medical breakthroughs perhaps for at least 20 maybe even 30 more years. Here’s the caveat: unless I’m taken down before my time by the Great Interrupter.
I want to scream from inside the mask I’m wearing that protects them more than it protects me, “Will you also want to die when you’re me?” I answer to myself, “No, you will not.” Because you will still wear beautiful clothes, take your granddaughter on a trip to Paris, have a lover, write a story, post on Instagram, walk in the sun, start a new career, pursue a long-deferred passion, have good friends and run along the river. You’ll feel you still deserve a place on the promenade. You’ll not want to stay inside. You are me and I am you except that I’m old. The Great Interrupter prefers me over you, it seems.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made my peace with death. I’m not so naïve in my celebration of age that I deny the reality of my aging body or the arbitrariness of fate. I’m fine with it but that does not mean I flaunt unhealthy habits or engage in what I know to be risky behaviors. I know a car can randomly hit me, but I still look both ways before I cross the street even when I’m jaywalking. I control what I can and am open to the possibility of everything else.
I find this lack of thoughtfulness from other women almost as distressing as what I read in the news these days. I just wish they understood how careless they are being with those who are in truth their future selves.
So today I remain inside until I can figure out the best time to go walking in the sun when I want to. I go out to the store because I want some flowers. I want a piece of outside to come inside. I walk back and forth in front of the display passing the pastels and muted tones of the spring flowers until I see some bold orange and yellow tulips. They remind me of a fire and the way they stand out is like a scream. They feel satisfying.
I bring them home and know I will photograph them and me. Some photos in focus, others are not. Somehow I prefer those not in focus, it feels more like the life I’m living right now. Still out of focus and as yet unknown, I’m grateful that I’ve been around long enough to know that the future will all become clear in time. If I keep experimenting and practicing, I will find my focus. I will feel safe to walk on the promenade once again.
Beautiful way of living life.
yes 🙂
So enjoyed your post; but then I usually enjoy most of your posts anyway. Today we are not only similar in age but similar in our thoughts
Be well
thank you!!! So grateful for all you are saying. So powerfully and beautifully expressed. We adore you, respect you. Stay safe. Be vigilant in your PLACE and your VOICE and your POWER.
Outdoors you would need to be breathing their air for 5 min. Runners and bikers should not wear masks, but also not run or ride directly behind another for any length of time. It would inhibit their breathing too much. That said, social distancing is courteous and a good practice even in outdoor environment.
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your prospective as these have been feelings I too have been experiencing.
Funny until recently I had not realized how many greens there are in all the trees. I love your photos.
The incredible selfishness of some people, not just the young, takes my breath away. I am already 67, and I fear we have not taught our children to be selfless, to take care of others, to be thoughtful. I, too, rage.
Madras? Newport, RI? An Hermès scarf, running/exercise gear from Lululemon? Is this real life or are you just label obsessed? Oh, and the Leica, following in Calvin’s footsteps. Great qualifications. Some of us put in the real work and get an MFA
This is not the usual way we conduct conversations here. If you want to be part of them have something productive to say. If you want to suggest to me there are some benefits to getting an MFA I would be happy to hear them. It’s a shame you focused on the concrete when the article is clearly about privilege. I state mine very explicitly. If you took any time to find out who I am you would know that until recently I have been a social worker and a professor of social welfare so yes I do indeed know about real life. I’ve put in a great deal of work on many things throughout my life.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I do not understand how others can have such careless disregard for others—old or young. Hopefully our wisdom, perseverance and determined grit will save us from the Great Interrupter. I am a soon-to-be 66-year old whose parents enjoyed life well into their 90’s, and I am doing my best to do all I can to follow in their footsteps.
Yesterday at the grocery, with mask and gloves on, I was checking out. A young man began to unload his cart without maintaining the 6 foot/wait until the customer in front of you has completed their payment and move forward. I turned and said, ‘Sir, please step back until I have cleared the check out. He said “oh you’re one of those”. I replied, “Yes I am and proud to be – someday you will be one ‘one of those’ too.
I am 72 years young, healthy and in shape and very active. I work hard to stay this way so I can enjoy the next 20+ years in good health. I’m not going anywhere because there is so much left to do.
I love your perspectives on life, sustainability and fashion. Thanks for sharing your journey with me.
Thank you
Your words are what my heart needed ?
And mine!
I read your article with keen interest. I am one of those women who doesn’t wear a mask (your age group) when I am out walking. I keep my two meters social distance, if someone comes too close to me I hold my breath and turn my head away while continuing on. Why? Because outdoors where the possibility of contracting the virus while maintaining social distance is highly unlikely.
I’m noticing people becoming more and more anxious as you describe yourself. This virus is not going to disappear. We must find ways to protect ourselves both physically and mentally.
Take a deep breath and enjoy your walk in your local park, smile and greet people passing by. Save the mask for the grocery store, bus, airplane, etc – crowded indoor places. Wash your hands and don’t touch your face. It’s astounding to me how often people touch their face.
Enjoy your health.
PS try doing a search for COVID 19 cases acquired through outdoor contact while walking. I have yet to find one confirmed case.
Thank you for those reassuring words.
Please do not be reassured into abandoning your mask, at least not before reading this. “How to Social-Distance as America Opens Back Up” in the New Yorker. (Sorry, can’t seem to include a link in the comment.) Dr. Asaf Bitton says “If you cannot see another person around you, and it’s in a well-ventilated, outdoor area, fine, I would suppose that you don’t need a mask. But if you are going to a crowded beach, a crowded park, walking down the street where people are talking and breathing and coughing and sneezing, you should wear a mask.” You are a treasure. May you thrive.
