Hello, my friends,
It’s been a quiet and reflective last few months, while also researching and writing the book and finishing up the workforce development grants I am still consulting on with my social work hat. My mother’s death hit me hard triggering much thought about my own and my approach to how I am aging. I am being kind to myself about this, much kinder than I was when my father died. World and national events make it hard to think about things like what to wear or even to stay hopeful and optimistic. It feels a bit like skydiving without a parachute. I do get dressed up far less and now for purposes other than posting on Instagram but that does not mean I am “letting myself go” or “giving up” as many might accuse me of. I am simply letting go. Before I lost my way and fell off the “influencer” cliff, I always dressed to express my identity and the cultural context and time I was living in. I am doing so now in that I choose to dress comfortably and pragmatically as I did before; it’s the same but different. I am no longer attending academic conferences wearing a black and white Yohji Yamamoto suit and shirt, but I am wearing oversize white shirts and comfortable black pants. At times I startle and wake myself and others up by wearing something coral.
I turned 69 in June and it has marked a shift, very different than the one I experienced as I was turning 60. I was very rebellious and yet in reflection while I was fighting the invisibility of being an older woman, I was still denying in an odd kind of way that I was aging and would continue to do so. In the early years of doing Accidental Icon, I distanced myself from older people and claimed it was a “marketing strategy.” I carelessly tossed off comments such as. “Age is just an illusion” or #Ageisnotavariable when I now know 100% that age does matter, bodies do change and it’s a social location burdened with disfavor and a lifetime of experiences based on who we are. I do give myself credit for moving the needle more about the idea that one could reinvent at any time of life and that aging doesn’t mean the end of your life, but I lacked awareness of the many seasons of age and that somehow I would change and shift in my body as I grew older. I did not believe I would need to change my clothes or rather I would even want to change my clothes. Thinking about turning 70 is instigating a new way of being, not less than, just different than. It’s quieter, still transgressive but shows up in how we are honoring the earth in our house and garden, the way I am beginning to participate in my local community, my writing, my relationships, and yes, even in the way I dress.
Researching and writing for my book has become a journey of discovery that I am excited to share with others because unlike the project I started in 2014 which was an aspirational one, the project I am involved in now, “How To Be Old”, is both aspirational and REALISTIC. I have realized that it is not aging itself that must be resisted but rather what society makes us think about aging. It’s a project for all ages and all bodies and needs to have a big dose of moral imagination applied to it. Many of my followers are focusing on their local communities as a way of doing activism and are doing interesting and creative things as all of you here have always been involved in. We need to find ways to support and share this. The other night some artists/activists in my city called a meeting to talk about how we as creative people might respond to what’s happening in the world today and the implications for our community right here. Earlier that day I was unenergetic, maybe even a bit sad, and feeling isolated. I put on a coral dress, dug out some orange and blue earrings I got in Japan when I had a job there, and put on some orange lipstick from a trip to Paris with Hermes. Added a slight perk but not much. All of those objects became animated and activated when I sat at a table with others having a vision for what could be, rather than talking endlessly about what is.
So that’s where I want to head these days. I am very tired of being on platforms that are owned by others, controlled by algorithms, and that fracture my communities. This is not a time for intergenerational conflict, fractured and specialized or siloed communities. Between Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and this blog I have over one million followers most of whom are creative and of different ages! Imagine if we applied all our imagination and creativity to the visioning of new solutions and designs that enhance and support us throughout the lifecycle. It is also exhausting to post and create content for so many different platforms which is why I have stopped. So I am exploring membership-based platforms under our control, there will be no interruptions of ads or other people to follow because I follow one of you. Membership would be free or very minimal to help pay for the platform but will be a place to have Zoom chats, online classes, discussion groups, and interest-based conversations like the ones we have here and the ones that I am having increasingly on Instagram. I am looking for something that allows a visual component as well. We can also talk about the place of fashion and clothing given the time we are living in. Or anything we want for that matter. It’s time the wisdom, creativity, and experience of older women become harnessed and combined with the imagination of those younger than us. If any of you know of any platforms that you may be involved in that meet these requirements let me know. Someone suggested Mighty Networks. Also please share your thought and responses. to the idea of a membership platform and what should be on it.
So as always asking for your thoughts let me know how you’ve been too since it has been a while!
PS My kitchen is finally done!
Let’s see your kitchen’
Love, Barbara
Will do some slow reveals!
Great strategy and direction. Sorry to hear of your mum’s passing, I enjoy hearing you delve into this space of loss and growth. Yes I’m totally open to building online gatherings, it’s the future 🙂👍
Thanks!
Thank you for this as I am 52 and have started thinking 🤔 about the process of aging and how it is and will affect my body. We older women do need a space to commune together and talk about us as creatives 💖
Creative is the operative word!
Looking 4ward to it 💖
Great!
So good to hear from you. I do love the idea of gathering, collaborating and work synergistically to create change and momentum. I am a part of a group that uses Mighty Networks and so far it seems to be what you would be looking for. All the best- Y
Thanks for letting me know that.
Welcome back. I’ve missed you. I’m sure I’m not alone.
Agree 100% on the tedium of the socials. I am interested in a small subscription fee model. That said. I personally avoid subscriptions as much as possible as they can get unwieldly. (note to self, cancel amazon subscription.)
My preference is an up front payment.
Keen on zoom class – interest based conversations – the nexus between art and activism, keeping planet and self healthy, finding meaning and purpose just to name a few.
I love the way you blend practical philosophical musings with a sprinkling of style.
Look forward to seeing who all this evolves.
I hear that you are now directly using this blog as a direct source of income generation.
On one or two occasions years ago I did a couple of sponsored posts on this website which were noted as such. I would always be transparent about that. Over the years I have made income from creating content on Instagram, being in commercials or fashion shoots for brands. I have made little or no income ever from this blog. My email which leads you to the blog post is free. I no longer do sponsored posts on Instagram or anywhere else. So at this time I am making no income from any of the posts I do on any of the platforms I have accounts on.
I agree with everything Chris writes, so saving time writing my own repeat. 😘 I love your platform idea but alas have no recommendations. I’ll pay when you find one.
Having the same musings about aging and body/age acceptance (I’m only 5 months behind you in age). I would love to read your book!
Please keep us updated as you explore your options. I have missed your posts, but this post just blew me away. It is beautifully honest. Thank you.
Thank you, I try to be critically reflective but when lost in the social media abyss it’s quite hard to hold onto oneself. Feels good to reconnect with my self as I am at this stage of life.
Signed out of Instagram this week, so it was good to come here and see that you’re atill posting here. The old platforms are good social aggregators but in my opinion the subscription model is a lot more intimate. Substack is a good platform for writing subscriptions. Anne Friedman uses for her subscription. I love your musings. Thanks for taking the time to put yourself out here. Nice to connect this way.
Thanks so much for the suggestion, I subscribe to Ann Friedman too, she’s great. I’s like the platform to have more features through like being able to have Zoom coffee or tea hours or on-line classes.
Great minds think alike. I was just thinking about you when you appeared in my inbox. I, too, have been out of the loop. I had a terrible fall in March which I sustained multiple broken bones. After 9 days in a trauma hospital, I was transfered to rehab. Now I am receiving home health care. I have balance issues and am recovering from shoulder surgery. I understand what you are going through with aging. I am in my 70’s. My husband just turned 74. We knew we would be older but haddened realized what it would mean. I like the idea of chatting and being able to see one another. I am having trouble finding clothes that I can be fashionable and comfortable at the same time. I call my line of outfits recovery chic. I do like your writing and have missed you.
One of the realistic aspects of getting older is the risk of falling, I am so sorry you have been through such an ordeal. While we will talk about fashion talking about lowering our risk of falling and technology that supports that will be on the agenda too.
I am 68 and I remember some years ago when my doctors started asking me if I had fallen. I remember thinking what an odd question. I’d think to myself, of course, I haven’t fallen. And then one day I did. Just like that…on a routine walk and badly twisted my ankle. I am glad you are on the mend. I know so many of us who have taken these bad spills.
I am getting very motivated from all you comments to speed up the writing to get this book out in the world!
Sounds so interesting and hopefully even although I’ll sign up as a bystander – something could easily stir me into action – I’m sure there are thousands like me too. We just need poked with a stick.
Ah a younger woman from GenX said that to me the other day. She said her generation didn’t have to do so much fighting as my generation broke so many barriers. But now because of the issues that face us she wants to have a prod and learn how.
I’m glad you are back. I agree with your comments about older women sharing their knowledge and younger women sharing their enthusiasm. Given the rights that have been taken away from women recently, we all need to work together. Not to complain about the past but to imagine a better future and make it the present. I would pay for a forum that joins women together and bills women up.
Hi Lynn, I was wondering where you went. I’ve been reading your posts for a few years now and delighted to read I’m not alone in feeling weary from the hype, no matter how subtle a platform might portend to be. I’d be happy to join perennial women without the exhaustive consumer tones. That would be refreshing!
Yes. Interestingly I am starting to be approached by all these brands that want to start creating for the 55+ market. Hearing how poor the younger generations believe themselves to be because of recessions and student loans they are finally accepting older folks may have more resources (I am always conscious there are also those who do not). This will not be about us as consumers but interrupters, intervenors.
Here, here, Jelike…me too.
Yes to everything you have said!
I have been enjoying your posts for over 2 years. It feels wonderful to hear from you again. For me, your re-emergence feels lighter and brighter.
I would be interested in a nominal subscription fee and welcome walking beside you on this beautiful journey called life. Your insight and reflection always fills my heart with joy.
Can’t wait to learn where you will take us. Mighty Networks is a nice platform to consider.
Happy summer!
Thanks Cheryl, a wonderful summer to you as well.
I feel so fortunate to be embraced by so many younger Community members new to our desert. They are becoming the pulse now but yet open their arms to older citizens and creatives. At 72 I am realizing I have a lot to offer them and they me. Inclusion is the key- I embrace it.
That is a very strong reaction. I agree with what you write about what you, we can offer.
I believe it’s time to strengthen the place in society that was increasingly diminished as the aging progressed. After first colourfully being part of society, then greying, moving into the background, then white, becoming more unseen and to ultimately die and be forgotten.
We as a society are throwing away wisdom and knowledge. The younger generation is possibly less to blame for this than the older. We became complaisant and enjoyed our time off too much, indulged. Not surprising that what’s advertised in the glossies is all about youth and being youthful. (With admittedly some token exceptions.)
It’s my believe that our generation should actively go back to taking (its) part in society. It’s a duty in fact and it benefits both the old and the young.
I’m ready for a platform of knowledge and sharing of ideas and fun and colour and participation!
Yes we have so much to offer and I have sensed that the pandemic also took us out of the frame and find agism even more virulent than befor e the pandemic. Let’s not accept this waste of natural resources during a time in history every ounce of wisdom and creativity will be needed.
