I read a very interesting article the other day on The Cut, A Guide to Intuitive Eating. I suppose I should state upfront what constitutes “an interesting article” for me. It’s simply something written in a way that it makes me think of something I think I know in a different way. The article raises the issues of “rules” and how we usually blindly and obediently follow them. For me, this has not been the case generally once I have an awareness of a “rule” for example something like, “Never wear white after Labor Day”. My response to these dictates is usually, “Who says so?” Rebellion is generally effective if you are aware you are following a certain rule. This article makes the case that it is hard to break rules if we are not even consciously aware we are following them.
The ah-ha moment in this article for me was the idea that many of the health, wellness and diet narratives are all premised on the underlying concept of calorie restriction. I finally realized why when following various “healthy” eating regimes underneath the complimenting myself for being “healthy”, I felt so pissed off and controlled. Consistent with being in the “nowness”, intuitive eating suggests we slow down, tune into our body and pay attention to what it is saying it wants and/or needs. It is a healing response to restriction, dieting and a diet culture that’s filled us with what is called “dieting rules” such as, “carbs and sweets are bad” and “you can have “cheat days” but limit yourself all the other times”. Food rules have been in our life a long time (i.e. “eat your carrots they are good for your eyes”) and now I know why I have consistently embraced but then rebelled against them never really finding a way of eating that just filled me with plain joy and satisfaction.
When you feel guilty and anxious about eating something for intuitive eating the important question to ask is, “What rule do I need to question and deconstruct?” Then do a re-frame. Why is gaining three more pounds a bad thing? How might it be a good thing? Why might having the bread my DNA always tells me to have and listening to myself be a good thing? Well for one the research on intuitive eating shows it’s associated with better mental health. On the fashion and beauty end and my face looks less drawn and prettier with a few extra pounds. I think what we have all been talking about in the “what nowness” is really a kind of “Intuitive Living”. As a generation, we are questioning rules about what it means to be older. Younger people are questioning rules about work, gender, and other topics and I find more and more they, like us, may feel anxious when breaking them. No matter what our age, embracing our “nowness”, being ourselves, slowing down and critically evaluating rules society says we must follow and making a choice that is authentic to us are all parts of this way of living. Best of all we become the boss of our life, the boss of what we eat and the boss of our style (and lots of other things too).
What “rules” are you currently evaluating for potential breaking or re-framing?!
I cant help but to “speak truth to power” in a culture that values blind diplomacy of conformity. I have not been promoted as fast as any of my peers, but I never feel guilty or untrue to my self after I have given my honest assessment to my boss.
I love to read your writings. I’ve been in a kind of limbo for the last couple of months due to a major surgical procedure which has kept me from dressing as I like best and even caused some body image issues due to the appearance of the incision site. That is slowly resolving and I’m finally able to do more and more of my normal routine, so I’m hoping to get my style back the way I like it soon. Getting the area back in shape (for my core in order to help me balance and protect me from falls better) will help with the body image issue, and I’m starting to feel like reconnecting with some old friends which I’d put on hold during recovery. Your writings of continued self discovery are an inspirational part of my regaining normalcy and what makes me sparkle. Thank you.
At 72 I am realizing and questioning the information that has been dictated from one generation to another.
Thank goodness for the questioning minds with which we children of the sixties have been blessed .
I am grateful for the ability to finally listen to myself and for my spirit which motivates me when I am in doubt.
Grateful that I have found your blog and I always say that hair and fashion are the great unifyers of women?
Yes, indeed and they don’t need to frivolous topics either.
Best wishes for continued recovery!
love love this i am 64 i hav never follow the rules i created them ..not hurtin anyone in the process should say..but as i was told years ago i match to a different beat!!!
According to the Mayo Clinic…
“Beta-carotene is found in carrots; dark-green leafy vegetables, such as spinach and green leaf lettuce; sweet potatoes; broccoli; cantaloupe; and winter squash. The body converts beta-carotene into vitamin A.”
So…yes, carrots (beta carotene and Vitamin A) can help keep eyes, skin, and the immune system healthy. Not necessarily one of those rules to rebel against.
GO DADDY commercial pointed me to you, but the things you have to say, made me follow. This 63 y/o black woman loves you. Period. If you had a church, i’d go to it! Keep being free; keep living boldly.
Wow now that’s a compliment!
