Last week the Accidental Icon Project turned seven. I can’t help but think of the term “seven-year itch” because I have one. The term, introduced in 1955 when I was two, came from a film based on a play starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell. In keeping with my moniker, it contained perhaps the most iconic scene ever delivered by Marilyn Monroe; her standing over a subway grate her white dress blown upward by a passing train. The film is the story of a middle-aged man having fantasies of an extra-marital affair with a younger woman to relieve the boredom of a monogamous relationship. It reveals the pleasure derived from flights of fancy, but also the guilt involved in the contemplation of transgression.
The Urban Dictionary describes the seven-year itch as, “The common time period where the desirable, or sometimes undesirable, urge to change comes about.” Here we’ve always called it the “What Now?” This desire to change at fairly frequent intervals has alternatively been labeled by society as pathological (during my early life where long term stable work situations and interpersonal relationships were the hallmarks of a psychologically healthy person and instability named borderline personality disorder) to now where constant change is the norm whether that be in the work you do, how you perceive your gender and the way technology creates new things at astounding speed. Common knowledge suggests the need for a dramatic change in life comes about every 5-7 years or used to; perhaps this is no longer a relevant marker given the speed we travel at today. If I look at how my life has developed, the itch usually begins at the 5-year mark and I spend the rest of the time being uncomfortable with its nagging and then find a way to soothe it. This current itch probably began 2 years ago and intensified to an almost unbearable level during the Great Interruptor.
I change where I live (a hands-down favorite dramatic change), go back and forth to school (collecting 2 masters, a Ph.D., and many continuing education credits along the way). I think the best thing about being a social worker is that as a profession it accommodates an endless change in role and in the systems and spaces where you can work. I’ve been an administrator, a clinician, a trainer, a consultant, a community organizer, a policy advocate, an expert witness, a supervisor, a field instructor, and a professor. I’ve worked in residential facilities for adolescents, jails, private practice offices, law firms, community-based organizations, family and criminal courts. I’ve used theater and art to do my “social work” as well as evidence-based interventions. The constant for 38 years has been my daughter, my immediate family and Calvin has already broken my romantic partner record coming in at 22 years and counting. My new constant is the first home that we own; we’ve committed to constant after years of renting to make the seven-year itch more easily scratched.
Seven years ago, while very itchy indeed, I started, though I still maintain accidentally, a successful social media enterprise for which I have earned more than I did as a social worker and professor, which says something sad about what we value. During the last seven years, featured in fashion magazines, news programs, commercials, and music videos I’ve traveled to China, Japan, Spain, Great Britain, Portugal, France, Netherlands, Iceland, Germany, and Switzerland. I am grateful, as this project has allowed me to save, making retirement a little more comfortable than it would have been if I remained working only as a social worker. If I’m like my almost 95-year-old mother (who I resemble in many other ways), I still have a lot of years ahead to fund. I got to travel in ways I never could have afforded.
It seems fitting as I reflect on what I wrote today that it is being written on Labor Day. The day where my country celebrates the achievement of its workers. Work has always provided the context through which I construct my identity. It’s always a challenge to de-couple this. When I’ve remained in a job for long periods of time, including my last 20-year stint as a professor, it provides a container for how to structure the tasks I must do every day, the people who become my friends and closest relationships, what I wear, how I travel to and from and provides an endless stream of new experiences and challenges. It provides a center when everything else around me does not hold. I’ve been unmoored since I stopped being a professor and the context in which I performed as Accidental Icon was abruptly interrupted by forces that were out of my control. The structure of weekend shoots with Calvin, the steady influx of opportunities to travel, meet new people, get dressed in endlessly new outfits, and have experiences I’ve never had before, has slowly disappeared like a burst of air rising from a subway grate, revealing something glorious for a moment and then passing by like the train that created it.