I completely agree!
Welcome back! I’ve missed your posts and this one particularly resonated with me as I just retired and am going through the process of redefining my purpose (and my day!)
Thank you for the update and looking forward to what lies ahead!
This is a topic of interest to many of the women who follow me, we will absolutely explore it in more depth.
Re online Collab spaces, would be good if there were filters within the broader umbrella, to enable smaller target/breakout groups to meet also
Some of the ones I am looking at have this capacity.
Love this update. Once again, deepest condolences in the loss of your mom. Thank you for sharing. I agree with so much of it and appreciate your candor. I’m happy about your kitchen. That’s such a chore. Best wishes as you continue work on your book. Sending lots of good vibes. I look forward to learning more about the new platforms. I’ve never loved “the game.”
I am intrigued by a subscription based platform and exploring the intersection between age, creativity and activism. I recently read an article about Dorrit Bøilerehauge and a platform she is creating called Silver Starter Initiative
I will need to check that our, thank you.
Yes a game is a good description.
Bravo!! Style is, ultimately, about being who you are and who you need to be in the world. It cannot be defined by anyone else, it is yours alone. So much of what you said resonated with me – I don’t want to be defined by resisting aging( or pretending it is not there) anymore than I want to be defined by aging itself. I just want to be and use what energies I have for good and exciting purposes. Keeping being yourself, Lyn, in all the wonderful, possible iterations. You always have such stimulating things to say!
Thank you Lynne!
Missed your posts thank you for the update!🌻
I would be very interested in this type of forum. I struggle with the questions you’ve raised and where I fit and where I want to fit. I will await your announcement.
Wonderful.
I’m belgian, 66 years old, and following you for several years.
Eventually we have not a lot in common. But,
Just to inform you that I love your commitment for people of your age, your taste, your culture (culture générale in French), and your determination.
I hope my words in english will be correctly understood (English is my 3d language).
Love you !
Thank you and yes I understand your message.
I love your Instagram account and blog. I would follow and read your posts religiously, however, I would not consider a membership account. I wouldn’t follow anyone on this type of platform.
Sorry about your mom passing….it brings the reality of your own mortality closer. Keep posting…I’ll keep following.
Thanks for the honest response.
I love your idea.
Thanks!
Hi Lyn!
It’s so great to receive this.
I agree that all this social media posting is exhausting as I have slowed down my social posts in recent months. Honestly, I think a lot of people are in the same boat. And what is so frustrating, is that unless you pay a lot of money to IG or FB, the algorithms get squashed within seconds, so all the time I spend posting and hash tagging really can be a huge waste of time. So lately, I have been more selective about what I post as the ROI really does not provide very much in return. And what I’m working hard on now is building my email subscriber list when I run into customers and browsers during my markets–sending out newsletters every few months (like you do!) so I can reach my audience (albeit small) in a personal and creative way. I love having access to graphics and how I create my own content via my Square Space site. My list is slowly growing and I spend a lot of time on building my list and branding my newsletters. It’s hard work, but valuable to have access to a human’s email.
You look amazing and I look forward to the release of your book! Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Fondly,
Liza
Yes slow and thoughtful is the way forward.
This is all quite interesting. Yes, we all have something to say but finding the right audience is the trick. I am in my 8th decade, in reasonably good health with an equally healthy husband who recently retired. Adjustments are being explored and serious thinking is taking place. Introspection is ongoing and finding a balance between the quiet times and engaging socially is a new experience. There is much to learn about the aging process and keeping an active, inquisitive mind as well as an active body is the goal. Fashion, for me, is one of life’s perks. Deciding what is appropriate is no longer a concern; comfort and style need not to conflict. Thank you for your thoughts and ruminations.
Lots to think about.
Thank you for this. For so long I thought I was simply timeless; that I had reached a happy plateau and I’d be there forever. Then, very recently (I’m 66..), I got some unpleasant reminders that this is not true. Body parts hurt. Eyeglasses get stronger. The floor seems farther away than it did when things used to fall on it. I look at stairs with trepidation and after a long day at work, my feet look like inflatables….
I hate the way society looks at older people (women especially) as being “cute”, or inept (especially when it comes to tech) or stuck in our ways. I hate stories about people who go back to grad school “late” or start a business after having a career, marveling as if all we were going to do is jigsaw puzzles and garden. (Neither is bad….)
But I have come to the realization that I need to fashion a new way of looking at the rest of my life; not as an extension of what was, but as a more gently discovered pathway to what’s next.
and oh what an interesting path that will turn out to be if we have your attitude towards traveling it.
This was a fabulous post. I will be turning 70 in November and your writing coincides so much with my current thoughts about the reality of aging and how I am changing as I age. I’m not changing in a bad way – and I certainly don’t plan on becoming the stereotypical “little old lady” of my past familial generations, but there are some realities I didn’t expect (I should have, but had an attitude that I was not going to physically age until much later – HA, Surprise!) and I also, on a positive note, feel a certain serenity and peace. But reading your words, which echo my own thoughts was refreshing. Thank you so much! I’ll join whatever platform you come up with.
Yes it really is a both/and experience of being wonderful and freeing on so many levels but some physical challenges begin to emerge. It’s not good or bad, it just is.
You are fabulous. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience and the evolution of your perceptions through this wonderful thing called life. I’m not far behind you at age 65, and you are correct – things continually change with age. I just recently went from the somewhat drabness of the comfort of working from home to getting into my power heels pairing them with more interesting combinations that inspire me on the days I go into the office. My tastes vary daily depending on my mood, which I’m trying to spark up again. I lost the love of my life in Dec. 2020 on top of all the pandemic stuff and the chaos that seems to be engulfing our world, and I pulled myself into an isolated little dark hole, but it’s time to re-emerge strong and brilliant as is my true spirit – embrace my life again. I hope you find a suitable platform. I want to continue reading. No suggestions – I can barely navigate Twitter and FB! But I want to continue reading your thoughts. Oh, and congratulations on your newly finished kitchen. 🙂
Check out Polywork. A friend recommended it and I joined but I’ve done nothing to learn more about it, who’s on it, how it supports creatives, etc., so I can’t be any help there. Between the house and home front, working full time in this twisted, crazy capitalism, and trying to write a book of fiction, I’m full up. Love you and happy to hear from you again. Ox to you and Calvin.
Thanks for the recommendation and good luck on all you are working on!
My condolences on the loss of your partner. We’re here for the re-emergence.
I find your blog much more interesting now! It was fun to look at clothing but your reality resonates much more.
Glad you’re back and your kitchen is finished! I agree with Kai’s statement. Your reality does resonate more so and I am looking forward to hear more from you.
I am trying to be as honest as possible with myself and you so we can all achieve peace and acceptance.
Me too actually lol
So happy to hear from you! I loved hearing your latest thoughts, how you’re doing and what’s coming up. As an aging woman myself (turned 56 last month) I am also considering many of these things. Thanks for keeping in touch. Please keep doing so. Best wishes.
will do
I look forward to a continuing discussion about aging. In my head I am 37-43. I’m really 65. Sometimes a photo startles me. Lol. But I still never act my age. Is that bad? What is age appropriate really?
Exactly nothing except what we want it to be!
I would be interested in a membership-based platform. I am not on any social media and dispise all that it represents and has become. I too am in that “funny” place where I am starting to doubt the worth of trying or starting anything new. I could use a community.
It’s an in between time we called it before What now?
Love your posts. Keep them coming please!
Will do
Love it. Going through similar transitions on my end. We need to keep it real!!!
Indeed we do!
Hello Lyn,
Your thoughts and feelings could be written of me! I am all in for anything you choose to do for us followers and fans of yours. Please, I would like to be part of this. When can we see your kitchen photos?
Linda
Yes I will do some slow reveals!
I love everything you’re saying here. And at 61, I identify with the 59 year old you, believing the idea that physical age can be managed and that attitude overcomes all. And yet! I sense and see around the edges of time, and am beginning to understand what is now obscured. Thank you for sharing!
Yes having a badass attitude does not stop you from needing cataract surgery but using it as an excuse to get some fabulous new sunglasses is!
membership ok, zoom ok, online classes ok, discussion groups ok, interest-based conversations ok….
Thanks for the feedback
Love this blog. Your best yet in my book. I am 73 and tracking with you. (Plus I am amazed at how well my former me stuff sells on The Real Real!)
I am very interested in the membership platform and look forward to seeing it come into fruition. Please keep me posted.
Been selling my stuff there too!
Wonderful post! Your questions are my questions. You.re reading my mind…again. turning 74
Thanks!
Love this new photo! Your adventure has been a joy to follow. My best!
Thanks Cyndi.
YES! YES! YES! But.. don’t get too drowned in the ‘society’s’ “age is old” trip. Yeah, I can’t hold my booze as well anymore (well, I don’t at all; I stopped drinking). But the sex is better. And I shrunk a little (2in.?), and am still physically strong, but not as much as in the old days.
BUT, but, but but, I just had an op-ed piece in the Daily News (you’re in NY, no? Or did I get it wrong?), fulfilled what I considered a personal moral obligation and volunteered working with Ukrainian Refugees on the Polish-Ukrainian border, for 6 weeks. An experience of a lifetime, to put it mildly and like you, I’ve ‘been around,’ globally speaking. Also chronologically speaking…
Most of the volunteers were 25-30-35, and came for a week, max. 2. I was there six. And would still be there if the charity I was working for didn’t move to Lviv, Ukraine (they’re getting bombed there; I can’t nor will).
All of this to say, YOU KEEP GOIN’ GIRL! Good to hear your voice, and in such detail. Below is the link to my article: I truly hope it encourages you. “We’re Not as Bad as We Think,” and the “bad” isn’t age; you might be surprised what it is:
https://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/ny-oped-were-not-as-bad-as-we-think-20220623-twqiqv6rq5d7hgdn3rq3rgwiji-story.html
Don’t let them EVER tell you, you can’t do something. For what it’s worth, I’m 71! I got you beat sista!
With much appreciation and admiration,
Mary Lucich
P.S.N.B. – I love your clothes!
Can’t wait to read, and wow what an inspiration you are!
You are an inspiration for me, as I have followed you for awhile.
I’m 75 and from New York my white life until my husband dragged me to Miami. I’m here since 2013 and I still can’t adapt. I don’t drive nor speak Spanish and I really don’t even like the beach.
Though I don’t look 75, my body sometimes reminds me.
Fashion has always been my form of artistic expression of myself, but here it’s, though it doesn’t go unnoticed by others, I don’t have the same enthusiasm. I haven’t given up yet…….it just comes naturally I suppose, but it’s not like N.Y.
So wonderful to see your post. My sincerest condolences on your mom’s passing. I too lost my dear mom last fall. She was 99. Still her passing was deeply deeply felt. Miss her very much. Hope your summer is going well.
