Here I am literally right on my butt. I wish I could say it was after a brisk healthy run but it was after a session of content creating. After all my promises to myself in June to take care of myself, establish a healthy routine and enjoy my summer, all bets were off during July. So here I am starting August as a hot mess.
I am behind on doctors appointments, have been stress eating, not getting enough exercise, never started my yoga practice and drinking too many latte’s which I have become addicted to because of my good fortune in getting to hang out in Europe. Also they like good bread there and I have become a carb-a-holic. Have I also become addicted to being busy? Am I trying to avoid something? My clinically trained brain is serving up these types of questions a mile a minute and my physically exhausted body is saying just shut up, let her lie down and sleep or read some good books.
I apologize for being incommunicado the last two weeks. I have been traveling non-stop and working on finishing up the online course I was bamboozled (a great word, no?) into. Some very good things have happened though, like signing on with a literary agent to develop and write a book, getting some fun and creative campaigns because my talent agent Max is awesome and having a really nice vacation with my daughter. I have two great interns lined up with much needed skill sets that I do not possess. I am going to pay them a commission when they help me with paid content. One of them showed me how to do the new section below, LUXURE, where basically I am posting things that I lust for and in the future offer a way for readers to visit and explore what different designers, artists and other creators, like chefs for example, might have to offer. She also sent me an email with written instructions for while she is away!
But as always I overextended. My ideas and opportunities are bigger than my current resources and abilities. Sort of like eyes and stomachs.
So I hate to say it but I had nothing. Nothing that could inspire me enough to sit down and write. I was not doing my morning scans of visuals and articles that always in the past led to an interesting thought and something to write about. I intended to of course, I uploaded photos before I left with the intent of sitting in the business lounge at the airport and writing while I waited for my flight. Didn’t happen. I also politely declined some offers made by others to write for my blog. I am either stubbornly self reliant or arrogant but I feel like it would not be the same if other people wrote things for me. Am I being grandiose?
Don’t forgive me or be kind, I got myself into this despite my best intentions and I really do need to learn my lesson. Believe me I am not complaining, I am reporting. In the world of challenges this is a very good one to have. I am so very fortunate to be at this place, at this time in my life, with a supportive partner and family and good health (as well as all of you who are always cheering me on as you did making wonderful suggestions about book ideas). I just have not figured out how to manage it all. Kind of like an abundance of riches.
Complicating this is my unfortunate tendency to rebel against the idea that I need structure to function optimally and since I have had none, consequently my home and I are not in the best of shape. So I am down to the wire now as the countdown begins to the new semester and Fashion Month and I need to hit the ground running, So just like we shared the month of “Re” to recalibrate and have a good structure, I am going to use the month of August to clean up my hot mess and as I am doing so try to create some interesting content for you as i am doing it.
If you have any good recommendations about cleaning up “hot messes” I would love to hear them.
Missed you, L.
I say, give yourself a break. I think we push ourselves too hard and while that is good most of the time, it can be bad if it is constant! Just trust that you are needing the rest/latté’s etc and know that you will kick into gear when you need to! You are a huge inspiration and I say we should all be a hot mess a month or two out of the year!
Thank you for the amazing gift of self-acceptance. I think just letting myself be is the first step in getting out of the mess.
A caterpillar needs to retreat inside a self-created cocoon in order to transform itself… to be ready for a whole new phase of living. It must be messy inside, where we cannot see what is happening. Does that feel like your experience right now?
What a feeling when someone conveys so perfectly your lived experience. That is exactly how I feel right now. Thank you.
My advice to myself would be a silent retreat somewhere cool calm and green.
So funny you say this. On my way to meet a friend for breakfast yesterday I found myself drawn into Central Park seeking exactly that.
If I am perfectly honest, I feel somewhat reassured that (and sorry) you are feeling a hot mess! I have been consistently impressed with your enthusiasm, energy and creativity and it’s good to be reminded that you are human. I think it is often much harder than we anticipate to look after ourselves and to be less driven to be "productive". Good luck with taking care of yourself in August & beyond – it is a goal I have also set myself.