Love it!!!!
Love getting this newsletter! Love your look. Inspiring, creative, encouraging. All sooooo important at this age (or non-age!)
Am sharing with other friends.
Thank you so much.
Very good food for thought. Well said. I’m a work in progress and still trying to embrace who I am…at 69!
Approaching 60 I have decided to consciously slow down so I can ultimately achieve more .
Today I started to wake around 4.30 am so at 4pm I gave in to the much needed siesta I never have !
I woke at 5.30pm and enjoyed gardening in the cooler air till 7pm. Evening meal at 8pm bed by 10.30 pm I feel tired but not exhausted .
Oh and if my body tells me I need chocolate I will have some
Lovely script to follwo
After major and scary health issues, I am now doing what I want, when I want and eating what I want. I’ve found that my “wants ” are turning out to be healthy food and healthy choices – not what I’m “supposed ” to want. I’m in the best health I’ve been in for years, and I’m enjoying life more than I have in a long time.
Interesting right? When you take away someone trying to control you, you end up doing the right thing.
I agree with you 100%!! I honestly think dieting and the whole feeling deprived feeling only screws up your metabolism. You lose 10 then gain 15. I think I dieted my way up by 50# Then, I stopped dieting. I never gained another pound. I ate what I wanted & was not at war with food or my body any longer. And that’s when the weight came off. Because I was eating what I wanted, it took the power of binging away. And as I naturally moved more & could DO more, the weight came off.
Love your column❤️
Great advice.
We live by the rules we are conditioned to accept as truth on every aspect of our lives. To finally wake up, question them and realise it’s all nonsense and we’ve made ourselves unhappy trying to follow them is so liberating. Getting older is a wonderful time for examining everything and keeping only that which nourishes our souls and gives joy. Enjoy your journey, it never ends and is so rewarding. I enjoy reading your posts and connecting with a like minded soul.
I kid you not, this has been my inner voice for the past couple of weeks. More so about just letting go all the dieting rules and striving to be a few kilos lighter. I’ve made a conscious decision to just eat what I want when I want and do my best to embrace my body and love it the way it is rather than persist with the torturous behaviour of restriction and rules.
I’ve tried everything – and as I get older I’ve realised it’s not making me happy.
I’m surrounded by women my own age who are guilty of constantly striving to be thinner – including my best friends. And perhaps it’s because I’ve always gone against the grain that I’m enjoying smearing butter on my toast in front of them when we have our weekly breakfast.
You are right and we all need to learn to just be. Be ourselves and be in the moment.
I hope I can sustain my new rule of life that there are no rules 🙂
We can all support each other in this as many others are trying to achieve the same.
The rule that once you retire it is all downhill from there. That is not me as I enter my “third act” as Jane Fonda puts it. It’s all uphill as I embark on the freedom, wisdom and possibilities that aging provides and the fact that I have been living a wellness lifestyle for a long time and it pays off – “in the end”. Thanks for being an advocate for breaking rules and eating how you body wants you to eat.
I find that one of the gifts of being old enough to have gone through the time of flower power, authority is always questioned. No need to blindly accept others rules.
AGREE! And I lOVE LOVE LOVE the bag and blouse. I choose to break habits when I eat – I’m trying to reprogram off bread and pasta, sweets and alcohol because, as I age, I feel their effects on me. I am mindfully eating – not as a Zen awareness but as a scientist studying cause and effect. Alcohol makes me tired the next day unless I drink lots of water and eat protein. Meat gives me hot flashes – I eat very little of it because they scare me. And so on. I am gearing up for retirement and 70. In the seven years to that point, I am focusing on my body and my checkbook. Not only am I clearing out what is not needed (and trying to turn it into cash as I go) but I am investing in good habits. I don’t want a face lift – I want MUSCLES. The hardest problem I have had is figuring out where to live in retirement. I want to be in a more urban setting but I want my garden and quiet. I may need a suburb closer to the city (EXPENSIVE!!) or get over my fear of coping with an acre as an older person. Am I a type A control freak? About my person – yes! Because no one is going to take care of me like I can.
Words of wisdom and some questions we are all thinking about.
Thanks for a really interesting article. When I retired I gave myself a “year of No Should’s”
Eat what I like, drink what I like— over the year I gained 3 kilos and now intuitive eating works for me- after a while even chocolate cake gets boring!