Yet considering all that has occurred during the last almost two years and keeps relentlessly occurring, I found I’ve lost the edge that has always been the hallmark of this persona I have created. I’ve become vulnerable; softer and more rounded in how I show myself on these platforms now. Sharp edges feel dangerous; like they will cut me and I will bleed. They surround me like a cave of long shards of stalactites. They are floods and fires, guns carried in the street masks unworn despite the risk to your fellow humans, death and disability, neighbors being paid to report you, or anyone who helps you, for a decision made in the most desperate of moments for a woman. It’s a powerful time of reckoning. Nature and what it means to be human, to are as a human, is holding our feet to the fire; literally and figuratively. It’s a time that calls for bravery in severing the relationships, the value systems, and resources that don’t acknowledge the gravity of where we are right now. I struggle with the implications of making this transgression against the systems that have rewarded me so generously these last seven years. While I may not feel edgy, I feel strong. What does this mean for how I will labor now?
My “itches” have always resulted in a re-invention and involve constant recycling of the knowledge, values, behaviors and experiences I have cultivated throughout the life I lived until the current moment. I try to think about what this time in history calls me to do. One benefit we have as we contemplate the questions of “What Now?” and “How to Be Old” is the vast pile of resources collected when one lives for a long time (the neutral, societally uncluttered dictionary definition of old). When we focus on this plethora of riches, rather than on what we may lose, or have lost, we can open ourselves up to endless inspiration when we ask ourselves the question, “How will I labor?”
I’m making a list of all the knowledge, behaviors, and experiences I have collected during the past seven years. What needs to be different is the lens through which I view them. This has been unsettling to me. During the last two years, as I experience the itch yet again and figure out what balm I need to soothe it, values and purpose have been on top of my mind. Perhaps I’ve re-discovered the ones that are important to me that got set on the back burner while a gourmet meal was cooking on the front; writing and expressing my creativity in the service of something more. As I sift through all the literal and figurative clothes I’ve collected, souvenirs from my travels, and what I do to sustain it through various value lenses, I am reminded of the experience of securing a new prescription for your glasses; the back and forth of the changing lens that makes your vision more blurry or clear. The value of care for people, the planet, and the community seem to be the one that provides the greatest clarity.
This week is NYFW as it was seven years ago when I waited on the Plaza at Lincoln Center for a friend and was christened the “Accidental Icon.” I had no notion of what would happen to me, no expectations of what could happen when I accepted the name. This fashion week I feel once again like an outsider looking in as I did then. This year I’ll be having a tiny dose of events and shows, just enough to provide a little excitement, break from my routine and see friends I haven’t seen now for two years. This week my agent sent out my book proposal. Once again, I do not know what will happen, no expectations, just throwing something into the universe again to see where it lands. Perhaps if luck is with me, like it was then, I will find some direction in how I will labor.
I heard a wonderful quote during my London Writers Salon session Monday, Labor Day. By Amie McNee, the words that I wrote in my journal are, “Create to connect to those who need you.” Creating is not a sport, it shouldn’t be about competition, which, when done on Instagram, it quickly becomes. So dear readers, part of figuring out what that means for me is asking how what I can create could be of use to you, as I also ask that question of the earth and my new local community. So this week I leave you with two questions:
“What can I create for you that will make you feel connected?” and “How are you thinking about your labor?”
I would love it if you could write about what to do when you feel “stuck”.
I am writing about it! I write and reach out to others, you are all helping me!
Lyn, I have always appreciated your reflections on how to age uniquely and the evolution of how life calls you to live by your values and with purpose. I admit your style continues to intrigue and inspire. What would make me feel connected is going deep with the questions you raise about what matters now, and how do we decide to live now that the Great Interruptor has revealed that there’s much our society must reckon with, repair, and transform. Lifestyle decisions are part of that as we navigate the fragility of our lives on this beautiful planet that gives us life.
A perfect road map for the focus of writing, thank you!
Creatives like you must stand alone. As soon as you beat to others needs/ideas of what you “should” do , the extraordinaire is gone. Interesting read “Braving the Wilderness” by Brene Brown
Thank you.
