I love clever designers, those who can keep secrets that you’ll discover later. Designers who don’t make me think about clothes as if they’re just something else to consume. Designers who when I look at their garments make me feel like I just walked into an art supply store filled with tools of expression like glorious fat tubes of paint or colored markers with brushes instead of a point.
I acquired this jacket at a Paul Smith sample sale. First, let me be clear; I didn’t go for the women’s clothes. I accompanied Calvin who has a collection of Paul Smith clothes because he claims no other designer knows how to make clothes that fit him. He wears them when he wants to connect with his Hong Kong grandparent’s bankster DNA and when I drag him to some of the events I attend. Most other times you’ll find him in t-shirts, Patagonia knickers, and Vans. I have appropriated some of the Paul Smith shirts he’s bought as I love the prints, the cleverly hidden details and trims that jump out and surprise you. The attention to tailoring also makes it easy for women to wear them.
I’ve been feeling very drawn to menswear this fall or maybe it’s reading Fran Lebowitz as I’ve been exploring my city through a lens rather than rushing through my day. I see the irony, humor, optimism, and grit that characterize this urban landscape that may otherwise just blend into the blur of all things digital. Sort of what happened to my life. I’ve been critically thinking about the times we’re living in. I’ve been writing about it.
I’ve also been feeling more aggressive.
I’m annoyed about how the press keeps lumping me and other women into articles that are restricted to over 50 Instagrammers (or even worse insta-grammas) and fashion bloggers simply because we all have grey hair or share a chronological age. This is the only way I am ever written about anymore. I feel erased as an individual; not empowered. I’m not the same as the women who appear in these features with me, nor are they me. I might have more in common with some 20 or 30 something Instagrammers who show content that conveys they are intellectuals, love photography, culture, and literature. Someone like Baddie Winkie may feel more at home with Miley Cyrus or other Coachella goers. Linda Rodin might reveal she prefers the company of fellow dog owners. You get my point here and there’s no judgment, it’s about honoring difference.
Everything else about me except for my age is now deemed unimportant or insignificant. In the guise of addressing ageism my multiple social positions, achievements, history, and uniqueness are discounted leaving me feeling ever more invisible. Putting people into “uniforms” strips their identity away and as I have found in my long career in social welfare, it makes it easier to neglect and do bad things to them. This is fetishizing age; not admiring it. When I first began this project 5 years ago it’s power was to make someone like me be seen. It was to allow others to feel seen. I was not part of a pack, I was just me; an individual who had style was a professor and loved fashion. My age was rarely if at all mentioned in those early years. And that in itself was what began to make the change. I was seen as a whole person who happened to be interesting and stylish and not just as someone who is old who (surprise, surprise) happens to be on Instagram.
Though I have a chronological age, I also have what researchers call a “perceived” age, the age or ages you experience yourself inside. For me this is very fluid; a song can make me feel 25 and back in a disco. The smell of patchouli incense can make me feel 16 covering up cigarette smoke, while a small infant snuggling against their mom takes me to 30. Walking into a library takes me back to 40 and getting my Ph.D. I want to be represented in ways that can accommodate all of who I am. I want choices about clothes that can help me convey those many ages and selves as well as different aspects of who I am.
So this loops us back to my jacket. Paul Smith as a designer can surprise me endlessly with how he uses color, prints but more so where he decides to place them. The turn of a white cuff might find a fuchsia and orange print on the underside. Though this jacket looks very somber and muted with earth tones on the outside, when opened it startles with brightly colored floating feathers and purple silk trim. It’s like popping a party favor and having brightly colored confetti fly all around you. I feel like yelping with delight when I reveal this secret, perhaps the optimistic, giddy part of me that lies underneath the serious and somber professor who’s still deconstructing tired old narratives. Clothing like this can carry many parts of you in it, including optimism and secrets. Unlike articles or garments that make unilateral decisions about who you are.
I can’t wait to hear what you all think about this one!
I live and love your Spirit ❤️ I am an LMFT in California and prior NY’er who eats, breathes and sleeps fashion. I love to express my artist creativity through fashion and keep youthful as I age. Let’s us continue to roar with our authentic selves without speaking a word. I love your style and your spoken and unspoken voice.