Love the no shoulds!
Thanks for this posting. Yes, I like to break rules that make no sense to me. Usually social rules that are now out of date or have been made up to oppress w9men and keep them in line. Just turned 62 and reaffirmed that I am definitely the Boss of Me. Crazy diet rules are out to,make money off insecure people who have eating issues. Maybe when we just admit we eat too much food, too much rubbish and sit still for too long – Simple as that, and our obesity is our own problem to solve.
And as an Australian I hadn’t heard the white shoes and Labor Day rule. How funny.
Love your work, your look and musings. Visit me: https://travelgaltravels.com
Who says I can’t walk down to the frozen yogurt store and pile a cup full of yummy goodness with toppings: chocolate chunks, coconut, and crushed nuts, for lunch?
I have been Gluten Free for years………maybe 12 years and now I am DIARY FREE per my doctor for a few months and also YEAST FREE!Very little SATISFACTION OUT THERE FOR ME THESE DAYS!!!
Yeast is in EVERYTHING………almost!
Even Melon she says if its on its way out!
I like what you said about LISTENING TO YOUR BODY!It will tell you what you need to eat!
My Mother was always a bit over weight but she never looked her AGE especially when she hit 92!
She always said a bit of FAT is GOOD makes you look YOUNGER!
Eating is one of LIFE’s PLEASURES as my ITALIAN HUSBAND SAYS………….why rob yourself of a PLEASURE. Eat in moderation if you tend to have a health issue!
Love your article
The rule of how to dress once we ladies “mature”. I dreaded that part of aging – there go all the fun cloths, etc. I dress how I want these days – at 63, if it be jeans and a T-shirt or dressed to the nines. I wear what I – not society – says I feel comfortable in.
Dear Icon, as someone who has struggled with eating disorders this concept is beyond life-changing! Thank you for sharing x
‘Dress your age’
Absolutely no way am I ever going to stop wearing trends that I love, bright colours that clash and 6” heels.
I will continue to make up every day and wear individual lashes.
At no point will I cease from back combing my hair.
The earrings will get no smaller.
All this unless dementia sets in and I forget!! But I have warned friends that should they notice a change in any of the above they must get me to the Doctors pretty darn quick.
Where do you get your fabulous fantastic earrings?
vintage fairs and events.
I love this article! I’m a rebel generally but yes I follow the rules and then feel very uncomfortable about doing it….at 73 I’m now just LIVING and doing my own thing ❤
I was thinking similar thoughts today. I was in Ikea and going in the opposite direction to the illuminated arrows on the floor. I got a few odd looks from other people obediently being shepherded around coffee tables and home office. I was asking myself why I always am tempted to question the status quo. When you start to ask ‘why?’ there always seems to be good answers for walking in the opposite direction ?
I love this story! I felt so controlled by those arrows whenever I was in IKEA LOL
I am the boss of myself talk about a paradigm shift even at 65! Thanks for your words!
So original
I think some of us by nature of our personality type is somehow really happy when we flout conventions or bash through a perceived ‘rule’. Others are nervous and anxiety ridden by the same actions. I have friends who are wildly self righteous about their carefully monitored eating habits and others who could give a flying fig about food generally. As a fellow boomer, I think it is very much ‘right nowness’ to challenge these shibboleths and find our own way and, equally importantly, not deride others for finding other ways that work for them.
Yes, a respectful approach. All you can do is present healthy alternatives.
My grandmothers, both of them, wore conservative dresses. ALL the time. They both resisted pantsuits when they became popular. I remember thinking that when I became 60 yrs old that everything would have to change and I was full of dread. I am now 66 years old and I wear shorts all the time or capris. Sometimes I feel guilty, but I don’t need to impress anyone. I retired last year and it’s time for me to just be me.
Good for you this is our generation and we need to create the stories about it.
Reinventing myself as a senior female without looking ridiculous. I’m struggling with what my new style is, to include hair, now that I’m in my late 60s.
You are an inspiration. Many thanks.
I love this article in that it changes the concept of “breaking the rules” (a perceived negative) into “reframing.” That, in and of itself, changes the perspective to one of owner vs. victim. I’ve been contemplating the eating rules for a long time and have started listening to my body and learning to love it in all of its many manifestations. Thank you!
So much of how we get in trouble can be traced to how we think.
