As you know I have not been engaging as much as I was. Some of that is due to the end of the semester and closing one chapter for another. Some of it has been spending a great deal of time on something that has just proved to be frustrating and stressful. Perhaps that should tell me something about whether or not that becomes a part of where I am going. Or maybe it’s just that I’m getting to the end of a five-year reinvention cycle. I have also been reading about how constant engagement with social media impacts your brain and your ability to focus, think deeply and creatively.
As those who have followed my ramblings for a long time know, throughout my life I have repeated cycles of getting bored, reinventing and mastering something for about 5 years. Then it hits and I am ready for something new. I think that is where I am now as Accidental Icon turns 5 in a few months. Since my practice when writing this blog is to write spontaneously and about what I feel, what has come out in other writing projects I have been attempting is the theme of reinvention. Rather than let that writing become a fruitless enterprise I am going to share it here. As always your comments and support sustain and inspire me. I think this first bit describes exactly how I feel right now. I also realized during this challenging experience is that I become animated when I am collaborating with others. I can’t say what I do because it only becomes real in my transaction with people, places and things. So over the next few weeks, I thought I would share what I wrote and see what we can all make together of this reinvention story.
I usually know the time is coming when I start to experience sensations of restlessness and can’t be still. The walls seem to close in around me. I find it hard to breathe easily. My legs twitch involuntarily. I’m dissatisfied with everything. I sigh a lot. I’m told I get petulant and bitchy. Good friends and family call me pissy. My usually discriminating palate defaults to blandness. My body is lethargic, moves in slow motion and feels like I am a hundred pounds heavier. I’m not able to find something to wear that satisfies me, feels like me. Even worse I start to not care about what I wear. I bore myself and probably others. I say, “That’s not fair,” at least 10 times a day.
When I can’t stand feeling this way anymore, I need to find a way to get some relief. The feeling is akin to being underwater too long, you believe your lungs are about to burst. You think you can’t take it a moment longer, and then you break through the surface of the water and take a big gasp of lifegiving air. The sky reappears, the same yet somehow stunningly different. It startles with its brightness. It has a limitless possibility. That’s the moment I want, the fix I need. It’s inspiration propelling me to reinvent.
Have you ever experienced times like this? Where and how have you found inspiration?
I live this look – it is unfussy but so stylish. Earrings are such an essential
Part of this look.
You inspire me !
The dress is understated and daring at the same time beneath the sweater. The glasses create that perfect balance and distinction. Your inspirational style is eclectic, experimental, classic & reminds me how making the effort is a gift for ourselves and others.
I know what you are talking about – the feelings of frustration, blandness and boredom. Usually a change of scenery and way of life energise me. A short holiday, travel, and or the opportunity to see and communicate with people new me can stimulate me and help the creative ideas to burst out of the sludgy and murky unconscious. I am interested in what you say about the effects of social media and the ability to think deeply and creatively. Can you suggest some authors in this regard?
This happens to me frequently! I used to move a lot, reinvent my personal living space, change homes, travel to more exotic countries when I could.
Now – I get out into nature as it reconnects me with myself. Meditation has given me a wealth of creativity and calm, as ideas and solutions just pop into my head. Music concerts, galleries also give me new ideas and feed the soul when I am in a fog or feel like nothing is moving. The beauty of art .
I feel this way every couple of years, wrung out, burned out and I need to be alone, I also feel heavy and uninspired. Funnily enough I hadn’t given much thought to these ‘episodes’ I ( run and edit a magazine) so I need constant ideas and inspiration.
Triple whammy today, firstly I read your post and realise, its not just me, then spotted something that will make a great theme for the next magazine,, bonus points my designer agrees. Then with my music on random play I heard Gabrielle ‘Rise’ the change in the way I am feeling from yesterday to today is palpable. Today has been one of my light bulb days so thank you, a million times over for being the spark that lit the fire in me again. You are truly an inspiration.
Thank you! I need some days like this. I’m going to listen to that song.
I enjoy your reflections
1000%
I am now just below the surface myself, about to break through. I know the rush of light & energy waiting for me, but this time the effort to engage feels daunting. I have done this so many times it begins to feel like just another habitrail. And yet I think I can’t resist…
Indeed because it is called growth.
When I go dry on the creative front and start to rethink my travel writing career I have to walk off the dissatisfaction with life. Walking long distances and then talking to other people to get off myself. Life is naturally cyclical- enjoy the circle.
Sounds a bit like manic depression. Full to the brim with ideas and explosive behaviour and then becoming lethargic with a who cares attitude.
Besides medication or self medication maybe trying something you’ve never tried before could help. Skydiving? Volunteering? Joining a club?
I am impressed with your desire to achieve goals, that’s why I follow you. Best of luck.
So sorry I gave you that impression, as I am not depressed, nor do I become manic. As a clinician, I know there is a big difference between what I am feeling and describing and the clients I have worked with who suffer from that particular condition. I am so grateful that is not what my malady is.
As I read the comment someone had made regarding manic depression…i had not heard what she/he had heard at all. Odd how we as humans, hear things quote differently from one another at times. Your writing & your personal flare for style truly inspire me.
We shouldn’t medicalise every feeling we have. We all go through different phases in our lives. As a psychologist I’m of the view that we are labelling ourselves too much and as a result straightjacketing our ability to move on in our lives.
Agree! Some things are just : Human. Prescription: Live Life. Not every emotion out of place is a bad thing. Sometimes when we figure it out we really grow.
I disagree about it being manic depressive. I have experienced it multiple times. I’ve done enough self exploration to recognize these times for what they are: the itchiness before the breakthrough. I now know (but don’t always relish the moments) that inspiration is coming and I can trust (sometime with much self talk) that something big is unfolding. I imagine you know it too Breathe, eat, read good books abs enjoy your friends. This will pass.
Getting into nature has worked for me. I’ve rented a cottage beside the beach for a week, or a few days to be in a new environment, by myself. Armed with a few books, journal, paints, music and soul food I have time to think, to feel and to imagine.
Yes, I am planning some shorter trips to different places and then one where I am doing nothing but enjoying nature.
That comment about going to the beach reminded me of A Gift From the Sea…I reread that book every couple of years.
You are very inspiring to me. I wish that I had the ability to have a full-on reinvention! For me it has to be small steps with the occasional dive into the deep end!
Your posts of late appear waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too serious, dark and centered on, yes, unfocused change – your 5-year reinvention is happening, but to what? I sense you are unfocused, searching and, sadly, unhappy. While I understand the 5-year change timeline, being the same myself in life, you must understand that you must also allow the Universe to come to you relinquish control to allow that to happen, control what you can, lighten up, relax and your focus and thoughts will flow to allow you to find yourself and reinvent. My inspiration is ME, and I know and have learned that trying too hard to control the process results in frustration, inability to be creative and, failure.
Yes, it has become clear to me in some reading I have been doing lately by someone named Brian Solis that being too engaged with social media can actually change your brain and you lose your ability to focus. I think that is what has happened and I need to have more “real” experiences in my life. Now that I have left academia I am hoping to have time and space.
You mention having recently left academia. While this may be all for good reason, leaving things that were a large part of our lives warrant a period of grieving and mourning; as well as celebration at times. The feelings, both positive and negative, deserve ones full attention. Rather than looking to distract, if one goes deeply into them, one can more easily exit them, without carrying their extra weight.
Namaste
I totally agree, that’s when I consistently do the things that gives me joy, dancing, hiking and sometimes reading.
The universe has always
Put me in the frame of mind I wish to be in. I just have to allow it to happen , stay open
And at peace with my, now ??
La urgencia de dejar de sentir algo que no quieres sentir no te deja ver lo que esas emosiones pueden traer. Quizás ellas mismas sean la fuente de inspiración.
A very good replynthat makes me think, too about what to do next!
I feel this way often. Sadly, my periods of restlessness and boredom surface every 2 -2 1/2 years. I’m considering it a sign that I am not fulfilling my purpose. Now, to figure out what that is. I need to take the leap. Into what I’m not sure. I keep discovering what I don’t want which is getting old. I appreciate you sharing. Wish I had the secret sauce.
Well maybe we can all figure it out together!
Lives of quiet despair we must not lead. Dare to keep up the good fight.
I’m right there with you both. I will be 60 this year, and have been busy fulfilling my responsibilities and obligations all these years, building my own practice in a career field I’m not particularly passionate about, taking care of family, pursuing love relationships which ultimately ended. It’s time to change that, but my purpose is a mystery. For me, Ceasing efforts to control, seeking/heeding divine prompts, brief travel (preferably in nature) helps to open to that reinvention.
And A.I., I’m with you about minimizing social media – it has the propensity to silence our creativity/inner voice.
Absolutely recognise this awful state, the moaning and groaning, the restless boredom, not settling to anything, even the things I say I love and have always wanted to do. I have had several ‘careers’ thinking I was unable to sustain my interest, stay the course or delve deeper but now (at the grand old age of 65) I finally (yes finally) realise that I am a dipper, a serial trier, experimenter and I crave the new, the novel and the different. My greatest dread when I was growing up was ‘being ordinary’ and I think this is why I shift from one thing to the next. I truly admire those who can stick at one thing and become an expert. I just can’t do it, like you I get bored. My way out is to take myself off on another Foundation Course – I go to exhibitions, go on a course (lino-printing then meditation next) take photographs, read some different books, watch Ted Talks, all with a free mind. No note-taking, no planning or decision making. I free-wheel and let it all wash over me. Something will turn up, it always does and it is enjoyable waiting for the wave of enthusiasm to return
and yes and one day the world is new, exciting and full of new possibilities.
I totally know the feeling, Angie. I’m 70 and still don’t know what I want to be.
I hope I am always this way.
I too am a dipper like Angie and I was just recently feeling as you do. Not happy or inspired by anything and not really caring about what I wore. I now limit my engagement with social media Instagram specifically) to less than an hour a week because I was feeling overwhelmed and inundated by all the images. And I seem to have a bit of a creative block at the moment. However, I have turned my perspective around and am now coming out of my funk. I chopped off all my hair and went totally grey and I feel like a new person and even interviewed at a modeling agency just for fun. Life is getting interesting again and it will be so for you too.
Angie: Your comment resonated very strongly with me – I too am a “serial tryer” and feared growing up to be someone “ordinary” so I trying all kinds of creative means of expression. Nothing really stuck except photography, but even that feels stale and uninspiring lately. I am attending a “Promoting Passion” workshop with art photographer Brooke Shaden in June and I’m hoping it gives me the spark of inspiration I need right now.
How can you describe ME so exactly?! I am always jealous about people who get lost in their hobby, forgetting all around them and knowing exactly what to do. Instead of I am visiting courses, reading a lot of books hoping to find answers and get pleased this way.
Now this week a podcast of my favorite writer Elizabeth Gilbert hit me like a lightning. She talks about jackhammers and hummingbirds. I learned, that it is totally OK to be a hummingbird, sipping here, sipping there. The only thing which people like we never should give up is our curiosity.
You find this podcast on Oprah‘s SuperSoul conversations. It was like a revelation for me. Let’s stay curious!!!