You are not required to wear a face mask when you are outside running, walking, or biking. You must maintain a 6 ‘ distance. I am 68 and I do not wear a mask when I walk. I am very aware of my surroundings and move out of the way if need be. It’s important to be situationally aware these days.
It depends on where you are I guess. In NYC and state you have to wear a face covering.
This is an excellent post. I fully relate to every word
First, I value your openness and vulnerability. AND STYLE!!!! My heart always does a cartwheel when I see you in my email. I understand all that your are feeling. I agree with some of what you express. But not all. I am a healthy, fashion lover, fit, 70 year old. You quoted about how the clusters are now along the trail. You are one of them. Thank heavens! Having a former GA TECH graduate/architect and neighbor commit suicide last week after his wife left for work, once again shines on the horrible effect this is having on so many. The media spends little time on reporting or even inquiring why the statistics are not gathered/reported. FEAR is paralyzing! We need to get back out! The mask is so controversial! Some experts say yes . . . some say it does not prevent you from receiving or giving. I do not want the fear of the most vulnerable (I, included) desecrate our society! And this discussion cannot be complete without the obvious belief, yet personally disguised attempt, that we need to keep up this FEAR for our candidate to get re-electd on Nov. 3. I have many friends who are liberal, as you are, and they are the FEARFUL ones! Yet, I have to find humor in these beloved people in my life, as to how they are right in there going to Home Depot, salons, workout places, etc. Just saying . . . Keep writing because I love to read and absorb your perspectives. Blessings . . .
Let me say I completely and totally relate to the deep desire and need to get the economy going and to get back to work. I understand how deep and profound economic security is. It does not even need to be a mask, it can be a scarf or bandanna that can be around your neck until you find yourself in close quarters, pull it up for half a second walk by pull it down. Many. would not think twice before this about wearing a scarf or bandanna. A mask is an object that is receiving projections that aren’t really there. It’s like the Emperor’s New Clothes when you really break it down.
maybe leaflets (or masks?) from a plane onto the promenade? oh lyn! i do hope that the future you(s) are reading this blog post. i am constantly amazed at what i consider a lack of consciousness from folks. sad to hear that it is happening in new york which was so hard hit.
Something engaging and creative, let’s mull that over.
Candidate elected, not re-elected on Nov. 3. A big error in typing on my part.
I like you post!! I am 52 and an RN Expecting my first grandchild in a few months . I am so careful with myself so that I don’t expose others . I wish others felt the same.
I love this essay. I feel it all.
Such beautiful writing. Thank you. And yes, the young and mask less need to consider the bigger picture.
It’s obvious isn’t it? Survival is about full gear protection that can be easily washed & fit whatever scene. The cultures of women in burqas Might be fashion forward. Too much fabric tho’
Thank you, as always, for your lovely observations and writing. I, too, am alarmed (and angry) that most folks are not following the CDC guidelines of wearing a face covering and social distancing.
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. .
I can relate to you more today than most days I can feel this in my bones the unknown This giant thing ready to snatch me up as it has many others I’m pretty healthy I love to work my little piece of land in Suburbia and I do mean little but if I go now I’ll just be another one that left in this time of quarantine of social distancing and I don’t want it to be like that I don’t have to worry about someone else running past me But if I’m out at the grocery and someone is passing too close I hold my breath and turn my head away as if that one breath will render me dead But maybe it can you know and that scares me I don’t understand how this can be but then I think it is someone’s fault In this age of technology can this really be? After all the movies have been made and watched over and over I don’t like this president and as easy as it is to blame I cannot for the life of me literally believe that all the people between him and I have not stood up for me us everyone I can’t believe we are in this position with all the sick dead here and everywhere dead and fighting this Great Interrupter I am angry this can happen to the people who fight this craziness and I can only say wow in our lifetime? So many dead
Yes it is hard to believe that is happening here.
Wonderful commentary. You put it so well and your choice to get some fiery tulips to evoke your emotions was a great choice to keep on pushing forward
Stay well
I am close to your age. There are many differences with our lifestyles. My husband and I are traveling the USA in our 40 ft RV. We have been to almost every state but we stay away from highly populated areas where people live like bees in a hive. I couldn’t imagine living like you do, with people so close together. Right now we are enjoying drinks by our campfire with our friends, there are about 15 of us. No social distancing, no masks. Of course, we’re in Wyoming but we’re enjoying a beautiful sunset without any worry about someone breathing on us.
I am so incredibly jealous of you right now!
I admire your thoughts and your strength and confidence too. You speak to my thoughts so it validates me. I love your style and how you express your passion in photography.
Today you like a painting…stunning. You and the colour, lines, shapes and overall mood. Thank you for being you.
Thanks
So powerful. Thank you. I miss NY but know that this is not the time. I am 56 and lucky to work from home way upstate. I have options to walk off the beaten path unmasked but have my mask ready. We need to protect each other. Be safe.
I so enjoy all your posts and save them in a folder to reread some from time-to-time.
Thank you!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels a sense of rage whenever people brush past me wearing no mask at all! On my daily walk I always wear my mask even though it is slightly uncomfortable. But I’d rather be uncomfortable than dead. I know I have a weak immune system and I also want to protect others, so I cover up. Like you, I’m looking for a designer mask to replace my sterile hospital blue one. I was wishing Louis Vuitton would design something, but it looks like I will have to find a knock-off fabric somewhere and get a seamstress to create one for me. Stay safe!