This piece was a creation of yours that I needed. It touched on so much of the discomfort (though, not a strong enough word) and emotion that the turmoil in the world has produced in my mind, and my soul. Thank you. With the mention of a book, and the direction this writing seemed to take, I hope that you’re feeling the itch to continue on this path with the power of your words to scratch our collective needs.
With comments like this I become even more compelled to keep writing.
Hello! I really appreciate this post . Your words resonate with what I am going through about work and asking what’s next. You inspire me regarding being or having been a social worker and having several degrees, traveling and of course your fashion sense which I don’t have at all, but I too am really feeling the itch to change. I’m just not sure how. I did start writing on Medium recently. That seems like a bridge somehow. I’ve never commented before, but Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. It helps.
Thank you, I’ve been thinking of Medium too but am trying to focus on the blog and this project. Let me know how your experience is.
Wonderful post. It is creation. And it helps.
Thanks, knowing this helps make me determined to keep on with the process.
What I want from you is simply more of THIS! Loved this post as always. Provocative, contemplative and so deliciously written. I turn each sentence over in my mind like I might a bite of a delicious mound of food, letting it coat my senses in it’s vast variety of sensations before ingesting it fully to become a part of me. I appreciate this aspect of your work deeply. Please don’t stop!
I am working to re-claim/re-learn Esperanto. I had studied and somewhat mastered it almost 4 decades ago and recently I decided I needed it back in my life. I want to read experiences from people around the world directly and intimately. I have become increasingly unimpressed with English/western based translations and interpretations of what is happening in other countries around the world.
I am also in the middle of performing the needed task of tossing things I not longer need or want. I keep thinking about my poor partner of 31 years having to cope with all my sundries if I should die quickly before him. It’s unfair to burden those left with stuff we had no use for when we were alive 🙂 So every day I go through the apartment and grab a thing here and there that I’m not using or interested in. Those are my recent labours and I expect they will occupy a slice of daily duties among others for the next year or two.
What a beautiful way of expressing yourself. As always the comments from my readers provide motivation and inspirtation. What a very thoughtful gesture to make on behalf of your partner. Food for thought.
I accidentally sent the wrong e-mail address. I’m sending the new one now.
We are the same age. I don’t have a public persona, but I do have many of the same thoughts and questions about what is next for me. The pandemic just gave me time to really focus on the dilemma. Please keep on writing about those inner most thoughts. I find it helpful.
Thank you I will and keep commenting as that also provides direction.
Greetings, …Your journey has kept me company for the past few years. We’re a year apart in age but you are worlds ahead of me in education and accomplishment.
While watching the Accidental Icon blossom, I have felt valued, encouraged, and enlightened.
Thank you for your insight, courage, and delightful sense of humor.
Wishing you the very best always❤️??
You made my day and gave me lots of motivation.
So much of what you wrote resonates with me. Especially the itch I’ve known for the last 15 years (when I quit corporate life) that I wanted to work to heal people and thereby better the community and some part of the world. This past year and a half has caused a halt and reconsideration. Now I’m ready to get back out there but not sure how. Moderating an online “brainstorming “ session(s) with a group of us would be so helpful. Also keep writing and sharing and venturing forward.
Thank you for the great suggestion I am liking the idea of moderating a space for brainstorming.
My dear,
I found this so profound, and so beautiful. The depth and richness of your message means a lot to me, as I am constantly pondering these days “how to be old”.
You sharing the adventure and the stillness in this experience is inspiring and I thank you for that.
I too would like my endeavors to connect and help on a larger scale, and I can’t wait for your book to be published!
Best wishes and deep gratitude,
Michele
Thank you. I’ve been wondering how to make space for older women who want to connect and make a change. we need to keep talking here.
Thank you as always for your erudite musings. I read each one which is praise indeed. I eschew subscriptions in general but cleave to those that stir up my musings, encourage growth based on growth and learning, knowing nothing is ever wasted. Creating yourself is what inspires me to create me! 2. How I think about labour now – as I head into my 60s is as love – I revel and enjoy the eclectic nature of all that I love. Not everything I love is effortless – growing in particular has its gnarly bits. I feel grateful to be living a life immersed in my number one pleasure – imagination and working with others to harness and master their imaginations.