We are an accumulation of all our experiences and a number simply cannot capture the beauty, depth nor challenge in each of those.
Refreshing. loved this.
I agree that we are not our age. At 65 I can relate better to younger people than when I was 25. Perhaps it’s the maternal instinct. So many kids are untethered these days so we who’ve been around the block a few times have to throw them a life line. And that includes giving them fashion advice. Lately I’ve counseled several young women to stop hating their bodies (yes women still do that), to embrace the shape God gave them and to find styles that exploit their finest attributes rather than trying to look like the model de jour. If a girl has generous hips but a tiny waist then by all means wear those adorable cinch-waisted dresses and show it off. If everyone is wearing taupe but periwinkle brings out your eyes then show off your best assets and strut your stuff! These are lessons we older broads have figured out the hard way and must share with our younger sisters. ?
I like your Words and the way you are discussing about age and the future.
I Think here in Sweden we are too much thinking about our age.?
I think this Paul Smith jacket is indicative of who you are. Quite possibly appearing drab on the outside, in light of perceived age and prejudice. But vibrant and brilliant on the inside. It’s the quintessential beauty of who you are at your stage of life. Older is bolder on many levels. I salute you!
That is a great jacket find, both classic and spontaneously flashy at same time. You brought up a good point about ageism attitude towards women as we age chronologically which is merely a number in time. We don’t stop existing simply because of a number. Problem is that this ignoring is based on a popular “theory “ of youthism. We all at one point in time have meet with someone who finds things that we have already dealt with and turns around to make it the “new” popular item. The only way to deal objectively with being ignored, especially us women is to continue to keep positive attitude of ourselves and don’t be kept back by negativity.
You rock! I am 73 and feel that invisible thing always. It is annoying because I neither dress nor act that mythical “elderly” way. At least I’m not the only one…. Carry on for us all!
The ability to actually have a secret, and to let it reveal itself to the right person at the right time, is something we’ve lost as a culture. I’ve been living in Europe for the last two years (business) and the ability to have a secret, a private self, a bit of colour that not everyone can see at first glance, still holds, at least sometimes. I would guess that as one becomes a public figure both the public and secret are thrust upon you.
yes indeed, thrust is the operative word and I have always rebelled against anything thrust upon me including the beets my mother tried to make me eat!
The beets are a loss, but I applaud the effort to keep a bit of yourself your own.
Another great insightful discussion you have started! I love hidden surprises in books, movies, and fashion. I was absolutely in love with the jacket you are wearing because of the inside secret. I also have issues with ageism. Maybe it’s because I am older and still believe I have relevance — especially as I follow people of all ages. You are correct when you write that we are all unique and not just a number. Thank you!!
Very insightful and thought provoking. I really like your attitude. I look forward to all your posts.
LOVE IT!!! THE JACKET & LINING SUNNIES HOOPS JEANS TOP
xoxo Caroline
Favourite blog so far!! What a beautiful way you have with words. Feel like I understand you a little better. Loved it! Oh yes, just as important, love your jacket!!
I love this. As I transition into the age of gray hair, I notice the invisibility. I am fighting against it with all I’ve got but it’s a journey that I am just learning to travel. Totally relate to the perceived age feelings. Now, to learn to dance that disco when the song comes on.
I have recently started following your blog – I thank you for your informed lens and the position you articulate so well.
In this post, I especially appreciated your 5th and 6th paragraphs – you nailed the experience of being a North American female of 50+ so well. Although, like you I am white (or rather, ‘beige’, as I like to call it…), so I am sure there are intersectionalities that I am free from experiencing.
Your gifted voice makes me hopeful that the work of deconstructing ageism, and indeed all -isms, is not in vain.