I saw someone who is making masks from the dust covers of high-end bags like Vuitton and Chanel.
So much truth here. And sadly, these young women won’t fully comprehend what you’e said, until they have been knocked in the head a few times by life. Seems there are no shortcuts to becoming wise(r). You just gotta get yourself burned. From that comes awareness and humility and a degree of acceptance of what is to come.
So true
So poignant.
Just turned 67 and confined to a small but jewel of a home that I increasingly want to escape. Relentless rain in Cincinnati today, a husband with Lewy Body disease, and a fiery Westie puppy+1 year, make me want to scream on the one hand and be so grateful on the other. Your post was about as real as it gets in my world. Thank you. Allowed me to turn a corner on a downer of a day.
Tomorrow!
Happy to hear that!
As a 60 year old nurse I am in total agreement with you. Generation X and millenniums were not raised the way we were. I think A big percentage of mothers of these generations work. Between work, after school activities, house work and cooking Mothers were/are fatigued. The education of common courtesy, like opening doors for the struggling mother with a stroller and not getting so close to someone in a pandemic who is higher risk that she can feel her breath; of course no mask. As a nurse I expected no less. I see it all the time, no common sense. I see the generations walk into a dr office where always there is a sign that says if you are coughing wear a mask. Suddenly when in the exam room the mask comes off because we know the medical assistant and the doctor are gods and immune to it all. My comment always was please keep your mask on until asked to remove. I and the doctor can get sick. One would think I had just slapped the person from the reaction I received. My children are not like this as I instilled what my mother instilled on me. I am grateful for them. They have mask I made them. They wear them. I hope things get better for you. I just wanted to let you know. “ I feel ya girl.”
Yes Sherry Turkle the MIT professor I spoke about in an earlier post has studied the impact of technology on younger generations. She found it interrupted the development of empathy. I think this is what we are seeing now, not being able to focus and really see.
May I ask who is The Great Interrupter?
It’s my nickname for the coronavirus.
This was absolutely beautifully written. I’m 63 and I feel as you do. Many blessings friend
Excellent post, Lyn! Echoes everything I feel about this difficult time, trying to keep myself, other half and elderly parents safe and reassured in a world which is no longer familiar. Feeling that on the rare times I go out for essentials that I am taking a chance against the invisible threat. Wishing I could escape back to our old life of only months ago – socialising with beloved family and friends and planning trips to New Orleans, UK and Malta – all recently cancelled.
Your experimentation with the camera is inspiring, and reminds me that I need to use the time spent wondering, ‘What is going to happen next? What can I do to make things better?’ to escape back into my writing or other creative outlets that relax and nurture me, and help me stay positive for everyone else.
Thank you for another relevant, honest and inspiring post.
I hope you feel safe on the promenade very soon and that your focus will be crystal clear.
Well you know me, I will absolutely be taking my place on the promenade!
I feel that rage you felt watching those young women passing by without masks on. Like you, my hair is gray (at least in the roots and that front section I grew out purposely last year) and long enough to wear in a ponytail if I so desire. I feel it is my right to expect others to care enough about themselves to not want to get sick or past a disease to others. Unfortunately, those youngsters still feel the thrall of their youthfulness and feeling of immortality, we all had at that age. Too bad we can’t have both the maturity to love ourselves and the external freshness of youth at the same time.
Well said. As a professor I always had high expectations for my students. Many times there were others who did not expect anything from them including doing the readings, etc. After a few grumpy weeks, they started to recall what it felt like to be smart, engaged and reciprocal and always gacve me the best evaluations at the end of the year. So I will continue to expect more.
To be somewhat fair, if they’re running, it’s incredibly difficult to do so wearing a mask. This isn’t to say that they shouldn’t be social distancing, however – they definitely should be! My running friends all talk about how they give walkers and other runners a wide berth when they’re out – it’s not impossible.
Hurrah on your photographic efforts! I most capture things with my iPhone, but I’ve made a real effort over the last year or two (coincidentally, since I became more active on Instagram) to really take my time with framing and composition. I’m enjoying the process, and the results.
So just to be fair, there were a great many other runners who had masks or bandannas around their neck and when they approached me they pulled them up. It was specifically those that did not even consider that compromise that I was objecting to. I run and do power walking and I don’t like to do it with a mask either so at times Iwhen no one is close I pull it down. There are always good compromises to be found if one cares to find them.
I am 65. I went out for a walk in a local park recently. I take pictures. I too was passed by runners, two young sisters who live in my condo. A rather porcine man on a bike brushed against my partner as we were walking home. He apologized without stopping. It felt like an assault. I live in a condo with 30 floors. The routine for going out is wearing gloves and a mask and carrying a spray bottle of 70 per cent alcohol. To press the down button for the elevator on my floor is nerve-wracking, even with a mask, gloves and alcohol. First, there is an elevator. Once I get in the elevator, I have to press the button for the lobby or basement. If anyone else tries to get on the elevator while I am headed to the lobby, I tell them the posted rule is one person to an elevator. The two runners tried to get on the elevator with me before I put my hand out and said I was a senior. They had neither masks nor gloves and would have been two feet from me. Do I feel safe in this place? No. I am considering using the stairwells exclusively. I will not be touching the railings. I agree the young ones are careless maskless and gloveless. They give me overly long vacant stares that barely conceal their smugness. You are not alone in trying to figure out how to live in this new Darwinian world. To pass the time I am cooking and painting . I am also rereading Daniel Defoe’s Journal of the Plague Year, which is eerily prescient
I must confess I live in a condo building to and have taken to using the stairs. I figure it’s good for my hips!