Brava, accidental icon, for bringing this up. If we just PAY ATTENTION TO OUR SELVES! I have been through every diet regime, calories, carbs, etc. Ferchrissake, moderation in all things and well all be perfect. 2 bites of dessert isn’t gonna killya!
I am breaking diet ‘rules’ left and right and have been for a long time. I certainly don’t eat what is now considered a healthy diet. I relish having Fran’s Dark Chocolate sauce with vanilla ice cream 3 or more times a week for dinner, usually when I have improv class and am not home till 10 or 10:30. I have discovered that I like that little feeling of being ‘bad’, an eating ‘outlaw’. It gives a little spice to the meal. Thanks for your insights. I always enjoy reading your perspective on things and it gives me new thoughts as well.
I always get so much out of your writing. I am older than you, but I have been questioning “rules” related to our health and how we choose to live for a long, long time. When I was a child, my mother first told me and my younger brother that we had to eat our carrots because they put red hair on our chest. Now with silly rules like that, or those that were equally strange, who wouldn’t question them/ Why on earth would I ever want red hair on my chest. My hair was naturally a strawberry blonde, so that felt disgusting.
Several years ago when I got a Stage One cancer, the oncologists were telling me that if I didn’t have five days a week of radiation for six weeks and take five years of anti-hormonal therapy, that the cancer would come back within a year. Every woman who gets cancer goes through this and the worst of it all is that other women who have had cancer all tell you different things so that it is even more difficult to find the correct answers. I went home and did my research, reading everything I could get my hands on. First of all, there was not one of the medications available that did not have some severe things that went with it in terms of how you would feel. Secondly, if you have breast cancer in your left breast, you are more likely to die from a heart attack because of the radiation than to have it help you. Even the proton radiation which focuses on a specific area more closely is not recommended for breast cancer. After doing a lot of research and study, I told the oncologist no. Then he told me that the percentages were very high, so I asked him how high, and he told me 1 – 2%. I said that was considered very low and he said, “But that is 1 – 2% of 100.” Wow, who would have thought? I did take math in high school and in the universities, and I guess I understand percentages.
I had that surgery in May, went to a music festival the next day and stayed 10-1/2 hours and danced like crazy with some of the other ladies who were asked to dance up on stage. That October, I finished my degree in Criminal Justice.
So in my mind, we need to consider regardless of rules, etc., what is right at any given time for us and we need to be the ones who have the final say-so. As you so wisely brought out in other words, we are not statistics, and we are not some rules that other people have created and we don’t even know where they got that information or how the study was performed, the control situations, etc. Yet these things are taken for granted every single day for women.
I was 74 when I had that surgery, and I am now 77 and running smoothly still. I can do things physically that a lot of 35-year-olds cannot do and I have goals and dreams that will take me into the hundreds at least! No rules for this lady. What is right for me is what is right for me, and the rest can do what is right for them. Thank you so kindly for bringing up this good topic, and yes, you know, you look just great every time I see a photo of you. You are definitely a wonderful inspiration.
Wow, so just for clarification you had the surgery but did not do the radiation? I never thought about the left breast is where the heart would be and that radiation can affect it. One thing I tip my hat to….these Milleniums are not made up of the lasting stock of your era. I pray I can keep up, I am between baby boomers and traditional. I am grateful that God has graced you with more years and many to come.
You are an inspiration! Good on you for challenging the norm ??
Great story! My oncology nurse daughter has always advised me, that if I happen to get cancer to avoid chemotherapy, radiation etc because “That’s what will kill you mum!”. You are a strong, brave woman.
Wow!! Thank you for great inspiration! I just turned 70 and for my birthday I had a Croning. A party where I celebrated being a wise woman; a woman secure in my fashion sense, my hair color: sparkling gray, and my wisdom.
Have fun, be kind.
Happy Birthday!
Right now, I only want to give to and take from this world all things that produce love, truth, joy and beauty. If you read legitimate science, much that we thought we knew about diet is being proven untrue. For example, obeisity has been blamed for many health issues. Now science is questioning whether the yoyo dieting is really the cause of increased disease. I am not, for a minute saying that we should all gain weight. But I am saying that we are all meant to be different shapes and sizes. We should be embracing “health at every size” which is actually a current movement among some dietitians and other health practicioners. Each of us is beautiful in our own way, and each of us should work to add love and joy to our own and each other’s lives.
