Photographers: FionayEduardo Make-up: Jenny Sauceda Hair: Rachel Hopkins Stylist: Jared Martell
This is but one of several pictures taken for an editorial in Glassbook Magazine. I wrote recently about what it feels like to not be seen, to not see oneself, for various reasons, not just age, in the places and spaces where beauty and style are defined and represented. I thought about the feelings I had when looking at that cover of Vogue I spoke about and the affect and desire I had while working on, and then receiving the images that appeared in this shoot. When looking at that infamous Vogue cover there was almost a sadness, a shock in some ways, at not seeing someone like me (hey I love fashion too), followed by some despair. For me I always end on anger: how dare you I say. This is generally followed by pragmatism related to figuring out the most productive response which usually ignites my passion and energy. I worry though in this time and all the bad news last week, about those who are not able to move away from the sadness, loss and despair. That makes me feel even more motivated. Let’s get down to business here. How can I use my platform? I am never not going to be anti-authority and angry but what I am learning is that I can be is creative, productive and engaging instead of fighting and alienating.
When I looked at the photos taken during the Glassbook shoot, I felt known, I felt seen. The woman who I feel like inside was recognized and represented by this team of exceptionally talented young people. They chose not to make me be a stereotype, they did not tell me to “stay in my lane”, They really, really wanted to show me, to reveal my complexity and so they cared about and for me. They met, spoke to and collaborated with the woman inside. The sexual woman, the woman who loves life, who remains the rebel, the disco queen, the provocateur. When I received the photos I felt overwhelming joy and happiness. I seem to have boundless energy and inspiration ever since. And then I made the connections. All of the emails, comments and thank you’s I have received finally clicked for me. I must humbly admit I did not always understand the level of gratitude. I do now. That in me being seen, people feel they are being seen, or at least they feel entitled to be seen. They feel recognized, they remember the woman inside. Young people who have received scary awful messages about getting older see they do not have to disappear or face a life of loneliness and despair simply by doing something we all do from the moment we are born: aging. The system needs to understand what they are doing , not just to those being left out but to those who are already being threatened to be left out if they do not buy products that trade on fear mongering. What is so interesting to me is that they would make even more money if they just realized how much we all love fashion and beauty and would spend our money gladly to indulge and express ourselves if only they engaged us by letting all of us see ourselves in the mirror.
If some people who work in fashion can make this happen, like this team did for me, why can’t everyone?
What a brilliant article and speaking for all ages. Thank you.
Even before I read your comments in this post, I thought that the photograph at the start of the post may well be my favorite photograph of you. When I asked myself why, I realized that it is because the photograph seems to more fully show the you that expressed by the words you write.
As to why so few people working in fashion let all of us see ourselves in the mirror: perhaps it is because they want to show beauty, and most of them insist on defining beauty (and/or assume that their audience defines beauty) in the narrowest of terms. What do you think?
Yes, it is not about wanting to look young. It is about wanting to see myself in the mirror.
Fantastic post, you a great woman!!!!
Have a lovely day 🙂
As always, an inspirational read! I have a small label and have realised for a while now that my images are not representative of my customers – I just followed what was expected of me and what examples I saw and followed the crowd when I did them. Shame on me I feel often now. I don’t follow the crowd when it comes to the production of my garments (I value craftsmanship, transparency, celebrating the origins of natural materials) but for some reason I did when it came to photographing them. All my styles old and new will be re-photographed next month and I will not be scared or pressured away from how I would like them to be, to celebrate the beauty and importance of ALL women. I’m a little nervous but very excited to feel I am taking a step further in the direction I believe in. You’re always such an inspiration Lyn thank you!
Women in this country have always been held to an unrealistic and usually unattainable standard. The models don’t even look like their magazine covers. They’ve been airbrushed beyond recognition, yet we are supposed to believe we can and should look like that, and for what? Do we do it for ourselves or do we do it for others, so that we’ll be "seen" as successful instead of really being seen for who we are. I’m turning 61 in a few months and I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow society in general, or individuals in particular, dictate how I should look and who I should be. Thank you for writing this, as always.
When I saw this photo on your IG, it resonated with me so much – it’s a look that I wouldn’t have imagined you having, but it feels so right and I understand completely how seeing these photos filled you with joy and excitement. I would love to be "seen" like this, and I do envy the opportunities you have to work with talented artists that help you create these looks.
I think that most people want to be "seen" – to be understood, to be worthy of engagement, to be acknowledged. While some of us create our own platforms in order to facilitate this, there are so many women out there in our age range that fade quietly into the background, but not by choice. It takes guts to keep putting yourself out there, refusing to be invisible, refusing to look and act the way society still thinks older women should be. It takes an enormous amount of confidence in who you are to keep pushing forward and creating a new template for what aging in our society can look like for women. Keep on fighting the good fight.
Hear, hear! Thank you, on behalf of everyone who loves fashion. You look fab, by the way!
I just hope this happens in my lifetime ?♀️
You’re amazing & Sooooo inspirational….. luv ya girl !.
Thank-you for putting a voice and words to ideas I’ve been unknowingly struggling with for the past year or so!
I think the reason I see you looking so young is not so much an age thing as it is an attitude thing – I see you with energy, passion, and you are clearly embracing that in these projections. Right on!! So glad this happened for you. It can happen for everyone, even in their own living rooms if we give ourselves permission. And this feeling can easily can spill into our public lives. I strongly believe that. We don’t need photographers or other professionals, but we do need more reflections like you, like this, to become emboldened. This is great. I can only imagine how excited you felt seeing these shots for the first time.
I love your thought process and rejoice in your high profile success. Unfortunately, for the rest of us, our time will run out before society understands, respects, and elevates middle-aged and older women. Peri-menopause and menopause are such a big shift physically and mentally, with little public awareness or sympathy. Post-partum depression and PMS get more press but I guess it is not interesting to talk about the challenges older women face. As sisters, we can empathize and support each other,, and of course must take responsibility for our health and wellness, but we don’t have a platform. In fashion, the trendy and creative wardrobe pieces (that I love!) unfortunately are hard for many older women to showcase because of the extra pounds that are a normal part of aging.
I thought of you the whole time I was listening to NPR’s piece on Nell Painter today ("Old In Art School") and think you might be interested in the article about her in Hyperallergic. https://hyperallergic.com/444922/learning-to-be-a-painter-at-64/
What struck me most was Painter’s description of her experience of both invisibility and intrusive judgmentalism ("you’ll never be a ‘real’ artist" — "how old are you, anyway?") based on her age and the stage in life when she decided to take a new path. You describe analogous experiences expertly in the piece above. You are spot on in declaring that we are most grateful that you SEE us, recognize the challenges of not fitting into narrow categories, and champion the wider view.
Being seen…must truly dwell on this. In my mind I’m still sexy and have much interesting life to share, yet I hide it too much of the time. Your thoughts give me courage to be seen a little more, in any little way I can each day.
You give courage, you are inspirational, you ignite my low burning fire! Thank you!
Just saw your video on FB. Really enjoyed it. I feel the same way as you. I am sure many other women between the age of 40 and 70 are feeling it too. I love fashion and will always dress to impress myself! Thank you, bon courage!
Andrea Greco