I want to yell at the people who walk along footpaths in pairs and who never move aside so that I have to go “off road” to maintain a healthy distance. Why is their conversation so much more important than noticing others around them and caring for others in their community? My greatest fear is that people will not learn from this experience and will just go back to ‘normal’ after iso is lifted. For me everything feels in sharper focus. Every small detail now more noticeable. The smile and acknowledgement of a stranger so much more comforting.
Agreed there is for me a heightened perception as well. Our reptilian brain kicking in.
What a breath of fresh air to read your writings. You give me so much food for thought.
Thank you.
Thank you for your musings. Your line “take your granddaughter on a trip to Paris” reminded me that this was what I planned five years ago, before my daughter divorced, when I could still afford it and we were not all confined to barracks. Because my daughter and grand-daughter live in New Zealand we have been reduced to seeing each other on Facetime. Recently my daughter rebuked me for demonstrating some black humour around death in a Facebook entry: I suggested that I might make my own Powerpoint presentation about my life that can be shown at my wake. Like you, I have made my peace with death but I have been self-isolating since February because, with COPD, I don’t want to accelerate the process. My greatest annoyances during this time have been not getting my nails done or my hair coloured and cut so that I can look forward to frocking up and going to the theatre. At 72, these are small pleasures but important for my self-esteem. Each day taken from us by the Great Interrupter is a day we will not get back when ours are already limited.
Tes and that is why we still need to live them as fully as we can. So yesterday I dressed up even though I did not want to.
Thank you for writing what I have been living and feeling. I found myself giving the “stink eye” to those carelessly running by oblivious to my health and well-being. I imagined the two signs I would carry: One I would hold up to thank those for wearing a mask. The other for those that deemed themselves exempt from any attempt to protect themselves and others. I crafted an entire variation of themes, but basically saying “I am wearing this mask to protect you. What are you doing for me?” And when the stink eye and mentally writing nasty sign language ruined my walks, I tried looking at each mask-less person and applied compassion by saying silently “May You Be Well.” Very Buddhist of me I know. And yet, the overriding feeling is “I want to live!” Now I zig-zag as best I can and hold my breath when someone runs or bikes so close to me I feel their breath just as you experienced. For those of us trying to stay alive, May We Be Well!
I want to live is right and the same resourcefulness we have applied to the rest of our lives we apply to this.
I understand your anger at the inconsiderate gal that just about ran over the top of you (virus or no she should not have gotten close enough for you to feel her breath). While none of us will live forever there is nothing wrong with conscientiously practicing self preservation techniques in the interest of good common sense. It’s just thoughtless when people don’t appear to be aware of their surroundings and how they impact others as a result. While you may not agree with others’ concerns it is just common courtesy to respect them nonetheless.
Exactly.
Yes. You have it exactly right. I am particularly taken with your description of how, (at 67) the feeling of wanting to go on living fully coexists with the acknowledgment that I am the age I am, that I am not young and not invulnerable.
It’s called being pragmatic realists!
I am 63, soon to be 64 and am so grateful I live in Western Australia where we have been hit but not so hard as New York. I was in NY in Dec/Jan, celebrating a friend’s milestone birthday and I look at the news now and cry to think of that amazing city so desolate. We too have the pony tailed, lycra clad lunatics here- insisting on their right to exercise with no masks and no thought to people like myself, walking our dogs and trying to get some fresh air without the fear of being struck down. You are an inspiration to us, the “invisible” ones who refuse to be invisible! My purple hair is a testament to that!!
Keep safe and well.
And now more than ever we need to make sure we are not pushed back “inside”
Boy, did your words resonate with me tonight. Just came in from a long evening walk, mostly head down, struggling internally with all the arguments in life today. I really have difficulty accepting the description placed on me as an at risk woman. Yes, I am over 65 (75 to be exact) but in very good health both physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am still very engaged in life and have every reason to continue that life. I don’t wish to be excluded because someone decided I am old and at risk. They need to get life. I have a beautiful one. Stop the noise.
Well you just said it all. I thought I had confronted all my concerns about age but this is putting it in my face again. I feel so grateful and think all the time of women my age who are not privileged in the ways I am. It’s time for another round of refusal!
At 73, I appreciate and share your opinions, thank you. Like you, I do not dwell on death and do not fear it. However, I do get angry at youth who are so sure they are indestructible, and who do not think or care that they are being careless not only with themselves, but for us, as well. How sad that they are so focused on their somewhat perfect lives that they have not a thought of the wisdom of older women around them, either family, friends, or strangers. I am glad you are writing and photographing again. You inspire and encourage, just by sharing your thoughts. Thank you for that!
Thank you, it’s really helping me process everything I an feeling during this time. Thanks to you for being a willing listener.
Thank you for your posts, your remarkable style, and your personal perspective (delivered of late with such vulnerability). My mother and I both follow you – she by email – this post was immediately sent to me, marked “must read” Mom is 84 and just home from the hospital for hip surgery. Having this post waiting in her inbox was such a treat!
Wishes to her for a speedy recovery.
Your words truly resonate for me. There’s a vulnerability that comes with this older-woman body, whether we like it or not. Do these women not see beyond stylish-while-aging? Do they not understand that growing older is a multi-faceted experience, and not all of it is fashion-related? Or pleasant? Or carefree? Will they look back at their thoughtlessness one day, 20 or 30 years from now, and suddenly mutter, “Oh, now I get it.” I, for one, hope enlightenment sets in long before that. End of rant.