Great philosophy.
Thank you for this post. Indeed even when we want to “brake” rules we conform into others.
This article is so timely for me as I’m going through another transformation in relation to the way I eat. At 53, I can safely say I’ve tried it all and I read a book that recently that focused more on why we eat as much as what we eat and I’ve learned the following.
I eat nostalgically. By that I mean I’m programmed to crave that end of day after dinner snack I used to get before bed as a child. I long for those potato chips I befriended as a teen that tasted so good before I knew anything about body image. And I refuse to live in my world without cake.
Now that my intuitive eating has matured into what I know are also sustainable habits. For instance, chocolate will always be a part of my life because it’s delicious, luxurious, comfortable and happy – all things I want my life to be. I refuse to follow any rules of restriction. So my motto is when you can have it all it’s easy to choice what you need.
Hello. I am enjoying your writings on “what nowness” as I am an LMSW, who has also recently retired from active practice. I live in the Dallas area. I am trying to find my style in wardrobe and what life pursuits. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Being a social worker has always helped me to have many ideas since we draw on so many different knowledge bases. No doubt you will find it.
thanks for this viewpoint. I’m wrestling with this exact issue. Tired of following the caloric rules, just need to pay attention to my body. love your blog!
Amen!
Love this. Have always been very anti ‘diet’, in the weight loss sense of the word. My daughter had anorexia which meant she ruled herself by those numbers.
However, recently, nearing the age of 47 and putting on a bit of weight I did two things. I integrated a more plant based diet (am vegetarian anyway) and sought a health coach. The two are opposing forces. Plant based diet is actually delicious and the recipes I’m using don’t mention nutrition for the exact reason you mention – eat intuitively.
The health coach isn’t wrong per say, but to lose the pounds I’m advised to consume 1000 calories a day across 6 meals.
I feel like I need a food magician.
So this article feels like one of those synchronicities in life where the universe just throws subtle queues your way to nudge you in the right direction. Yesterday’s nudge in a similar vein was from my sister.
I loved this article because it reminded me that I’ve strayed from my usual intuitive path.
Thanks for that ?♀️
That 1000 cal diet is what is usually prescribed, listen to your body.
One of your best blogs.
It really is being in tune with and aware of your body. Sometimes I feel mindless. Food for thought…
What I have observed is, one year something one eats is good for you and the next it is not.
At 66 years of age I am doing my best to listen to my body’s needs, exercising regularly because it helps my thinking and my body and not following fads.
I am also working on accepting that as one ages the body changes and hey, it is what comes from within that helps me and all of us I believe to grow older with grace, style and an individual zest for life.
Yes if you live long enough you see that happen with many things. An endless pendulum swing.
As an athlete I can eat pretty much what I want, but I do try to eat good quality local food, with a lot of variety. If I don’t watch my weight I’m about 5 lbs more than my “ideal” weight, but I’m having fun eating, and I still look leaner than 95% of the population. My ideal is based on performance, not visual. I know I can climb hills faster on a bike at the lower weight, but is it worth the trouble? Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. The most important thing is to be healthy and happy.
Agreed.
I would like to break the rule: do not wear shorts over 50!
Now I just need to find the perfect shorts!
Go for it!
I really like the way you put this question about eating rules. I’m a few years your senior and grew up in England in era of Twiggy and that sort of skinny look. As a consequence I was always on some form of diet. Until I had children in my mid thirties. I gained roundness but carried on with healthy eating and exercise to control weight. Now in my sixties I’ve chosen a smooth wrinkle free complexion over a thinner frame. But I do love real whole meal and sour dough bread. I follow no food fads. I eat my five a day fruit and veg and plenty of leafy greens. Low fat olive oil little booze etc etc. And I feel and look good on my regimen. And get pleasure from my choices of food.
The key is pleasure. I was obsessed with Twiggy.
I have been a rule breaker for many years.I have turned the side of my yard near my driveway into a butterfly garden and leave the clover growing in my grass
I know I get crazy looks and comments about it from neighbors with perfectly coiffed green lawns.
I am all about the naturalness of my yard for the bees and butterflies and the creatures that find a safe haven in the maelstrom of poison surrounding my yard.
I look and see only beauty in the ‘weeds’.
