This week I have had the good fortune to experience some thought provoking interviews. For me a good interview or any kind of interaction for that matter, is one that makes me have to think. The questions usually connect what is happening in fashion and society and allow one to go deeper than, “how would you describe your style?”. This week I have been challenged to articulate why I think I might have appeal for so many women across many different demographics. I think the answer is the level of my self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is neutral. For me, It does not mean you have to love every aspect of who you are or every part of your body. In fact there are parts of my body and my personality that I do not particularly care for but that’s okay because I know that no human being is perfect. Believe me I have tried to love my ankles but still don’t, although I adore my shoulders and chest. I have worked on the things that are really important to work on and the rest…well that is just who I am. This to me is a “realer” kind of self-acceptance. I am a human being who has strengths and who has limitations and that creates the “box” I am in. So the trick becomes how to use the strengths, or in my view, your personal power, to work with your limitations in such a way that you can, when you wish, pop out of that box.
One of the reasons I adore this new generation is that they are really embracing the notion of imperfection. In a recent article I learned of the term, Gaojilian (高及脸), which has become a buzz word for Chinese millennials. It literally translates as “noble face”. It demonstrates their desire to understand beauty in a more diverse, inclusive way, defined by attitude rather than only physical attributes. It is a more intangible concept of beauty. Most importantly, this noble face does not depend on make-up for significant transformation, nor does it diminish with age. Noble faces are serious, can look androgynous and reject the smiling, flirtatiousness that creates the usual standard of a “pretty” woman. It is a backlash against the massive amounts of made-up, photoshopped and surgically rendered images of beauty that have prevailed. Believe me as a “noble face” I often get comments telling me I should smile more, or smile bigger, which quite frankly annoys the hell out of my “imperfect ” self.
The fashion system still has a very long way to go to understand what is meant by true inclusion. The system is still speaking to perfect women’s bodies, not the women inside the bodies. So now we are evolving and see diverse bodies included in magazines and on covers but they are still rather “perfect” conceptualizations of those bodies. I really do not see too many “noble faces”. We still do not get to know the real woman inside the bodies, we are just changing the shape and color of the mannequins. So I fear there will be new conceptualizations of “perfect” bodies: the of color body, the transgendered body, the aging body, the religious body.
What a glorious collaboration it would be if fashion designers, editors and creative directors really collaborated with, and listened to, the women who live inside the bodies. All the “imperfect” women who loves themselves anyway. All the noble faces.
What kinds of women do you think we would start seeing if they did?
Oh to be truly seen, heard and valued as an individual. That’s the dream goal…
Wonderful post, Lynn. Brought tears of possibility to my eyes. xx
This is a great question. And it also makes me think about the concept of ideals, which is what you mentioned with the new stereotypes of "realness" emerging. Is it possible to have a successful media/art that does not sell aspirational (often impossible-to-achieve) imagery? How will marketers prey on our insecurities then? Or will the makeup industry just boost their doesn’t-even-look-like-it’s-there product lines? Heh.
If the aspiring aspect starts to focus more on inward realness, if the new "normals" start appearing everywhere, I wonder what will be the balancing opposite to that in a yin-yang type of idea? Am I even making sense? Hahaha!
I believe we would see real women as we are: beautifully imperfect. It is an interesting question to ponder. When I was younger I fell for the "hook" of buy this and you will become that. Now that I am older, almost 63 I know that all the creams etc. in the world won’t change me one bit. Like you, there are parts of me I am not thrilled with but I work with and through it. If designers would just embrace the uniqueness of all women what wonders might they create?
I’m not sure if it’s easy to capture a ‘noble face’ in the way you mean. In general it’s easier to present it in animated manner than on a photo.
Images flitted across my mind as I read through this post. Enigmatic women in beautiful light, strength or fragility or provocation in their faces and bodies. Age beside the point, character and particularity coming through, letting all of us find something there that mirrors, inspires or puzzles us.
I’m 33, five foot five.. I love to see an average woman make it to fashion headlines. A mom ideally.. Not a sculpture faced beauty all the time.
How about a 5 ft 1 inch woman in her 60’s. Weighing 137 lbs working
Love the idea of the noble face! Too many times I have been told (by men) to smile which always infuriated me. Who tells men to smile all the time? Did they feel threatened or insecure because as a woman, I wasn’t perpetually smiling? Rather than pasting on a fake smile, I’d rather be my authentic self – sometimes serious, sometimes not – rather than having to fake it so others can feel more comfortable. The noble face represents freedom from others’ expectations of us, being our authentic selves and not having to dance to another’s tune. I’m now 63 and my husband loves all (well, most – haha) the different facets of my personality – just being me.
