Freud said that the purpose of life is to work and to love, “that’s all there is.” While appreciating Freud for intuiting what I now know to be structures of the brain, for many reasons he is not my favorite analyst. What he left out, and what my favorite analyst, Donald W. Winnicott did a brilliant job of articulating, was the importance of play. For Winnicott, it is in the act of play that we find and pursue our passions and culture is created. It is how we keep the feeling of being alive inside and stay authentic and real as adults.
I most love Winnicott because he said you do not have to be a “perfect ” mother, just a “good enough” mother. When striving for perfection, or feeling guilty to the point where I am so busy and stressed I cannot breathe, I remind myself that I just need to be “good enough”. Other advice to parents in regard to creating the conditions necessary for play include: let your child be, let your child be angry and don’t make your child too compliant. Those who read me regularly might understand why he is my favorite psychoanalyst.
For “good enough” fashionistas, pajama dressing is the perfect way to work, love and do a little playing at the same time you are acknowledging your desire to be just a “good enough” fashionista today. Pajama inspired styles are easy and multifunctional. Tops can be worn alone or layered and pants can be paired with a blazer or slouchy sweater. It’s a really chic way to look dressed up and feel casual and relaxed at the same time. The pajama top is a timely update to feminine and slouchy silk blouses. Pairing it with something very structured like wide leg sailor pants make you look like you didn’t just roll out of bed. Adding a slouchy, peek-a-boo top and heels gets you nonchalantly seductive for a romantic night out. Click on the photos below to get a closer look at how I wear pajamas to work, love and play.
Accidental Icon Wears
Look 1: Work
Silk Pajama Top: Chikimiki, Black silk wide leg pants, Harvey Faircloth, Black leather tie sandals: Rick Owens
Look 3: Love
Silk Pajamas: Chikimiki, Black Silk Dress: Ann Demeulemeester, Black open toe pumps, Stuart Weitzman
Look 3: Play
Silk Pajamas: Chikimiki, Black top with lace inserts: and other stories, Sneakers CDG/Converse Play
What do you wear when you just want to be “good enough”?
You look fabulous! When I "just don’t want to get dressed" but have to be out and about on errands, I don’t look this stylish or polished; but I do strive to not be a blight on the landscape! 😀
I am sure you are well beyond a blight!
I am a huge advocate of the importance of play in our lives. This whole "you have to be an adult" all the time is stifling and tiring. I love how you tied this idea to the pyjamas. I know that I would feel waaay better than just good enough if I were wearing those gorgeous Chikimiki pyjamas.
I completely agree! When you don’t play you lose part of your true self.
I am a huge advocate of the importance of play in our lives. This whole "you have to be an adult" all the time is stifling and tiring. I love how you tied this idea to the pyjamas. I know that I would feel waaay better than just good enough if I were wearing those gorgeous Chikimiki pyjamas.
I completely agree! When you don’t play you lose part of your true self.
Love this moving image- which so artfully shows the transition of various outfits from different facets of the mind (work, love, play)
I am sure you are well beyond a blight!
Thanks Adele, it was fun to do a post that mirrors all the roles and responsibilities that we women have!
I adore all the looks. Fabulous. Great find to wear it with the structured sailor trousers. But also that dress and then the jacket knotted. Very creative.
Greetje
Thanks Adele, it was fun to do a post that mirrors all the roles and responsibilities that we women have!
Thanks for commenting, I had fun styling it. Now I have to figure out how to wear them to school like I used to when I was a student in college.
I adore all the looks. Fabulous. Great find to wear it with the structured sailor trousers. But also that dress and then the jacket knotted. Very creative.
Greetje
Thanks for commenting, I had fun styling it. Now I have to figure out how to wear them to school like I used to when I was a student in college.