Our fear of being “ordinary” may keep us stuck. Ordinary and average cover immense grounds in which to express ourselves. There is so much freedom and room for improvement there. In the Instagram/ social media world everyone wants to stand out missing the smaller interesting quirks and talents that can make anyone interesting. I doubt anyone in this stream, especially our AccidentalIcon need fear ordinariness though.
I can relate! Dealing with that period of discontentment and restlessness is difficult. I’m trying to learn to love myself through those periods and accept that those times are important. It reminds me of my experiences of giving birth. When you hit that point when you don’t think you can deal with it for another minute and you’re ready to scream for meds — and you’re told you’re there, it’s time to push. There’s a reason that stage of labor is called Transition.
Yes, I accept that I have these periods and do not judge myself when I have them because I know they will always result in a new and interesting adventure in life.
I’ve also had these episodes in my life and have always thought it was a failing of character! It’s so validating for me to read that “The Icon”, whose words and images I have come to love and who’s blogs inspire me every day, also has these moments in life.?. I feel for you and the anguish I know too well. Thank you for sharing this. And be kind and gentle to yourself, like I will now try to be.
As you can see this seems to be something that many women feel and have not always shared it. So happy to be a place where that can happen.
After reading your post was that you were leaving the blog. Even though it would be a surprise given your huge success, I immediately understood because I too get bored after doing the same thing for a few years. I’m currently ready for a change. I really believe it’s our purpose here to evolve throughout life. I love that you posted this and appreciate the other comments, happy knowing I’m not alone!
I love your expressions! Each new phase is a birthing. And iften it is a timidly uncomfortable process. Often, we can remind ourselves to ignore negativity and take the limits off. We were all created to stretch, fail, renew, and take chances. Create. Be ALIVE!
I love your expressions! Each new phase is a birthing. Often an uncomfortable process. Patience and quiet solitary activities allow us to focus on our thoughts. Creativity is all about YES! Dismiss all negativity and limiting thoughts. We were all created to stretch, fail, renew, and take chances. Create. Be ALIVE!
Yes I know exactly how you feel
Yes I can see that many of you recognize the feeling, it’s not depression it’s a transition, it’s an in-between time.
I call these cycles personal epochs. They come and go throughout my life. I remember each as emotional atmospheres and in memory as sensations of color, time and space. I don’t choose when one morphs into another, they just change on their own. I know one has changed when I get an urge to get a new haircut, make a change in my paintings, get up earlier because I realize I like the morning light. As the world around me changes incrementally, I change too. A dear friend of mine is 95, and she continues to grow and evolve emotionally. I’ve learned a lot from her, about how to be happy in oneself. Also, the importance of how we dress because that tells the world how we want to see us.
You have eloquently described why these periods are so worth the incubation time. I too know that I will be doing “personal epochs” for the rest of my days.
I totally get this and thought it was a Gemini thing or a me thing….I’m not a writer but half the time I’m bored of what I do but too scared to change because the new life might turn out boring too!!! Hopeless but I’m enjoying your work so it’s not all bad!
What is that poem? “The world is too much with us…” I get out of my funky moods by grabbing my camera and heading to a nearby forest or conservation area, preferably ones that are not well known or popular. Just spending some time looking at nature through a different lens and listening to birdsong and animals skittering around brings me back to my centre…and I can carry on again.
Oh my goodness, I have been spending the last week just roaming around the city with my camera. Somehow I feel a need to be very “other-directed right now. The picture taking has been life giving.
Oh this piece speaks to me so much! I get the itch and I know then I need something to change. If I allow the persist to continue I turn inwards and shut off from the outside. This isn’t always a positive time, not everyone understands the need to isolate and focus on myself. The end result reminds me of a butterfly emerging from it’s pupa.
Even though I find ‘self care’ a cliche idea, I find my muse in self-care. I take the time for good food, exercise and some aroma therapy. {mind you, I never thought of it as aroma therapy, they were just some scents that I enjoy}
Interesting I have been obsessed with perfume lately, Really artesian, interesting ones that are unique and new. I think this could be a whole post. See I knew my readers would inspire me! I think you have helped me to see why I have been doing this.
I like to choose a scent depending on how I feel on a particular day. I have several particular colognes I choose and enjoy. Interesting topic to explore.
I appreciate your sharing. I, too, have been peripatetic in my journey over the years – theater, then graphic art/illustration, then working for art dealers, now teaching art history in university. It has been wonderful in many way, but not lucrative. At a certain age I feel a little stuck – much as I might like to explore whatever is next (and like you I expect there will be a next) it’s tough to figure out how to fund it. Whatever yours proves to be I hope this blog will continue on some level to be part of it. You are an inspiration to so many and have definitely cheered me on.
It sounds like this reinvention conversation can be a very collaborative and productive one!
Thanks for sharing the struggle. I too often find myself in a similar place. As a creative, I know I need to be reinventing myself every three years both personally and professionally. What helps me is to go back to basics… I reorganize my office-removing things I haven’t used in a while. I do the same with my home and wardrobe. It’s hard and time consuming but it allows me to reimagine my life, work and family. Then as an academic, do the same with my ongoing projects and courses. This has allowed me to recover joy in the mundane.
Exactly what is on my to do list. Making some space to let something new come in.
I struggle with being stuck and find the whole process frustrating. Coming out of it, however, is life affirming. Funny you mention being underwater. I have been known to take to a bathtub when I am troubled or need to solve something, and immerse myself in order to find answers. I often keep a note book next to the tub as I swear to you, I break through the surface, literally, with some clarification. It’s not always this simple, but the act of doing something that takes you away from your routine – a walk in a forest, volunteering at an animal shelter….all can lead to another perspective. If we don’t have these moments of in between, we aren’t growing. You are on the precipice and I cannot wait to see where you will go! By the way, collaboration absolutely stimulates the creativity and soul – go out and find some more! I work with artists and designers and the most exciting part of my job is stepping into their sphere – – oh, the joy!
Yes indeed! I totally agree it is indeed like labor before giving birth.
I find inspiration in continuing to explore the things I want and love to do over what I have to do…we all get bored and somewhat stale and need rejuvenation!!! Creative people seem to need and thrive on constant stimulation and reinvention… easily bored and somewhat impatient weget stuck….I get outside, take a walk and Meditate….those are my bittons that need pushing to begin fresh!!
I have been waiting for this moment. Now that I am no longer teaching full time I am so eager to have the time to do all of the things I love. I am so ready to engage.
Hello
What you describe is, in part, what I am feeling lately too. I need that fresh air of change too – contemplating retiring soon. My work no longer inspires me, it feels like a drudge and the pressure is suffocating. I want time back for me after many years of putting my work first and all the hours of my day it commands. Soon, it too will be reinventing a part of me ?
I am really happy to have such illustrious company on this journey of reinvention.
I’ve so enjoyed your description of this raw-edged period between what has been and what is yet to be. Looking from the outside I see the richness of it all. When I’m in it myself, I’m fitful and agitated. And then comes the breakthrough. I’m excited for you, Lyn.
Hello
What you describe is, in part, what I am feeling lately too. I need that fresh air of change too – contemplating retiring soon. My work no longer inspires me, it feels like a drudge and the pressure is suffocating. I want time back for me after many years of putting my work first and all the hours of my day it commands. Soon, too will be reinventing a part of me ?
So let’s all start getting excited about what we can discover!!!
Yes! In fact, I was just speaking with a girlfriend about a similar concern this morning. In both personal and professional roles, after a certain period of time, I become bored and frustrated with a routine that others find comforting. Honestly, this is the first time someone else has expressed experiencing a similar occurrence. It is refreshing to know I am not alone in this. Upon introspection, I think it is related to a converse relationship between being challenged versus a routine. I tend to be a very critical thinker and as such find it hard to accept without a deeper understanding.
Yes sometimes you just have to go with it and trust yourself in the process. As you can see many of the other women are relating it to the creative process.
Dearest Icon: yes, yes, and yes. I feel that particular limbo every few years. My way through to something new invariably starts in my body, in movement–bicycling, running (well, actually jogging) yoga. . . . For me, it starts in the body, and then, with energy from movement, I seize something new.
Thanks for your amazing model for change and growth!
Amy
This is so helpful as I feel like I have just been running from one task to the next. Doing some nice things for my body will also help with being so tired.
There are times in my life when felt stifled and creatively stagnant. I’m a woodturner which means my medium is usually some shade of brown. When at the bottom and unable to breath I start looking for shapes. Usually curvy shapes, flowers, hills and valleys, trees, a cereal bowl, light and shadow. There I find the inspiration to design new bowls and platters to make on my lathe.
Thanks so much for reminding me that this is really part of the creative process. The simple things are what can be most inspiring.
Meditation.
With me, it’s more of a spiraling sensation, out of control. At that point, I know I need to take some time to just BE. I need some ME time to sit and reflect and just enjoy the world around me that I’ve built. I revert to my teenage self for a day and become a complete slob, all by myself, with no one around to judge me or question me or ask me what I’m doing or why I’m doing it. These are the times I send my husband and son fishing together so I can just breathe. Lots of times, I’ll sit and eat what I want when I want it, watch stupid insipid chick flicks, and maybe clean out my closet to get rid of anything that isn’t bringing me joy anymore. Then I make a list of things to go shopping for, but I don’t GO shopping until I’m feeling better.
Hope YOU feel better soon! I really enjoy your posts, and I’m really loving my new Perricone MD “makeup.” Thank you for the recommendation.
OMG can’t tell you how many pints of ice cream and chips are showing up in my garbage. LOL
Dear Lyn, I very much relate to what you wrote. As someone said, when one door closes another one opens but it’s the time in the hall that gets you. Transitions can be tough, messy, confusing.
What helps?
for me, getting out of myself. Nature, people, ferry rides, new places and new experiences. Not all at once. Slowing down.
Experimenting. So many things don’t matter at my age (I am almost 70). And what does matter really matters.
Walking on the beach. Feeling stones, smooth and rough. Soaking in colors. Color is such a gift.
Silence.
All best to you.
Yes, I have learned too much navel gazing when I am like this makes it worse, not better. Other and outer-directed is the way to go.
Your post hit home. This seems to be a period of reinvention for me as well. There is a sense of restlessness and yearning in my every day. I am searching for answers, looking for ways to engage my heart and soul, investigating online courses and more. May we each find something to relieve our respective symptoms. Good luck in your quest.
Yes this seems to be a very common occurrence with the women who come to this blog, I think we can all support each other.
Yes….too many times to count….my solution to this drowning feeling has always been to change careers or go back to school to acquire a new skill/face a new challenge or both. It has always worked for me.
Hi 🙂 It sounds like you are also (like myself) a “scanner” .. are you familiar with Barbara Sher?
Some people like to simultaneous do many things, while others of us go in “cycles” …
🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o29KOV0jYRM or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFZKb2HCZPQ
Thank you, I will check this out.
Yes! I find that travel helps. A getaway to either a new or familiar place can be refreshing for the spirit, and also inspiring. Thinking about what I want to wear on the trip and packing, and also the possibility of shopping for something new at the destination is fun to contemplate. I also very much enjoy researching new locations, hotels, points of interest, restaurants, etc.
I get much pleasure from that and can’t wait to do more of it.