For the past couple of years, I have been working on a series of photo essays, trying to capture the beauty of older women hiding in our midst. As I reorganize my blog, I have struggled to name this category: "my badass friends", "octogenarian starlets", "women of substance"… . As I continue to think on this, your post about the noble face is fascinating. Thank you! (P.S. I’m a longtime admirer. You got it going on!!!)
Thank you for a great post! I also love the millennial generation (I’m a gen-Xer) because of what I learn from them, and because I think we learn from every demographic cohort. We all grow up with certain societal, cultural ideals in place and have to swim through that tide to find ourselves; sometimes swimming against the tide. I so love to see the changes that are always happening in viewpoints about so much in human life, and sexuality is clearly a huge part of that. Thank you for your ongoing reminders via writing and fashion that we are all individuals striving to grow, blossom, and express who we are. Fashion being a beautiful medium for some of that expression!
Hi Lyn,
Thank you for your latest entry, “Shedding: Notions of Perfection, and your point about self-acceptance as the reason for your appeal to women of different ages, backgrounds, etc. And you are right, since you can accept yourself as you are; you give confidence and encouragement by way of example, and along the way, little if any self-criticism. You say ‘no one is perfect.’ Therefore, I believe others may think: well if she can have this level of confidence surely I can too (so newly brave we enter our closets, try items on, scan sale racks, or make deliberate purchases). And ask: Do these clothes make me feel good? Am I at my best when I wear these items? Do I dare wear this? And so on. It wasn’t until 10 years ago I underwent a total fashion transformation. My then 23-year-old daughter gently reminded me it was time to shed my old ways of dressing and return to my former radiant self. Slowly I shed the old washwoman style of dress (raising 3 children and a full time job, left me little time) to embrace stylish clothes and own my inner self. I remember stepping into a Victoria’s Secret and Urban Outfitters for the first time. Love at first sight! Basically the change took a bit of time. I gave up my Cleopatra hair cut too, and much more. And here’s what happened: I had a bounce to my step, I felt much more confidant, much lighter, and I even shed pounds! Am I perfect? No, but dressing up does impact my mood, and does bring me joy even at 66 years young.
In today’s NYTimes, “The Dress Doctor Is In” https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/12/fashion/fashion-psychologist.html
features Dawnn Karen, a self-professed fashion psychologist who believes in “styling from the inside out.” This article resonates with some of your opinions; the issue of “ ‘the relationship between attire and attitude’ ” etc. Love to know what you think about the article. I loved it, but I still wonder why everything needs a label.
Jo
For far too long women have been sold a BILL OF GOODS. Why are we persuaded, often by deception, to accept, believe, or do something? Where is our self-confidence? There are no imperfect women, only people telling us we are imperfect for their own gain, whether it be ego or financial. Let’s stop worrying about how we look. Let’s be concerned about how we feel. Emotions before beauty.
Cara Lyn, è interessante la domanda con cui concludi le tue riflessioni. Vorrei aggiungerne anche io qualcuna. Ebbene io credo che i designers, gli editors e i creative directors, semplicemente non esisterebbero più se potessero accorgersi delle "women who live inside the bodies". E ciò per un motivo molto semplice: le donne che abitano i loro corpi, quelle che si amano per ciò che sono, semplicemente non hanno alcun interesse a seguire qualsiasi tipo di dettame possa essere "impartito" dai suddetti. E, perdonami, ma anche tu non esisteresti, se il mondo fosse popolato interamente dal tipo di donne di cui auspichi possano accorgersi coloro che "dettano le regole". Da tale presupposto discendono ovviamente molte logiche conclusioni…
I think people are drawn to those who appear to have achieve self-acceptance, who are comfortable and confident in who they are. One of the best moments of my adult life was when I met Jean Paul Gaultier at the Brooklyn Museum, and he told me that I looked like a woman who was comfortable in her own skin. I think I was wearing a pretty wacky outfit at the time, but he saw right through that to the essence of me.
I am intrigued, and encouraged by the idea of the "Noble Face". There are many of us who have never been conventionally pretty, and who have been told countless times by strangers to "smile!" However, I have been complimented on my attitude, and to me, confidence, self-acceptance and a smattering of attitude will always draw my attention over "pretty" any day.