That’s my goal, maybe it’s the professor in me but I still want to engage the generations after us into the conversation.
I assume that most of you are americans?
I want to assure you that “shit also happens” in Denmark.
It is not only young people who are inconsiderate, couples walking next to each other or dog walkers are generally taking up a lot of space.
I wish people would think of themselves as in a 3 dimensional space related to other people and not just themselves.
I realize that it is my fear of getting the virus that makes me a grumpy old lady (67) , so thank you for taking up the issue of that fear.
What?? All my idealist views of Demark are being dashed! Just kidding, I am a realist especially about human beings. I am going to think about how to style in a way that calls attention to my 3-dimensional space.
I am 69 and in this country all above 70 yrs are supposed to stay at home and get someone to do your shopping. These restrictions is going to change soon as it is evident that
many 70+ are fit and health and many of us work too. The ageism is always present. And so is the invisability.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights. I always read them in the morning before breakfast and newspapers. Agneta
When I turned 60 I started this project because I refused to be invisible and nothing is going to make me stay out of the world now either. I’m going out and I’ll figure out how to do it in a way that keeps me safe.
Lynne, I’ve just turned 70, and could completely relate to your running experience, even though I am in a rural area of the U.K. I, too still feel excited about clothes..today I’m intending to cull my wardrobe, I’ve ordered some Frida Kahlo material, the colours reminded me of your tulips, and the colours are so warm. I need to find the right sundress pattern to make the sun dress from this material….I’ve recently embraced grey hair..stopped the colouring, and with the right makeup I’m really embracing and enjoying grey. You have been the spark that has enabled me to enjoy the next phase of this exciting life. Thank you, and I wish you well in this age of the Great Interrupter !
Well done, Wish I could sew so I could make a sundress the color of the tulips perhaps that will be part of my next adventure.
From a 69 year old who still wants: “Because you will still wear beautiful clothes, take your granddaughter on a trip to Paris, have a lover, write a story, post on Instagram, walk in the sun, start a new career, pursue a long-deferred passion, have good friends and run along the river. You’ll feel you still deserve a place on the promenade. You’ll not want to stay inside. You are me and I am you except that I’m old. The Great Interrupter prefers me over you, it seems.” Thanks for these inspiring words and worlds!
Thank you, that’s my favorite part of what I wrote.
Well done for not sticking your leg out and tripping the jogger up! You could plead self defence ?
Lovely, thoughtful article and a good reminder of consideration towards others and always to be aware of your actions and how they impact on others.
Believe me I was restraining myself the entire way, that’s why I had to write about it. And I even waited a day or two to coll down!
Hi There,
I loved reading your post. First I wanted to deleat this mail before reading, because at the moment there is too much to read, to hear, to explain, to decide, to do in my life and I have to simplify my surrounding in every aspect. But your post felt like a wonderful talk with a good friend and I thank you for your thoughts!
Like you we still have to protect others and ourselfs here in Germany and sometimes I am shaking my head hearing some silly talks of business partners who are not willing to understand, that I prefer health than death! By the way I love your expression “The Great Interrupter”
I am pretty sure, that I won`t deleat your further mails! Take care – and if you should visit Germany one day – please do not hesitate…
Maria
I was there in December and enjoyed every moment of being there and so when I can, I will return.
I appreciate your thoughts . I love the word , The Great Interrupter. That really made me stop and think .
xo
It’s 7:30 AM ☕ here in Charleston, SC….the weather has been remarkable for week’s…
Thank you kindly for allowing me to ‘ Walk with You ‘ this morning as though we were ‘ Side by Side ‘..
I bless you throughout your New Day and look expectently to hearing another ‘ Episode ‘
One more thing….. I was you
7 year’s ago? I’m totally confident that when you become me 7 year’s from NOW you’ll be ‘Better’ than EVER!!
God’s Blessings ? on you and yours!!
Angel & my little buddy, Toby ?
Thank you so much.
I am enjoying your posts Lyn and am 61 living in Dublin Ireland however luckily I am cocooning in rural Co Kerry, my 70 Years young husband goes to the pharmacy and does the grocery shopping as I am living with a chronic life altering condition but despite this I am getting out in the fresh air and exploring country lanes which are people free and mostly traffic free so I feel privileged to be here yet hopefully will return to Dublin at the start of June as our lockdown restrictions have been relaxed somewhat, looking forward to seeing my two adult daughters and grandson Louis 3 years old and await our newest grandchild due in July. I will take on board your idea of taking my camera a Canon Eos everywhere which has been gathering dust for the last 6 months thank you for your uplifting observations and posts
It’s an interesting time to do some documenting. Have fun.
Thank you for addressing this no masking situation. I’m in my 60’s and feel more confused and angry than frightened by people not masking in public places. I see all ages here, and I feel as though we’ve all been to a different movie.
I just don’t get it. I hope this doesn’t become still another dividing situation, because all these different realities are just exhausting! But, my very concerned, caring and intelligent young and younger friends are still mostly isolating and wearing masks. Teachers working from home. We’ll see what the future brings. Try to create something lovely every day!
Yes and again I want to stress I was not meaning all young people. Just this group of young women. But it is like living in two parallel universes to live in this country right now.
Great photo of you and what good eyebrows you have! Covid 19 has brought on so many emotions for us all. I, too, get mad at the people who get too close and don’t wear masks. Then, I remember that this anger just hurts me. I let it go with thoughts of how I dismissed my mother and now I miss her. When I was young, like all youth, I took it for granted. Now that I am older, I have learned how important it is to look both ways, to do your best to eat right, to exercise your body and your brain everyday, to think of others with compassion and try to put that into practice. If only I would like these things and comply with the learning!