My condolences to you as well. My mom was 95 and while we had her a long time her absence is felt every day.
I’m with you on the beach! So maybe you can find some joy sharing and communicating with others here.
I felt a special type of “good” comfort when I saw your message. Happy to see You, I felt myself smiling! Empathizing about your mom’s death. Saying “AMEN” to your comments about turning 69 — Me To0, this year.
You look rested, fresh, stylish, and beautiful (as usual).
Thanks for being you — before, during, and beyond Age 69!
Thanks Bonnie.
Glad to hear from you,- I have missed you, both your glam and your everyday adventures. Please know I will eagerly read if you are inspired to post ❤️
Thank you!
Hi Lyn
So nice to hear from you! I always enjoy reading your writing. At the risk of sounding negative, I do not want to pay for content/discussions. I am interested in continuing to receive your blog and emails. I am also interested in your finished book.
Not negative at all, just honest which should be neutral.
Oh Lyn , I’m very happy to hear from you. I’ve missed you a lot. And just last Sunday I was thinking off you and wondering what became off you. Welcome back.🤓🤗
Thank you!
What a wonderful surprise to see a message from you! You are always relevant and spot on. I would be interested in a membership platform. I like that you are interested in many things other than fashion, but please, keep your fashion blog going. I look forward to purchasing your book. Please keep us posted on your membership platform.
Fashion for me has always been how I express my identity in light of the context I am living in so it will always be part of my conversation. I just want to stay clear of the commodified conversation it became, not interested in that one bit.
Condolences to you on the difficult loss of your mother. It is to be expected that it would hit you hard, especially given how you have been aware of your transitioning to a new life and pace. It is enough to be feeling the effects of time but to lose your Mom at the same time is an addition of extra sadness. I have been adapting to my life changes as I retired from my busy teaching position when I was 70. I needed knee surgery one year, then the next was covid, then as covid was getting better I needed a shoulder surgery. Now at 73 I feel better than I did before and am ready to enjoy a slower pace. It is a treat to realize that I am able to live nicely without the daily grind. I allow each day to unfold and try to be healthy and as productive as I feel like being. Some days more than others. My 30 year old daughter is a writer by trade and she is involved with a lot of creative types. She keeps me feeling young and I try to dress with a bit of trend instead of a lot. I enjoy fashion and keeping up and it is fun to pull a look together. I think I am doing ok since my daughter’s friends often take note and let her know that the like something or other that I have worn. Please keep up in some way with your membership platform idea. When I saw a photo of you “rocking it” I started to follow you. I love how you are interested in many things and how you ponder so much that many of us also ponder. Love your new home so please let us see your kitchen!
Thank you. You are such an example of how responding to challenges can lead us to feel better than we did before. Inspiring, also how being around the young contributes.
Glad you are back! Re: a new platform, you might want to take a look at Joinable. It’s just getting going (may still be in beta). The current use cases depict people getting together in volunteer groups, neighborhood groups, but it seems like it could work for your purposes as well. Also, the people behind the platform are stellar human beings, and are truly trying to do good in the world! https://www.joinable.us/about
Thank you I will check this out.
Dear Lyn,
Now that you’re out of New York City and living in a far smaller city, you are going through a TREMENDOUS learning curve and acclimation — how do I know? Because I moved, by myself at 20, to Manhattan and in 2016 at 70 I moved, by myself, again to Colorado.
And as an aside, how exciting that your new kitchen is finished (that’s significant for your quality of life.)
At my age, the kindness of the people here in a smallish Colorado city matters a great deal but I never would have wanted this at 20! At 20, I wanted to live in a world-class city with residents from 149 countries — and I wanted to date half of them — and I did!
Where I currently live, in the supermarket the cashier asks: “And how’s your day going?” And after 6 years, I still have to remind myself that they are expecting a response — even if it’s a positive change, it’s a lot to adjust to.
Also, if you take up a part-time job in retirement, I predict that you will be shocked at the pace of folks who have always lived in a low-population area — I worked 4 years for a locally-owned newspaper here and the folks were so laid back it sometimes seemed they weren’t on “pause” but on “stop.” I developed the idea that everyone who ever lived in Manhattan is in marketing and promotion (they had to be living with 8.5 million people on one little island.)
Watch the word “realistic” — it’s the big dream killer and what’s “realistic” to one person often is not to someone else. Any time I come up with a new direction I want to take in life, I don’t let that word “realistic” get in the way.
Regarding missing your mother, lucky you, that you had a relationship with your mother worthy of missing her. Many of us come from backgrounds that were so dysfunctional (perhaps as many as 85%) that we broke off contact with our families decades ago and our life began to ascend as a result.
Baby Boomers, of which I am the oldest having been born in 1946 and having been 18 in 1965 when some jerk said “Don’t trust anyone over 30” have changed the culture at every stage of our existence, in part because there are so many of us (with all that purchasing power.) My point in sharing this is that before I am off the planet I believe there will be a healing between the generations — young people need mentors who have lived a robust life and can help them along the way — I’ve mentored young adults the past 35 years and I am in the process of writing a book for young adults.
Lyn, like it or not, you are a trend setter who gained attention, in part, because you give people hope that in each decade we can be vibrant, growing, and adventurous — it’s significant that you have had lots of young followers — they want to know that even as they continue to age, that they still matter and that they can have a future, a future they would want, perhaps one well beyond their youthful imagination.
I wish you every continued success as you continue to make each year matter — first, to you, and then, to the rest of us — because we are listening!
Angelina
Thank you for making the point that as we age including turning 20, we have different needs, wants and desires. I also like your narrative about the way smaller communities can support older age. In my view intergenerational solidarity is the path to wellness in our broken society. Hope we together can advance that.
Thank you for this blog. One topic I wouldn’t mind unpacking is the concept of older women being invisible. Are we are invisible to men? Who cares? Lol. But, I certainly understand that, since I am now 60 and apparently quite invisible. I’m the invisible woman free to pursue my interests and looking for meaningful connections to different kinds of communities. Build one. Structure your subscription so it’s not a barrier, and I think you’ll get members. You have motivated me to put on some lipstick tonight when I meet a friend for dinner. It won’t be orange, but I think it will feel good to glam up. Btw, I am a marketing professional and dislike social media and retargeted ads to my core. Sounds like I am not alone on that one.
and let’s explore what some of the benefits of invisibility are as well as how becaseu of internalized agism we may contribute, I’ve been looking at that in myself.
Thank you! Your journey is so familiar to so many of us and we want to be at the table to learn and “leave something behind”. It’s not about growing older. It’s about leaving this place better than we found it and keeping the ideas fresh. I’m 65 and I thought I had experienced the different ways you are treated as an older woman, but just going to the pharmacy with a new Medicare card made me realize there are still walls to push down to change minds. I’m all in with any platform you find!
One of the ways we can make it better is to show younger women aging is not and ORDEAl it has opportunities and challenges like any other time of life and we can respond to the challenges creatively and innovatively.
I have been thinking of you lately. Researched my emails as far back as I could, to see if I had missed one from you. Love everything you’ve said and I get it. My deepest condolences on the loss of your Mom, a very hard time. I’m up for a subscription and/or anything to generate my brain and am looking forward to joining you on this venture. And of course, congrats on the kitchen renovation. Peace and light.
Thanks Tracey.
Hi Lyn – I love your new outlook on your life and on aging as a woman in our US youth obsessed society. Condolences on the loss of your mother. I am starting over with a new man from 50 years ago in my high school. Adopting a more casual style and outlook on being 67. Life is too short to be prissy or to care what others think of me or my clothes or my lifestyle now.
Congratulations on new beginnings!
Hello Lyn, it is nice to read your letter. I am ten years behind you in age and am anxious about what the next decade will hold for me. I appreciate your insights about age- “fighting the invisibility of being an older woman,” struck a chord.
Medium is an app I enjoy using- I go there to enjoy my reading time on a visually uncluttered field. However, it is not a photo-centric app. Thanks for your thoughts today.
Thanks for the suggestion Claudia.
Hi Lyn — So good to hear from you. You continue to inspire with how your mind works and connects things. Also comforting in a strange way to hear someone else struggling and finding glimmers of insight with the same issues — the disturbing here and now, how to make a difference, and the general malaise in the country as well as my own experience with the aging process and all that it entails.
I recommend you check out CivilTalk platform to see if it offers you the options you are toying with. https://www.civiltalk.com/
A former colleague of mine created it…
Thanks I will check it out.
Love it ! You have exactly the right idea.
Lyn, Welcome back. Let’s keep the vibrant ideas flowing.
Yassssss
Hi Lyn,
Love the idea of creating a community around this. I’m turning 67 this year, work at a tech startup, and often encounter ageism in my industry. I currently manage a community for my employer using Mighty Networks as a platform, and it’s very easy to use. Happy to chat more about that with you and have quite a few resources to share. I could also help run numbers with you to see what the breakeven cost and level of effort would be. Willing to donate some time and expertise to help create a vibrant community. Let’s make this happen! Love to see your kitchen photos too.
Thanks I would welcome your advice. I’ll shoot you an email.
Welcome back, Lyn
This is refreshing to receive this latest blog in my in box.
I look forward to the release of your book and the membership platform.
Thank you!
Lyn, it’s such a pleasure to read your intimate thoughts as if reading your journal. I can relate to the age shift because when I turned 60 I didn’t give it another thought… I felt and looked like I could easily pass for 50. When I turned 70 there was a slight shift and now turning 72 in September, I wonder how long I will live? What new can I explore? One thing that has never changed, I get bored easily. LOL It would be wonderful to connect with you and other creative minds at a platform you describe.
We can talk about the ills of the world… but aren’t there many platforms to go and vent already. In the ageing process (let’s face it, we are all aging no matter who you are) I am interested in knowing what others are discovering about themselves and what adventures you are exploring. Lynn, in your case, you moved from the city to live in suburban town and renovate an old house.
So I look forward to joining a platform where I can draw inspiration from like-minds. Thank you for reading ❤ NS
I feel so much of what you describe. Yes inspiration and creativity in how to make the best of the rest of what we have.
Your words are like a salve for my soul. My mother passex away at the age of 100 on May 21st. I thought that i would be ready, after all, she was 100 in fine form, lived on her own, no help, no illness and she just passed passed in her sleep with a smile on her face. Her death has hit me hard and reminds me of my own mortality. Especially at 75. I never appreciated what an accomplished woman my mother was. I took it all for granted. This Summer for me has become a time of quiet and reflection and a hope to appreciate the time I have left here on this planet however long it may be. Thank you for your honesty. It is so refreshing and touches my heart and soul.
My condolences. and thank you.
Lynn Please count me in. I will turn 71 in September and I have embraced my age. My positives with aging have far outpace the negatives. After working for local municipalities in the Hudson Valley for almost 30 years it is finally refreshing to be a “free thinker”.
I now dress to please me.