I love reading your words. I so admire your wisdom, your desire (rage!?!) to fight the -isms that any of us older than 60 confront too often. When I get lost in your writing, I see you on the streets of NYC, sauntering down an avenue, taking it all in and challenging yourself to see it all with fresh eyes. It’s empowering. I’m 62, 6 feet tall, a weight lifter and am frequently admonished to take it easy (at this advancing age…). I’m not the norm, what the hell ever that is. And sometimes it’s the figurative muscle that makes me wickedly smile to myself and sometimes it’s the realization that I’m not the well-dressed, stylish woman who exudes interest and confidence (like you do!). Anyway, keep ’em coming. I like the juxtaposition of taking in your musings then seeing what they bring up in me.
I’ve always loved clothing that has that special little detail that I’ve always called “A private party.”
GREAT jacket! Life is so much better with surprises!
Completely agree with you about the “Invisibility Cloak” that descends, utterly unsolicited, upon women once the grey materializes, as if our worth exists only in our capacity to guarantee sex Pole dancers would be capable of.
Any intelligence is viewed with suspicion, any curiosity regarded as tiresome. Elegance is viewed as a mark of the despised wealthier elites, while any vibrant or creative use of colour, garb & accessories is regarded as eccentricity or a pitiful effort to be “artistic”. I’m caught between the devil & the deep….
Very grateful to have found a kindred spirit implicit in your thoughts & observations.
You have nailed it! Regardless of the age, our lives are more than a chronological number.
One dimensionality does fit any of us, especially as we gain more life experience through living longer-aging! Thank you for writing about that. There are times now (getting ready to turn 65) when I feel more powerful than ever in the past. On the other hand, certainly days when I feel it’s completely ridiculous that I will be 65 soon and constantly field calls, email and social media intrusion where that is all I am considered. Thank you for writing and connecting small details of brilliant design to the greater dimensionality of all of us.
Thank you for this commentary on ageism. I share your feelings completely about prompts that make my age vary as well as the societal response to a woman of a certain age.
“Age” is an interesting concept. Yes, there is the universal chronological age, a fact that is hard to deny but after that, age is defined by whatever context is wrapped around you at any given moment. I can be 6, 16 and 66 all in one day or in one hour for that matter.
I work hard to remember that my internal perceptions of me at any point in time are usually vastly different than that of others. Often I ask people how they see me, just to understand this notion.
My internal perceptions, I may control or think I do but, I definitely do not control the perceptions of others. On a given day, two friends may have very different views on what I represent to them. As much as I like to think I have some control over the context in which I am seen…I do not.
Whatever delights me concerning who I am and how old I am, is what I try to keep at the forefront of my mind. That’s where it should be.
Dear Lyn,
Yes yes so true. I can relate to the statement: “This is fetishizing age; not admiring it.”
However, I think this is same shit different day. Anyone under 50 doesn’t like to think about it. The age is compartmentalized – until you get there. You are making a difference. As more of us represent this difference, the perception will change.
You are timeless and so am I…my age will change on Oct 14th…but inside I am 19 once again and sitting in Paris on the Champs Elysee with my young Irish lover who ordered red wine brilliantly.
Love this discussion- I’m in my fifties now and when I look back I see my style has not changed that much from my teens and early twenties. I love that. We are who we are! For me clothing is an intrinsic part of my identity. Age is in your mind (and sometimes in your knees – lol) the important thing is to feel in your skin and to feel valid and powerful – not to be “dressing your age” – That has no meaning in real life. Carry on – thanks for the inspiration and reminder to keep rejecting what is expected.
Hi, thank you for this true post! I chose to ignore some of the stupidity about age and simply work against it in whatever ways I am capable. I went back to college when I was 50 – well old enough to be everyone’s mom and older than many of my profs. – received a doctorate and opened my own business.
I just keep doing what I am best at, being alive and making a difference, and hope it changes the way we see everyone regardless of age, race, background, etc.
Thank you!
