I looked in the mirror last Friday and was distressed at what looked back. My face was haggard and drawn, my hair long and stringy, my skin and eyes dull. My nails are splitting and I have been irritable and impatient. I have been stress eating things that are not even remotely considered to be organic and natural. All these things concerned me. Not because I want to be beautiful but because I want to be healthy.
There are unopened boxes all over my apartment containing clothes and beauty products that I have yet to open much less be able to think about wearing, using and creatively presenting. I have not had time to have a leisurely day with Calvin to take new photos and develop new content. Ungraded papers, curriculum grids and unanswered emails clutter my other work home. How can I offer others inspiration to be your best self when I am not taking care of and not being mine?
Don’t get me wrong I am grateful and happy about my family, my students and some of the wonderful things that have happened to me over the last year: getting to travel, meeting amazing and creative people, writing, collaborating with cultural institutions to promote understanding and tolerance. Let me not forget being asked to give a TED talk. The rest of it: not so much.
There are so many parts of this project that make me feel like a hamster running on a wheel: the constant engagement with social media, the unpredictable nature of the income, the relentless stream of emails and meetings to be “out there”, and massive amounts of images and information to consume. This endless running in circles I have determined comes from not fitting easily into a marketable category. I am not really an influencer who sells products and I am not really a model in the sense of doing traditional campaigns and advertising. Being an in-between makes it challenging to earn a reliable income. My organic, see what happens approach to this project, while successful to a point, has been such a whirlwind it has swept me away and left me without an anchor. I find I need to have one to regain control of my life.
I have been thinking and talking lately about building cities of tolerance and creativity and now I am going to add: sustainability (both in activity level and what is good for the earth). I am also going to change the order. Cities (and lives) that are Sustainable, Creative and Tolerant. I think these three prongs comprise a strong anchor for me when I need one. I can still have a be-in-the-moment and improvisational approach but I need to ask myself three questions before saying yes:
Does this activity (product/solution) promote human and natural system well-being?
Is this activity(product/solution) innovative and creative?
Is this activity (product/solution) inclusive?
I need a reset. I need to revisit where I began, now with three years of experience and knowledge of this crazy operating system called fashion, and design a sustainable life in it. So I am starting small and resetting my own body, my own home and doing it in my own city, New York. I am going to identify, learn and use new skills while doing it (like video editing and work on my sewing) as well as maximizing my iPhone’s ability to take photos of beautiful objects, spaces and people other than myself! I am going to tackle those packages but this time with my three questions in mind and perhaps some interesting ways to show them.
So stay tuned and if any of you need a reset, join me along the way.
I love your three questions, Lyn and will try to apply them to my own choices. I have to admit that , as someone who has followed you over the last couple of years( and as someone who has also worked in the fashion business ), I have worried that you were doing too much and being pulled in too many directions, so I am pleased that you are able to reset and re-evaluate .I am certainly staying with you!
Thank you so much! I am looking forward to crafting a sustainable life and hearing how others are answering the questions as well!
I feel the exhaustion in your writing. I feel the same, and although it is on a much, much smaller scale, it carries weight and importance. My big challenge has been respecting what has been happening and treating it as real and not one big cosmic joke/mistake. It IS real. It has value. But what to do with it…? – especially with pressures to go here and there. Good luck on your reset, and your sewing sounds exciting.
My goodness you verbalized exactly what I have been feeling re the cosmic joke. Perhaps the problem has been I have not wanted to own it as it seems so surreal. But as you say it is real and what responsibility comes with it?
I am such a fan of yours. I love this new”re-set” approach. I think we can all learn a lot by slowing down and asking ourselves these questions. ❤️
I am so happy I have my readers to share the reset with and to share our answers to the questions!?
I’m always resetting. That’s how I stay creative. I actually upset the ? cart on purpose. At 66 I still want to always be growing and reinventing myself. Keep them guessing.
What a great philosophy! There is no there!
i like be model too!
It has pros and cons! Start by being yourself and just be in the world.
I like the re-set approach. I think things get away from us. We look up and suddenly we are swamped. A re-set allows us to look at our daily processes and determine which ones are worth keeping and which ones are no longer moving us forward.
I have so many ideas I can tend to get lost in them. Need a sifter for my brain and these questions are a good start.
Curating through all the media spaces is like falling down the rabbit hole…pretty soon you are the thing being curated when initially it was all intended to be these fantastic pathways of learning, sharing and creativity. Well, at least that’s been my tiny-corner-of-the-interwebs space and experience. Your reset will inspire mine.
Yup feel a little like Alice! Maybe that’s why the photo of me in the woods felt so satisfying!