Again, count me in and I look forward to reading your next post.
Thanks Paula!
Dear Lyn, I’m not sure why your posts appear at the right times with such resonating messages. Yet I’m grateful.
The other day at Barnes & Noble, I was shuffling in front of hundreds of magazines that seem to increase in number at each visit and didn’t see one aimed at our age group. Then I thought of you…and now your new idea of a digital platform with meaningful content sounds wonderful and maybe could materialize in physical form on the shelves. Not that you need another project. Yet I’d love to have your writings in a magazine or journal. Sending good vibes! Linda
Ditto to all of the above!
I first want to say you are in my thoughts as you journey through the grief of losing your Mom. Being older than you by half a decade it is lovely to see you deciding who you are going to be inside and out as you go into your 70s, never lose your sense of humor! Be well!
Thanks for your kind wishes.
At 71, not at any kind of “ideal” weight, I’m moving toward simple, comfortable (AKA pragmatic) clothing of linen, cotton, denim, solid colors, rich neutrals. I’m navigating elder care, helping my daughter in law as she endures cancer treatment, caring for my grandkids, and supporting my sons who are both floundering. All the while creating quality time with friends, avoiding covid, making art, and keeping up with an old house.
I’ve missed your writings and was so happy to see you again! I love the idea of moving away from algorithm-driven media (if that’s even possible), so will be tagging along. It’s lovely to hear you musing about age/fashion/creativity. Thank you for being you!
So good to hear from you again. Although I have always loved your statement on fashion, it is your outlook on life that has kept me tuned in. I am turning 75 next month and am trying to keep as involved in life as possible, although now intake an afternoon nap daily!. I am writer and finally divorced myself from much of the social media that was sucking too much valuable time. Even gave up my newsletter and have only kept what gives me joy – writing historical fiction and my monthly blog on Strong Women In History.
Kudos to you, Lin. You inspire us all!
At 62, THIS is what I am interested in and you nailed it. When my own mother was dying, I became increasingly anxious as my loquacious and charming mother spoke less and less. When she finally fell completely silent, a wise and generous Sister shared “do not worry…she has begun the hard work with Jesus…”. I believe we prepare for that final discussion by ridding ourselves of all the outside noise and chatter so we can hear, REALLY hear what is important. That preparation may take years…but I feel, at least for me, it has begun. So I thank you for sharing many of the same thoughts I am having now as well. Bless you!
I had exactly the same experience. I watched my mother do that work too, it was her last gift to me.
Hello Lynn, so happy to read your most recent blog. Just a few days ago I also turned that delightful 69. It sometimes boggles my mind to know I’ve reached that age. But it’s all good. I try to stay focused and optimistic but it is so difficult in this world we are living in. I long for travel overseas but once again that too has escaped me. I will focus on next summer perhaps. So for now let us march forward one step at a time. Sending all the best to you.
And to you Rose, Happy Birthday!
I am so glad to hear all the great new explorations going on in your life…
Thanks Edward.
Hi Lyn,
Good to see you back – and looking as youthful as ever!
For me, I’m just happy the way things are. To get your e mail winging its way in to Scotland – when you feel like writing it – is the best! I don’t participate in Facebook, Instagram or any Social Media……and life is just fine! I don’t need it, frankly.
For me, I would probably not join another platform……but I am probably in the minority group- just turned 69.
Delighted to hear life is good for you – and that you have finally got your new kitchen installed…….enjoy!!!
Thanks Allison. I’ll keep the blog going to share the writing if I can and it’s not too much. Combining platforms into one is part of the downsizing I am doing in how I spend my time, my wardrobe and other things I no longer need.
Your post is like a breath of fresh air on this hot humid summer afternoon! Your transparency in revealing how you handle life as you age brings forth a peace that we all need these days. Your past posts have validated that it is always best to be the person we are designed to be without allowing the restraints of the society we live in to change us. Thank you! I eagerly await the release of your book, and look forward to reading your upcoming posts.
Thanks so much for the lovely feedback.
Thank you for what your blog. I agree with you 100% and appreciate this one more than the pictures.
Thanks Lisa!
I’m so glad to hear from you — and I’m so sorry about your mum. It’s a tough blow, losing your surviving parent. Really changes one’s approach to self-identity. Loved this insightful update and look forward to hearing more about a membership platform! Best wishes and virtual hugs to you from Victoria Wilbourn in Fayetteville, Arkansas
Hi Victoria, stay safe in the heat wave! And yes the loss of my mom did instigate a real shift.
Quoting Billy Crystal, “You Look Absolutely Marvelous” – Chic to the core even in jeans & a tee shirt! I cannot wait till your book comes out. My Mom’s passing 4 years ago also hit me hard, and the grief I felt had nothing to do with aging. At a certain age, we all have thoughts about our own mortality. I remember seeing the old David Frost Shows/Interviews from the late 60’s. He had once interviewed Jerry Lewis as a guest, and he had asked Jerry how he felt about aging; Jerry replied as only Jerry could, “It’s all up here (pointing to his temple) I will be nine forever”. It’s all how you perceive and structure yourself at different stages of your life. I would love to know where upstate you finally settled. I am aspiring to move up there eventually myself. It’s Great to hear from you, and Keep Up The Good Work! PS I will look into The Mighty Networks!
Thank you, I have moved to Peekskill. We chose it because it is 10 minutes away from my daughter (and grands), it’s diverse, it’s a river town on the Hudson, it’s in the process of “becoming” as younger creatives move in and start businesses and become involved in the community, as we are becoming too and there is a creative community. We are so very happy with the move, no regrets and it’s a 45 minute ride to the city if we wish to go in.
I would be very interested in what you are proposing and happy to pay a membership fee to stay involved. So glad you are back!
Thank you Judy!
Welcome back, I always look forward to your posts, your writing and thoughts are inspirational, kind and generous – the membership platform is an exciting idea and one to look forward to.
Good to see you back. I love your thoughts here. They are so much more gentle than what we see on social media. I find it’s a slippery slope for me to fight against who I truly am as I look at what others think we should be. I am not a creative by any stretch of the imagination but look forward to what you do going forward.
Yes we need to take charge of the narrative of who we should, or better yet, want to be as we go through the many layers of aging, which by the way begins the minute we are conceived.
Thank you Tracey!
Thank you! For telling us about your being and doing since your last post. I turned 70 in June and share your experience of gathering insights during recent months of reflection of its meaning and insights gathered. It led me to resolve to be comfortable too… and your decisions on style are very affirming to be a bit daring when choosing clothes. Like a lot of women I know, I stopped coloring my hair during Covid. I’ve embraced the white as my surprise reveal that adds to my confidence. You certainly helped me with that. I’m praying that an inspired designer would do a show with models all in white, silver, salt & pepper hairstyles. Bring it on, the world is ready for the fashioned women of that certain age…
Also, I’ve decided not to sell my Ilie Wacs (WACs Works) vintage coat; hoping to visit a cold weather town this fall and winter…I so love the feeling it gives me when someone notices it (and me too). Look forward to your further announcements. You are your platform.
I really like the project of what style means during this phase of life, it’s a great conversation.
Yes me too! I think knowing what styles are flattering and how they make you feel. With the change of my hair color my pallet of what I wear is brighter, bolder, etc. (& learned how to handle someone who tells me I should go back to being a brunette, Ha!) But I cannot wait to your membership platform is available. Thanks Lynn
Hi, Lyn!
I’ve been reading your blog for sometime now, but have never comment. However, I HAD to comment on this post because I agree with everything you said about the aging process. I’m 67, and have been in the beauty industry for almost 40 years. Several years ago I had to take a break because I could see what the beauty industry does to women. It’s only concern is focusing on the youth. They have alienated women over 40, and that not only makes my angry, but sad as well.
“… and it’s a social location burdened with disfavor and a lifetime of experiences based on who we are. ”
How true that is! And the beauty industry “projects” it’s idea of what beauty is by clever showing us photographs of women (models) who are in their 20’s. Which I find ridiculous because it’s the mature women who make the loyalist clients. THEY are ones who come back and replenish.
And besides, age is something that should be celebrated, not something that we’re made to fear. Because every single one of us is going to age.
Anyway, I absolutely loved this post. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I so admire and respect you! Good to see you back!
Ah you have seen it up close and personal. Someone told me this great quote yesterday, I’m still searching for the attribution but “aging is cool, everybody doing it!” How great is that?
Thank you so much; we are the same age and evidently have just both lost our moms. Birthday #69 feels strange indeed as does my conception of “being old” – I too ignored changes in myself and in society until I can no longer ignore them. It’s refreshing to hear a peer discuss these issues.
My condolences. Yes I was suffering these things alone and decided to share them and look at all the comments that supported our experience. Why the need for community.
Thank you for this very insightful piece of reflection. You understand totally that it isn’t ageing that is the problem; it’s how we are taught to perceive this very natural process, especially as it relates to women. I am older – 74 to be exact, and when people remark that I ‘don’t look my age’, my response is ‘yes I do. This is what 74 looks like on me. Don’t be suckered into believing the stereotypes. Trying to be something we aren’t or look like something we aren’t can cause severe mental illness. Keeping it real is healthy and necessary. We have to be the role models for those coming up behind us so that our young girls can have healthy attitudes about themselves.
I so agree! We have to start with ourselves and our own internalized oppression. A nurse asked me the other day if there was someone who could help me get my covid test results on-line. I asked, I’m curious why you thought I would need assistance doing that? To credit he blushed and said that’s a very good question that it seems I really need to think about. Too often in the face of comments like that we either lecture or go silent. We need to help people think about what they are saying, and where that cam from. So you response is great and I would add the question what do you think 74 should look like and how did you come to know that? This is something we can help each other with on the platform
I am so pleased to hear from you again and on such an important issue, particularly for women. I agree we wish that age was just a number but it does have implications in terms of health and the preparations you need to make to try not to become a burden to others, particularly younger family still trying to make their way. I am ten years ahead of you and still trying to figure things out.
Yes in all my research, except sometimes in novels or non-fiction I am hard pressed to find realistic representations of age that either are so aspirational they are not realistic or so horrifying and dim no one want to go there. This is in fact the project that needs doing.
I will turn 73 in October so very much tracking with you…married to someone 9 years older so I also have a “foot” in the door to the next decade. If you think 70 is invisible…80 is non existent. Thank you for fighting to have a presence no matter the age you are wearing. Much is talked about “leaving the earth a better place for our children and grandchildren.” And it is important. BUT it’s also important that we leave our AGE a better place for them to inhabit when it becomes their turn. If we roll over and play OLD, then doctors expect that and will treat the next generation the same. If we make 80 as the new 60 then we’ve moved that bar in the right direction. So thank you again for fighting for it. I’m also an author that will no longer write because of social media and it’s “control.” So a membership based subscription is perfect…and I hear many others trying to head that direction also. We create the world we want!!!