Thank you for the lovely comment. I’m curious to hear more about what you do.
My labor has changed dramatically in the past two weeks. My husband and I are lucky to have own townhouse rental that was vacant. We are now hosting a family of five SIV holders from Afghanistan. A mom and dad . Three kids under five. They are shell shocked, yet proud and humble at the same time. I have been dabbling in the social media “wastelands” for the past year , my message: I am an older woman and want to the world to know that we seniors are still very visible and valuable @theunexpectedsomeone, but now my other labor is to assist our new family and hopefully watch the little ones grow up in a world free from the Taliban . These kids need to have a healthy planet on which to flourish . If I am going to spend any time on social media it will be mostly spent promoting style but with a true commitment to sustainability .
What I value from you is your creativity. Sometimes I feel like I am listening to you free -associate . I love it ;I was an analysand for 7 years!
Congratulations, what a wonderful thing you are doing. Your comment brings a smile, when I was in analysis I found it difficult to free associate; never one to give over control to someone else!
I am unsubscribing. The mask unworn comment is a lecture I do not want to hear. I live in Texas, a free state. Good luck to those in the communist republic of New York.
So sorry we cannot respectfully disagree. we could have had a conversation, one I am open to having about how you came to your beliefs and why they are important to you. This inability to show compassion or empathy for those who might think differently than we do without name-calling is what will be our ruin. Since you used the word “free” I suggest reading Maggie Nelson’s new book On Freedom where she allows this in-between space to exist. Nothing in life is either/or.
Continue on your path and expose the new old age, which I call “people on the planet longer.”
Creative fields allow us to age in place and is one of the few practices that is less ageist. As an artist I see an endless adventure that I refuse to be changed by age.
I love this because the dictionary definition of old is simply “having lived a long time” a fact. Culture has imbued the word with negativity. Yes that is the expose I will be happy to investigate and write about.
With this, you have created something of value that connects me & resonates with me. Thank you.
I am rethinking my labor as many are in this astounding time. I love your thought. Create for those who need us. Yes.
Thank you!
I enjoy the reflections of your blog. I too feel this is a time of great change. I feel that knowing that someone else is thinking about these things and what the future looks like helps me feel less alone.
My labor feels in turmoil for me. Change has always been hard for me and my work group has gone through a lot of change in the last year.. I feel like I no longer fit. This is a very new situation but very unsettling. I feel that I either need to reinvent or move on. Moving on is difficult when you are close to retirement. It saddens me that it feels as if age is a factor but yet my mind still feels like I’m 30.
Thank you for these reflections I think many people are re-examining their life. This column is inspiring.
This is a very good topic for us to lean into here: how to bridge the gap to retirement when you are not quite there yet, or perhaps taking a risk in the service of being happy. Many of us are in the same space so sharing here will be a great support, including for me.
As someone who is looking at “What’s next after being a social work professor”, I found this so helpful. It made me feel connected in a powerful way. It gives me hope that the life journey will provide other opportunities that matter. You matter now. I will matter again. Thank you.
You always matter and I know that you will find something that is creative and of use. Excited to see what you come up with.
I am in the midst of a huge life transition. This inspired me in so many ways as I contemplate what’s next.
Good luck! Let’s share about our processes here as many of us seem to be at the same point.
Personal experiences on overcoming obstacles. Are there thought processes you lean on to decide wat is the best direction? Remember a time when you did not have it all and then tell us how you made opportunities for yourself. Today’s blog was a start. Can you provide inspiration for those of us who have not yet arrived at a comfortable way of life? Thank you for being there. Love this blog.
I will certainly share my process as my blog and the women who so thoughtfully comment on it are what inspires me more than anything else.
At 58, I’ve gone from professor to administer. Like the old George Jones song, I’m not ready for the rocking chair just yet. I’ve become more discerning with age and the pandemic experience to see and do what I really value and to disregard the white noise of others’ expectations. Please keep sharing your journey with us. I’d love a Zoom group that could share how they’re navigating this surprisingly fertile and creative time in life.