WELL said. The erasing of women as we age is counterproductive to an inclusive society, demeaning to the recipient, and sadly pervasive in American culture. It is the only form of bigotry and “ism” that enacts prejudice by the bigoted upon their future selves. Older women are depicted as “looking good for their age”, a mom-ish saintly type, non-sexual, a nuisance (why are you still working/in my field of vision/demanding respect), or invisible. SO many of us are still very interested in fashion, alternative music, up-and-coming writers and artists, vibrantly best friends with our young adult kids, have friends of all ages, chameleons of style and genre dependent upon what resonates with us on a particular day–as you so well described in your post–and draw upon the rich tapestry of fashion eras that we have experienced as we achieve our current age and stage in life. Being put into a box of “please objectify me by my age” pisses me off. From young saleswomen who look right through me to male colleagues who no longer look me in the eye to our I.T guy who thinks I don’t understand technology when my generation INVENTED it. If I sound ticked, hell yah. Ageism is not cool, and hey world, we don’t like being generalized anymore than any other generation or individual does. We are all like your jacket: at first glance, one thing you think you know, but look deeper and bam, full of individualized color and message and inspiration. Thank you for an AWESOME post.
WOW. THE ONLY FORM OF BIGOTRY AND ISM THAT ENACTS BIGOTRY ON THEIR FUTURE SELVES. NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS FOR DAYS.
BRAVO!
You are satisfyingly articulate, poetic, inspiring and age neutral in so many respects.
Your thinking and writing cut 90% of the way to the core.
Perhaps our very human penchant for “categorizing as coping mechanism” remains formidable but ultimately forgivable on the fashion playing field?
I was struck by the subtlety of the sensations of the person who was “pushed aside” for 50. We all try to look forward. However, one who thinks that his perspective is wider due to his youth is devoid of a sense of time. After all, every few moments of his being is born one whose perspective is even wider. Age is just a matter of distance, and one who looks in retrospect owns thousands of years of beauty created by human genius.
What a wonderful view and one that we should all be reminded of often. I hate it when magazines show “what to wear when you’re 40/50/60″…. BORING. As if age has anything to do with style. Keep doing what you’re doing – I think you’re an Inspirational Icon!! xoxo
Lyn, I couldn’t agree more. What is the need for lumping people in categories as if age or any one piece of their identity means they share common characteristics and outlook? It feels like laziness on the part of the lumpers. What I admire about you is your uniqueness in outlook, style, and all the experiences that add up to your life. It’s that uniqueness that inspires digging for it in my own life narrative. Keep on doing you.
Thank you for expressing in words what I (and no doubt other women “of a certain age”) am experiencing both externally (ageism and invisibility) and internally (comprising many lovely selves). It is such a privilege to be healthy and personally relevant at 65 years old, but increasingly aggravating to be patronized by those who are younger. And also, those colors! Hidden color and pattern make my artistic soul sing. Thank you for sharing such delightful garments.
They probably feel patronized by us when we tell them what to do LOL
yup…turned 65 today…you tell it all in a couple of paragraphs…
Regarding digs and categorizing due to age – I say ignore them!
What do they know? What age group are they? Do they really think they are the only ones??? Really??
Remember when we thought we ruled the world and no one outside our age group had any validity? Such an innocent youthful narrow viewpoint. One can only laugh, shake ones head with tender compassion and just show them how wrong they are!
Yes, its about education. As I said before I think these press folk are really believing they are addressing ageism by including us at all. Time for some critical and deeper thinking here.
Love it! You look so fabulous in it.
I’m 68 years old; in my head and heart, I’m still a 25 year old hippie girl.
I bop around to oldies…rock and roll…blues, etc..
I’ve had so many health issues over the last few years, it’s a daily struggle…but, smells, etc.,…any kind of nostalgic, sensory stuff, fills my heart with joy.
Thanks for sharing…
The years just kind of crept up, right?
Ugh…I just wanna erase some of ’em , but I can’t.
Love this! You inspire me to keep trying to go beyond my old “lady professor”. I think I am making progress! Thanks!
I was in a conference last week and we were asked to come up with a low-cost promotional effort to promote a theatre group — all hypothetical. The fake theater’s audience was primarily retirees. A woman in our breakout group (grey hair, would guess in early 60’s) immediately eliminated the idea of using Instagram because the audience was primarily retirees. I responded (a little too forcefully) saying that Instagram was all over and all ages were using it. I felt defensive and protective of my age in that group and was disappointed with her that she eliminated a giant group based on age. I’m with you and would love to send you a shirt from my sister’s made in usa shirt company, Jill McGowan, Inc. Check us out on @jillmcgowaninc
What a great example!