I certainly have but the most important part of it is that YOU (I) recognize the feelings. What you do with them is so private and personal. You will guide yourself to your own perfection. You have already met the criteria for inspiration- you’ve given yourself “permission” to feel like yourself again, and only you (I’m talking to “me” too) can find that fit. Hunh, fit!
Thank you for that.
Thank you, Valerie, for your comment. I really like what you said, especially that you (I) will guide yourself to your own perfection, and that you have to give yourself permission to feel like yourself again. And, Accidental Icon, thank you so much for bringing the subject of a life in transition to the forefront. Let’s all enjoy the journey! Just now, after reading the blog and the many relevant comments, I have named my own life’s journey, ” The Magical Mystery Tour.”
YES! It happened to me when I was working, about every 5 years (sometimes sooner). I was fortunate to work in a healthcare institution that knew me well, and when I excelled, allowed me to try something new (about 8 times). Now I’ve been retired for about 2 years, caregiving for a special needs kiddo (who will hopefully be out the door soon), and I definitely feel like I’m reinventing myself once again. “Being retired” was not a well-planned event for me, as this kid suddenly needed a big surgery and somebody had to be there to nurse her through it. BOOM, retirement. I’ve been trying to sort myself out ever since. It’s slow, but it’s what we do…
Yes that is always part of what needs to be factored in when we love other humans, its unpredictable.
Everything gets boring after a time. I get the impression that you are the type of personality who needs constant newness to combat boredom. I am the total opposite, consistency creates a feeling of satisfaction and comfort. But I understand the need to look and do things differently. Whatever you decide to do differently, remember you are an Icon for a generation of women at a certain age, who appreciate seeing what you present because of your being of similar age. Too many times women past a certain age are regulated to a back seat background because we are not considered vital members of society for whatever reasons.
We need you to be the Icon for our age group, however free thinking pursuits you continue, to prove to society that we. women of a certain age are still very viable, creative, etc. We do not disappear into the wallpaper.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I believe that we all feel like this at one time or another. In those and other times, I turn to our Creator. He knows how you feel and I pray He will uplift you, inspire you and show you the way. Sending many blessings!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Yes I have been carried always. This I believe.
I think you are brilliant. I am in the reinventing myself space. So I totally relate.
Feeling so less lonely in this after reading everyone’s comments.
I’ve listened to that voice in me whenever it too knows that it’s time to reinvent, to move away from and towards something new. Not the easiest road… but I would be stuck with cactus all around me had I not listened. Thank you for your inspiration! I’m fighting too now how to let me blossom even more.
It sounds like so many of us are on the same path. This makes me feel there is a very good purpose for this site.
No, but I know change. And lots of it. By accident—usually—as it happens. I’m currently sitting outside a wee bar, having a well-earned beer after work, right opposite Budapest’s Great Synagogue. A few months ago I was living and working in London. Then… this happened. A job, a cause (who can resist a cause?) and so my life changes. Again. Turning 50 has nowt to do with it… I think….
I like your musings. Please continue. Wherever life takes you.
What a great story, wish I could be sipping that beer with you in Budapest and continuing our conversation!
I have felt like that from time to time… I am exactly there right now. To me feels like if life is telling me ” you are getting too comfy, keep learning, move on”. I have learnt not to ignore it and do something about it.
Yes always evolving but that is what makes life interesting and keeps us growing.
I find myself in a similar cycle – I call it the “all in/all out.” I find things that inspire me, I dive all into it and then find myself getting bored. An example, I found these little nordic gnomes on Pinterest and I just loved them. I have spent the better part of two years gathering materials, making patterns, and “planning” to get them done. They were supposed to be done last Christmas – I missed that date because I lost interest. Now, every day when I go into my crafting room I see these parts and pieces of gnomes just lying there. It’s sad and I think that I should get back to them, but I just don’t have the interest any more.
Part of this may be coming to terms with aging, uncertainty of health of my partner, loneliness from moving to a new state, who knows what else.
To combat these feelings I find there is nothing better than taking a very long walk, outside. I don’t get the same satisfaction from the treadmill. I also find inspiration and peace in nature when puttering around on a small lake in our pontoon. There’s something about the water that just puts things into focus for me. I also spend some time in the hot tub with a cool, crisp glass of Henkell Trocken Sekt.
I’ve just reenergized myself and started marketing my very small business. I’ve been updating photos and my website as well as the storefronts of WeddingWire and TheKnot. I have about 25 weddings booked and hope to get some really good photos to share on social media and the websites. It’s coming along and I look forward to getting my name out there!
I have enjoyed following your musings. Thanks for letting me enjoy your ride.
Congratulations on your new business, thanks for letting us know about it and be inspired by your story.
It’s interesting to read what you are dealing with now, especially when I’m increasingly seeing you in TV commercials and other media. One could think that you had “made it” and be envious of you.
Well I guess that depends on what your motivation is. My whole motivation in starting this project was to express myself in a different way than academia, try to communicate visually rather than always through long text and indulge my passion for clothes. If I am not feeling creative or that I am expressing myself truly than I have not made it.
This sounds familiar to me! My own disaccord usually has to do with not being true to myself. It may sound a bit simplistic but sometimes getting back to basics is what is needed. Taking stock of what is truly important and getting perspective. Not apologizing for putting myself first. No matter the situation, things could always be worse and I start with gratitude that they are not. I also try to be cognizant of hormones and how they can make me feel(or not feel). Riding out hormone fluctuations is like riding out a storm against my will. Animals are great teachers and they can do wonders for the soul. When all else fails, a good workout with a punching bag can clear your mind and frustration!!
You are so right, getting back to your mission statement and to your core.
I have this feeling all the time which led to my good friend and photographer and I going back and looking at the simple, lowest common denominator garbage. From this came our project “Recycled Beauty”
You can see it here – http://www.trendtablet.com/22021-recycled-beauty/
It is an on going project that evolves in many forms and cities.
Sometimes, no often inspiration comes from the everyday things around you. Even the cement on the sidewalk. #lookateverything
Diane –
I knew you would inspire me. This is exactly the kind of project that I have been thinking of. I am going to take some time and sit down with it. I see you like collaboration also.
It is reassuring to hear others who experience this feeling of restlessness. I feel that creative individuals, especially, have this need to continue to reinvent themselves — or at least create something new. I am excited to watch what you do and where you go during this transitional period.
Yes!!! A couple of years ago I felt bored, dissatisfied in my life, empty and sad most of the time. I decided to reinvent myself and went with a passion that had been birthed with my 3rd and 4th baby. I trained and became a post partum Doula and I launched my business Birth Baby Blessing. I’ve never looked back and some weeks I’m working 90+hrs! It’s exhausting but so completely satisfying. I love it!!!
birthbabyblessing.com
@birthbabyblessing
A wonderful way to address this feeling becoming completely involved in new beginnings!
Thank you for your honesty, and sharing what probably so many of us feel, but are too afraid to express. I have been in a bit of a rut myself. My blog just turned 3 this February and I had similar feelings of restlessness and wondering if I should continue. I gave myself a break from weekly posting, and only posted when I truly felt moved. That lifted the wind beneath my wings to continue, but I still struggle with how to turn all my talents and efforts in earnings that can sustain me and my blog. I think reinvention is a wonderful opportunity to take a long look at what you are presently doing, determining if it brings you and others joy, and dig deep to see what will. Not easy, but necessary. For those of us that have creative spirits, staying in one place is a dangerous space. Curiosity and adventure is what frees the soul and breathes new life into those lungs. Wishing you a spirited, inspired journey.
And you too. Perhaps we can both find inspiration and support here.
oh, i’m totally with you on the five-year time frame. i don’t even try to “fix” it–i just move on.
Yup it’s like riding a wave, just can’t fight it. If you do you might get pulled under.
I totally understand where you are coming from, I have reinvented myself a couple of times, the last being after being very late diagnosed with HIV, it had made such an impact on my body, nearly killing me and my life had to change when I was lucky to survive. I had to learn how to walk again as the disease at this stage had damaged my immune system, spine and brain in such a way that I was no longer that carefree able bodied person I once was.
The new me strived to get better, and to make people aware that if this could happen to me, then it could certainly happen to them. I went back to my first love of Art and studied and gained my Bachelor of Arts in Fine Art. I won an award for my final degree show based on HIV. And continued to make pieces and exhibit.
I am now going through another change in my life, menopausal and fed up of my body shape changing once again. I had also had to pile up my clothes on my bed while doing a bit of redecorating, this pile was huge and wasn’t everything. I suddenly felt pretty disgusted with myself for having so much, I hadn’t even worn some of this stuff for ages, and even though all my clothes come from Charity shops/Flea Markets and Ebay and Etsy, they are all used, nothing new, I had become bored of them and bore, dissatisfied with them and with my life and how I look.
I always loved vintage clothes, for their originality of not being worn by everyone, their superior quality. I made a decision that I wanted to go back to that person I was when I was around 16, I didn’t follow the herd, I wanted to stand out, and that expression always sounds in my head ‘You were born an original, don’t die a copy’ so I am now back on that journey of finding truly unique pieces that have a history with them. I want less, I want to choose carefully, and most importantly be able to find them easily and not have a bulging clothes rail of things that don’t get worn and that feeling ‘I have nothing to wear!’
I still create and exhibit and have another collection of work that I am very busy on, but you could say my biggest project is me.
Love seeing your posts and your realness.
Mandy, my friend Stella just opened a beautiful online vintage store: https://www.eatitupvintage.com/
I clean and reorganize. I look for new, not necessarily to buy. To try on, to dream. Rearrange the furniture. Day trip to new places – Hudson Valley, the Hamptons, Austin or Marfa. Take on a physical challenge – hiking, biking, dancing. Sometimes you just need to break away from the things you’ve been defining yourself as. Sometimes it’s a need to get away from consumption – getting and buying sometimes needs to stop and be replaced with paring down.
Agreed. I like those ideas, Marfa sounds very inspiring.
What is going on with you is Expansion. I believe we have to expand, and create new things and more and better things. I went through a period where all I wanted was peace and security and was very focused on making that happen. Because of my intense focus I got everything I wanted, and was able to just rest and bask in the peacefulness for about 5 months (what is it with the number 5?). And then, I got restless. I needed more, but I needed the peace and security as a base to move forward. Now I am launching a business with the intent to reinvent the hair extension world. And it’s going amazingly well. But…I can see that I will be expanding beyond that in the future. It’s good, it’s healthy, it’s necessary to expand. I feel what you are experiencing and I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do next! Thank you for leading the way.
PS: My website is not up and running yet.
Let us know when it is! And please do us a favor and offer grey and white hair extensions!!!! I have been asked to partner with hair extension businesses but I go look and m=none of them have grey extensions to match my hair. Now that’s a market for you.
Hello,
I know how ur feeling! As I’m going through the same thing, as a 51yr. old woman. I was laid off a year ago working in the Biopharma industry leaving me yet again with where do I go from here. I’m a creative, fashion stylist who never leaped to what I was made to do. Instead I took the safe route working in management, getting paid well but dead creatively. Now financially tapped I find myself in between depression, relief and reinvention of self. Meditation, a closer connection with my daughter and grandson along with taking one day a time does calm the internal storm to a degree. Yet my quest to satisfy my creative juices in a way where I can sustain myself continues to evade me causing me to go back to the safety net of mainstream. I’m optimistic though…in the end self acceptance and forgiveness along with patience AND a plan of action lol! Will lead me to my next destination. Hold on sister…this too shall pass.