I am so about this! I have a granddaughter and I do not want her to feel that aging is an ORDEAL. Addressing that is also part of leaving the world to be a better place.
I’ve missed you. Thanks for this introspective post.
I find myself in much the same position as you describe.
Thanks Bette.
Love a subscription based community. Really not loving Instagram or Facebook or Tim Tom or any of it. Feels exploitative and damaging to everyone’s mental health. I think of Dr. Estes reference to the “overculture.” It’s time to move on!
The research is there we are just ignoring how damaging this is to our brain, mental health and cognitive ability.
so glad to see you again, lyn. i second all that was said before me. i have found that i have nothing left to say on IG. and the bots and algorithm issues are horrendous. our time, i’m 74, becomes all the more precious as we age.
Modern Elder Academy has a very interesting outlook you might want to research and explore toward your end. will look forward to any direction you take with your new venture. all my best, bonnie
Thanks Bonnie. While I admire what MEA does it is for those who have a great deal of resources. Some of the classes are too expensive even for me as I am concerned about heading into fixed income, recession and inflation. They do have some free workshops I sometimes tap into but I am looking to offer a similar service that is inclusive and accessible to many more.
Wonderful to have you back!!! Looking forward to reading your book, when it’s completed! & you must be over the moon with your kitchen finished now! Be great to see you explore how life affects women, when they start to age!
I truly believe it’s a mindset…..
Your as young as you feel…..
Even when the body struggles to keep up, with the young mind!!! Love your posts❤️
It is very much a mindset and we never focus on context and social positions that impacts how we do aging too. There are many ways we experience age and as you note there is often a disconnect between body and subjective experience.
I was just thinking of you today so was happy to find this in my unread email. I’m sorry about your mom. How fortunate that you made the move that you did when you did. And now you’re moving again, or still, and that gives hope to all of us in these later stages of life. I’m IN when you create a platform and thank you for including clothes. I still love them and the combining and recombining with accessories, shoes, and lipstick!
Clothing is an expression of identity and it allows us to keep and retain memories for those reasons it is something important to examine, not because of maintaining perfect standards of beauty or trends but because they express who we are in the context we are living in. They can also impact our performance, brain and mood. So what is a style that is in the service of age and the changes we make during every decade of our lives not just as we are old.
Love, love your post!
Always love what you post!
So sorry for the loss of your Mom.
Mighty Networks is a good platform! Would love to join a group when you find a platform!
Thank you I will explore.
BRAVA!
I arrived at 70 about the time the pandemic was killing “elderly” people. I’m a bit annoyed that I really didn’t get to transition gracefully. Now trying to make up for lost time. I’m sure your platform could help!
Gracefully, creatively, pragmatically, excitedly, realistically!
Oh my. First I am thrilled to hear from you. Second. I could not agree more. I’m now 73 and I see the world so differently. I just lost my father last week. My mom is 94 and I know I’m facing that as well. I will read your message over and over to find strength moving forward.
My condolences on the loss of your father. In her loss my mother has given me a new source of strength. I feel that is her legacy, something more for me still do do, but on my terms as she lived the last weeks of her life.
I am 73. Not concerned about fashion and makeup as before Covid. Most people are staying home and working from home. So not much concern on what your co workers are wearing, or the hair etc. So much has happened since covid. Less social gatherings. Etc. So I think this has hurt the way we dress. More casual and lounging apparel now exists.
Love to see your looks .
Yes, there is work to be done on what a post covid style means is and how it fits with life now including retirement, or still working. Time for some inside out styling because I’m not feeling inspired by mainstream fashion except perhaps menswear.
Wonderful to see you in my email! I missed you and you ALWAYS look fabulous. I turned 59 in June and was quickly reminded recently how our bodies constantly change as we age but they seem to lump it all together for a few years then one morning you wake up and you swear you have a different body from the night before. I’m sorry about your mom but am glad to hear you are giving yourself some grace. Congrats on the completed kitchen and I, too, look forward to reading your words in your new book.
Yes, it’s so interesting that evolving body. I recently woke up with a pot belly, trying to be nice to it and to me. Trying to figure our how that impacts what i decide to put on everyday. Perhaps a good blog post!
I can only attest to agreeing with the comments already posted and will not repeat them. I’ve been watching and learning about the Modern Elder Academy – interesting. Also, a group called the Third Act is bringing together the “seasoned” elders to support a variety of social/political issues – also interesting. I’ve used Mighty Networks with a few groups that I have memberships in (paid and unpaid), and I like the platform. It really helps to be off the FB/IG social medial platforms. So freeing. Keep inspiring us!!!
Thanks for the suggestions will investigate.
Have missed you, please don’t stay away so long. Can’t wait for the book.
Will try to post more in between chapters. May also be asking for some feedback.
I missed you and was so excited to see your update! Your words resonate with so many.
Thanks Deborah.
Hi Lyn,
I first became aware of your blog some years ago on a return trip from Japan, there you were in an in-flight magazine looking so understatedly cool. I thought “Who is this woman? I need to know more!” I would have been in my early/mid 50’s, I’m now just turned 61.
Interestingly I have never subscribed to any social media platforms -FB, Twitter, Insta. Your blog is the only one I subscribe to. Your posts resonate with me, I appreciate your honesty and perspective, so I would be more than happy to join a membership platform.
It’s hard when you lose your Mum, it’s like losing a part of yourself. I lost my Mum 40 years ago when I was 21, I think of her every day and wish I could have had her with me during the different stages of my life. I would have loved her advice and perspective. The most important lessons she taught me were to be kind and to persevere when life gets tough.
Thanks Lyn, look forward to your next post.
Thank you Bridget and thank you for sharing your story of loss as well as being such a loyal follower.
I agree with just about all of the positive comments before me and applaud your new direction. Two new subscription news/culture/style-related “newsletter-ish” services that have recently caught my eye are Katie Couric’s Wakeup Call,(free, so adsy, and https://airmail.news/issues/2022-7-16 Airmail from Graydon Carter. Airmail.news is a paid subscription, but if you turn down their first offer, they’ll come back at half price. Maybe I misunderstood what you are thinking of, but they might be worth a look. I do hope you won’t go over to Instagram since I just plain don’t understand it.
Cheers! Love the new hairdo.
Thanks for the suggestions!
Love your posts. And the new hair!! I can’t keep up with all the social media stuff so I am thankful for your newsletters.
I’ll stick with the newsletter in the short term. Book is due to my editor early Fall so probably around then would I do something new.
I LOVE your new cut.
It becomes the youngness in you!
I have nothing to contribute.
I will wholly consider whatever you decided to do, as I enjoy following you journey.
Thanks Patricia!
Hi. I’m glad I decided to check my emails today. I very seldom do with so many things going on. I would love to be a part of whichever platform you choose that best fits. Free or upfront payment I’m all in. Would love to see your new kitchen.
Thank you!
So glad to have you back. It’s fascinating abetting older – we are so much more in the moment. Stay fabulous x
” I have realized that it is not aging itself that must be resisted but rather what society makes us think about aging. ” so spot on I am really looking fwd to reading your book .Re your fwd thinking ideas ,,,,,FANTASTIC ..I am so there for them ….You are an inspiration thank you so much….love
Thanks so much Cheryl
Yes indeed!
You cut your hair! I am still at it…. Not willing to give up now that I can wear braids! You look wonderful, relaxed and no matter what length your hair, sophisticated, yet cute. I too have become overwhelmed by the world’s events. I have not given up on expressing my voice or standing in protest, but I now prefer to focus on directly on my community. Community, not being my city, but my neighborhood. How and what can I do to bring joy or how we as a community can work towards a healthy, safe and fun place to live.
I always smile when I see a new post from you and read it immediately! I for sure will be buying your book! As for platforms to use, email works great! As for paying, it’s always hard to know what “moderate” means. But you are certainly worth whatever it takes to keep your honest voice circulating the world!
Peace!
Yes but on a hot day like today I wish I didn’t! Many of us are going local it’s a good way to keep from being overwhelmed with the dysfunction of most of our institutions right now. The price will be minimal perhaps $5 and no cost for those on fixed incomes no questions asked.
Could you please edit out my email address? The filters disappeared so I put my email where my name should have gone. I tried to go back and edit and couldn’t find out how.
Thanks!
I’ll see what I can do.
Lyn
I was so happy to see your post today! If you decide to move to a subscription platform I will definitely sign up. I have never been a social media person at all….no Facebook, no Twitter, no tiktok (is that social media?), no istatagram, no nothing! I am 76 years old and have no need to spend time on things that are of no importance to me or my life. Please continue your blog, please show us your kitchen (if it is not too invasive to ask such a thing) and please continue your fashion comments. My philosophy is “be the best you can at whatever age you are”….and part of that for me is being current in fashion but not trying to look like some 35 year old.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother; mine died 8 years ago at the age of 93 and I miss her every single day; it never gets easier.
Thank you for you lovely comment. And yes I will share photos of my kitchen and my little powder room off it we did as well. Heading next to the upstairs bathroom and new front door and sidelights. We are taking on the dining room, hallway and all other cosmetics ourselves. Contemplating putting french doors between two smaller rooms upstairs to allow for one larger room if necessary. It’s our retirement project!
Great to see you back – I have really missed your enthusiastic musings.
Sorry for the loss of your mother and I understand that it takes a while to come to terms with it.
At 74 I am just ‘ getting on with life’ here in Australia
Ageing can’ t be changed so I am embracing it in my own way.
Dress how I like, engage with my community, volunteer my time, appreciate and enjoy family and be grateful for what I have.
I’d love to see your book and look forward to what you decide to do next
.
Thank you. Love the embracing age concept, we need “how to” conversations about doing so.
Leslie Modena described a life close to mine. I retired at age 64, but mainly because the usual work outlets closed to me with the 2030 shutdown and trying to avoid COVID. I ended up working part-time at no pay but they are my own dear grandchildren that I care for, so there is a lot of fulfillment there. Finding time for my own creative work is almost as challenging still.
I have used Mighty Networks groups created by three entities very different from each other, and like that I am only looking at something I want, when I want. If a small subscription keeps out ads, that helps me too! Substack is also a good place for written work, though apparently only by subscription. Two creatives I know have used Patreon; one is trying to support the extensive video work she is sharing.
Thank you for all the suggestions. Grandchildren are so motivating whether it’s doing something to support them as you are or wanting to make change so they will have a better future.
Your post is quite refreshing! I am 65 and just retired from my teaching career (5th grade). I am in a transitional stage and did not want to become another “entrepreneur” with a product or something to sell/convince others about so that I could hold my head up as still “productive.” After much soul-searching, I am beginning to look into volunteering where I can use my gifts and make a difference in the lives of those who need it. I am totally interested in a paid membership to whatever type of media that you use to continue this wonderful conversation. (BTW – the other comments here are so intelligent and hopeful. That is what I’m looking for!)