A wonderful approach!
Good morning!
As I write this comment I am watching the sunrise to start a beautiful day!
As a visual artist I take great pride in breaking as many rules as I possibly can!
Regards
JD
Love this I have always wondered just WHO makes up the “ rules “ .
That is the operative question.
My motto is “Rules were made to be Broken”. My husband does not agree. Ha ha ha
LOL
Have always questioned things…….decades ago I wore comfy, athletic shoes rather than heels, made my potato salad with the skin on (nutrition is in the skin it says) am almost 70 and have long hair, wear whatever clothes I want with no regard to dressing “my age” and have always questioned who says so? Love your outfit, especially the very dark blue blouse. As for food, I try to eat healthy most of the time but if I want a piece of carrot cake, a little bowl of ice cream, and such it is enjoyed. It is easier to stay healthy this way than following some rules and feeling deprived. Looking forward to reading the article you mention.
Yes I have been enjoying small scoops of ice cream!
I’m not an advocate of ‘thinness’ but am troubled by the rising level of obesity in our culture. Have read that about 40% of our population is obese. We do need to fight against this alarming trend.
Yes it is about being healthy and what is the right way for your body to achieve that state.
I’m breaking the “mom rules”. I’m doing what works best for my almost adult son and it’s been liberating. Mostly I stopped doing things for him and hovering over every single choice he makes. He will figure things out on his own and I will feel better for it.
Good for you! At times I still hover a bit and my daughters 35!
Made me think! Not just about “diet rules”, but beliefs and rules that I have been following when it comes to relationships.
Kudos! Thank you, many times are sicknesses are due to not paying attention to our bodies. When we are kids we listen to that little inner voice, as adults our inner voice becomes society…WRONG! I agree when we make decisions always make sure we know the source our minds are referring to. As we get older, I pray we retrieve back to our little inner voice.
I resonated with this so much.
Beautifully, thoughtfully said. Thank you
At 65 I now say “the heck with all of it”. I am so sick of tv, news, commercials, so called experts who tell us everything we do or say is wrong, being made to feel stupid because I am not tech savy. The list goes on. Sigh. I almost feel like I have to isolate myself so I don’t have to encounter these things. And hanging out with people my age is not all that great. Too much talk of illness. I love being with younger people my kids and grandchildren. They keep me feeling younger and that there is hope in the world.
My thing too: hanging around with those younger than me.
Love this article!
This is an eye opener! I’ll have to think about it. In my youth I was a rebel, but marrying, having kids, my job made me follow the rules, fit in the box.
Your question is just the trigger I needed to explore my old self again. Thank you!
Looking forward to hearing what you find!
Love your articles, bold style choices, and your confidence, but this article is especially interesting as I, too, have always been a rule breaker and non-conformist who questions everything. This has frequently gotten me into some “hot water” or I’ve been “lectured, judged, criticized, reprimanded and punished” for asking too many questions; not being the pearl necklace wearing “perfect” controlled spouse of a military officer who is arm candy to only “be seen and not heard,” the “perfect” Museum employee, the “perfect” Mother, and on and on. For years, I had to conceal the authentic, free spirited, fashion and art loving me and wear too many masks to please others. Honestly, other people’s opinions of me, including those of certain close family members, do not matter now! My own adult daughter has told me to “tone it down” regarding my style choices and to that I say NO WAY! This is MY time to live, express my creativity and dress however I please, not adhering to someone else’s ridiculous and non-sensical rules that I had no part of creating.
Today’s article is SO true…my intuitive and intelligent female Naturopathic gynecologist, Dr. Kyle Ann Cronin, told me for over 10 years throughout my 50s to “listen to to your body…it KNOWS what it needs!” She also taught me about muscle testing as your body will accept or reject certain foods depending on its “unique and individual” internal needs. In addition, her advice was to keep a daily food and health journal that is a written record of what I consume, how I feel, how I sleep, exercise, my bowel movements and even the weather and air quality. Keeping a health journal has been my “saving grace” as I can go back and check on my health 3 or more days prior if I wake up feeling “under the weather” or my allergies increase, and diagnose MYSELF, (instead of immediately running off to a doctor), to see if was caused by something I ate or drank, the weather conditions, etc. It might sound tedious at first, but once you get in the habit of journaling, it becomes a part of your daily routine and conscious mindfulness.