I would see me.
I would see you and really everyone if we were darring enough to share the heroic journey of walking back to our own beautiful selves hidden under all our judgements of good and not good enough.
I love your blog and photographs because it speaks to this in all of us. It speaks to the beauty of loving what we love without the limited beliefs of i’m too old or i’m not in this profession enough or I am in another box… I can’t be a part of this one. I have nothing to add…
I love watching you. It cheers me on to live fuck it… I love who I am not because I’m good or better just because I am me.
Thank you!
❤️
Mehera
Though we have a ways to go, the fashion and cosmetic industry are changing to reflect more authentic, diverse individuals. I’ve noticed it significantly in commercials and catalogs. And the catalogs that do not, I cancel. Having a strong, athletic build, I’m glad my body type is more reflected in women’s athletic catalogs, such as Athleta and Title Nine. It saddens me, however, that for generations women like myself were made to feel less than without the tall, thin, willowy form…so many years of having to feel that anything else was an inauthentic ideal, so many years of perpetuating eating disorders, and feelings of "less than" for women, and a sad disgrace to the women in charge that allowed it. While social media shows, too often, snap shots of glamorous highlights only and not reality, I do think it has given women of all ages a powerful platform to speak against and gain more control in what they want when it comes to the powers that be in the cosmetic and fashion industry. For too many years, fashion magazines have perpectuated a hegemony over women’s bodies and have trivialized their intelligence with content and ads in the name of profit at the expense of women under the false pretense of helping women.
Noel
I would love to see more designers creating fashion for women to be seen on women. Not creations that are "hung" on a women’s body. The female body is gorgeous. Designers need to embrace and celebrate all the beautiful curves and lines of the body in all shapes, sizes and colors. I want to see how a dress looks on a real woman. Body and clothes are intertwined with one another, not mutually exclusive. An amazing show would be the same dress on twenty different women and men if they want! A designer should not dress a women. They can dress a mannequin. They should look at the woman or man and see what can be done to enliven it. Make each and every person gasp with admiration of the vision before them. Not the outfit – the person.
I agree that fashion still has a very long way to true inclusion. There is a lot of focus on younger women and that’s why I love reading through the articles here at Accidental Icon. I’ve been inspired to start my own fashion blog and my fashion journey for older woman. Botticelli in Black is about the 70, 80, and 90-year-olds who are still fearlessly stylish and impossibly vibrant. Botticellians own themselves and their beauty. They’re paving the way for diversity making everyone re-think their assumptions on age and beauty. I’m loving every moment of it. I would love you to see my blog at botticelliinblack.com . I’ve still must complete bits and pieces, but it’s fabulous.
I just love you.
Excellent post. Excellent questions.
Authenticity is just so darn attractive anyway you slice it!
Terese D.
Wow, thank you, I am really taken by your words, Gaojillian will definitely become more important to me, thank you.
Awesome read. Thought provoking even.
Nice
I read your post yesterday.; and found myself thinking ? about what you said throughout the day. Why do I love your image? You don’t need to be pretty and smile more to be loved. You are beautiful and you know it and show it. With a strength that all women can and should have. I know that I have this, but don’t apply it. For example, when I take pictures or in other moments of my life I’m thinking how can I look more pleasing…WHAT?! I ask myself?! Me the mother who wants to be and example of strength and confidence to my children… yet I show them without wanting to that I need to look likeable; that I need to Smile more. Oh no. Thank you for your thoughtful words, inspirational images of strength, acceptance and joy of the woman you are. You are simply put, FANTASTIC. Your words will have not fallen on deaf ears.
Oops ? your words have not fallen on deaf ears…
Agree with the projections of perfect in fashion world. Why dont they dress up robots? In South Africa we talk about Bornfrees(born post 1994 first free election) and they are far more accepting of imperfections. Love them…. and your fashion.
I watch a lot of Swedish shows, and one thing I love about them is that the actresses are of all sorts and all ages, and none with perfect teeth. Some have really interesting faces that are not beautiful necessarily but what you might call arresting, and you enjoy looking at them. Now I know what to call them: noble faces.
I accidentally or not accidentally, came across your blog. I just turned 60 and am feeling like I don’t know where I belong in fashion. I like trendy, sometimes wild and crazy things. When I wear them I hear, you can pull it off.
Thank you for making me feel okay about being who I am no matter my age! I guess I can pull it off and I will continue to do so!