You’re awesome! Jen from Florida 55 Yrs Young! 🙂
Double nickels— can be a very lucky year!!! Off-topic, but I loved 55! Oddly, one of my most visible years!
Absolutely there’s lots of love to be found in good clothes
Wow! Well said, and this is why I love you – you are so much more than an an age.
Very interesting article, the jacket your wearing is just fantastic, I love Paul Smith there are always some beautiful details in his clothes to explore!
My age is not important for me anymore, it’s the way who I live and who I am and I don’t care what other people think about me!
Fashion is for me a way to express myself in clothes who gives me a good feeling!
Clothes like that are very hard to find but I hope to find some anyway. And yes, the current desperate need to divide people into tidy groups one can ignore is horrible. We deserve better.
I love this jacket! It’s pop of color and design are classic, I think! Your style crosses any and all ages…limitless! Thank you for forging a path for some of us “60-ish plus” fashionistas! I now wear what’s comfortable and what I like! I’m more aware of what I do “favor” and go with it! A BIG THANK YOU for setting a great example for me to follow! You rock! By the way, I “do” Instagram also!
Love the jacket!!!
Fabulous! You AND the jacket!!
Your comments are spot on. So infuriating how one is labeled by their birth numbers when in essence may feel quite a bit younger. Fight the conception all the time.
Your delight is, as always, delightful and your annoyance shared. We continue to express who we are in all our glorious colours and we celebrate with you. I love your words.
I just adore what you’re doing here. All of it, not just the clothing, although you help me look at my wardrobe, be a piece from Nordstrom or Target, in different ways.
Thank you for reminding me that my fluid age is okay.
I am happy to be the age I am but furious when it is perceived as a limit. I got over the invisibility thing in my fourties and found it freed me to express myself as myself, not through a lens of attractiveness that was socially established. Now, as a visual artist, I enjoy the kind of freedom of expression that comes with freedom of self perception.
At a marvellous Maiwa event titled “the Future of Making” in Vancouver, women of all ages were dressed in beautiful forms, textiles and colours that breathed life. One woman, sitting back, dressed in indigo and silver had a powerful serene queen energy that I was attracted to. I met her eye, we smiled. Then noticed that her strong hands and forearms were blue. An Indigo queen. Yas.
Love surprise linings. My black leather jacket has a colourful lining. Yes just turned 65 and feeling invisible. Back from getting 1 of 2 shingles shots ?
So well written…especially the part about how you are an individual with style.
I agree with you about the over 50’s thing. I live in a coastal town north of Sydney in Australia and as such is a popular retirement place for Sydneysiders and others. I feel “in the middle” as a 64 year old. I am seen as a “senior” automatically getting discounts into cinemas etc ( which is great BUT ) Just because I have retired does not mean I am OLD !!
My hair isn’t even very grey – just around my temples and I regularly have highlights to lift the Mousey colour. I keep fit with a walking group three times a week – like minded ladies who are determined to keep young and fit, while enjoying coffee afterwards, breakfasts and lunches. I love fashion and keeping up to date with it, having a family of women always looking chic and with a passion for shoes, which has carried through to my gay son who must have one of the biggest collection of amazing sneakers.
Even my grown up kids ask me what I did today – which sometimes makes me guilty if I have just relaxed reading a book. I just want to be myself and not be put into a box I am nowhere nearly ready to enter!
I love to read what you write! It always seems to represent a part of me. I often find myself wondering if we shouldn’t take what I consider, the best part of the far eastern culture that celebrates and honors age. It’s been almost 50 years ago I lived a few years in Tokyo, Japan. The “grammie” dressed as nicely as the younger women. However it seems that no one celebrates fashion like the young unless i am me or you. A few days ago my Grandaughter told me she wanted some jeans like mine…,stylishly torn, tight, long frayed zig zag edges at bottom edge. I was delighted once again that I am “still in touch”.