The Latin meaning of the word “Doctor” (verb: docere) means “to teach.” That’s what a great doctor should do…teach not dictate!
In 2004 at the age of 70, my Mom had emergency surgery for colon cancer and I was the sibling who would care for her following the surgery. After my Dad had passed in 2001, she basically stopped cooking for herself and all she ate was frozen, microwaveable foods labeled as “healthy.” I disposed of all those frozen foods,, including the diet sodas she consumed, and my brothers and sisters labeled me the “food Nazi!” I had to “re-teach” my little Mom to cook and make “real” healthy food choices not faux ones! She has been cancer free for years and just turned 86! It IS about the food, folks! Don’t be sucked in by labels and advertising. Also, check the ingredients…if it’s something you cannot pronounce, do not put it in your body! You can find so much information on the internet! It’s not difficult!
If I had listened to the male doctors at my HMO years ago, I’m not sure that I would not even be here today or I’d be like my 86 year old Mother…flat broke and on 8-10 prescription meds for all the “popularly” diagnosed health problems including diabetes, high blood pressure and depression. I chose to seek healthcare “outside”of the HMO health network “system” that our employer’s insurance forced upon us, and opted for Naturopathic care that included herbs, acupuncture, teas, prescribed exercise and yoga. That was almost 20 years ago and I am now in my early 60s; happier and healthier than when I was in my late 40s, and NOT on any prescription meds! Questioning authority, Western medical doctors and bucking the established health care system was well worth it! The health care choice IS yours to make!
I send blessings to many of you ladies who commented here and have battled cancer and other illnesses. My advice…ALWAYS ASK QUESTIONS, do not be a doormat, and follow the internal guidance of your Heart! ??
Very good advice: question everything!
Great insights. As a dieter all my life, following every diet on this planet, I have grown to realize that food is to be enjoyed and celebrated. Our thoughts alone on food can contribute to the sense of well being. Food is part of our daily existence. I do agree that your body has the inner wisdom of what is good and nourishing and we should honor that. There are times where we need to celebrate, having just turned 63, I had several goodies that were part of my birthday experience.
The key is balance, don’t deprive yourself, listen to your body, eat quality foods that nourish and do eat a treat here and there. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Inner guidance and your intuition will guide you if you pay attention and listen.
Wonderful words of wisdom and experience.
Great food for thought! One rule that our culture subscribes to is the timing of dinner. As early as grade school I remember rushing in from school, starved for that afternoon snack, actually I was hungry enough for dinner. I still find that true. My body is naturally craving nutrition around four o-clock. I’d love to dine at 4:00 and finish the evening with a light snack and off to bed…….. But the working world doesn’t fit that time constraint.
Another good rule to break!
I get what you are saying, for sure. We each must find the way to our “healthy” relationship with eating, and the interplay between our food consumption and health. It’s very individual! And, it changes as we age. As a young woman I was naturally thin. Bearing two children changed that some, which was so fine. What didn’t seem fine was later, when I packed on extra pounds due to stress eating (related to work!) I decided to make better choices when I turned 50 a dozen years ago. I was really happy to stop schlepping an extra 30 pounds around. Those pounds literally felt like emotional baggage! Now I can eat with enjoyment and a good sense of caring for myself. There is joy and health in the food!
Yes no more either/ors!
This is good food for thought. In many ways, I am a rule follower, but when I’m not, I’m not. I’d say in the last 8 or 9 years of my work life, I felt empowered to express myself more. I worked for the government for 40 years. I was used to red tape and bureaucracy. I always felt my creativity was thwarted until I decided to use it in ways I could within the boundaries of my job, in particular, writing. I hadn’t always enjoyed this level of freedom really, until I made the decision to stop coloring my hair. It probably sounds like a stretch to tie in “going grey” with freedom within my job, but understand that when I was hired, in 1978, I was literally shunned and derided because I’d entered into what was always considered a “man’s job.” Men loved me for the wrong reasons and hated me for them too. It was a tough time. A “Me Too” time. As I began to advance in my career, I was often treated like a “bimbo” and any promotions I received were met with skepticism that I had “slept my way” into them. When I went grey however, it was almost like a fairy godmother had imbued me with a sudden degree of venerability, wisdom and authority. It was a strange but palpable feeling. Suddenly the way people treated me was entirely different. I began to really feel comfortable in my own skin, finally. While every visit to a salon or drugstore was telling me I should “hide that grey”, I was unknowingly busting the myth that I needed to remain young looking to be viable in the work world. I thought somehow it would vanish simply having my natural grey hair color. I guess I never knew that by doing that, my life would change so positively and that I would garner respect in my profession I had never enjoyed before by breaking that little rule imposed by a youth-obsessed society.