Thank you for that suggestion. It’s so wonderful to have the company of other discerning women during this time of reflection and change.
You, my Dear, just answered your own question. You articulated “the in between” in a way that profoundly resonates with my own personal reflections of late, and that in and of itself is a connecting point … albeit virtual. As for your second question about livelihood – three words: passive income stream. I have discovered that the value of being “free just to be” is paramount at this stage of my life. So putting financial or whatever other resources you have available to you, to work on your behalf to generate income without much energy, can free the creative juices to flow without the complication of renumeration. Examples might include renting something out, investing in annuities, and/or selling pre-recorded online programs. Slightly less passive incomes might include serving as a mentor or consultant or selling swag online that align with your book or your brand. You are a beautiful writer whose depth contributes an essential voice for women who can’t articulate what they are feeling. It dawns on me as I write this that all of the kudos you have received as a result of your blog posts should accompany your manuscript so that publishers can see how your words are touching a generation of rogue matriarchs. Here’s to your softening! It fits you like a glove!
Thank you so much for sharing what you did about my writing. and that is of how I might be of use; “provide an essential voice for women who can’t articulate what they are feeling, I’m curious what topics for an online course,
I really enjoy your writing.
One observation I’ve had as I approach my sixties is an interest in learning how to share more of my thoughts.
I’ve often swallowed my own differing opinions due to some social code that doesn’t seem to apply universally eg i hear other cultures are more frank than ours in North America, and even where I live, some people especially men seem unfettered in what they say. I live in canada where niceness is king, er, queen.
I’d love to read your thoughts on this topic.
I love this suggestion and it’s very important as I believe it’s connected to the invisibility question that emerges for women as we age. Stay tuned
First your thoughts and reflections have been and continue to be most welcome and helpful.
The support you all offer and the issues you all bring up is supportive and inclusive. Writing my thoughts is difficult. Change is all around in my life. And living thru challenging times is impowering and I find it important to know what others are feeling. It’s a form of togetherness. Until next time
Yes and that to me is the value-added of this blog, the thoughts of so many in the comments,
Some answers to your question from my current self:
Pieces like this resonate with me. Deeply. And amplify my own current thoughts. That offers a kind of validation, but also a bit of connection, community, albeit virtual, which strengthens me in, as Rilke wrote, to “live the questions.” In a deep and consistent way. (But of course that doesn’t eliminate my love of clothes, and other more trivial things!).
My labor.
Well, i uprooted my entire life nearly a year ago. Necessity was a large part of it (Covid closed most of the galleries that sold my work), but I was ready, although I didn’t know how ready at the time. I closed my business, sold my home and studio and either sold, gave away, or donated nearly everything I owned. That was very hard, but as I practiced faith and letting go, I felt more and more free. Grief in the letting go, and emerging curiosity about the next life I was about to begin. I had all the pieces in place to move to a more affordable life in Mexico. And apartment rented, flights booked, baggage service contracted. But over the course of a weekend, I did an about face. I bought a very small RV. The size of a Sprinter van. I let go of even more possessions, down to the most basic. I used to have large closets full of clothes I loved, and now I have a very small cupboard. All the “special things” I’d saved from past generations (why are we compelled to keep things that long dead relatives valued?). Went to my yard sale. And suddenly they were just “stuff.”
Now I live and travel full time in my van. I got a beloved Maine Coon kitten, and we are partners on the road.
I am going to need to earn some money for my new life, and I decided to make hand painted wraps, shawls, and scarves. Abstract landscapes reflecting the amazing places I am living for a week or two at a time (I go “off grid” and am not living in those RV parking lots that many people call campgrounds). So, after a year of this life, during which I’ve spent all of my time with the sole company of my kitty, simply sitting, walking, preparing simple meals…. I’m ready to play with materials again. But not, never again at the demanding level of production I was at before. I’ve also had many different phases: server, aerobics instructor, social worker, therapist, owner of a clinic for massively obese people, 3 degrees (cultural anthropology was my favorite, by far), a musician, then most recently a “maker of pretty things” which was my time of being a production artist.