You also have given me confidence to wear whatever I love in it’s latest iteration!
Our experience is so valuable! The “window dressing” is fun but ultimately just that. I thoroughly enjoy that fashion can mirror my inside emotions and even favorites. But I cherish what being 70 has brought me. It follows that I worked hard or suffered much or laughed often as is shown in the expression lines on my face.
I like the woman I am who often feels 16, 21, 30, 40 50 or 60 depending on my reality at the moment.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts❣️
Yes!
That jacket is FINE! I, too, hate being defined by my chronological age. What does that have to do with who I am? Age and experience, yes. Slow and tired, occasionally. Young minded, absolutely! Active, YES YES YES! When I listen to news stories that identify a person as “a 52 year old grandmother” what difference does that make? Was that pertinent to the story? Why identify her by her age like she’s incapable of handling herself or was a greater risk because of her age?
I will continue NOT to act my age. I will continue to find adventures and learn. I will continue my pursuit of happiness which is irrespective of my age. I’m 62 and proud of it, but it does not define me and I refuse to let that box me in!
Keep representing and showing us your fabulous sense of fashion. Sometimes I admit I do get in a rut, but you inspire me to color outside the lines with my style and my thinking. Thank you!
I think your style is amazing and shin thru any generation your truly one of a kind and there have not been many of those in my life time and I am 59 there won’t be any more trust me thank God for you
What a nice life of leisure you have darling. I am 72 and so happy with my body and my outlook on life. Keep trying. You need to more than most of us. Cheers!!!
Could you clarify what you mean? Don’t want to misread what you are trying to say here.
I love reading your blog! I too struggle with this ageism stuff and find myself trying to get ahead of it in some manner. In doing that, I feel like I’m giving in and betraying who I simply am. I am becoming gray and some days I rejoice and others I feel decrepit…but I am still vital. As are you! Please continue to be you. Thanks!
Undeniably true! Fashion does not have anything to do with age! Please do not join the “pac” that believe it does!
I’m fascinated! Also, I am with you on the ageist thing as well, fuck that noise!
dear Icon at any age,
You pop to me! and inspire me. I’m 73 years old and still dye my hair brunette so that I won’t be “invisible.”
What do you think about thredUp, the used clothing website that will be selling its clothing in JCPenneys? I heard the founder explain that millennials value used clothing because it has a “history,
and is somewhat unique because it’s not something they buy off the rack that has been mass-produced. Millennials want to have a relationship with their clothes, to rescue something of value from the dump.
As a historian and historic preservationist, I do this with old buildings. I’m thrilled that people are doing this with clothing, salvage items from demolitions, old furniture, etc. Is this hinting at a tectonic shift in the fashion industry? Didn’t you blog about having your old clothing demolished and put back together in different ways? BRAVO!
Well said – I’m 54, and inside I’m 14, 23, 30, 42 – music, smells, memories all wrapped up in one person. I will not succumb to the middle aged haircut – I won’t wear an age uniform – I’ll make my own style thank you!.
As a sewist and artwear designer I have always loved a surprise I side of a garment. My children’s garments always have a surprise hidden inside, the little ones love to search for it. Adult garments have luxurious linings with personalized embroidery or screen printing. This seed may have been planted when my mother showed me that the interior of her fur coat was personalized with her name and embroidered roses. The interior of that garment was always more fascinating than its exterior. The lining is what is closest to you, it should reflect something personal about you. Thank you for your observations,comments, and safe counsel. Gratefully, Susan
I am beginning to understand ageism more and more as I advance in age. When these younger people get older they too will understand and will not want to be described as a certain age either. I am 56 and my man is 70. We are over the moon in love. Our emotions, actions, intellect defy age. He is ageless to me. Sometimes as we embrace I have a definite feeling that he is encompassing many ages at once. I feel him as a 20 something sometimes. It is an amazing experience. I love him as a whole lifespan of being, doing, learning. Life is precious and we are who we are. As long as we have zest for life then age cannot define us.
I enjoy your blog very much. We are who are and we shall not be defined by some preconceived idea about age.