Writing helps me transform the anger so I can move past it or transform it into something creative. I felt enormously peaceful after taking the fiery tulip pictures and writing this post.
I only recently started following your blogs. I was thrilled to find that, besides gracing my television occasionally, you have taken on the role of icon with all of your might. I’m only a couple of years behind you (60) and my hair has only just begun to silver. (Thank goodness it’s silver and not dingy gray!) I’m not “privileged” as those you see around you, but I have my place in the world. I have forsaken makeup for years now, much to the chagrin of my mother and of my grandmother when she was alive, as well. Both of them have never been able to take out the trash without getting all dolled up and I never saw my mother in jeans until I was grown and gone. Mom still colors her hair, but my grandmother was glorious in her sparkling white hair. I also have ignored the common idea that older women should wear shorter hair. The heck with that! My hair is long and straight to my waist, and I like it like that – unfettered and uncolored, bits of that silver shining among the brunette majority. While I will never be sleek and amazing like you, I am happy with who I am and glad that, like you, I march to my own beat, rather than bowing down to grow old “gracefully” whatever that means.
Well said! I’m letting my hair grow long now too!
Welcome to the world of Leica and photography. I’m a Leica shooter too, came to this late in life via my fabric website as I do my own photography, started knowing nothing about it and have had such a marvelous journey seeing through the eye of the camera. Our lives have some similarity and often your thoughts and musings reflect my own, and I share your love of fashion as well as considering the deeper side. Please more photographs! This is kind of a crazy suggestion, but Leica offers amazing workshops, now offering them online via zoom. There is one starting this week you might be interested in on self portraits, think there are still openings. I’m enrolled, the group is small – I took one last weekend with Maggie Steber on Still Life, loved that. Here is the link to the Self Portrait workshop:
https://leicaakademieusa.com/product/exploring-self-portraits-may-2020/
One last word….always carry a camera! …and please keep doing what you are doing, your essence shines through and you speak through your platform for so many.
Warmest regards,
Marcy Tilton
Thank you for these wonderful suggestions. I will rely on you to keep sharing them.
Your experiences with the young runners sounds terrible! Where I live, in Tucson, AZ, overall I have not experienced that there is one age group who is inconsiderate in this way–in fact, most people are either wearing masks while out and about or making an effort to leave a LOT of space between themselves and everyone else. I actually am one of the latter–I am exerting myself too hard to get enough air while I run or do road cycling, and I am sweating profusely, making a mask very inefficient. HOWEVER, I go where I will see almost no other people on the side streets as I run (and can cross to the other side of the street if I do), or ride busy streets in the bike lanes, rather than using heavily traveled dedicated use paths. Honestly, when I was still using those, it was any and all ages of people who were not being careful with their social distancing/mask wearing. Very annoying. . .and scary. We don’t have a whole “exercise to be seen” culture in my smaller city, and perhaps that makes a difference.
I wish I had made it more clear, it was not young people as a whole i was talking about it was young women who share my positionality of being a white, educated woman. This made the betrayal feel even more intense as well as allowed me to feel entitled to call them out
I am a year behind you in age and equally disappointed, sometimes angry, at the young women and men running or walking by me with no mask. Some even laugh at mine. I became invisible around age 60, maybe before not realizing it. Its sad to feel disregarded or not scene. Wonder if I acted so disrespectfully when that age. I hope not.
I hear you!!
Annalie
Well when I turned 60 I started to feel invisible and my response was to refuse and that is how Accidental Icon was born. So I say we figure out a new creative way to respond to this disregard as well!
I love the fact that you have a lover at 67. I am 63 and have not had one for years. There is hope for me yet!
I enjoy reading your journals and this one really resonated with me. My lifestyle mirrors yours. I’m 64 years old and mindful when walking (also not too far, nowhere to pee). Living on the west coast in a densely populated urban area, one would think that wearing a mask would be the least one could do to protect others in the community but that hasn’t been the case. I ask myself is it a lack of self awareness or if they haven’t experienced suffering and loss? It’s with gratitude that I’m still here enjoying the beautiful outdoors (with mask) and mindful of how fortunate I am. Thank you for sharing, you’re an inspirational writer.
Perhaps that is the reasoning more experience needed.
I have also noticed many people not wearing masks. I walk around Tribecca, Soho and Two Bridges almost daily — these areas are deserted around 6 p.m. when I go out, and near where I live.
I had to get on the subway yesterday — there were three men singing gospel songs, no masks, it made me furious. But as a good New Yorker, I said nothing and moved as far as possible from their exhalations.
I think people wear masks to protect themselves — although the wearing of masks is to protect others against the mask wearer who might be asymptomatic. But it is hard to get people to do things to help others if isn’t self interest.
Our lives are very different now but we must protect ourselves if we are of any age, but especially those of us who are over 65. Stay safe and keep writing.
That I think is the realization that makes me saddest. Rather than coming together and healing our divisions, it’s every man for themselves so to speak.
I have experienced the same thing……people jogging or cycling by without a care in the world and coming too close to me. The feeling is a mixture of things. I am surprised at the seeming selfishness of people who have not a care in the world, that is until they get sick and have an epiphany. My walks now are a lot more cautious because of this. Had a nice visit with my neighbor and her new pup, as we sat safely apart but still able to have a social time. The thoughtfulness you speak of is not just women, it is men too. In spite of this I remain hopeful that humanity may evolve just a little in a better direction.