Thanks. It’s a life-long habit to do things to the max no matter what I take on. I like the idea of scheduling periodic breaks and perhaps putting them right in my calendar now to happen throughout the next academic year and respecting them might be a supportive structure.
that we get to hear more about your particular hot mess and how cleaning it up is going.
plans and goals for this summer. What changed: the summer has been unceasingly and
horribly hot in my formerly-temperate city. That has made it impossible to move my
office outside and follow my usual summer practice of working, as well as living almost
all of the rest of my awake life, in the quiet peace, mild sunshine and refreshing evenings
of our home’s decks and garden terraces. This summer, it has not been possible to work
outside or inside (which is not air conditioned because it has never before been neces-
sary). Sleeping has been a challenge, and the few early morning hours when it
sometimes is possible to work outside must be spent trying to keep our gardens from
dying of thirst. (There is no automated sprinkler system, because it used to rain just
often enough here in summer.) I find the pervasive effect of these (comparatively minor)
aspects of climate change on me astounding…and it’s only August 1! (To be honest, I have
to admit that for the last 2.5 weeks, my husband and I also have been upended by his
cancer diagnosis, upcoming surgery and very uncertain prognosis.) So, for entirely
different reasons than you (I hope), I find my life and state of mind rather thoroughly
discombobulated and must hit the ground running to, as, you so succinctly put it, clean
up my hot mess and function optimally. Best wishes to each of us!!
I am so sorry that you are going through such a challenging time and thank you for sharing it in the service of trying to respond to me. Prayers and thoughts as you hit the ground running with your husband and wishes for coolness and comfort to enter your life soon.
I respectfully suggest you re-acquaint yourself with the elements of your existence that truly matter – and will always matter – and not focus so much on superficial transient aspects of fashion and style. Part of what made you so totally fascinating when you started your blog was your absolutely innocent passion for a unique style you thoroughly lived and breathed and your creative process to achieve what put a bounce in your step. Now, it has all snowballed into a business of fashion at its most extreme and bizarre and the heartfelt passion you communicated to your ardent followers has been stepped on and lost simply to be replaced by extremes in fashion that are not creative but polarizing and business- driven. You appear to be immersed in a world that has you living in it and not a world in which you are living. I know a number of your first followers and ‘fans’ feel left out and let down by you and I am certainly one of those. I would so much like the Lyn back that had that uniqueness and a caring of soul. Thank you for your time.
Can’t help but agree. Something has been lost. I am much more interested in Lyn the academic who used fashion to express herself than Lyn the fashion model who is being used by the industry.
NEVER LET OTHERS WRITE YOUR BLOG
Thank you, an emphatic endorsement!
I am the only one not to receive a response from you.
…. wouldn’t have happened if your comment was the "you’re wonderful and inspiring"-narrative. Criticism isn’t too welcome here …
Sounds like you need a holiday.
bamboozled is indeed a brilliant word.
I love reading your conversational tune. Wish you all the luck for August.
I hope that August would brings the interesting things for you!
https://weekendsale.club/
FasDes: My rule for any endeavors is always joy. Getting our system overloaded always result in loosing the most precious things in life peace and happiness. So, define your blog relation to you, maybe needs to go back to be a hobby and not a job. Enjoy silence, nature and your soul.
Here’s what helps me when I get such: Focus more on others and less on myself.
You are right! I took the time to check in with my two best friends. It was lovely very.
I think you’re just wonderful & inspiring. We all make mistakes & it’s a good thing when we can admit to them, learn from them & help others to learn from them as well. Wishing you only the best <3
Thanks, part of entering new territory is to figure out how to navigate it and remain yourself in the process. I feel grateful I can use my blog writing to help sort it out.
Lyn, I want to thank you for sharing your mess!! There’s excellent research out there that talks about the power of "rest" or "creating space" and how building this into your daily routine will result in higher performance which could mean greater creativity, innovative ideas, clearer vision, physical stamina etc. I’m so inspired by you and hope that you’ll find your new rythym with all of the wonderful opportunities coming your way.
I love the term “creating space” it is a great metaphor for both internal and external worlds. My mind can get over cluttered too!
"Hot messes" are necessary and part of the normal course. Much good comes out at the other end. Glad to see you back. You were missed!
Thank you, I do feel more inspired!
You are so inspirational to me. Your energy is intoxicating. You give me that strength that i need. Keep on doing what you do lady.
I am a fitness instructor, age 54. It is too easy to say yes to schedule one more thing when you should have said no. Yes, I will sub. Yes, I can fit you into a personal training session etc. But your energy gets drained. I guess we all get used to being addicted to being busy and fear of missing the next opportunity. Take care of yourself and find time for you. Love your website ❤️You write when you have time to write.
My thoughts in no particular order:
1. Not grandiose- we want to hear from you, not other writers, at least as far as the blog goes.
2. My clinical supervisor (at a pediatric trauma center) once said, "Sometimes a good night sleep is the best hedge against despair." Sleep and books are legit.
3. How to deal with the hot mess? Hire someone. I’ve had great luck with a professional organizer. A good relationship is key; you don’t want someone to throw everything out, but instead to help you make decisions and physically move the things you are finished with. After I retired, an organizer helped me plow through the boxes in the basement that came from my office. I couldn’t have done it without her.
4. Book topic: you once said when asked about age "it just isn’t relevant." That’s the core of the book I want to you to write!