My followers are so articulate and thoughtful which has always been the joy of writing this blog, it is a transaction, I get a great amount of wisdom from the comments which in turn inspires my writing. The comments are as good as or even sometimes better than the blog!
I am glad you are well and still evolving. This was a really interesting post, as usual. You always look chic, no matter what you wear and I like the sparkle in your eye.
I have been trying to do the whole Instagram thing, and am resenting the pressure to produce video to gain traction, for our business or blog or whatever. I would like for this trend to come and go, which I’m sure it will.
Please let us see the kitchen, if you feel so inclined.
As for the membership platform, I cannot help you. All the ones I know are politics and journalists, which I would NOT think you want. I am eager to see what you come up with.
Thanks and yes I will share photos of the kitchen! My house is taking shape slowly as whoever I am newly becoming is.
Hi Lyn,
Hello from Northern California. I agree with so much that’s been said here…..I think the pandemic created a more introspective me. I’ve lost several friends in the last few years; I will be 77 soon. Aging has created a preciousness that I can’t describe. I feel everyone who has shared this journey with me has somehow helped me (even if it might look like hindering) become who I am. I still need a great haircut and all my hats and bags, but my clothing is much simpler; crisp white shirts with pants and skirts. I donated quite a few items recently. I love remodeling, gardening, books, cooking and being with family and friends. I would love to follow you on another form of connection. I have disconnected from FB and Instagram. Looking forward to your book. And, I too, would love to see your new kitchen.
I find that many of us were irrevocably changed during the pandemic when we gave ourselves time to reflect rather than baking sour dough bread indulging in multiple new activities to distract ourselves or use the time wisely to take stock which I feel the universe was telling us to do. I can never go back, nor will I ever be the same.
This was a nice surprise to find you here today. I have always been interested in what you have going on and now I feel especially connected. I just realized I am two years behind you in age (a June birthday also) and I lost my mother (my world revolved around her) in May.
I’m looking forward to the book also. I have lots of time to read now.
Thanks for inspiring me to think about, and feel empowered regarding, the future.
So sorry for your loss, it is the season I guess and trying to get ready for the upcoming ones in my generation. In some ways it’s a big relief to accept my own dying and have some control over how I want that to be and letting my loved ones know before the fact. We need to feel empowered, inspired and creative when it comes to our futures.
Oh what a joy to see your email – I thought my old laptop had failed me and you were forever lost!
Seeing your new look was like a breath of fresh air Lyn – that you have given yourself breathing space since the loss of your Mom and in the “letting go” a new era arrives. Love the suggestion of discussion group and interest based conversations.
I have never subscribed to Facebook or Twitter
in fact your newsletter is the only one that had ever sparked any interest for me. You always manage to say what sometimes I find hard to admit to in this process of ageing. I suppose I have even pulled myself away from groups of my own age when the conversation gets to “in our day…” usually comparing the younger generation.
I read a variety of fiction and non-fiction and question my reactions to things – hopefully it expands my understanding of others in different circumstances.
I agree that in combining the experience of older women with the imagination of younger women
will be a great jumping off point to what Can Be.
Thank you, it is good to be back. We need to have different conversations as older people and not pit ourselves against other generations which dilutes our power.
I enjoy reading your post and blog. Your sense of fashion and the way you are photographed is beautiful. Also enjoy your perspective and thoughts which some I agree with and some I don’t but make me think. I think different perspectives help you grow. I am deeply sorry about your loss and understand that journey. I look forward to continuing on this journey with you.
Please edit my last name, auto fill.
I’ll try and figure it out.
Thank you and I hope we can model the kind of civil discourse you suggest. Considering different perspectives expands our horizons and is desperately needed in this polarized time.
I was thrilled to see your post. I have missed hearing from you. We are just a month apart in age and you have such similar ideas about looking forward and being positive rather than all the doom and gloom spouted by so many. I appreciate your candor and always enjoy your posts. I am not up on all the venues but would certainly be interested in joining the conversation when you are established. BTW – you look FANTASTIC!!! So good to see you back – I have thought of you often and wondered how you were coping with the loss of your mother.
Kind thoughts to you always!
Thanks so much Betty.
I too just lost my sweet mom, she was 94, I’m 65. It’s made me rethink working, my spending on clothes and shoes, aging, appearance, friends, making art.
Thank you for being honest about the time and energy it takes to keep up a presence on social media. I love this post.
So sorry for your loss, losing your mother is a hard thing regardless of what the relationship may have been like.
Mighty Networks is a great platform and I highly recommend it. I am in a group now that utilizes this platform. I turned 72 in March and am grateful to be this age…consider the alternative! Society can only make us feel bad about aging if we let them…so let’s not!
Thanks for the suggestion and yes consider the alternative. I’ve been looking at life expectancy research and we are all not going to live as long as others based on social position. In New York City within a 2 mile radius there is a 30 year discrepancy in life expectancy based on who you are and what disparities you are subjected to because of it. It makes me not complain at all about being old!
I am very sorry for your loss. It is so difficult losing a parent.
Your writing project speaks to me. How to be Old makes sense. What does it mean to be old? I am turning 55 and my neighbor told me “You’re too old to get another job.” What does that mean? I don’t even think of myself as being old.
I am open to a membership payment. I would love to be a part of this supportive community.
You look marvelous. Be You!
Thank you and no you are never too old for a job. We need to explore manageable ways to be compensated for our contributions, when you become older you are expected to do it for free. So yes a really, really good topic purpose and work after retirement.
Yes, in so many ways. It will be interesting to see where the 70s take you … my father (a few days shy of 94) told me there’s a lot of change in the 70s. I do feel that a silver lining of COVID and being forced to slow down is recapturing aspects of life that were knocked off the perch due to being uncool and non-digital. WTF is wrong with a community group or a potluck supper? Actually, they’re great. When people really connect (not digitally, which is often very superficial) it’s a good thing.
As a mother, age 62, with two 18year-olds in the house, I can assure you that the digital existence has many social and health drawbacks. Personally, I get so much more joy from my work in visiting a local school than in Zooming with people from the exciting countries I work “in”. The digital connection is a fair stand-in, but it’s just not the same as an in-person connection.
Yes to a network. Yes to multi-generational. Yes to recognising our own power instead of allowing others to usurp it. Also YES to our 20th wedding anniversary today!
First, congratulations on your anniversary. Yes to in-person. Many of us are doing in-person at our local level and I see the purpose of the digital being to share ideas about what we are doing and to support and inspire that in-person work. Digital for me does not fully address the social isolation part of the equation. I find I am never lonely sure to my relationship with partner, family and friend IRL (in real life) but I feel socially isolated when not connecting in person, and important distinction,
Great to see your email. It sounds as though your social worker/academic self and your accidental icon self have though the process of bereavement and the pandemic metamorphosed into something that transcends both and is becoming even more interesting.
I went back to acting seven years ago after a twenty five year ‘sabbatical’ in the NHS. I needed to run away with the circus again before it was too late. No regrets at all, I had to get away from spending my days with jaded colleagues in their late fifties counting the the seconds to retirement. I’ve loved working with younger people again but it’s taken a while to establish an equilibrium and not try to maintain any illusion that at 63 I am at the same stage in my life as them. The great thing about acting is that you can carry on as long as you’re enjoying it and you’re reasonably functional. It’s so much harder for dancers.
My parents died when I was very young but the death of several contemporaries during the pandemic and the sudden shocking death of my oldest friend has shoved my own mortality in front of me with an unexpected jolt.
So, my local performers network looked at Mighty Networks but didn’t go with it. Poor customer service reports, wanting bank details up front, difficult to use if you’re not already pretty IT savvy. I think this side of the pond we’ve all become suspicious of US based platforms it’s particularly hard to verify the integrity of the founders. You probably need to think through a bit more what you want from a platform, it might not exist so you may have to get someone to develop it!
Wow thanks for this post on so many levels. I really appreciate the feedback about Mighty Networks. Maybe I just work with a web designer and see what can be done with my website as I do own that real estate. Also you have captured my feeling so perfectly about being someone more integrated since the pandemic. Perhaps she needs a new name, any suggestions?
Happy you are continuing your life journey, growing and moving forward.
I have decided it never to late to change and a full life is always developing moving on whatever age, its an adventure.
You are as always an inspiration and make me question life, never a bad thing.
Critical reflection is a lost art that is sorely needed in the world we live in right now.
Thank you for those thoughts. A membership community sounds like a relieve and freedom outside social medias hustle!
While I am actually back in Paris, my city, I don’t enjoy it any longer in the same way I did when I was younger. Aging has to do with it but also lack of communities, harsh city like many big cities to live in – unless wealty with a house in the country. I often imagine coming back to the US to age in a smaller communitie that would have a mix of young and not so young people, but international wouldn’t hurt either. Also closers to nature. My friends tell me I am crazy to want “to go age” in the US since health care is such a burden there. But that’s not what sums up aging, isn’t it… I loved the open mind of the older women I had met in the US during my almost 30 years living there. An energy and a way to live in the present that is hard to find in France. I am 64 and still got 2 teens to help getting on a road : I do wish that had grown up in a smaller involved commlunity!
While communities are geographic we can also create one here. It’s so interesting to hear your thoughts because I find women from outside the US to be somewhat more open to different ideas, point is we all have something unique to contribute as context most certainly shapes both how we age and how we think about aging.
Good to hear from you. I turned 60 last year mid pandemic, no big celebration of life as there was at turning 40 and again at 50. I feel as if I have missed out and although my hobbies keep me busy and I enjoy meeting up with friends again as the world opens up but it doesn’t feel the same. I want to travel again but realise that time is becoming limited so want to prioritise those adventures while realising that my pensions will only go so far. I was offered a temp job last week but turned it down as it would be a distraction in my life. My glass blowing hobby keeps me learning but I won’t be able to do it for ever, it’s hard on the body. I have my health and enough money to fulfill some more dreams but I’m also aware that the time ahead is limited and that makes me sad.
I think what you are talking about is that there will be different phases of aging for us each with it’s own special opportunities and challenges. I want to be able to accept what those changes will be and to plan for and find equally pleasurable but different activities to substitute. So when your body can’t handle glass blowing any more what might be next that’s creative and exciting but something your changing body can accommodate? How will we use our time ahead even if it may be shorter than how long we have already lived so that each day is full and wonderful and allows for room for unexpected pleasures? All great conversations to have.
Welcome back! Your thoughts and insights resonate completely w/ me. Will support avidly whatever you decide to do. Patreon looks interesting. See George Hahn’s approach w/ them. He broadcasts his content there in what seems to be a simple and straightforward process. Would be delighted to support you and your work. Your voice this morning was a breath of fresh air! Welcome to the white shirt/black pants club, my uniform for decades! Have a glorious day!