Thank you, I know it will and I wish you the inspiration to keep on trying for your dream. I feel anxious as leaving the safety of a mainstream structure like academia is scary so I know what you mean completely.
I go through what you have described every single spring. Spring cannot come quickly enough to enable me to shed the winter emotions brought on by cold weather and dark days. They are the emotions that lead one into SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). This too shall pass I tell myself and it always does. Be well.
Yes my five year whatever they ares have happened my whole life and I know they will pass, it’s delightful to have company through them.
Keep going! I’m with you–we are with you! Reading your words, serendipitously, and coming across the words of some other women recently, also serendipitously, I am only just beginning to understand how very NOT alone I have been in my own cycle of disaffection and reinvention. Your words are important and need to be shared…….even if you never see the result of how/where/when your words land and the impact they have. Having just pushed to the surface myself, I can only say: keep swimming, and keep telling us about it. Cheers.
And you telling me about it gives me the motivation I need, thank you!
I am feeling this way towards my house and my life. Looking to reinvent myself. Time to declutter both and clear my mind. I am also taking on challenges that I never would have thought of when I was younger. This Sunday it is skydiving! June is hot air balloon ride and September is Lunch with Llamas!!
Fabulous!
Oh, my goodness! I read your blog and felt like I was reading exactly what I would have written. It mirrored my life at this time. I too have to bring about a new and improved change in my life or my brain will explode. I am about to put every single items that I wear in a donation bag and slowly start over. I am changing my physical appearance to something more simple but sincere that makes me feel more at ease. I do feel that this change must come soon but as a gradual release to keep me at a state of relaxation. My change is well overdue! Nothing is changing and I must take that time to make it happen. I’m tired, so tired and my mind and body crave for something uniquely different. Thanks for motivating me to move on to my next chapter.
And thank you for reminding me I am not alone.
This so describes me, many times over in 56 years. I feel like the Phoenix rising from the ashes when I once again get my bearings and go in a new direction. Sometimes it lasts but mostly it doesn’t, until recently I realized that I have been happy & fulfilled for quite some time. Thought long about why, why did it stick this time? I found out that by helping others in need helped me! I became a nurse late in life, thinking how noble a profession it would be. But, I followed the money, became a nurse in a plastic surgeons office. I felt dissatisfied and deflated. THIS is why I sacrificed to be a nurse? I felt like I “sold out” as they say. I floundered and lost my way. Then I fell into working with the special needs population and found my true purpose and enormous amounts of happiness and satisfaction. It’s been 4 years of joy, heartbreak and learning. I get so much more from these guys then I give them. I am lucky to be where I am today, mentally, physically and professionally. The journey was rough, but the destination was worth it!
I can relate after a lifetime of being a social worker to the challenges and joy of being there for others. My clients have enriched me more than I could possibly ever have given to them.
I think you are my spirit animal. I have gone through the most emotionally and physically difficult time of my life over the past, yes, 5 years. Accidental Icon and you have kept me going through this time and when I have been hanging by a thread you remind me that it is never too late to be who you wanted to be before people started telling you no, or you can’t, or that won’t work or its a dumb idea. I have been working very hard as of late to use my innate creativity and wild child and turn it into a life not just a career…but a life. What ever you move onto, I know it will be unique and enriching. Thank you for being an inspiration and an unknowing life raft to me and I know so many others. I would love to hear more about your strategy for reinvention as a woman over 50. Thank you for saving me without even knowing it. Much love and gratitude. Stay inspired. Love, Pamela Jaye, Founder of Cool Martha, an emerging lifestyle brand, Upsourced fashionista and artist
I am beyond words at the moment. Thank you for this amazing inspiration.
My inspiration is in canyons & badlands of New Mexico. The Rio Chama. The wildness of southern Utah. I experience it every few years – then I escape to another place to explore and come face to face with Mother Nature and her wonderous lands, rivers and mountains.
Yes, absolutely! Even though I am turning 61 and still have teens at home, I am finally restarting my studies.
Despite lack of time, I turn to books as I find myself taking more time and getting deeper into time with books. Going into more silence. Going to a library, staying for a couple of hours and searching, searching words, interrogating ways another mind, another person perceived live and what she or he does with it, organizes it in her or his mind. Going into my thoughts, talking to myself. How can I connect to a renewed thinking, connect to what else the world has to offer ? Ideas, looking for ideas and philosophy that are inclusive and not discriminating. Or getting into someone else’s skin thanks to a novel. Yes, books take time but they also give time in return and our loneliness fills up with a new taste for life. And if I can, I write, of course.
I love to research and read when I am in this place. I have been thinking of how beautiful the NY Public Library is.
I believe that we’re meant to constantly grow and develop. Sometimes these growing pains can be troubling. Listen to your inner voice, spend time with your best friend, you, and the answers will come.
Enjoy your blogs very much.
Myra x
Thanks so much.
How nice to hear from you. At 64, I am younger than you. I have been described as cranky. I see it as being contrarian. Your life sounds very busy. Personally, I recharge by going to my local museum/art gallery and listening to my favourite music. I also paint. I paint for myself and not for a career.
How nice to hear from you. At 64, I am younger than you. I have been described as cranky. I see it as being contrarian. Your life sounds very busy. Personally, I recharge by going to my local museum/art gallery and listening to my favourite music. I also paint. I paint for myself and not for a career.
I’m feeling it now! I resonate with what you are feeling. With me I think it’s because I’m perimenopausal and in a strange period in my life ..I’m trying to use these feeling as a catalyst for change. Reinvention on the cards. Small steps and all that jazz…keep talking about how yr r feeling is my advice..and give yourself space for things to develop..to show you the way…i.believe in intuition and feel that to make its mark you need to just ‘be’ for a bit…continue writing if it gives you pleasure if not stop for a bit…you will know when you feel yr mojo is back… but it takes a bit if time ..I wish you well xx
Thank you.
I’ve always called that creative talent waiting to give birth. It’s a feeling that I am well familiar with. The creative tension builds until it can no longer be tolerated or ignored, then it’s off onto a new life adventure. Don’t try to hold onto the comfortable past five years, just embrace the exciting new ones to come. Life is an adventure to be embraced, even when it means reinventing yourself for yet another time. Don’t lock yourself into a box, just spring free.
I read your words, take a deep sigh and realize “I’m Not” alone..
Thank you…I thought it was just Me…I tend to pray when feeling
Like this …hoping for a little sign that “ Everything” IS going to be o.k…. and I press on knowing “ If God or whoever your highest Being is Takes you to It…He/She will get you Thru it” ❤️??You’re truly an inspiration…sigh. …..
I read your words, take a deep sigh and realize “I’m Not” alone..
Thank you…I thought it was just Me…I tend to pray when feeling
Like this …hoping for a little sign that “ Everything” IS going to be o.k…. and I press on knowing “ If God or whoever your highest Being is Takes you to It…He/She will get you Thru it” ❤️??You’re truly an inspiration…sigh. …..
Reinvention is akin to liberation, unless it becomes silly escape from fruitful enterprise simply because persistence feels uncomfortable. I find persistence uncomfortable entirely too often; but in my thirties was once told by a treasured mentor that my feelings of discomfort did not necessarily grant me the right to escape my responsibilities to my community, or the world. I have never forgotten it, though the memory is sometimes woefully inconvenient.
Yes I will remain with the project just perhaps with a new perspective.
Would you please share where and who cuts your hair? The start of a reinvention for me is a resolution, something major that completely shifts who I am from the inside out (stop smoking, learn to swim, run a marathon, etc) from this I emerge different and can find a different path. It isn’t quick and takes persistence and time
A small salon here in NYC Tokuyama. My stylist is Jun.
All the time!
How bout a new dress! Bahahaha!
Seriously….
My practice is not to escape these feelings. They are just that….feelings. You could argue feelings are real and they control our bodies but they don’t have to.
I try not to be pushed around by my emotions. Pick up the artwork and keep working and design new projects out of the wanting to grow. Sounds like you are growing.
Ok that’s funny!
It’s all about spirituality for me ……… usually God calling for my attention.
Wow…this EXACTLY how I am feeling. I hunger to be creative, to expand my world. Glad I am not alone?
I am only 67 but have lived through many unsettling times in my life. Usually I found riding my horses a wonderful outlet. As well I will make a complete change in my house, or find a way to create something. I love to travel, ( my friends call me a gypsy) I find that even a simple weekend out of town can give me a fresher outlook. It seems to give me the opportunity to not dwell on how bad or confused I feel. By the time I return home my outlook is much better, and my attitude has mellowed. Then I can think more clearly on how to make my life better, and positive.
I totally understand you. Something similar has happened to me at differet jobs, when, all of a sudden, after feeling great about it, bad things start to happen and I start fighting to regain peace there. But after a while I realize that some battles are not worth the effort, so I say to myself, “it’s time to move on”, and the search for a better chance starts.
But, I’m here also to try to convince you not to give up on this blog. In your case, I believe, this is not a job. You are more than an icon. You are an inspiration.
For me, turning 30 was very traumatic (sounds funny, but it’s true). I turned 51 last October and still joke about the 30s trauma. I tell people I still have three more therapy sessions about my 30s, before I start sessions to deal with my 40s.
The truth is that being a chubby, stressed working mother, as many women, during my 20s, 30s and 40s, made me not care much about my looks for a long, long time. And after a strong experience, in my late 40s, I decided to retake my life and live it over again, in a wiser way, thanks to gained life experience.
Turns out, I took my peace spiritual life back which I had abandoned for a long time. I also lost weight, religiously train every day, and love fashion, again, as I did when I was young.
Last year I saw you for the first time on Facebook. And, you, my dear, are now one of my inspirations. Love to find this emails on my inbox.
All this long, boring story is just to say, please, don’t give up your blog. I would even say, please, do some more. I’m sure many more women are inspired by you.
Ohhhh yeah. I’m there myself. And I’m moving in the direction of short-term career change that I know will be career and life changing. As a mentor tells me, sometimes our wrong is staying beyond our expiry date.
Don’t leave us….Take a hiatus if you must but don’t stop the blogging and fashion. Your pieces are so encouraging to me at 60 years old. It shows me I don’t have to give up my unique style because I’m maturing. I can just get better more seasoned.
Oh I won’t be leaving, just reinventing.
When I feel as you do, I need to reconnect to the present, to the earth’s healing energy and to stunning beauty. I need to feel small and yet a part of something much larger. I try to spend more time on a mountaintop near me, watching sunsets. I try to figure out what really matters to me, what resonates and feels like home again.
When I get restless like this I move to another country. Now I feel like living in Italy. Last time it was France & I stayed past the seven year itch! ? Why don’t you teach in Paris for a year?
When I get restless like this I move to another country. Now I feel like living in Italy. Last time it was France & I stayed past the seven year itch! ? Why don’t you teach in Paris for a year?