I am trying to find a solution that does not result in my marginalization!
I sense some of those young ones feel they are invincible, are a bit self absorbed and will never grow old.
Sad because there are many other young people who do the right thing and are not represented by this group.
“Youth is wasted on the young” indeed
Fortunately, I saw many young people being respectful, it was just this particular group and I felt fine calling them out because they share my positionality of privileged white women.
I am so sorry you had this experience, it is so both disappointing and rage inducing- it’s hard to know who to articulate this to. I vacillate between trying to be understanding and wanting to scream at those who dismiss my validity as a human being in the pursuit of their own need for personal freedom. One day they may understand, but I will unfortunately not be around to see it. In the meantime, finding creative ways of expressing our anger is the most healthy route and I commend you for it! Thankyou for sharing.
Thank you and I know that by giving it expression it will transform into something positive and creative.
Love reading your missives… you have become quit the writer……
I hope to meet you in the City for lunch…. and maybe dinner as we catch up…. keep doing what you are doing.
Thank you from me to you..
Sounds like a plan, can’t wait!
Thank you for writing this article. I am so saddened by the number of people here in Maine who have swallowed the Faux News conspiracy crap and refuse to wear face coverings, protest to have our beautiful state reopen sooner rather safely later, and compare our country during a pandemic to living in a communist country. Sigh. The ignorance is disconcerting. Stay safe.
I find all of this very distressing. Especially because you don’t need to keep a mask on all the time, you can use any kind of face covering. It’s no big thing! I can understand people’s panic about not working and wanting to open up I can really feel that but the mask thing is really beyond me. Perhaps it’s more immediate because I live in New York where so many people have died.
I wear a mask ALL DAY at work ! I’m 68 .. I’m not buying the BS that this piece of fabric is going to SAVE ME or anyone ! I’ll take the information given out immediately that a mask will NOT prevent you from the virus .. it will only help prevent a person WITH SYMPTOMS passing them along !
I’m tired of walking on my 8 foot wide walking trail & folks with a mask on (buying into the BS) almost fall over trying to step off path … I tell them to STAY HOME if there that fearful ?… I’m living my LIFE without a MASK is the great outdoors!! Can’t wait for people to WAKE UP & see what is really going on! FREEDOM
I’m 56 fit healthy and active, however, l no longer take my health for granted. I have been annoyed at the cavalier response of some young people to Covid19. They may be young and healthy but they can unknowingly spread this virus with their lack of care.
Let’s hope some of these inconsiderate young women can draw an inspiration of respect from your post and let go of their selfishness because that is what it is.
I live in Melbourne and maybe I’m just being optimistic but I really feel we are actually being nicer to on another around my neighbourhood (Richmond), more patient in queues, quick to step aside and make room and very aware of social distancing. It has pleasantly surprised me in our bustling city.
Yes I want to stress that many people here are wearing masks and being respectful, including many I passed that day. I was just struck by who it was as they were young white women. Not young men and not younger women of color. That’s why I felt so free to engage in my anger.It’s my privileged group just younger.
I like that–finding the focus. I too feel a bit out of focus, blurry from too much to take in and needing to find that one thing on which to focus. Life is precious and moving quickly. Lets stop and breathe, yes? Thanks.
Yes, sounds good!
This was so eloquently written.
I love all your blogs and posts.
Thank you.
I can sympathize with how frightening it is to have people deliberately come close to you. Where I live I can bicycle at dusk and am experienced and equipped to ride in the dark to avoid contact. Have you considered using an umbrella? Preferably full sized with pointed end to claim space you deserve!
I’m 70 and think many younger people just view me as old and in the way even though I’m an endurance cyclist and can do a 375 mile bike ride in less than 40 hours. My fellow cyclists do not make me feel this way.
Unfortunately, many more younger persons today feel they are immune from aging. Take care and carry on.
Yes and perhaps this is time to engage them as the solutions we are going to need to respond to this time are going to have to be intergenerational and interdisciplinary.
Thank you. Putting my thoughts into words. I just turned 69 in April and i realized I’m really getting older but not old yet. I just laugh at the young girls on youtube, they have no idea that in a blink of an eye you are old. I just laugh and smile. I know so much more than you?
I wish there was a way to engage them, as they push us away because of fears, many of which we could help them deconstruct and put into perspective.
I am experiencing the same here in the UK. At 65, I consider myself to be “in the departure lounge of life” as the wonderful Robin Day one wrote. Not only that, but the destination is flashing on the information board. I go by the mantra that I woke up this morning and the sun is shining. It is hard to stay focused in these unsettling times and the 24 hour tv coverage of the pandemic just adds to the uncertainty and confusion. Who knows what is the best thing to do? I shall continue to wear a mask (I have made several from vintage Liberty print fabrics to match my outfits and earrings) and cotton gloves despite the fact that, according to a group of young guys yesterday, I “look like Michael f…..ing Jackson”.
Please keep writing your wonderful articles, I look forward to reading them so much.
Next time some moron says something like “you look like Michael f*cking Jackson”, maybe you could reply with something like “how odd that you felt a need to point that out”. Or perhaps “ok…so what?”. Give them something to think about rather than just ‘taking it’. CHEERS
I think there is an art to crafting a response that is elegant and dignified but just shuts the mouth of everyione around.
and you please keep wearing your fabulous masks and gloves!