Since I departed from Seattle in my little van I’ve shed layer upon layer, upon layer of stress, anxiety, and my attachment to my past “identities”. I find myself with a little smile on my face most of the time. I’m so very surprised by how happy I am now, in my new life as a nomad. How that will translate into my new labor remains to be seen. I relish, most of the time, living that question. And present is also: how might I be of service. I’m letting myself be curious about how these new, and yet unknown glimmers might suggest I follow them.
What an incredibly powerful story. How brave, how creative, how life-giving! Please keep sharing your amazing adventure. I am in awe of your strength.
Simply…. thank you!
My pleasure
I can remember so clearly the day I felt the most connected to you. You wrote a blog about ethical fashion. It highlighted how the quest to be fashionable and glamorous takes a toll on the planet as well as contributes to the suffering of people. I grew up fascinated with thrift stores and if I had a zillion dollars today, I could still be found perusing through the purgatory of human materialism finding treasures to redesign. In your post you dispelled the often snobby and expensive demands of being a fashion icon. It struck me at that moment you were so many levels deeper than that and so many levels higher, all at once. It elevated me.
If I have anything to do with elevating a woman, I would be proud and happy, thank you!
You just did. What an absolutely wonderful blog! I had no idea how much in common we have. I’ve been practicing family law for almost 22 years now, and it was a only slight twist of fate that I did not go to get my masters in social work. I have completed some post graduate courses toward an LFMT degree. I truly hope that you get that book deal; I would buy it in a heartbeat. If it is anything like this blog, then it will be a rich tapestry of relatable experiences, and written very well! I have forwarded this blog to both my sister and my daughter because I know they will benefit from its wisdom. My own take away this morning is that life is evolving, and we don’t necessarily have to stay where we are, given an itch. Do I have an itch? That is a very wonderful question to ask, and one that the great interruptor seems to have cut off for so many. Why am I not asking that question? Why was I thinking like that? At 57, I see that I too still have the opportunity to develop my own rich tapestry. Thank you for awakening the accidental philosopher in me!!!!
I love this and I love that the accidental philosopher is awaking. Looking forward to seeing more of your wisdom in the comments,
This resonates. You have the ability to reach a lot of people and create magic. Hope you will share the responses
That’s what I love about this blog, its not just my writing but the comments are always beautiful to read as well.
Very much enjoying seeing how your writing is progressing. So much clarity in expression the inner self.
Thank you it’s a work in progress.
You’ve changed my life w/ P.Volve.
I ask or expect nothing more from you but fabulous fashion and your skill for entertaining me with your writing.
Thank you, I will continue to present both.
Im literally creating cross-stitch artworks for my friends and family. It’s something I loved doing as a child and the extra time at home in lockdown is providing an opportunity to reconnect to the past and create objects to be enjoyed in the future.
Lovely sentiment,
Dear lovely one,
I have been reading your blog ever since it began and have enjoyed the articulation and musings of someone who has a good heart and intentions to make a difference.
I feel that you have you have the ability to be the equivalent of David Attenborough in the sense of trying to save the planet, but in the world of fashion and the incredible damage that it is wreaking on the planet.
For me, and every other human being, the planet and all living organisms, I need you to work with your wonderful words and mature presence to make the clothes making industry change their focus from money making to saving the planet.
Don’t be overwhelmed, your strength, maturity, presence, knowledge and contacts can make a difference for everyone.
I, personally , am on a journey of connecting with family, friends and community to make the many changes in our lifestyle that need to be made and to educate our young ones to make a difference in saving our beautiful planet.
Love to you and your family.
Thank you for this. I would very much like that to be part of my new way of working as well as show the amazing capabilities of older women,
Excellent thx got sharing as always a kind supporter
Thank you.
Your outfit is gorgeous. Where did you get it?