Best wishes on your re-set. I applaud you for recognizing, and deciding to do something about, the hamster wheel. Here is one suggestion: in labelling/visualizing the three prongs of the cities you are building, try "open and affirming" instead of "tolerant." The former goes far beyond the latter toward true inclusiveness.
What a great suggestion, thank you?
I’m sure your sewing will be relaxing and creative. It will give you a sense of satisfaction with either a garment you love wearing and/or something which at least has improved your knowledge of sewing /fabric/patterns or just a new appreciation of the whole process.
I have so many images and sketches in my head I need to get better at executing. Thanks for the support?
Lyn, this is a great post and a great analysis of your situation. I love your honesty, which speaks of strength and self-awareness. The fact you have recognised your situation will now help you re-set.
I face a similar situation with my writing career. I have had 2 careers (retired early from teaching after 30+ years and still a full-time author working on my 14th published book).
When it comes around to publicity time for books, I have to evaluate whether promotional things (such as travelling to speak at literary events, organising book launch parties, writing articles for magazines, interviews etc) are worth my time, finance and diminishing energy. Regardless of age, we are only sure of today and have to decide what is the best use of that time. My writing is hugely important to me, but so are enjoying my family, friends, travelling and hobbies.
Re-setting regularly to prioritise is the key.
Thank you Lyn, for such and honest and inspiring post!
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I congratulate you for your courage and honesty in this inspiring post. I like the reset idea very much and I’ll be grateful to join you along the way. You look exceptionally great in the picture.
By the way I had the great pleasure recently to visit your amazing city, it was wonderful.I stayed in this really cool and funky hotel the Gramercy and I loved it! Ruth, London
I am so happy to have a reset companion. Glad you had a good visit.
The photo is so apropos to the content of this post, caught in the destabilizing force of prevailing winds, refreshing and exhausting. Again, your authenticity resonates. When I desacrilize that which is most important in keeping me anchored, spirit, home, health, there is a negative energy that skews the days. Giving thanks each morning is the first remedy for me, getting spiritually centered…chapel can be anywhere. For me, these days, it’s below a golden maple that has yet to lose its leaves and continues to capture the breaking dawn within its golden lacework. Correcting any issues sabatoging the ecotopia within my physcial system is always imperative. Next is being honest, as you are, and after that, well, love. Be open to receive it, to give it to yourself, to others. After these things, it’s all chump change.
Carmen & the big dog
You write so eloquently, I can see myself under the golden maple.
Kudos to the courage to make these changes in your life. I don’t follow many fashion bloggers simply because they just don’t seem to have any ethical views on fashion or the impact on our environment. I am by no means a fashionista, I enjoy a very small wardrobe of basic pieces and I try to purchase ethical, sustainable organic pieces whenever possible.
I’m excited to read more from you and follow along on your Sustainable, Creative and Tolerant new lifestyle!
I will enjoy the company and welcome any advice along the way.
Bravo!
It’s all about taking time to enjoy and do it how you want it done….slow it down.
Looking forward to whatever you come up with.
Suzanne
Chicago
Thanks for coming all no and cheering me on!
I will absolutely look forward to what comes next, Professor.
With encouragement and love …
Kymberley in Seattle
Thank you dear!
Some years ago, when I felt like you, I bought a horse 😉 My life changed entirely. She gave me wellbeing, she asks me to be innovativ and creativ in the daily work we do together ; I don’t need an iPhone to communicate with her, I just need my body and my feelings ; I learned to be tolerant ; we don’t communicate through emails, I just put my hand on her chafer and breathe with her ; I don’t need expensive clothes to go to the barn and remove the horse manure two times a day, i just need somme horseriding pants and warm riding boots in winter ; my face has a constant smile, my hair is under a cap, my skin is radiant due to the outside living, my eyes shine when I see her, my nails are spliting too, I agree, but I don’t care, and I am nevermore irritable and impatient and I never stress ate since … I hope you find your "friend" too, he or she will show you the way to your sustainable life 😉 And pardon my english, I am french)
Thank you for sharing your lovely experience. It all goes back to and starts with the natural.
Love this 🙂 so proud of people willing to go against the grain, especially within a sustainable context !
Let’s make it a movement! Old does not mean life over, whether that is objects or people. All can be reinvented.
I often wondered, as I have watched your journey via your blog and other social media, how you were coping with the barrage of attention, products, projects, etc. How do you keep a clear head and focus on the important things with all of the pretty distractions? I can understand how a reset would be necessary to take time really decide what direction you want your path to take.
Barrage is the operative word! The reset has been life saving and life giving.