Thanks for the suggestions, I will look into these as well. I want something easy, user friendly that allows for growth of ideas of how we’ll communicate and what we can do on it.
your words are always inspirational as expected. and what I love the most is you reflect all the time and be true to your guts. the idea of membership platform is nice, but surely i have been always reluctant to sign up one just to save the fuss. pls make the procedure of signing up as a member as easier and quicker as possible. i’ve seen people use Patreon, might be an option. they seem to include video content, one of my favorite channel is easyfrench, they have three awesome girls teaching French. and if the membership platform difficult to realize, i would suggest focus on this blog and Instagram, they have a better visual effect than facebook and twitter. All the best.
Thanks for the insight, I will make sure that whatever I decide is the easies platform to enter and use. Also very interested in keeping visuals part of the concept. Instagram is so very annoying right now so different than when I first started using it when it was so inspirational, now its all ads and algorithms and most of the time my followers never see when I post because I am not doing it several times every day.
I’m with everybody, so no sense in rewriting. I agree, more talk on my age group as I’m 73 and I love it up to a point. I want to see more on fashion, working. My sympathy on your mother. I’d be interested in a platform fee but tiny. I had a tiny stroke in January so that woke me very fast. My diet and my thinking has changed. I might say for the better.
We have very much more to talk about and I might add contribute. My thinking has shifted with the death of my mother so I hear you. Happy the stroke was a tiny one. I will always be free to those who are on a tight budget and my loyal followers for sure.
Nice to see your post. at 81 I am trying to remain active and involved in my community in meaningful ways. I often feel I am pushing back on society’s perception of who I am and what my role should be. I am looking forward to your book.
Yes, that perception needs to change and we are the generation to change it.
I’m in on the subscription, and did you cat your hair? Mine gets longer, and the extreme whiteness and length sre not the fashion accessories I thought they would be. If I keep it bundled back into a braid, what is the point of the length?
I did cut it but now that we are having a sort of heatwave I’m wishing I kept it long so I could put it up and on top of mu head!
What a pleasure and a relief to read your thoughts about aging. Bette Davis’s famous quote (Aging is not for sissis) is taking its real sense. Thank you for sharing your appreciation and worries about getting older. It’s a surprising burden for someone like me who was forever young or it seemed so. I will for sure be part of your community when time comes to subscribe. Your incredible wisdom is due to help us all get through this tunnel of life leading – I hope – to Light…
Yes there are so many parts of being older that are wonderful and glorious but others that are not. Being real about it allows for creativity in how we respond to the challenges.
💙Good to know you are Okay!💙
Thanks!
Thank you for this fantastic post. I hope to integrate it into one of my classes this fall. There are many interesting platforms to consider. WordPress offers some great options for free. Google offers some affordable ways to connect including their own zoom like tool. Microsoft offers a teams software tool with the features you’ve described but is a bit more pricey. You could use an LMS tool like Moodle that is free, too. There are a couple other groups like one that has been affiliated with Life Universities, Compassion Integrity Training that offers class/group promotional activities and associated web hosting.
Thank you for considering ways we can build community rather than split it. The book Art of Community is a helpful tool.
Dearest Lynn,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. I always enjoy your posts. I took on a pandemic project that continues to grow. I learned how to create a website and podcast. Our goal was to create an intergenerational space. Please feel free to visit the site. Would love to hear your thoughts and maybe we could collaborate (www.YourCoolAunts.com)
Looking foreward to your new work.
Thanks again.
Barbara B
I’ll definitely check it out, thank you.
Thanks for all these wonderful suggestions.
A deep forehead to the ground bow in your direction. Thank you for making this turn in your direction and shining your brilliance into the world.
I have spent my life leading inter-general Women’s Circles., and recently started an Elders Circle.
I now add your blog to our resource lists.
Thank you for your work in the world.
Wonderful work you are doing. The only intervention that has any evidence when it comes to impacting agism is intergenerational contact.
Welcome back, Lyn. Great post.
I look forward to your new book.
Thank you!
So good to read your blog today! It came at the perfect time. Please keep it up……..I need your inspiration! Happy to see you smiling, also!!! I am up for participating in your new endeavor. Things are bleak here in Texas.
Oh yes, please stay cool and safe and thanks for the support.
Dear Lyn,
So wonderful to see you “still here.” Your message resonates, as always. And yes, yes, yes to a new platform and more connection, communication, contribution.
Thanks for the feedback!
Thank you.
Welcome back — so glad to read this post, which resonates in so many ways with me. I’m your age, and as a longtime newspaper columnist and peacemaker, I now focus on providing useful, upbeat, and thought-provoking daily content on my own blog. It’s a wonderful way to stay in touch with friends and readers. I don’t accept advertising and I don’t worry about how many people view it — but I get lots of positive email every day.
I quit Facebook and Twitter, which I found both depressing, antagonistic, dangerous, and time-wasting — and stopped worrying about “how many friends and followers” I have. Quality versus quantity. I spend more time creating what I think has value to others, and a lot less time promoting myself.
All of this has contributed to my overall feeling of satisfaction and well-being. As a (former) caregiver to my parents, I learned that I can take better care of others, generally and specifically, if I take better care of myself.
Self-care is critical.
Lyn, thank you for this. Lovely to read your words. I look forward to your book.
Have you looked at Substack? I am following Patti Smith and I love the form. Best from the West (of Australia).
I have been approached by Substack but I’m looking for a platform that can allow my community to have zoom calls, conversations with each other, on-line classes so we have options as we have conversations about what our needs are.
So nice to see you again! I’m 68, so skipping along right behind you. Love the hair, the glasses, the face, the fashion, the attitude – check, check, check, check, check – but, more importantly, love your attitude and your words! So sorry about your mother.
It took some time but I have finally accepted that my body may ache a bit if pushed harder than usual; my hands now are not as strong; and the mirror is a tool I choose to use pretty quickly. I am going through a huge wardrobe shift – selling and donating. I look at my home with the desire to change almost everything. I am adjusting my response to work demands from knee-jerk to logical — being self-employed allows that. Most of my important friends are younger which I enjoy immensely, and I have chosen to accept new friendships as they come my way. But they come less frequently now.
Throughout my life, I shied away from “community” but now appreciate what that can offer. I suppose I always thought I might not have enough to offer back. But simply knowing that about myself is growth. I am seeking community where I am truly comfortable. That’s hard to find.
I still enjoy fashion… and so very , very, very annoyed that my body does not allow me the freedom I once had with fashion.
Looking forward to hearing more from you!
Thanks Denise, community is really crucial for us right now as there is an epidemic of both young and older people feeling alone.
Hello!!! I’m Grace, you excellent models, I’m smiling for you
Thanks Grace.
Good to hear from you. Agree with your thoughts about Facebbook, etc. and love your idea!
Good to have you onboard.
It is so easy to get caught up in social media and doom scrolling. There is so much negativity, darkness and chaos right now. I think it would be great to have a place to meet with like minded people. What can we do for the future of our children and grandchildren?. Discuss how to change the perception of what it is like to grow old in the U.S. these days. How do you accept the changes that aging brings, but not turn into a rigid “old” person? This sounds like a great idea.
It is so easy to get caught up in social media and doom scrolling. There is so much negativity, darkness and chaos right now. I think it would be great to have a place to meet with like minded people. What can we do for the future of our children and grandchildren?. Discuss how to change the perception of what it is like to grow old in the U.S. these days. How do you accept the changes that aging brings, but not turn into a rigid “old” person? This sounds like a great idea.
I think you nailed the issue on the head, we need to create new models for aging because the ones that exist are very limited. Either you’ll be frail, demented and lonely or winning weightlifting contests at 96. The reality is much more complex and nuanced, just like any other time of life there are opportunities and challenges.
Hi there from Germany,
thank you for writing! I missed you and your touching thoughts – very important for myself.
Good to see that you’re ok 😀 Your new cut looks fabulous-whow!
Looking forward to your book – and when will we see any pictures from the new kitchen?
Have a good time, take care
Heidi
I’ll post some photos soon. It’s a very happy kitchen!
Thanks Heidi.
Lynn welcome back! Inspiring as always. Looking forward to your book and whatever comes next.
Glad to have you aboard.
I just loved your style always. You always have the appropriate style without even trying. It’s just you. That’s what I love!
Keep on keeping on!
Terese. 🙂
Thanks.
Lyn, it’s clear you are beloved by many! Thank you for your honest appraisal again. You speak for many of us! Best to you as you explore new platforms but please know you have quite a reach and affect!
I so appreciate your post. I am 67 years old and navigating through all the muck in the world right now, remaining positive, I suppose. I would love a subscription based program that delves into all sorts of things. Please keep us posted!
Absolutely, we need to mak an uninterrupted space to have these conversations.
Lyn, it’s clear you are beloved by many! Thank you for your honest appraisal again. You speak for many of us! Best to you as you explore new platforms but please know you have quite a reach and affect!
Thank you for this I find it very motivating when reminded of this. I think there is much we all have to talk about.
I love that you wore coral lipstick!! When my mom passed and I was choosing what to keep from her archeological pile of 82 years, I was horrified and amused to find 20 tubes of same brand same color coral lipstick in her dresser drawer. I just cleaned my bathroom guest closet and lo and behold I had 4 tubes of same color. I kept 2 lol. Life is a circle. You’ll miss your mom and one day be able to laugh at the memories. I love your posts. Thank you and wear color!
Thanks for sharing that Jenny. I find myself being very much like my Mom despite my attempts when younger to not be anything like her!
Dear Lyn,
It’s nice to read how creative you deal with age! Everyone has their own view of aging, but yours is most in line with my own idea about this, it makes me happy that there are still people who have a broader view of this fact.
Good for you that your kitchen is ready, it must be a pleasant experience to prepare delicious meals, good luck!
I look forward to your book!
Thank you for this wonderful post!
Thank you for always being so responsive and yes I cooked my first meal in it the other day and it was wonderful!
Hi Lyn,
This is Wendy Packer from Fashion Over Fifty. Your blog article is exactly how I have been feeling. You and I are the exact same age if your birthday is in June. Mine is in May. You probably don’t remember but I commented to you on IG how hard it was for me to lose my mom, and I encouraged you to be kind to yourself. I lost identity when I lost my mom, for a couple of years. I don’t know if that happened to you, but it is definitely life shifting. 69 has hit me hard as well. I love this blog because you describe it so well. When I started about 9 years ago, I was rebellious in some ways too. I was also angry that we were labeled as “old” at 58 or 59. Looking back, that is still pretty young. It is in your 60’s that life somehow does change. Hitting 70, we can no longer deny that we are “older”. Anyway, some day I would love to have coffee or tea with you. I am in NYC until Aug. 6. I don’t know if you will even read this by then, or if you will be coming in to the city. We have so much in common and you are so eloquent and you describe what I am feeling so accurately. I am sorry I didn’t know you while you were in NYC. You became “famous” so quickly and you were the perfect spokesperson for our demographic. When IG. became about portraying my life as “exciting” or “more” than what it was, I struggled with that. I also wasn’t getting paid very much. Anyway, this blog resonates with me so deeply. Wishing you the best on this journey we call life. It is a journey, and thanks for helping to describe it so well. Best wishes, Wendy
Hi Wendy,
Glad that my writing resonates. Yes I do remember your advice and that is what I have tried to do. I’m staying close to home at the moment as there are renovations and others things I am attending to here in my new little city. Perhaps another time we can meet for coffee or on a zoom.