It’s a mash=up of a $25 dress purchase and a very old pair of jeans. Carrying a gifted tote from Dior.
firstly, i cannot wait to read your book. after that, i believe the the universe will present you with what you have to do/share. it probably already has? i feel privileged to follow your writings and what ever slice of life you deem to share with us. i love that we have the freedom to change, and hope that i have the courage. i will say that i don’t move quite as quickly as you…my labor will be to expedite the journey that is in its beginnings.
As someone that has followed you for several years I feel that you have so much more to say now than you did before this time of interruption.
You’re perspective has been very motivatting as I reinvent myself at 70.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for this; I always find you inspiring, not just stylistically, but as a multi-hyphenate whose core is social worker. While I’m a psychologist, I’m extensively trained in social work too. I write, I speak, I teach, I counsel, and I invest in intriguing projects. But lately, I too am itchy. Your thoughts are sending me a little further along my path of contemplation, and I appreciate that.
It seems like so many of the tools in my toolbox are just not right for the time we are living in we have to fins/build new ones.
You certainly always give me lots to think about. I have been lying in bed with a bad back for a week and it certainly has focused my thoughts. The quote of ‘Create to connect with those that need you’ is very powerful Thank you
Hello, thank you for this wonderful writing. I just turned 60 years old and I am in a crossroads in my life as to what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am hoping to retire sooner than later and just don’t know where to go from here. I have one grown son with two beautiful granddaughters and a wonderful partner of 17 years now. My life is very happy and for filled, but sometimes out of my feel empty and still not knowing what I want to do next with my life Sheila
I relate to the 7 year itch and think it’s good to keep moving, keep trying new things on to see if they fit. Nine months ago my move to NH had me busy. Now I am settling in to taking care of myself, teaching exercise classes to seniors and line dancing to stay active. But, I could use some help lightening up. Maybe it’s the anniversary of 9/11 or knowing about so much trouble in the world. Seeing you in your cute outfits and listening to your stories really helps. Lately I’ve been thinking about starting a read aloud book club for something fun like Rodham.
That’s a wonderful idea for a book club.
Just be you. Daring and graceful. Forefront and avant-garde. No one who has accomplished what you have can be anything less.
(By the way, in the Caribbean, the number seven is the lucky number)
Thank you, My you is always becoming so we’ll see what’s next.
This is a very inspiring post for me. Re-invention when your life has become stale to you is vital and never too late to do. Lots to think about for me. Keep on reminding us to reflect and re-purpose.
Wisdom is not just bestowed, we must put ourselves into new experiences, learn new things and reflect on what we learn, it’s not a gift we can take for granted.
Sounds a lot like reflection and an opening of doors to determine which to go in. The demonstration of intelligent thought is what draws me to this blog. There is the beauty of wisdom and yet the acknowledgment that while our bodies are aging our spirits remain ever young. I look forward to journeying with you and other likeminded souls in this place of safe vulnerabilities.
Wow, I love the name you just gave this space; the place of safe vulnerabilities. Thank you that sounds so very special.
‘Create to connect with those that need you’ is inspiring and I always feel a connection to your writing. Thanks for sharing your voice and empowering others to do the same. Onward and Upward!!
Yes, here we go!
the wonderful thing about your blog, is not only your post is a great inspiraton, but also the comments below became my msut read, they are inspirational too. i am turing 50 in two months, i felt no worries at 30, 40 ,49, but during the past several months i suddenly heard the ticking of time, agitated, wondering what should i do for the rest of life. in addition, i believe i am not the only person/painter/illustrator to draw from your cool&fun photos, will send you via instagram. maybe they can be used in your book, for free, if you like.
I agree, the comments are just as satisfying as the read. Send those illustrations my way!
Absolutely love your blog. So inspiring. I also enjoyed reading all the comments. Thank you.
That to me is the value-added of my blog: the comments from my brilliant followers are just as inspiring as what I write!
A topic near and dear to my heart as I’m currently reflecting on so much of this. As always I admire your writing clarity on this. You express yourself so well.
I’d love to discuss more in person if you have the time. It would be lovely to reconnect.
Yes a timely topic for many, talk soon.
