Because I am thinking about the issue of “retirement” (oh that word!!!!), I have been thinking about risk. I think about leaving a societally sanctioned, predicable and low-risk environment to enter into a space that is yet defined and actually controversial. I also think about economics and what is going on the world now and perhaps in the immediate future. I must admit that what I began as a creative project and way to express myself has now grown into a plausible way to make a living but not always in a predictable way. I have shared my challenges with not losing myself, being ethical about all of it and remaining true to my purpose. Moving to a position of doing this full-time means I must determine a manageable equation between risk and reward.
When I think of this project most of the time it brings me pleasure. There is a deeply satisfying feeling I get when I am creating and communicating, whether that is when I am writing, envisioning content or meeting others who know more about this space than I do or who share a commitment to always learning like I do. This state of satisfaction, like other stimulants of pleasure, makes me want to do it more and all the time. The architect of the pleasure experience is the reward system that is laid down in our brain. So the question becomes what kind of reward is most valuable?
The word pleasure at first glance seems simple enough but when one starts looking in a dictionary there are multiple layers of meaning and subtle variances in emotional state. So pleasure is thought of as an affect and not an emotion. When I feel pleasure it can also mean that I am feeling gratified, content, amused, delighted, rewarded or even according to some, euphoric. Linked to the reward system of the brain, it is comprised of liking, wanting and learning each with its own neural pathway. Our capacity for pleasure is what makes us human and is important for healthy psychological functioning. The absence of an ability to experience or feel it is actually a clinical condition called anhedonia. This state can be caused by overwork (ahhh), financial problems, boring activities, recent tragedies and even the weather.
I experienced pleasure this week as a result of being interviewed by someone who read all my posts, had thoughtful and prepared questions based on them, and crafted the questions in a way that supported self-reflection. It was a pleasure to have a stimulating, intellectual conversation with someone who has the capability to see the world as both/and and not either/or. There were not silly questions such as, “How does it feel to be a 65 year old blogger?” But rather thoughtful ones about how I saw the relationship between social welfare, sociology and fashion, what fashion may actually be defined as and the complexity of thinking through current events such as the “Me Too” movement. I had a similarly pleasurable conversation with one of my interns and to a lesser extent in one of my classes.
These experiences raise for me bigger picture questions about social media and social welfare and the increasingly important role fashion and beauty, in some instances, is taking in the project of social change. It makes me think about the potential it has to do that. It raises the question of allowing a new paradigm into the world: that supporting and caring for others and making the world a better place does not mean that you can’t make a good living. As I think about moving from one career to another I think about how the career I am leaving has not wanted to pay a decent wage to the women who started it many years ago, who’s caring work has been marginalized, dismissed and undervalued even when the quality of that caring has been supported by science, expertise and years of study. I wonder if my worry about risk comes from these messages. If so it is time for a change.
Two questions this week:
What are you doing when you feel pleasure?
When you have been faced with taking a risk how have you managed it?
1) To me pleasure and beauty go along together. It gives me pleasure to praise beauty. Beauty for me has to do with truth,goodness and tolerance in people and that gives me pleasure to observe or be part of as well as feeling pleasure observing the beauty of nature, art etc.
2) I have to admit I do not manage risk well. I am not a risk taker. I find you are so talented and creative and that you have build a very solid basis so the risk factor for you is small.
Good luck ! Ruth, London
How funny, I too have been thinking of retirement but is in the opposite direction, leaving a space that is defined and actually controversial and entering a societally sanctioned, predicable and low-risk environment. On this question: "What are you doing when you feel pleasure?"…..a taken risk has panned out the way I wanted it to go, e.g. my instincts and risk analysis were correct. For this question "When you have been faced with taking a risk how have you managed it?"….I always remind myself that that every emotion is valid but not all emotion should be acted upon. So I temper my emotional response with rational judgment and as much quantified data as I can collect and verify. Or to put it another way" Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.
When I have been faced with this as I have been for most of my life, the result of being a serial Entrepreneur and coming out at 62 years of age, I have worked on being in feelings rather than the head. Being a head person for most of my life, meant I analysed, rationalised and pigeon holed everything in neat manageable boxes. Going to the heart of the matter, meant that I felt my way into it, the main question being, what did I feel? Feelings for me are much more reliable as they pick up on intuitiveness and a deeper guidance mechanism.