Hello! Believe it or not a friend and I were just talking about you the other day and here you are! Nothing is a coincidence. As to the platform how about Substack? I subscribe to the wonderful Suleika Jaoud on Substack for a mere $6 a month. Once a month she has a zoom chat where everyone gets together to write and when she was well she did author interviews. It’s wonderful. Don’t know if that would fit what you’re looking for. Happy to see you again.
Thanks I also subscribe to Suleika and love the idea of zoom meetings and interviews. Does she do the Zoom chat through Substack?
Welcome back
I always look forward to reading your blog
I look forward to your new book
Thank you, I’ll try to post more regularly on the blog.
Great to read what you’re up to Lyn. I feel I’m reaching the same point as you with regard to dressing, having just turned 67. While I’m not quite ready to let go of my “I’ll wear that when I retire and have no constraints on what I can wear” items I find more and more I want to spend my time in wide legged, loose fitting pants or jeans and oversized tops. And retirement seems to keep slipping out of reach as the looming recession bites.
I understand your desire to use a more streamlined and suitable platform for your ideas, however when I retire anything that costs me and isn’t an absolute necessity will be a luxury I’ll not be able to afford. Until then I’ll enjoy reading your words as you deliver them. I love the idea of like minded folk discussing what can be, rather than what is 😊
I too have recession and inflation concerns as I hit 70 and fixed income time. Another good topic. Any site I have will always be free to those followers who want to join but have financial constraints, no questions asked!
hello Lyn
have you looked at Old School?
I’m so glad you’re back, missed you, don’t care what your kitchen looks like, nor your hair( always looks great anyhow)
it’s the spirit that counts, and all the things you find to write about that resonate with so many of us
thank you.
Thanks for what you said about my writing, I’ve been working hard on it.
Such a wonderful surprise to open my e-mail and to see “Accidental Icon” appear. Loved your post, so very true about aging. Last week, we buried 1 of our cousins. We looked at each other and said, our parents are all gone and now we will start to bury each other. It was morbid, it was almost a declaration that we need to get busy and live the rest of our lives to the fullest!!!! Thank you for your post!!!!
Sorry for you loss and yes I and some of my cousins had the same realization when my mom died, we were next up at bat!
Dear Lyn,
Thank you for sharing your words and life. I see a lovely spiritual vein that people can relate to.
Cutting my long silver hair also! You are an inspiration and a fine communicator!
peace, karen
Hi Lyn,
I’m Rachel (62).
Love your interesting blog.
Love your inspiring style.
Love the idea of a platform and interest-based conversations on zoom.
Waiting for news…
I am so looking forward to your book and your future posts. I am your age and have avoided using the “o” word (old) but certainly we are aging and it is good to be realistic about it while continuing to keep our lives vibrant.
Yes we can be both aspirational and realistic.
I’ve missed your posts so much.. your amazing photos that you used to postbox IG.. your fascinating stories about the move, leaving the fashion world behind
I’m two years older than you.. cannot believe how my life /the years…,seem to just have flown
I’ve been reinventing myself daily, with nutrition (intermittent fasting) QiGong .. meditative movement.. learning something new, every day)
Just trying to find peace.. I never had that when I worked a frantic job)
So happy to receive this letter from you
You and Calvin look so rested, peaceful, calm.
Please don’t stay away too long
Would love to see more artful photos from you.. somewhere.
You have an amazing gift for capturing light sources on common objects, places.
Not fade away
Much love and admiration
RK
Thank you, I have been chasing light around my new kitchen, outside too. Will post more of them.
Your blogs are always refreshing Lyn. Thank you.
Re: Mighty Networks – I am a member of 4 communities there. What is obvious to me is the amount of work to maintain the engagement (not one of the communities I am part of do it well) and also that I have to log into each community separately. It would work so much better if I had a Mighty Network dashboard so – like Facebook – I could see all the groups I am part of.
If community if your end result great but I wonder if it is a necessary pre-requisite inspire us to apply ‘all our imagination and creativity to the visioning of new solutions and designs that enhance and support us throughout the lifecycle.’ ….. you do a great job already through your blog – maybe there is something simpler to consider.
Thanks for this, food for thought.
I found this fascinating as like many I struggle with being older (70) but still working as an architect because I love what I do. My younger associates keep me engaged as they challenge, inspire and delight me. But it is women of my own generation who truly know me. Finding others who want to contribute, to learn and engage with life would be wonderful.
Yes, this would be a kind of “work” for me to facilitate and build.
Lyn: great to see you again. Condolences on the loss of your mother. Your thoughts resonate with me. I’m now on my way to 76 and while I would love to ‘remain young’, the reality is that I am slowing down. I’m ok with slowly down and thinking about the next ? years. I have passions that keep me going: my love of painting and my husband and close friends. I already have an art group that I Zoom with weekly and I indulge in mentoring sessions when I can. I’m not sure how active I could be in another discussion group but I do love your blog. You help keep me sane, along with Heather Cox Richardson.
Thanks so much Sally.
I was pleased to see you pop up in my email. What you said about harnessing the wisdom, creativity, and experience of both older and younger women would result in a force to be reckoned with. I am turning 70 in October and have given much thought to this beautiful thing called life and my place in it going forward. I would love to be a part of a community of purposeful, joyful, creative and kind women who make an impact. I would support your membership plan and echo others who prefer an upfront payment.
I love this post and it resonates with me so very much, as I am re-emerging and reinventing myself in this post-COVID/WTF world we’re living in. Thank you for all you share and for helping us who are aging to fight the inevitable attempt by society to make us invisible. I am not going out like that! Can’t wait to see the kitchen. I do love a good home improvement project! 🙂
Wonderful post! Many times your words echo my own thoughts and feelings (minus the excellent fashion sense you have!) Turning 66 in August and it’s only lately that I am coming to the realization of my “aging!” Could be because for the past year I am parenting my parent, my mother. The covid shutdown along with the state of society have knocked me back. Trying to find my place again. A work in progress. Looking forward to the new platform. And definitely looking forward to your book.
Hey Lyn, Thank you for this honest and thoughtful post. I love how our processes in making something, like you with your book, can provide us with clarity, and even revelations at times. I can’t wait to read it. You’re so inspiring!
As for membership platforms, Patreon seems to be one of the most popular. As you know, I’ve left Instagram and other social platforms (sort of…I left my profiles up and might pop by for an occasional “visit”) and just do my newsletter, but I haven’t explored membership myself. I hope you find something that works for you!
Have missed you! But, you always come back stronger than ever, and as I am sure many others feel, can totally relate to your comments. Wishing you a great 69th year!
As always, I enjoy reading anything you write…very conversational and you have an authentic way of connecting! I will be 67 in October and have just released an all original 4 song Rock/Blues EP …not promoting, just sharing that I feel empowered at this age and continue to relate to how you approach your own life! I want to connect with women that are living their lives with purpose and encourage others to do the same! Congrats on your many projects!! Onward and Upward!
Seems like a reasonable idea to find, some type of platform like that. I hope something turns up.
I have learned so much from you, you always inspire me to do better, feel better and keep on going. I’m so excited about your book and what you are planning. I would do love to be a part of it. There are so many things in todays life I want to change, help improve, find solutions. I’m not in the same world, so to speak as a lot of you seem to be, as far as extended education or financial stability. I will be 67 in September and yes, I have felt all the changes, inside and out, that you speak of.
Looking forward to joining this group and reading your book. Thank you Lyn for your kindness, realness and inspiration. Joy
You wrote: “I have realized that it is not aging itself that must be resisted but rather what society makes us think about aging.”
Yep, you got that right!
Hi there, just arrived here. I write about interior design in a brazilian lifestyle blog, which featured you on 2019, celebrating over 60 modern women. That particular post had a comment today and I like to read all comments (even tho I can´t approve cause it was written by the owner) and there was the magic of good writing, went by Constanza post, opend links and I´m glad I did.
You´re trully inspirational. I´m also tired of being in someone´s platforms doing things that are not creative, doesn´t make any sense, just because we need our clients to find us (in my case).
But the most perfect sentence for me was ” I sat at a table with others having a vision for what could be, rather than talking endlessly about what is.”
We need more people like this, who wants a change, not only talks.
Thank you.
Thank you!
I hope you find a suitable platform. Whatever you choose, don’t forget those of us who like to stay in touch with you from the UK. I enjoy reading about how you slip and slide your way through life and its trials, and how that affects how you present yourself externally. I’d be a happy subscriber, or would do that ‘Buy me a coffee’ thing.
I have so many wonderful participants outside the US that international capability is a must have.
I’ve quietly enjoyed your articles for a few years now. I love your writing. I look forward to your book.
You asked about alternative social media. I’ve explored the following:
WT.Social: An alt-Twitter, started by the Wikipedia guy “The non-toxic social network”: https://wt.social
Stimulus: Also an alt-Twitter, asks for a verified identity, has no ads, no bots, and businesses are encouraged to do giveaways. (the company behind this makes stickers and other swag) https://www.stimulus.com
Thank you for your wisdom over the years. You are very much loved!
Thanks for the suggestion.
I’m here…for real sharing, conversation and connection. For those of us who were actively involved in our communities before covid, there is a challenge now to find a way to participate and encourage volunteerism without ignoring that the virus and risk (for the high risk person) still exists in gathering. It’s important to not be invisible or silent when so much of how our society works begins from the ground up. Nice to sit with you for a moment over my first cup of coffee.
Great!
Bravo, Lyn! I don’t have any platforms to suggest, but like you am weary of the constant “churn” of social media. I look forward to seeing where this journey takes you!
Thanks, hope you are well, you look wonderful on social media.
You nailed it – creativity at all ages! Well done and thanks for sharing!
I am so happy to see your post! I have missed you. As a 55 yr-old fashion design professor, you are my style muse! While I am a few years behind you, many of your concerns resonate strongly with me. I would gladly pay to participate in engaging conversation on a new platform. You continue to inspire me and I look forward to new possibilities with you.
Thanks!
How inspired and inspiring. Brava! I look forward to seeing the places you will go. I am embracing being a solo ager, auntie/grandmother with that fierce determination to co-create communities that work for all across generations and identities.
Inter-generational contact is such an important way to disrupt stereotypes about what it means to be old.