Thank you for inspiring me to step outside of the box and be myself!
The most important thing of all; embracing who we are.
I will never forget hopping on the M86 six years ago and finding myself clutching a pole right next to where you were seated. You had modeled for a designer friend of mine and were one of the first people I followed when I got on Instagram. When I sputtered my admiration for your work, your grace and kindness proved every bit as exceptional as your glamour and intellect. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself these past years through this project. Your generosity has gifted so many with an expanded vision of what is possible in the world and in themselves. Your heart has brought you here, and I am happy you continue to heed its urgings!
Thank you for these kind words, they mean so much to me. You and other women provide me with inspiration and motivation every day and I theank you too.
I resonate with so much of this post- too many things to touch on but I too am pondering how I want to labor. I too am focused on values and purpose- and find myself softening. Thank you for sharing this piece. It’s thought-provoking in beautiful ways.
Isn’t it wonderful to have fellow pilgrims on this journey?
Since I am not a master of words it helps me tremendously that you write about what I, too, feel. Experiences I am not always aware of, but recognize when you describe them. And just knowing there is at least one other person out there with a similar experience makes me feel connected. So maybe that’s the clue: Sharing! My labor, I don’t have an answer to that. May that has to do with sharing, too.
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As you can see through the comments there are many others who feel the way you do and you are not alone. So please keep sharing here and in your life as we all have something important to say and to contribute.
I love this. I love the uncertainty and the questions you challenge us with. I love that you aren’t satisfied with the way things have been and you continue to surf the crashing waves of change, and stay right there with it. I see you as I see myself, as a perennial. And, I know you aren’t looking for praise, but we are all of us going through uncertain times and uncharted waters, and the seasons, though changing with the climate, still have a rhythmic comfort like a heartbeat.
I am also on the verge of re-creating myself in a way that feels meaningful and lush, if scary. I am studying for this new profession (astrology) while also looking to continue to advance my current career in user experience design, but with the aim of rebuilding a fractured team at my old company in a leadership role. Playing the role of a mentor in my old (20-year career) while learning a new one requires being both a butterfly and a caterpillar at the same time it feels! But, it’s the caterpillar that carries my future. The butterfly is me giving back to my old career with the best flourish I can, which is ultimately to help other designers. In the meantime, I keep on learning and am happy to help as best as I can.
And, please do feel free to email me about us looking at your chart sometime! It would be such an honor for me to learn more about that with you. Your mind and spirit are brilliant to me.
What a beautiful piece of writing and such a great expression of who older women actually are today. I love the metaphor of being both a caterpillar and a butterfly. I will take you up on the offer to read my chart as I would love to be part of your new journey.
Your blog illustrates that human beauty excludes perfection. That wrinkles and grey hair, like texture and color, represent feelings and hues from age. And your thoughts about life are an absolute labor of love to read, thank you.
Thank you, your comment is greatly appreciated.
I like this topic about itchiness. Why do I long for something more or something different? Is it just human nature to want more? How can I use my creativity in expressing my highest and best self? I am now retired, 63, and can use my time however I see fit. What is my job now?I want to leave the world a better place than I found it. I want to live my best life. What is my best life? To love and be loved. To be grateful and content? Judging by the amount of responses here, it seems you have struck a chord, Lyn.
What is my job now? What does the world need from us and how can we best share all we have known and experienced in the service of making ourselves and the world we live in a better place. Those are the questions I ask myself every day.
Hi ! Love your post !
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I left an ill-fitting dead-end corporate job to finish my PhD and care for my elderly mother, moving back into the family home to do so. Mom is now in a lovely residential care home, I’ve finished my PhD, and realize I have no desire to return to the corporate frenzy I once knew and pursued. I’m busy taking care of the home, clearing out clutter and collections amassed during my parents’ 63 year marriage, and anxious about my future. I feel a change, a pivoting, a repositioning in play but it is still undefined. I am 63 and feel burned out yet something is stirring…Your journey gives me hope! I have to re-program myself and learn to be in the present without fear.
I am right there with you!