Yes, yes and yes 🙂 I use guided/ written meditations as well as structured questioning. I also find that since I started regularly (aprox every 6 mths) creating a framework of choices to move towards what you are experiencing happens less. The trick I think is to give your spirit direction and focus proactively not when it asks 🙂
Yes I have had those days times . Minds come every 3 yrs. I don’t reinvent my self , I move forward in what am doing, I am a Fine Artist& FA teacher . Recently I’ve stoped teaching those who are not wanting to become serious artist. This helps me to get focused on my dreams of where I want my art work to go or what I choose to accomplish , moving forward.
I am also a director of lip sync /dance shows for 55 plus active seniors .
As a director/ performer , doing this event helps me to not become board an stuck in a tunnel. And sometimes it’s just a time for me to reflect on where , how and why I want to move forward.
Travel that brings me back! A few weeks in another country and you appreciate things in a different way.
Definitely in the works.
Perhaps this excuse is too easy, but I find myself to be restless around this time of year. The birth of this new season always gets me feeling anxious. Possibly because I can’t wait for the warmer weather, the chance to shed all the heavy layers which were so welcomed when Autumn arrived. Possibly, I am impatient for the trees to become green with all the luscious leaves and the blooming of all the colourful flowers, in general the freedom I feel with this bountiful season.
Yes, that is also a part of it.
I am on a 15 year cycle. I’m at the end of the last cycle right now, and find that I am turning to the past rather than the future. Feeling like I haven’t appreciated my past while it was happening. I know I am not appreciating my present. It was only today that I had the insight that I run away FROM the last cycle, rather than TO the next cycle, and they each might deserve a little more deliberation before abandoning one and beginning another. The idea of addressing “Why” am I needing to go has arisen. “What” can I do, if anything, to become more satisfied with what I have created these past 15 years. Just digging a little deeper in to the motivating forces of my actions. I have always called it the “I can’t breathe” feeling, much like you being underwater. Impatience may have something to do with the feeling. Not too much time for future reinventions, so this one is important. I’m just sitting with it, because I know the answer will come, and it can’t be forced.
Ah! Where am I finding inspiration? From those who know their mission. Beyonce, in her Homecoming documentary. Ryan McGarvey, a talented young blues/rock musician from my town. Karl Lagerfeld in a documentary I watched last night. All people who have a vision and won’t compromise. Aristotelian ethics…building inner strength. Being my own best friend. Constantly working to be a better person, know what I want, commit and act. A continual work in progress, and it is women like you who let me know that I am not alone. Thank you!
Thanks for reminding me of what the compass is. Time to re-visit and remember my mission and value statement.
15 Year cycles sound wonderful. So much can happen & small but really big events usually go unnoticed until much later. A work in progress. Doing the hard work. Checking in often enough to notice what is evolving. Even running “from” and “to” happens right here & now. That’s all we have, really. Future reinvention is based on what I choose & do today. Interesting subject!
I have about a seven year window and then like a snake in old skin I want to shed my whole life and start again!
I move, study for a new job, play in a new art form, take up something new to me, find a new point of view.
Inspiration can be found in: travel, music, art, food, conversations, people, books, movies, dreams …,
Wishing you well on your next metamorphosis! Being Alive is Fabulous!?
Indeed it is. I am thinking of taking a summer class and become a student again.
It seems that I get like this when things around me are spinning out of my control. I haven’t identified, and put it down like you have…but yes! This is familiar. I have a little shop that is growing, so I am not able to be as hands on…knowing every product, ordering it all myself, remembering every single vendor name…and it bothers me. I like to be in charge and in control. I am not very good at delegating! I sigh a lot, and put things off until I can do it myself. AND…I get bored in the midst, while I am thinking up new adventures!
Love following you. Maybe take a break and breathe…and come back to a fresh fall! We will still be here waiting. xxoo
A vacation is definitely in order?
Totally get this. Some of us like the thrill of exploring and mastering new skills/worlds/ideas. Once a certain saturation is reached, it is time to squeeze out the sponge and look for something new to sop up. Innovators, creatives, explorers, cravers of diverse knowledge…we can disconcert people by suddenly announcing “I’m done. What next?” That’s why I love writing. It allows me to follow my interests and share what I learn or create with others. Good luck finding your next new thing!
I have experienced this a few times in my life . Maybe it’s the therapist in me or the spiritualist but I believe that lows of energy, vibrancy and engagement are either a cue for realignment with my authentic self OR the beginning or eminent and turbulent massive transformation. Yay right? lol
The more open I am to growth the more frequently the opportunities come and the more oblivious I am to growth the more flavourless life becomes in general.
Right now I’m in the midst of a massive transformation. And while I’ve journaled, decluttered (both things and relationships) and reinvented myself more times than I care to remember what inspires me now at age 53 (so yes even we therapists are constantly on a journey) is the closer I get to myself and my self every time.
I’m inspired now by simplicity. By the previously painful but now joyous realization that I create all of the stories in my life and if I want a simple but vibrant life I simply have to figure out what that means to me and then LIVE it.
Realigning with my self means I’ve had to take time at an age beyond half centurian to figure out I know nothing about me as a sole and soul being – the stripped down version if you will.
On the daily I’m inspired by detachment because it frees me up to live in the moment like I am right now writing this post.
After I hit send I’m going to continue on my journey to figure out what it is my miniature poodle puppy will eat, I’ll likely primp my no longer flat ironed curls and then make myself a meal from three items in my kitchen (that’s the recipe) and power down for the evening with whatever book, music, movie, audible I choose….or not. Silence is nourishing.
So no advice to you do anything. On the contrary highly recommend you do nothing but what you want to do and let life come to you. Trust me you’ll be busy, engaged, surprised and energized. All from doing nothing.
Thank you for you.
Thanks for giving me permission to free myself up to do that.
Reading your blog today, describes exactly how I have felt throughout my life. My friends and family think I am a nomad, and perhaps I am; for when I bo get bored I feel the same restlessness deep in my soul and long for a change in my life, an adventure, job etc… and the urge to move on. I’m not quite sure where this comes from or why I have this insatiable thirst to keep moving on. Its as if I am longing for something I might never find. What does one do in these circumstances? I have found that I have to take pause and sequester myself from others and find a place where I can commune with nature. A place that is beautiful to me, whether it is a garden, mountain top, or ocean; nature is what inspires me to see the beauty in myself again and propels me to my new place. Thus coming to the self realization that it is my life and I will live it as I see fit and to hell with what anyone else thinks:)
Yes I do believe this is me making a very big recommitment to my values and my creative process.
The third paragraph. Oh Lordy…that is me. Right now! Is it the weather? My winter clothes I’m still forced to wear…because…it’s so cold? The ‘undertoad’ presents itself. I go to my studio and can’t focus. Wander back and forth. Clean up the oh-so- filthy space that rarely bothers me. Dabble a bit here and there. Make work that I tear up saying…I’ll use it in a collage. Ugh. I know it will pass. I will not get restless. I will not get bored. I just need to wait it out and ‘get on with it’.
Yes leaning into it so to speak.
It’s been a long winter and a slow spring coming. Sometimes, I just need to thaw, physically and mentally. I start with some small things, like Vitamin D, meditation, favorite music, reconnecting with friends, doing something nice for someone, and going for walks outside, or a big thing, like a week somewhere reliably warm and sunny. “For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” (Khalil Gibran, The Prophet) Take heart – summer is almost here. Best, R
Indeed sometimes for me it usually very ordinary things and places that I get back to and they become the same yet different if you know what I mean.
I’m on a 5-year cycle myself. Unfortunately, I’m at the end of a cycle and looking frantically to reinvent myself. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one going through this.
Reading all these comments we seem not to be alone at all!
Ah! Again to prove to be the heroine of the story. No kidding around, how do you get in my head like that? I find my own cycle is about 5 years also. I have a much more boring story in that I’ve been with the same large corporation for 21 years now (WOW! OUCH!) I’ve realized that within that time I’ve held 4 distinctly different roles. I wouldn’t dissuade anyone from taking on those same jobs and even staying in them many more years, it’s just not for me. Thank goodness I don’t have this same time frame for personal relationships!
One of the things I have enjoyed about social work is that is has allowed me to have many different kinds of jobs, even within the same institution. Yes good point, I keep people around even in the midst of my reinventions.
Hi Lyn, let me first tell you how much of an inspiration you are to this middle aged woman from Tasmania, Australia. You’ve no idea what level of pressure there is to become gray and unseen, and what seeing your lovely photo’s do to push that pressure back. What an interesting read, and I agree, serious. But then moving on is a serious decision, the process can hurt. Your guage for knowing it’s time to move on is remarkable, and I’m sure this must be a comfort. How often do we oscilate about changing something in our lives that is very important? How many women do we know remain in that twilight land for years because they are ‘just not quite sure….’. Your mind, body and soul, however, are screaming at you: ‘NOW, NOW, NOW, CHANGE NOW, MOVE ON NOW!!’ And that to me means you are in the right place – a transition place to the next phase in life, and your next lot of footsteps, should you choose to take up this mission, will be exactly where the Universe wants you to be. I wished I had those bells and whistles in my belly telling me which path I should be on! You are soooooo lucky girlfriend.
And that thing about too much social media, a good guage is when people don’t address each other by name. What really is that?! I had to suggest to my young property manager the other day it would be best to use my name in the salutation on her messages to me as we were establishing a business relationship afterall. Some of my younger family have NEVER used my name in a text message. What are they doing? Hiding? Preventing a relationship from forming? Minimum acknowledgment equals maximum control? Too much influence from social media malforms the social interaction part of the brain and they haven’t realised? I went on a trip through the south of England with a neighbour and she had two phones and a laptop. We never got away before 10am-ish because she was posting on her various media platforms telling all what a great time we were having. She insisted I put the hardcopy map away and follow Google maps on her phone despite the clear limitations of this type of navigation. She was a middle age woman and the here-and-now social interaction functions of her brain has been atrophied by social media as well, it can happen to anyone. Everyone has to be vigilant, I tell you!
Anyway, best wishes with making the small change decisions that will transition you to your next remarkable phase xx
Lesley
Thank you for the words of wisdom and thoughtful comments about social media and the impact on relationships.
I can relate. Right now mother of two teenagers, wife, dog owner, home owner and employee–all I want to do is sell everything and run away. Not because anything is horrible, but just because it’s time for a change, and time to focus on only one thing or person, rather than dozens of others…
I think this is probably typical of most women of middle age. We kind of want to get on with it because we still have so many things, places and people we’d like to experience.
I recently deleted Instagram because it’s tiresome and a time waster. For every hundred posts in my feed, there’s really only one worth paying attention to, if that.
Sounds like it is time for a time-out. Just concentrate on YOU for a while. Then hit the road running again. Sometimes we just need to be LAZY!
That sounds delightful
Ah, I can relate to the bitchiness. To that I’ll add a general anger that makes me mutter “F**k!” if I simply drop the soap in the shower. When I get to the point where I don’t care what I throw on my body, I know I’m in serious trouble.
I’ve discussed the quest for inspiration with a friend–both of us writers–on several occasions. We decided to interview women from various walks of life to find out what motivates them when careers end…when kids grow…when restlessness and/or lethargy set in. We ended up putting their stories in a book to help motivate other women to keep moving forward. I’m not sure it’s the answer, but if it helps a few of our sisters see that startlingly bright sky you speak of, it might be a good start.