A very interesting story; full of details about how social norms change throughout the course of our lives. Thanks for sharing it.
I take inspiration from how you dress & how you seem to enjoy life, regardless of whatever age. My dear dad was like this.
I spent a decade dressing from the racks of Goodwill, as a single mother, a hardworking/commuting secretary. I’m pretty proud, as I think I did this well…receiving many compliments & shocking people when I’d reply “thanks! A Goodwill find!”. I’m back to retail now…mostly Target & Stitch Fix, rather than Nordstrom. 😉 What I’m finding challenging is how my body changed after 50. It’s like someone threw a switch & suddenly I cringe when I see my legs in photos…when my blunt son tells me shorts aren’t my best look anymore…when my tummy makes me look like I’m perpetually 4 months pregnant…when my sleeves are tight around my arms, for the first time in my life…And what happened to my neck & chin? I’m now pleasantly surprised when a photo of me turns out flattering. Oh well…it’s only our appearance, right? And yet…so much of how we feel about ourselves is wrapped up in feeling we look our best & we show the world we care enough to try to look our best. So, I try. I wear sandals & heels now, to show off feet I still like. 😉 A wonderful thing about being over 50, I’ve discovered, is I do what I want a lot more. I’m 5’8″. I’ve worn flats almost all my life. Now, I wear heels as often as I want. Along with hats…& scarves worn like my mother wore them in the 1940s…because it makes me happy. I wear the big cocktail ring too, to show off hands I still like 😉 & the leopard bangle…& yes, white jeans whenever I feel like it. I dress more for myself & how I feel now. Same goes for food. A friend told me several years ago, there was a study that showed when we eat lemon pudding our grandmother made for us in her warm cozy kitchen, it nourishes our body as much if not more than a kale salad we eat at our desk, while scanning our inbox. Is it any wonder? It didn’t take a study for me to know this, intuitively. It does our heart good.
The wonderful thing about clothes is that you can change them to adapt to your changing body. I’ve discovered many things I thought I would never wear since my body has changed.
Recently read there had been a study showing those who didn’t follow a rigid restricted “healthy” diet were just as healthy as those who did. Life would be boring without the pleasure of good barbecue & Tex Mex.
Well said! I enjoyed some BBQ on a recent visit to St. Louis.
Unseen by me for decades was my private rule to ‘accomodate irrational authority figures’. Bipolar Dad. Not a diet issue at all and still catches me by surprise sometimes at age 64 When there should be no one with any authority over me on the whole planet.
Good you see it now so we can enjoy these wonderful years!
OMG you are been proved that you are just 18! Awesome, you stand as an inspiration!
So much in love with this navy blouse styled with washed jeans. So cool wooden hoop earrings and clutch bag. Where did you get those rounded sunglasses?
XOXO,
LadyFashioniser
http://ladyfashioniser.com/
Kaleous Eyehunters is the brand.
Interesting to think about all the rules I have lived by. Lots of old wives tales come to mind. When I didn’t like eating bread crust my mother told me it would make my hair curly. My favorite though is when my grandmother told us not to feed the dog bread because it would give her worms. Now those are just silly examples of rules but nonetheless it makes me wonder how my choices and behavior are controlled by rules I’ve been taught by my family, teachers, and society in general. Additionally, it gets me thinking about how I often bristle and rebel against the rules just because they are “the rules” , not really considering the outcome.
Who said older women can’t wear sparkly eye shadow because it makes you look older? I don’t think think so !
Making our own rules using judgment and ethics is the way to go, don’t you think?
So much of what I do is based on sense, my own sensibility, what brings me intuitive comfort. This insulates me from diktats and creates purposeful, more peaceful days.
I admit I need to lose 10 kilos, I’m 73. My new doctor a svelte 40 something sent me for a blood test. She told me I ‘have the blood of a young girl’ I said why am I overweight then. She said you have a heaithy diet, just too much of it.