My gut and heart are my barometer, icky gut says no go, Heart emotion says yes. More often than not I have no clear path, but if I follow the calling of the heart, synchronicity and grace appear as if by magic… Big Hugs Wallis
Really interesting topic and one which I have pondered many times since I decided to return to acting after a billion years and first went part time in healthcare (in the UK NHS) while I did some retraining and then four years ago jumped into early retirement and a full time commitment to acting. It would be great if that translated into full time acting work but that’s a whole other issue! My experience is that the risk was certainly worth overall it for my long term mental and physical health. However I find that the highs are higher and the lows are lower than when I was in full time lower risk long term employment. The whole notion of “retirement” is slowly becoming a nonsense other than as the trigger moment for releasing pension finances for those of us lucky enough to have this. It’s much more about transitioning and with that brings great opportunity for pleasures both large and small but also challenges, not least that we are inhabiting aging bodies as we do all this.
I look forward to following your adventures
I am a family physician who includes the question, “Are you having fun?” As part of health check ups. I think my “fun” is your “ pleasure.” I love medicine. I enjoy helping people. A few months ago I decided (at age 67) to “untether” (not retire!). I plan to do sigital medicine which does not geographically constrain me, plus some locum tenens to continue hands on medicine. I have never wanted to retire, now I am getting reasy in 2019 to do a “relaunch” which I’m calling bethwilliams 2.0. I think sometimes we must step into the unknown to become our authentic selves.
1) Pleasure comes from finishing a task, not just adequately, but well; from having the time to create something (or work on the process); from spending quality time with loved ones. In each instance, I can open my heart and mind, feel the satisfaction of giving my best self and reaping the reward, whether it be a super-organized closet, or the breathlessness from laughing long and hard with friends.
2) Too often in life, I’ve taken the safe road, and end up looking longingly at that other path. But financial/geographical/familial obligations/restrictions/obstacles always kept me from making changes. The few times I have taken a chance, it’s been exhilarating. That’s why I’m looking forward to my own retirement (18 months from now) as an opportunity to take a leap into the unknown.
Pleasure for me comes from creating, via vegetable and Fowler gardening, or trying a new recipe, refinishing furniture. Also by dressing up in a cool outfit then socializing with friends.
The risk for me was retiring from a lucrative career from a Fortune 500 company, then relocating to my state of birth, 1800 miles from where I’d been living for many years; this at the relatively young age of 59. I’d become very burnt out and negative. Could I handle it financially? How would I fill my days. Could I establish new social networks? Three yes later, the answer is a resounding yes. Less stuff, more creativity and laughter with friends.
I do the things that are good for my soul; giving, volunteering, riding horses, talking or playing with my grandchildren, singing, dancing by myself, sooooo many things.
When I face a risk; I research to gain knowledge, I think on it overnight (or two), I list the pros and cons, but the hardest risks I’ve face don’t allow me that time so I put aside any fear and go!
I have always found that when faced with a risk — no matter how small or large — the longer I analyze it and consider the pros and cons, the more likely it is that I won’t jump. I have taken leaps at risks that are considered life altering without much consideration, just a knowing in my heart, in my gut that I’m on the right path, so whatever the reward or whatever the consequences, I’m good with it. When I decided to "retire" (oh, that word!), I had the experience of just deciding. The decision kind of surprised me, but somewhere in my subconscious it had been mulling around. And then I just knew. I didn’t step off immediately, but began planning my exit from my agency – the ad agency I had started, nurtured, grown, loved, hated, and loved again. It took almost two years, but when I stepped off, I was euphoric.
Trust your heart.
Pleasure comes from contentment… contentment that the task was well executed, the meal was well prepared, the process was enjoyed. It comes from feeling fulfilled, doing what I feel needs doing – knowing that I have given my best – no matter what the outcome.
Risk is worth it, if it has the potential to give me this sort of pleasure.
Yes there are family and financial responsibilities that need to be met… but if these are considered and a plan B in place (if things do go to plan)… for me that de-risking this potential, pleasure giving activity.
Didn’t realise you worked in social welfare – I have only seen your pics before. I am a lecturer in law and social work and also love fashion – I’ve always felt the two were at odds so lovely to learn about someone who has reconciled this.
I want to see more curvy older women – many are very boyish like you and much as I love your looks often can’t carry them off because boobs. Be proud of being identified with older women
I love an earlier comment that plans to "untether" rather than retire. The perfect word!
Ten months after I untethered, I am sitting in my kitchen on a rainy Monday, not dragging myself into work but instead catching up on one of my favorite bloggers, playing with the dogs and planning my 60th birthday celebration at a Lady Gaga concert.