Yes based on the response to this post, there is clearly a need. Would you mind sharing the title of your book?
It’s called Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life. I’d be happy to send you a copy if you’d like. Your followers can find it on Amazon. xo
You’ve just articulated so well how I feel now and again … I haven’t known what it is, or sufficiently acknowledged it, investigated it and tried to satisfy it. I just know that when I’m like this I feel yearnings for things unknown and feelings of anxiety that I’m missing out on something…and more keenly aware, as I age, of time passing and of what I haven’t achieved but not pinpointing what I want to achieve.
Reading your posts from time to time, I have wondered how this ‘accidentally becoming an icon’ has affected you and the life you had before. I applaud you for taking time to tread water around the rim of the vortex into the black hole of social media . . . I imagine that for many, this path is all too alluring.
I’m a person who doesn’t follow much on social media [and never comment!] but you’ve stayed with me on and off over the past 5 years. And while I haven’t engaged with some of your adventures, I think you’ve emboldened me in a good way and for that I thank you.
There seems to be a great many women who are feeling this and perhaps we can all inspire each other here.
I love that you share what passes through in your mind. Yes! The breakthrough! I often think about this, and I look forward to those moments when I’m in need of breakthrough. When that happens, big or small, I feel so alive like a new cell on the planet, or delicious meal. It was an eye opener, and also incredibly refreshing to read your blog. You push me to jump out of stagnation! (Isn’t that what the life is all about?) You inspire, and remain real! Thank you for inspiring us all Accidentalicon!
Thank you!
It sounds like a transition, which is always difficult to go through. Swimming helps me, so does listening to meditation CDs. Have you tried Reiki? My pets help me take the focus off myself.
I wish you speedy travel through your transition.
I’m in this space right now! Restless, deep sighs, bland, blah, bitchy, swearing, unsatisfied with everything!
Yes, I need a reinvention! How do I do that??!!
No, this is not a duplicate, as your website is stating after I submit my comment!
Sounds like there are many of us in the same boat, Let’s all try to inspire each other over the coming weeks. I will share how I am going about it and I hope others will too.
I think that you will accidentally stumble onto the next wonderful thing in your life! It will be just wonderful. Stagnant is not fun. The inner yearning for Something Different is a blessing moment. Just like a plant…If we don’t grow, we die. How sweet that it is a cycle for you…Life is one constant cycle if we recognize it as such! You have! To thine own self- be true. I borrowed that last sentence! I am very new to your blog but I cherish it! Every day in my life is in an adventure because I choose to say yes instead of maybe. Or maybe not. If something doesn’t work, I let go. Being curious has led me to some great adventures! When does not have to travel out of the country to have adventures! Full speed (at your speed) ahead!
Thank you for putting into words what I have been feeling . If I look at my past, this 5 year thing has taken me to great places and experiences but now when I am in between opportunities I feel like there is nothing ahead, I’m too old etc. That maybe I have wasted my life on flitting from one flower to another.
Your writing is a godsend. You explained my life in a way gives me hope that there is a next 5 year experience coming and that if I had stayed on that one flower I would have had a very boring life.
Maybe we need a bit of time to regroup, rest and restore. I do know you may be going on to other things but take writing with you. It’s a gift.
I recently experienced restlessness and dissatisfaction after watching Netflix documentary “The True Cost”, while I’ve always loved fashion and continue to do so I am now haunted by some of the industry practices – perhaps this can be the inspiration for your reinvention you have a large following and could truly make a difference keeping our fashionable planet healthy.
The in between time feels like purgatory to me. Neither bliss nor punishment but a struggle to find my way, my next layer to see another form of my true self. Most times it is an incredibly confusing time for me and difficult to find direction. I find that if I think too much and get distracted with what I think is the right direction despite indicators that it is not, then I spend useless energy on something that does to feed my inner self. Being aware of my options, keeping an open mind and heart usually presents opportunities that I may never had considered. I’m in a place that I never thought I’d achieve in my personal growth because I let go of expectations and followed my intuition. You are right it’s not depression. To me it’s a state of angst that I pass through when I need to let go of one thing and move to the next.
I have also experienced that many times. I’ve been stifled and bored to the point of wanting to become a hermit. But then I play my favorite music and think about where I’ve been and which place inspired me the most.
That place is New Orleans. Despite the nickname Disneyland has given itself, I have determined that New Orleans is the Happiest Place on Earth. It’s music is American History, just like we are. You’ve been smart enough to openly display your part. I’m just beginning.
The music of New Orleans, the food, the city itself, is uplifting despite its poverty and its past and present problems. Beignets and coffee at the Cafe du Monde alongside the Mississippi River is a dreamy place to sit and just observe. You might be lucky and a flash band might set up across the street by the Cathedral. But when the humidity is high, wear something you don’t care having ruined by your entire body’s response. Even so, that perspiring is cleansing for your body’s pores.
You are who you are and I would accept your twitching and boredom and bitchiness when it occurs because it’s a product of a person who loves life and respects its ups and downs.
OH please, don’t quit now that I’ve found you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone 70 to find an internet Icon?
OH please, don’t quit now that I’ve found you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone 70 to find an internet Icon?
Or at least, be an email pen pal!
Your post is so timely. I told my husband just this afternoon that, six years and 200,000 words into my blog, I am going to wind it down and end it by the end of this year. Certainly not without regrets, but it would be impossible to devote myself to it and devote myself to the thing I have the greatest aptitudes for: learning languages. I can’t serve two masters, even two benevolent ones. So one must go. What is making my decision much easier is what I’ve learned through Barbara Sher’s book Refuse to Choose. I would suggest you look at Chapter 14, “Are You a Serial Specialist?” and Chapter 15, “Are You a Serial Master?” I would be curious to know whether either description strikes a chord–both do for me. I am also wondering whether “The Importance of Optimal Conflict” on page 54 of the book Immunity to Change, by Kegan and Lahey is at all helpful in clarifying where you are. These two books helped me understand where I was and helped me make really foundational decisions about my life. One more thing: the Johnson O’Connor Research Foundation’s aptitude test battery, which I took at age 54 (nine years ago) was a revelation to me–a high point in my life. They are the people who told me I should be feasting at the banquet table of languages. I’m finally going to do that. New York is one of their testing centers–take the aptitude tests and see what you find out!
I do know the feeling! I find myself starting stuff just to try to move forward but quitting midstream when it’s not satisfying. And, yes – I do find inspiration in collaborating with others. One of the nice things about being a woman of a certain age is that I am able to say no to ideas presented that don’t appeal to me. On the other hand, I do learn from others – things I might not have thought of on my own. A friend reported she attended a silence retreat recently. Since I care for a partially disabled husband, i sometimes feel drained of creativity. The silence retreat might help me get back in the creative flow.
And I thought by reinventing myself every ten or fifteen years was extreme.! I decided after 20 years of owning my own architectural design firm that I wanted to do something else creative, but more hands on. So I enrolled in a very famous art school and graduated with a degree in sculpture. Then opened a studio for the next few years doing commissions for art consultants. Very fun! But at 70 years old my body told me to stop. Now I am doing printmaking…a process called monotype or monoprint. When my husband was terminally ill,I needed something to do at home, so I began another career as a jewelry designer and maker. Wearing great pieces and doing charity boutiques is my new thing!
Best wishes to you Accidental Icon…you are a wonderful role model. Keep on growing!
I know exactly what you mean & I love the metaphor and way you articulated the feeling in such a visual way. My time frame is about 4 years and usually involves a move to another city or state and a job change in the same field. This time around I’m also looking for a different career or non-career but more of replacing career w/a few side hustles and a lot more travel…..
Looking forward to seeing where this next chapter takes you!
Absolutely. There have been those times when nothing is right – not me, not my clothing, not my hair, makeup or dwelling place, or what I am working on at the time. I fidget through the day, keep looking at the clock, and I know I am not meant to be where I am at the time. About that time, I either quit the job where I have been working. The last time I was like this, I totally created a new artful look for my old car. Somehow working on that allowed my full creativity to come out and instead of worrying about anything else, I applied myself to the new garment for the exterior of the car. In the end result, it has changed not only my own attitude about life and creativity, but it changes the attitudes of others who see it as well. Where perhaps once people seeing my old Honda Civic Hatchback on the road acted as though I was nothing but a nuisance that should get my piece of junk off the road, suddenly they were giving me the high five, peace sign, smiling and giving me thumbs up, and when I would drive into a parking lot, they made their way to me and asked to take photos, and I happily give them the go-ahead. I made a lot of new friends this way, and it started me off on a whole new adventure.
When I need to get my focus back, I turn to art. Making art gets one’s head out of social media and, actually, out of everything. It is my form of meditation.
Yes, I understand completely. At 59 I am a full time student back in school due to the same restlessness you describe. And with the semester over, my brain is now free to fill up with non-school thoughts and ideas for exploration over the summer. I’m inspired for new things and longing for people I had to put on hold for studies. It feels like a wave that I’m riding between being disciplined and then reconnecting with my “free” self. Making on making sense of it all.
you are very “chic”
I call this feeling “floopy” (made-up word) and that feeling of not being able to settle or concentrate on anything of any substance. I find that walking in nature helps, getting out of the office, away from my computer, and the noise of the city and going into a natural environment and walking – and then ideas start to flow and the floopy recedes.
And I thought it was because spring was here. I took down a print that I considered too dark and put up a fresh new painting I had done for the occasion.
I got my hair cut. New bright red shoes that I call “my ruby red slippers”.
I found in my twenties that every seven years something new happened to me. I now use numerology and the 9 year cycle.
I believe women, especially, feel the need to reinvent themselves more so than men. It’s like chapters of our books, we need a new character.
I’m in the middle of this chapter, but I’m feeling the need to add mystery to it in case anyone is reading along with me.
So as the snow melts and the flowers start to bloom, I’m shedding the winter’s dark cast and giving myself a new bud to bloom, both indoors and internally.
These are some of the symptoms I feel when change is required. But then comes the exhilarating process of bringing it about. That is perhaps when I am at my best… focusing on what I want more of and letting go of the rest. For me, this often presents as bringing about a new place for my family to live. Refining what we will take when we go and rethinking what it is the new place will influence me to wear. As with any trip, it also brings about the completion of jobs that have lingered a little too long. Liberation at its best.
I wholeheartedly agree with each of you… I have learn to be still in those moments and learn to embrace what each day brings my way. Love one day at a time. Then my next new venture comes.
Always thinking about what I have, and trying not to compare myself with others – there will always be someone ‘better’ and ‘worse’. I agree that the over use of Social Media can be destructive, I feel for the youth.
If you have your health, you more blessed than many.
Be kind to yourself.
While it is great and admirable that you seek to grow and to reinvent yourself, the challenge is to not have those who are close to you pay a price as you do this. To have people close enough to you to give your their clear observation that you are petulant and bitchy, is a gift. It seems that this is as large an opportunity for self-growth as re-inventing. How do you move through life and challenging times in a way that remains loving and peaceful?