Wow I’m falling in love too just reading your words! Nothing like a good story to convey a truth.
Wow, yes, tell it like it is! You are an inspiration.
I am turning 65 this year, and can totally relate. I had someone say to me one time “that all professional government assassins should be women over the age of 60, because we are usually totally ignored, and no one would even notice us coming in and out”. By the way, I love your jacket, it’s the little extra things that make something so special. You are a great inspiration, keep the articles coming.
So sorry that spell check shanghied my message. Thank you for SAGE counsel,
This comment may only be tangentially relevant, but I feel compelled to share. I have discovered the Chinese Shuffle Dance videos on YouTube and I am inspired! I need to get into and stay in shape now more than ever as I am north of 60, and this style of dance looks like so much FUN! I do find myself, however, worrying about looking silly trying to do this and similar dances ‘at my age’. I plan to forge ahead anyway, and for now at least, restrict myself to the privacy of my basement as I get my shuffle on. I have lost 25 pounds since the beginning of this year and have already started sprucing up my personal style, that I had neglected since I left my husband of 29 years 12 years ago. I keep reading that women at my age are freer because they ‘don’t care what people think’ any more. I am still working on that, obviously. I thank you Lyn, for providing such a grand example for us all!
I absolutely love what you wrote today, first about Paul Smith and how you acquired the jacket. Yesterday I nabbed a pair of my boyfriends jeans while cleaning out our closet – hence the “boyfriend “ jean. I love having fluidity between men and women’s fashion, but still having separate space for both.
Your experience regarding chronological age versus how we feel at any given moment! At times I’m as guilty as the next person about lumping myself into my age category, yet delight in appreciating the life I have lived and truly experience now with confidence and smarts – in so many aspects of my life. I get it though, we’re not our mothers in their 60’s, although mine was pretty groovy, but we can still get pigeon holed. Kind of like teenagers, whom I love. We’re teens on the other end!
The first element that sparks my enjoyment is how interesting would be a monthly publication embraced by your mindful management. A beautiful marriage between fashion and the cerebral, as opposed to fashion and the trending, the popular, to bowing to all things all things…and that wasn’t an accidental doubling. The beautiful aspect of your writing is it is all inclusive without columns and sections and nonsense. Secondly, I noticed the luex sweater. Thirdly, well, my dear, the world loves a label, a category, a neat place for repository, makes things easy, less messy. What’s the world to do with an older woman, unique in philosophy, a powerful voice for many, regardless of age, and a rebel? Can’t have that now, can we? In the resonant voice of the band Kansas, carry on my wayward daughter.
Noel
I love this. Stereotypical assumptions about any person, whether they’re 10 or 80, are just annoying. The worst is “oh you dress so trendy – for your age.” No. That just deletes the compliment. Your taste, style and outlook on life is inspiring to anyone.
Demographics have limited utility. I graduated from seminary to become a pastor — not a woman pastor. With a full head of white hair, I get things explained to me when it’s not necessary, I am told to watch my step on slightly uneven sidewalks…! Thanks for your frustration and your compelling expression of it!
I’m a 68 yr old from a small city in Alberta, Canada. Finding you on blogs and Instagram was a lovely revelation. I appreciate seeing my generation well represented, that said, in no way have I ever viewed you as lumped in with anyone. It’s true that your fantastic fashion sense drew my attention but that’s because, to me, it identifies you as someone who is truly her own person, interesting and worth following. You were and are a breath of fresh air. My recommendation is don’t worry about how you may feel portrayed by others, just carry on being yourself, and please keep posting.
Thank you for your kind words. I am not letting this impact me personally and it is not making me feel bad, it’s about something that’s not right and not fair. My entire prior life has been about addressing unfairness and i know life is not always fair, but sometimes you just have to call it out.