I have been waiting to respond to your lovely post, which is so near and dear to my heart. First and foremost, I’ve always been an advocate for comfort in clothing and shoe wear. No matter how ineffable the design, if it’s not comfortable forget it. Second, eons ago when I was in sixth grade in Hawaii, my best friend and I would wear our favorite pajama tops with our jeans to school. No one else did this; it was not a trend, fad, style…nothing. Yet, no one seemed to notice, meaning no one made us go home feeling like total nerd-losers. To pull that off in our little world of fashion isocentrism was a marked success in my twelve-year-old mind. I was so avant-garde anyway when it came to fashion. Well, until junior high, the clutching, lifeless grip of peer pressure. Fast forward. Today I am wearing a gorgeous “robe” dress by Reformation. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was mine. You know the feeling. But, I also knew that once I wore it, it would have a protean affect. Silently, outside NYC or Philadelphia, I assumed witnesses would swear I was wearing a silk robe. Hahaha. I didn’t care. I absolutely love it. And with what shoes did I choose to wear it? Why, black Converse sneakers, of course. As the denouement of this reply comes to a close, in my dithyramb, I harken back to the protean effect: Not meaning to be insulting when he saw me wear this for the first time this evening on our anniversary (I’d been waiting for the perfect first time wearing.) and as a former amateur boxer turned Attorney, my husband said, “Wow, you look fantastic! That looks like a boxer’s robe; you know the robe a fighter wears before he enters the ring?” I loved that because a boxer’s robe certainly takes on a completely different meaning than a robe, say, Jack Nicholson wears about while smoking his cigar and putting golf balls in his backyard. Though, I’d hang out with Mr. Nicholson any day. Finally, as one that needs to be more playful with fashion, I loved your post, I love my “boxer” robe dress, and yes, it feels wonderful.
C.e.
http://www.whitedogluxe.com
I so enjoyed reading this, you are such a great writer, I can almost see the boxer robe. Funny, I have been hankering to wear a robe as clothes and am actually going to be on the hunt for a kimono this weekend at a vintage show.
I have been waiting to respond to your lovely post, which is so near and dear to my heart. First and foremost, I’ve always been an advocate for comfort in clothing and shoe wear. No matter how ineffable the design, if it’s not comfortable forget it. Second, eons ago when I was in sixth grade in Hawaii, my best friend and I would wear our favorite pajama tops with our jeans to school. No one else did this; it was not a trend, fad, style…nothing. Yet, no one seemed to notice, meaning no one made us go home feeling like total nerd-losers. To pull that off in our little world of fashion isocentrism was a marked success in my twelve-year-old mind. I was so avant-garde anyway when it came to fashion. Well, until junior high, the clutching, lifeless grip of peer pressure. Fast forward. Today I am wearing a gorgeous “robe” dress by Reformation. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was mine. You know the feeling. But, I also knew that once I wore it, it would have a protean affect. Silently, outside NYC or Philadelphia, I assumed witnesses would swear I was wearing a silk robe. Hahaha. I didn’t care. I absolutely love it. And with what shoes did I choose to wear it? Why, black Converse sneakers, of course. As the denouement of this reply comes to a close, in my dithyramb, I harken back to the protean effect: Not meaning to be insulting when he saw me wear this for the first time this evening on our anniversary (I’d been waiting for the perfect first time wearing.) and as a former amateur boxer turned Attorney, my husband said, “Wow, you look fantastic! That looks like a boxer’s robe; you know the robe a fighter wears before he enters the ring?” I loved that because a boxer’s robe certainly takes on a completely different meaning than a robe, say, Jack Nicholson wears about while smoking his cigar and putting golf balls in his backyard. Though, I’d hang out with Mr. Nicholson any day. Finally, as one that needs to be more playful with fashion, I loved your post, I love my “boxer” robe dress, and yes, it feels wonderful.
C.e.
http://www.whitedogluxe.com
I so enjoyed reading this, you are such a great writer, I can almost see the boxer robe. Funny, I have been hankering to wear a robe as clothes and am actually going to be on the hunt for a kimono this weekend at a vintage show.