I suspect that we all share these feelings periodically. As I read your description of “the time is coming” my thoughts turned to my career turns. Five years is about right. I am currently at 3+ years in retirement and I am starting to ponder about what’s next for me. It’s like an itch…it starts slowing and builds to a level of excruciating pain if not attended to.
My kickstarter for change is travelling. When the airplane lifts off the ground I begin the process of shedding my old skin and opening myself up to whatever comes my way. On my last journey into the unkn0wn my husband and I spent 12 days on an island off the coast of Cambodia and never, not once, wore shoes. It sounds like such a simple thing but for urban dwellers this was a remarkable experience.
Maybe you don’t have to head off to the far corners of the world to kick off your shoes but changing one thing that you take for granted can have a profound effect on your body and mind.
You are describing burn-out, plain and simple. I recognised it at once because I felt the same way after 30 years in the UK’s NHS. I left five years ago and was immediately (the next day!) able to breathe properly again. It was like taking off a great, heavy coat that I hadn’t realised I was wearing. I didn’t reinvent myself, though that does sound like fun, but I did become fully myself. After all those years in such a people-intense environment, I discovered that I am at my most content living quietly and making stuff with my hands and I was not aware of that standing in the maelstom of hospital life.
As for Planet Social Media, it is indeed both entertaining and toxic. It’s a bit like sugar or alcohol. A little now and then is fun and does no harm but too much will make you sick. And there’s a beautiful, real world right in front of us. I see people, especially the young, so glued to their little screens that I wonder if they have entered the Matrix.
I hope you find your sky soon. For what it’s worth, I produce my most creative thinking when I’m in the dark place. It is not wasted time.
For a decade and a half, I worked as a journalist. My inspiration for change came when my children were born. Expanding on the philosophy of Spiderman, it is not just power that comes with great responsibility, children come with even greater responsibility. Children force us to consider the tomorrow that our children will inherit. I looked at what I was doing as a journalist and felt that I was sitting on the sidelines. I went to law school and now I am in the game. For the last nineteen years I have worked in a juvenile court, impacting my own children’s futures and impacting the futures of the hundreds of children I see every year.
I still believe in journalism and “that democracy dies in the darkness”(quote from the Washington Post). I also believe that we evolve and I know that my evolution was right for me.
Ditto. Society tells us to conform. That getting bored easily is a bad thing. That changing careers, styles, houses, friendships, interests frequently is a personality flaw. It’s not normal. We should be satisfied. That we are a quitter…For a creative or those who by nature are entrepreneurial, its necessary to reinvent. To take what was good and what worked well in the previous interest and morf it into something different. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, but courageous for trying. I know that choking feeling. Thank you for putting words to it.
I recommend tap dancing. Take a class. It will provide you with focus, rhythm and a great satisfaction when you master a sequence.
like to make things..clothes, fiber, decorating. My hands seem to twitch as if I have some sort of disease and I don’t get calm until I am creating. Those days when I have to deal with the mundane aspects of life and don’t find some space and time to create I can get very bitchy and ornery. I seem to be going through a process of weeding the garden of my life..what do I want to do, whom do I want to see and how can I best use my time. As time seems to speed up I make it a point to slow down, breath, and go inward constantly asking what do I want ?
Wow…You verbalized exactly how I am feeling…Complacency sucks! I’m a doer, and when I don’t know what to do, I get mad!!! I gave up a goal after 14 yrs and I’m good with that…The problem is, what is the new goal that gets me as pumped.I did a course last weekend, it’s a start, they seem to have what I need, so I will go to Denver in 3 weeks to figure it out more…Is this the answer? Not sure. But my my mind and gut tells me to go for it. Your raw and honest posts is beautiful. I appreciate your insight and have often thought that daily blogging could get this way. Sounds like you need people stuff…I so hear you! Good luck and would still love to know the new outcome if possible…You are new for me, maybe you are part of my new venture.
You have been such an inspiration to me and still are. You have helped me to see there is beauty in every stage of life. I also crave change and periodically try to reinvent something about myself. I recently started taking piano lessons even though I am 63 with age related arthritis and had never played an instrument before. I have told myself and shared with others “if not now than when?” Now is the time to enjoy everything life has to offer. Best of luck to you on your new adventures.
Yes, I know exactly what you mean, although I suspect it manifests in slightly different ways depending upon the person. I think five years is about right, although this last cycle has lasted longer for me due to certain circumstances. I have no immediate family left, so I’ve been hesitant about putting down permanent roots. Although I love living in the mountains of North Carolina, I am concerned about getting stuck as I am nearing “so called” retirement. I was fortunate to spend a couple of weeks in Florida during January and it hit me – so I called my real estate agent and cancelled the property purchase and instead I rented a two-room starter art studio. Why have I been putting off setting up the art studio I’ve always wanted? When I have enough silk, wool and other wonderful eco-textile creations ready and my online shops are full to the brim, I’m hitting the road to sell and teach workshops and see what America and Canada and beyond have to offer as my backyard. And for anyone
sorry about the fragment … And for anyone who thinks you have to have a lot of money to do this, you don’t. Whatever your dream is, you can get there.
You have been such an inspiration to me. I want your hair, I love your style, everything…you are, “cute as a button” my grandmother would have said. Reading your blog and seeing your photographs makes me want to return to NYC.
I began feeling the same whilst in NYC, I also sighed a lot as well, like all the time! I would walk back and forth in my 350 sqft rent stabilized 1 bedroom RR Walkup apt on E. 73rd and talk to myself or to the ghost! (Now that is another story!). I seemed to continue wearing the same thing on the weekends, had no time to date as my job wore me out my last ten years of working. I felt bored, mainly of living in this apt with no outdoor space and the ‘hood’. I began finding boxes and started packing my most precious things and hiding those boxes under the bed, out of sight. I was cleaning out my life, purging, it felt good for some reason. The following year, I moved! My landlord offered me cash to vacate so that was an incentive. Coastal South Carolina, my zing was back! I have 9 different birds at my feeder, I have a backyard with jasmine, hydrangeas, basil and papyrus, azaleas and I planted a crape myrtle as well! It is my new beginning for now, this is a test to see how I like it. Mind you, I miss the dry air up there, my hair hates the humidity and it was sultry the other night. Mosquito city is my other name for this town. And my neighbor just informed me that they had a young copperhead in a pile of leaves, oh joy. Pizza Rat does not bother me but snakes in the yard do. And waterbugs? No, they call those Palmetto bugs here so you must learn the lingo.
I turn 64 in late summer…I forgot to get married whilst living in NY…the boys would say, “your job is more important than me’, I would say, “yes indeed as that is how I pay my rent”! I am on my 3rd yr. and yes, I am beginning to miss NYC, it is convenient, you do not need a car there, you have free gas and water & heat, not here. You can dress any way you want and have fun with it, not here. So my thinking is: instead of doing what I did, I wish I had found another apt with a space to sit out of doors and grow basil and geraniums and that would have snapped me out of the doldrums you & I are/was experiencing. Just sharing thoughts and that you are not alone with trying to figure out, “Destination Unknown”.
Good lord…..you are speaking what my soul has been saying and doing! Okay…..maybe I’m not a freak! Thanks for the honest words that help me understand myself a wee bit more. 🙂
Yes, I have and I am feeling the same way to some extent. I feel the need to declutter and to get rid of things that I thought important or part of my ‘identity”. It feels scary at times because I am going through this but I want this more than I am scared. I also want more from my life and my choices. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I appreciate it and it helps.
Yes, oh indeed yes! I call myself “Jane of all trades and master of none”. Love trying new experiences and adventures. Variety is the spice of life. Sometimes it’s difficult to know which spice to experience next. But that’s part of the adventure.
Spending time in nature, meditation, yoga, or dancing helps to clear my monkey mind and give fresh inspiration.
Gardening, walks in nature, listening to music I love, holding my cat, walking my very old dog (for very short walks), just sitting in the sun and closing my eyes and feeling the wind and the head and the sounds, all of these help me. I enjoy your style, it is so creative. Sometimes I just let the feelings float around and watch them like clouds until they drift away.
Thanks for being real & sharing from the heart! Your words connected with me today as I been through a few various stages, including reinvention and am reminded it’s a process… some challenging, some fun some difficult…. looking forward to hearing your next adventures in your next post, when you are ready, and wanted to say how much I appreciate your quality over quantity … more so in this crazed social media world. Cheers and best wishes.
VERY familiar! Building myself onto the top of a mountain of achievement and then needing to tear it down again… to be able to continue., grow and breathe again. I believe it is the result of extreme freedom… and acreative spirit. What you are experiencing is completely normal to me. Louise in Australia
I go out to antique store and art galleries.
I view art of all types including gardens
As I read many of the comments, I began to understand what is happening to me. I am not where I want to be but being outside in nature clears my head and my heart. I absolutely enjoy being alone at this time in my life. I am 61,an artist and writer and I have felt a bit lost. I am so glad to find women who are going through similar transitions. Thank you so much for sharing your journey…God Bless
I wish you all the best and I know you will succeed in whatever you do.
That is exactly what I needed to hear. The fact that you know you have a 5 year cycle of reinventing yourself or changing something…inspiring to me, as I am learning to reinvent myself too, and I also get similar symptoms. I am new at this, 54+ and now my authentic self. It’s good to know there is a cycle and there are symptoms of needed change. Now I know! lol. Thanks so much. Love your Blog.
I know you about a month. First of all i fell in love with your sense of fashion, but then I realized you are not just a “stylish Lady”. Thank’s God that there are people like you, who think in this way. You are incredibly authentic. Greetings from Germany
Many, many times I have experienced much of what you described.
What I have learned is my resistance to change and growth causes my “bitchiness”. An analogy … the “space” is too small for me yet I keep trying to squeeze back into that “comfort zone” rather than accept and flow with the change.
Inspiration for me varies … sit with the restless feeling and accept it … then I take inspired action to move in any way … walk or dance.
Also I write … with my pen in hand (for me brings out the creativity more than typing).
And knowing … even though I may have chosen an idea/path I can always change to another one if that one isn’t fully serving my growth.
Much love and always best to you ♥️
Your words describe me right now as I realize I have only a few years left (at my choosing) in the traditional work-for-pay world. I feel restless and yet nervous about what lays ahead. I am a planner and am coming to realize this is not always necessary or desirable. I am learning to let life experiences come without excess anticipation of what those might be. I am trying to be present in every moment, which requires a calm mind. My life blood is swimming. It is allowing me the opportunity to be around distractions while focusing on the sensations around me…the feel of the water, the changing sounds, and taste of salty water on my lips. Similar to yoga. Courage is what you show me. That is what I need more of. Courage to let life happen and learning to respond in my self-determined, appropriate manner. All the best to you as your journey continues.
I’ve been thinking about your post for the past couple of days and now I see all these wonderful comments and ideas from other women. Wow! There’s a lot here.
Social media, the internet, streaming media, etc. does change the brain. I think more about my writing and control my words carefully on social media. In a real life conversation the words can come tumbling out. The aliveness of the other person, their questions, looking at their face and wondering what they are thinking–it almost feels like a different language.