For me, the joy of being untethered is not about not working, but being able to decide when, where and how much to work…and sometimes whether to work at all.
Your voice will be no less powerful; it will simply be in a different setting.
Dear Deborah,
Thank you for comment. You gave me my breakthrough about retiring at 60.
I am just wrestling with what to do after.
Dear Lyn,
I’m a New Yorker living in Tuscany and I’m so thrilled to be able to read your blog.
I feel connected to your way of thinking and your honestly is so refreshing.
I think that risk is a part of life. Creativity historically is a risk and still is today. Its courageous but necessary to risk in order to evolve in ones endeavors.
In fact I feel risk in creativity becomes art.
A painting, a peice of music a poem are all expressions of someone who has risked being different, risked being criticized, risked being exposed. I could go on, much personal risk of being different say in a cultural period have created new genres and have left behind some of the most beautiful creations today that we admire.
Sadly to say many of the people who risked to create weren’t always rewarded economically in their lifetime, Mozart, Van Gogh come to mind.
In our world one career isn’t necessary and retirement, no, just transition of thought.
I can’t wait to see what you’ll risk!
I love how you express your intelligence and strength through clothes. You are an inspiration.
No age, no limits- Brava!
I have just signed up. I am 49 and I am just beginning to open up to the idea that clothes can be a way of expressing oneself. There have always seemed to be more urgent things to concern oneself with (and spend money on). With regard to risk and pleasure, I believe them to be one and the same. I discovered a few years ago the truth in the homily that one’s greatest desire is on the other side of fear. Without a risk, pleasure will always be lukewarm. Armed with this knowledge, amongst other things, I left an uninspired 20 year relationship, found and lost my soulmate (he died) and learned to ride a motorbike. With friends and family getting sick and dying, it’s time to take those risks sisters, and really live. Now.
Tengo 66 años y me siento de maravilla, uno crece mucho despues de los 50. Hablando de riesgo, antes de esa edad todo me parecia un riesgo, un cambio de trabajo, de casa, tomar una decision importante, preguntandome siempre: y que tal si…? a partir de los 50, el riesgo se convierte en aventura y aunque los resultados no sean los que esperas, no hay lamentos ni arrepentimiento porque invariablemente, lo que pasa supera tus expectativas. En cuanto al placer….sentir que estas en paz, es el gran placer; de este se derivan todos los demas.
an extremely cool stylish outfit
When I am looking at, thinking about, creating, and promoting art I feel pleasure. This drives my entrepreneurial spirit and my love of change. I worked for three years at an institution (sadly, it was a place that could have provided all of what brings me pleasure) that proved to be a very toxic workplace. It was a demoralizing experience to know how much I wanted to and could contribute to the success of the organization, but my drive to do so was not valued. Perhaps my ambition was seen as a threat. At any rate, it had grown quite untenable and I made the decision to resign. While I had a promising job prospect ahead of me, I had not yet interviewed for the position so submitting my letter of resignation prior to securing a new job was a very big risk. My head had been telling me for nearly a year that I needed to move on from the museum, then about six months ago my heart said so, but it wasn’t until my gut screamed to leave that everything aligned and I had the resolve to act. I managed the situation by making sure that all of my allies were well informed of my decision and they were at the ready to assist in supporting me in whatever way they could. The relationships that I built over the course of my career served me well and helped me to manage a scary situation. I am happy to report that I begin my new job next month! I will be doing exactly what I love best: bringing together art and commerce to build vibrant communities. I am grateful.
I have had a variety of careers and have been an entrepreneur using my own talents over the many years. These things have allowed me to interact with the world in a variety of ways that has been really wonderful. I am not working now, but I will never use the word retirement as I do not consider that what I am doing now. I might say I am pursuing new avenues of creativity – my writing, my art, and discovery of a great many things in this world. I will never be “retired,” for I have “miles to go before I sleep. ”
What am I doing when I am feeling pleasure? I am living in the moment. I am not thinking of the past, or worrying about the future. I am where I am, fully cognizant that when I breathe out, that is the past, and when I am having that breath fully, I am in the moment, and when I take in another breath, that is the future.
Two years ago, at the age of 60, I decided to move to Ireland for work for two years. It felt like jumping off a cliff, as there was no promise of employment after doing this. And yes, as I finish these two years, I do not have anything guaranteed and I don’t know if I will be employed in 2 months.
Totally worth it.