Hi Lyn,
When I read your piece, I feel your anger and frustration. Some people, no matter their age, are denying the seriousness and reality of covid19. Perhaps they feel invincible, untouchable. I am not sure. I share your frustration and anger. I agree with the reader who stated that we need to find healthy outlets for our anger. I like to focus on the helpers. If I can find a way to help others in the midst of this crisis, I feel better about myself and humanity as a whole. Sometimes people have to learn their own lessons in life and no matter what I do, it will not change their behavior. Perhaps they need a major crisis or emotional epiphany to change their behavior. They need to be hit upside the head, so to speak. When these people are affected personally by the virus, maybe their attitude and behavior will change. I can only control myself. I cannot change another person’s behavior. I can use this time to become bitter or to become better. I can choose how I respond to this moment in time. I am choosing to become better. I have a choice in each moment. I will wear a mask, and social distance. I am 62 and retired. I enjoy your writing, Lyn. Thank you.
Thank you. I am having similar feelings to those I had seven years ago when I first acknowledged I was getting older and started to feel invisible. I responded to those feelings then by starting Accidental Icon. So now I will see what my creative response to this time will be. I am certain I will have one!
I really like how you captured your hair’s movement in this photo. Looking forward to seeing more of your work with your new camera!
I have avoided going to certain public places for years because for some reason people’s behavior in those places is rude, thoughtless, and just plain ignorant.
If possible I go when those places are empty or I simply find alternative places.
Remember Tawanda from Fried Green Tomatoes? I am far more outspoken now when I do encounter deficient social behavior. I am a proud Joan Ranger, a Dorothy Parker wannabe, and I have fabulous face masks that say I care about others as well as myself.
Yeah, folks may write me off as a loonie old lady. ‘Deal with it.’ I probably would not have wanted to get anywhere near those folks ever, COVID or not.
The sadness is we are just talking about common courtesy and respect for other human beings.
This bit of writing was so authentically voiced. I really relate. From the comments, it sounds as if many of us do. It is good to be in the company of the elders.
Re: those young women who say they want to be us when they get old. As a breast cancer survivor, something I know is that maybe they will, maybe they won’t. Survival isn’t contingent on style and/or eccentric practices. Exercise and diet are not illness armor. The young jogger women don’t know that their body is a circus, that you can weigh 112 pounds your whole life, be a vegetarian since 1973, a non-smoker, a swimmer and long distance walker, yet still, at age 45, roll over in bed one morning less than three months after a yearly mammogram, and feel a lump in your breast.
What it seems these young women admire is how we relish life. What they don’t understand, but that many of us commenters do, is that relishing is the result of suffering, of loss, of the accretion of many varieties of grief. If they survive, they’ll learn.
In the meantime, you do look divine with those tulips. And I’m wearing my rhododendron pink dress again today 🙂
Profoundly stated and profoundly true.
An engaging thoughtful piece that makes me think. Thank you
I live on an island off the eastern coast of the US. It is a BIG vacation destination which is usually not a problem. We, as locals, know that tourism is our industry and appreciate (and need) the money that visitors spend here. However, this past week we have seen huge crowds on the beach, at pools and restaurants and literally NO MASKS! It makes me feel as if I am being held hostage in my own community because visitors are not masking or distancing. I do and it gets harder and harder due to the amount of people who aren’t. I heard someone say “It’s great to be away from the pandemic.” NO! The pandemic is here and everywhere. PLEASE PLEASE mask.
I live on an island off the eastern coast of the US. It is a BIG vacation destination which is usually not a problem. We, as locals, know that tourism is our industry and appreciate (and need) the money that visitors spend here. However, this past week we have seen huge crowds on the beach, at pools and restaurants and literally NO MASKS! It makes me feel as if I am being held hostage in my own community because visitors are not masking or distancing. I do and it gets harder and harder due to the amount of people who aren’t. I heard someone say “It’s great to be away from the pandemic.” NO! The pandemic is here and everywhere. PLEASE PLEASE mask.
I hope I have not missed the reply boat. As always…great post. I understood and loved every word you used.
And I have to say, I adore your writing. It has an easy flow about it and your voice so clearly matches the you that we see and follow. Bravo.
Now, the girls! Yup, I hear it from my friend living in Italy, another in Brentwood, CA, and a third in Uruguay. It seems selfish has no language barrier. I do have to say here in Cuenca, Ecuador, when the University held a protest two weeks ago, the photos showed almost all the ‘kids’ had on masks. Good for them.
thanks again for the post
Thank you for your post. I’m 69, and when taking a daily walk in Virginia, I’ve noticed a lot of walkers and joggers sans masks, some of whom share a very narrow pavement with me. I’ve also noted a large number of young men who don’t wear masks. In my neck of the woods, some of this behavior can be attributed to not believing the pandemic is a serious threat. I’m a retired academic, and think the pandemic deniers is evidence of the failure of a lot of our social structures, including our educational systems.
HERE IN CALIFORNIA TOO THE YOUNG THINGS = NO MASKS!
I do not get out much as I would have to drive to walk and that makes NO SENSE to me except I have got to do something!AFter 3 months of inside THE BODY IS FEELING WEEK AND SORE from SITTING!I have gotten a lot of reading DONE which I love!I am lucky enough to have a GARDEN!PLUS< the pig and dog and cat and loads of chickens so they make me smile!
I AM RECEIVING YOUR EMAILS NOW AND WILL LOOK FORWARD TO COMMENTING!
YIPPY!
I am loving the “GO DADDY” commercial you have done!
Those clothes?
Was wondering if they used your voice?
Yes, it’s my voice.