Thank you for sharing how you feel with us! The opportunity to listen to what you have to say and see your images has broadened my world. I’d be equally grateful to hear what happens when you figure it out…
I’m similar. And I’m experiencing this right now! However, I don’t want to throw away the baby with the bathwater and reinvent myself AGAIN ?. I want to pivot! When I get restless and anxious, yeah you could call it pissy, I dig down deep and get spiritual and quiet for a while. For me, it’s the Bible. I read it, ponder it, and spend time alone. I also tend to get more physically active at times like this.
I so identify with your restlessness and need for stimulation and impact. I, too, am in the field of mental health and feel constantly challenging to be centered myself and to seek to make a positive difference in the world. Like you, I have to be open to ALL of the thoughts feelings and experiences of my life. In fact, I, too, am making a similar venture out into the world….risking the unknown and trying to be confident that wherever it takes me will be O.K….. that it will teach me new lessons and further my growth…..I will be led….and it will be O.K.:-)
Hmmm. Five year cycles seem to coincide with the exact cycle of when the walls need to be repainted.
It is a big job when you do it yourself, and in a way the opposite of social media. One must pay attention and become absorbed in the task, or things will get ugly. The reward at the end is a fresh new beginning.
This is what I do in times of evolution. Perhaps it is because I feel like moving on, and fresh paint makes that possible, even if it doesn’t happen.
I have I have I have! Until my husband was diagnosed with AltzheimersDementia… That’s when REINVENTION happens, regardlessly. I discovered another side of me, a notsogood side BUT a little voice ( a Big God’s soft whisper) said I have a two choices. One, run away or two, sit tight and make it my PROJECT and see if I can get a high score maybe a distinction. Some days my scores are shamelessly low and other days actually damn good. It all depends on my own schedule of priorities and discipline thereof. Healthy eating (I follow Dr Steve Gundry’s Plant Paradox), physical exercise (Dr Mercola’s 7 minute daily regime plus walk-jog twice a week by the most beautiful Manly beach, Australia), simple though but ruthlessly regular, tennis once a week (and I’ve learnt to say NO when my dear hubby wants to join me – nowadays he misses every freekin ball!), ME TIME, brushing shoulders with the saints (saved sinners) at church. But the bottomline is GRACE and a lot of deep breaths. THANK YOU for your amazing blog and great style. Wishing you fun-filled wisdom. ELISE@70 Instagram elise.grey
Inagree with the comments that suggests you find inspiration in yourself.
Let the time pass untill you know what to do.
As I am going through something similar I can suggest going back to the stuff you once knew. I mean, I am starting to learn watercolour again and I am trying to learn how to go forward on my travel blog for people our age.
I recently retired and that requires some thinking, too.
So, put the glove on and start researching you next options ?
Best of luck on your journey.
Hi, I am new to reading your work but I can relate even though I am quite young (21). I have had this feeling though before, well, actually two days ago. I find that grounding and reconnecting to my heart and loved ones helps to remind me of what is important to me. Sending Love.
I think you are right about social media…it takes your time and then controls your thinking somehow… I have found leaving the technology behind for a week helped me refocus and stopped that constant bombardment of strings of interfering thought patterns. I’ve also reintroduced meditation into my day and can’t believe what a difference just 5-10 minutes of that a day is making, even though I am now using technology again, I’m not drawn to it as much and therefore I’m in control!
I wish you well with your next chapter. Enjoy the change and being present in the moment as they say!
A good sole recommended the book “Move your DNA, by Katy Bowman”. It has changed my life on so many levels. I think our discontent comes from our ancient need for movent in natural settings and doing it barefoot. I listened to the audio book and joined Katy’s streaming classes, located at nutritiousmovement.com. I am a hairdresser for forty years, so I adore fashion, I did not not realize the micro movements my body was missing, and how it affected my mental state! I was experiancing pain and less mobility which was depressing. We are not merely mannequins, in order to express our artistic nature, we need to get back in touch with our
propioceptors.
Your post tells of how i’ve been feeling for a while now, but struggled to be clear about what was happening to me, but knew that I was not depressed as told to me by one Dr. Mulling over your words and then coming back a few day’s later to read the comments from your wise followers, I’ve become clear about what I want to be doing in this next chapter of my life and that is to return to the profession of social work, but in a different setting. I left the profession after becoming burnt out and spent time uncluttering my life & getting myself back on track. Establishing a blog & biz to share what I learnt on my uncluttering journey was fulfilling at first but a few years in i’m feeling uninspired by the social media marketing & the fakeness of biz marketing that is required to get yourself out to your prospective customers. Writing this, i’m excited to be starting a new week & though unsure of how I’m going to get there I’m now looking forward to new beginings & turning 50 in 2months.
I find your posts inspiring! As a “Woman of a Certain Age”, I love seeing your fashion, reading your thoughts and in general, your engagement with life! We need inspiration that “sparks joy” and gets us excited for life!!
How came you to be in my head? Last December I turned 50 and right now, I am recovering from a surgery to correct a 10 year issue. My recovery couldn’t be dragging more slowly!!! I am DYING to reinvent and get on with my life and of course I’m chained to healing…I am slowly building my reinvention, making notes, writing, doing small things to help me and please me to make this transition into something fabulous…I wish all of us going through transition a peaceful and positive experience…
Your reflection is so refreshing and encouraging! I am going through this right now and think my timeline in the quest to challenge myself is very similar to yours. My boys are heading off to college in the fall and I have the time and opportunity to search for a new career challenge. I have tuition to pay but yearn for something that will make a difference in people’s lives! I don’t want to waste this opportunity to do something meaningful and yet find myself spinning in circles not sure which exit to take on this turnabout.
I found yoga not long ago and when the instructor said “Take a moment to just…breathe.” I realized that I hadn’t allowed myself to do that … maybe ever. So today I awoke with the goal to “Just breathe.” I read your note, stepped out of my comfort zone to respond, and feel strengthened by the thought I’m not alone in this quest to continuously reinvent myself. Thank you!
Hi Lyn, your reflections really resonated with me. However, I find your 5 year cycle is actually my 18 month one! All my life I’ve found a repeated pattern of starting something new (scary), 6 months in I start to get comfortable, 6 months later I’m restless. I do get a little anxious at the end of something because I often get ‘foggy’. I can’t think what I want to do or how I’m going to do it. Usually, the answer comes, if I just relax. Then I meet the right people, find the inspiration in a book or a post, get clarity about my purpose. You are so right when you say it comes with a serving of frustration (my middle name). Glad I’m not alone in this. And BTW loved your keynote at AICI Conference. Happy exploring.
I can sympathize with your sensation of dullness, although my cycle is more yearly. It seems easy to get bogged down with work and everyday life. The drudgery can significantly impact my creativity.
For me, I find that traveling to a different location, even if just for a conference, and having stimulating conversations with new people (and their different viewpoints) revitalizes me. The energy and stimulation from these activities must satisfy my latent extroversion in a way that it “jump starts” my brain. Always a very satisfying and rewarding experience.
I missed this post! But I know the angst you describe. I also know the 5-year re-assessment piece. Since I retired I do what I love—a luxury, a builder of creativity, a sustainer of joy, a kindler of ideas among others and, at times, an inspiration to others. But there comes a day that I look to it with a sigh, a sense of “have to.” The antidote can be doing less of the activity or taking a three-month “sabbatical.” In either case, it’s an opprotunity to kick off or investigate something else. And it always means talking to others for input. In my case, I phased out my work while putting something else together. It worked but I still pitch in quarterly in an advisory capacity to the former work. Loving what I do is essential. When that bond is shaky or missing, I don’t even recognize myself. My clothes don’t recognize me either, nor I them. It feels like loss, the kind that could have been prevented. That sense of right and fulvillment is actually a full-time job so good luck to all of us!
Thanks for this. I turned 59 in March and ever since I see 60 looming I feel like a change is necessary. I want to do something creative (I write, sew, make jewelry, you name it) but can’t land on any one thing. I still have a corporate job which I am about to start reduced hours (yay!) and I feel like once I have more time I can really figure out my next chapter. Reading blogs like yours are so helpful and inspirational, I really hope you don’t give up writing, people need it. I hope you find the renewal you are looking for. Just the fact that you are restless and twitchy means you are still growing – that’s a good thing!
My word!! With all the advice and ‘diagnosis’ you’ve been given, if you haven’t checked out of all social media and taken medication then you are truly Wonder Woman!!!
(I use to have a blog…no more. I think about it sometimes then realize I’m healthier without.)
YES!! We reinvent ourselves because it keeps us growing, interesting and fulfilled!! We crave the desired ness of plunging into something that interests us, consumes us even! We ride it until we see it has come up to the station platform and is slowly winding down…that’s when we get off, have a sit on the train station bench…contemplate what interests us next, whether it be a continuing of that train or hopping aboard a new one for a new destination. We haven’t lost our mind nor our way!! We have, in fact, been in touch with ourself…we’ve listened when it said whoa…and waited till it said GO. That’s healthy for body and soul.
Lyn, I so enjoy your site. And the May 2 post was right on time. I try to reboot, reinvent, release and change whenever my inner voice says “Go!” Sometimes, that means a journey, it means a film, a walk, a long think…Often I’m feeling weird, sad, tired, overwhelmed because, as a friend of mine wisely said, “the well is dry.” So it’s time to fill it.
For each cycle, the refilling process may be different: a long walk for some, a change in projects for another. A clear-out of the basement (!) – and this time, that adventure yielded an item I’d been looking for and thought was lost. The process takes as long as it takes but when it’s over, I emerge from that tunnel in a new skin, so to speak. A slight change of inner “outfits” as well as, on occasion, a change in the outer ones. This voyager is not finished traveling.
SW
I like this picture of you in au courant shades, holding a bag with extra room, your coffee, headed out for a NYC adventure–standing, not sitting, on the metro. You are riding in the car just ahead of me.
Next year will be my last full one in academia, one more sabbatical in FA20, then a final semester, then…retirement. All my life I’ve been a practicing visual artist and an art college professor. My art is fueled by working in a large community of artists, young and old. What will happen when I’m alone in my studio, no one to tug at my sleeve, no work to spark dialogs that bring me back to my own.
I want to relish retirement, the last chapter, want it to count. About a decade ago, I realized that I was finally making the drawings I’d yearned to be able to make when I was an art student, but couldn’t, and worse, never believed I would. I make them now, the beginnings of arthritis in my hands, and glaucoma. It is a joy to do so.
In my teens, I wanted to grow up to be Georgia O’Keeffe, let my hair grow long and wore loose black dresses with Keds. I thought if I had her look, then I could be her, even though I’m an ocean, not a desert person, and never wanted a Stieglitz. This was how I thought when young, although my hair is still long and my dresses loose and black.
We are so much more ourselves now. Unable to know what life holds next, we squeeze the juice out of now. Yum.
In the span of 9 months, 3 life-altering changes have occurred. Nine months ago I was “pushed” out of a volunteer position with a non-profit that I’ve been active with for 33 years. In April it was determined that my husband’s mother could no longer live alone so we invited her to come and live with us. And one week ago I was “forced” to retire from a job I’ve loved for nearly 34 years (my last day is next week). Needless to say, my head is spinning. But, ready or not, change has come. I’m going to take some time to catch my breath. and then, who knows?