I’m 53. I feel like I’ve never seen the world more clearly. I also feel like a babooshka doll, with access to my earlier, younger versions of me whenever I feel playful, curious, excited, joyous. I feel like I’m discovering hidden emotional pockets all the time. Most of all I long to be in the truth of a moment. Even if there’s pain. It feels like it’s taken me a lifetime to get here but I finally feel like I can meet anyone of any age and just ‘meet’ them in their own life story and see them for whop they are. When I do fall into misreading them I can catch myself and really listen to what they are saying and really see them. I once bought a white short because the cuffs have a pretty floral print but no-one sees that when they are buttoned up. It makes me smile because of its hidden whimsy and playfulness. I like clothing that has masculine and feminine elements and Art. Thankyou for your honesty. xo
I LOVE the line, “meet them in their life story” That’s why stories remain the most powerful tool we have.
Bravo! Women of a certain age do not wear invisibility cloaks even if we are treated as if we do. I applaud you!
At first I must say as I passed age 70 I began to feel invisible and basically ignored when I am out shopping. As far as clothes I enjoy certain designers whose clothes speak to me and that I feel comfortable in. I do not care anymore about what someone else might think. I’m interested in what makes me feel good which in turn let’s me live each day just as I choose.
Also, I love your style but I’m afraid my life is a far cry from yours.
But one can always dream.
Bravo! Write on! I was born to be Me; why would I want to be Anyone else? Thank you!!
Putting people into “uniforms” strips their identity away – love how you pull the covers off this one. I have two friends who have set up over 50 women’s online groups for women only. I admire their passion and their ability to build community but until I read your blog post I didnt understand why they rub me up the wrong way, why I feel flat about them. Now I get it – the constraints of one dimensionality. Oh what joy to be dipping my glided spirit into the pot of multi dimensional humanness – what joy I get from the range of colours – whatsapping my 16 yrs old niece, daily email jokes from my 93 yr pal (RIP Phil), Facebook rants from my ex West Side story dancer friend, guardian to a 15 yr old and who is somewhere north of 70, texts from my 86 yr old mom and Instagram is like a pass to a club for 20 & 30 year olds. Most of the time I find it unbelievable to think I am 58 – only yesterday I was one of the a computer programmer when no one had computers to program
I so agree. Friends from 24 to 96 sure give different and honest and up to date perspectives on my life.
Well “aint” this the truth. Love your menswear choice. Rock it, girl!
re: Rant. Say it, Sister.
BUT keep in mind that those whose opinions matter to you are not stopping with the fabulous hair. You have great clothes and shoes and flair. If someone can’t look beyond age…hey!…their loss.
Love it. Any little surprise, even special seams or buttons, can make a garment feel special and give you a boost in how you where it. As a 71 year old women with a long bob, funky glasses, and a variety of clothing styles, I also feel frustrated at being classified as an older woman. I have seen and enjoyed so many styles from palazzo pants to hot pants that all required a certain je ne sais quoi.
I just love your comment about perceived age. I am surrounded by people feeling because they are now a certain age they can retire. Retire? It’s all in the mind set.
I just love following you. You inspire me to carry on reaching for my goals.
I love what you said about age as a main feature by which we are recognized never mind what else we have to offer as individuals. This is definitely ageism and people don’t realize how prejudiced they are when they marvel at your age and how great that you are so old and still full of life. I hope I can be me without explaining why I am so old and still like fashion totally inappropriate for my age. PS. I’m 79 and I love designers surprises too, like crazy colors underneath a white cuff. With great admiration thank you for your blog and Instagrams photos! I adore your style!
I think we also have to take ownership of how we do the same to young people at times. I have had the pleasure of meeting so many young people who really get that we are unique and complex beings and that is precisely what they love about us. The best thing we can do is find out voice and tell people in a kind and loving way that they are mistaken about us and set the record straight. I truly believe these young digital journalists think they are addressing ageism by including us at all on platforms that were designed for people their age. That’s why it’s a matter for education.
Well said! I did not know a cloak of invisibility came with the grey hair until I was wearing it. I feel I have so much more to offer than I did 30 years ago. ThanK you for putting it into words.
Zowie, do I ever identify with your words, my iconic friend! At age 65, and having just *almost* retired, I enjoy wearing exactly what I want to wear. Sometimes a “young person” comments favorably on my attire, which is ok; but it’s really about my own reaction to myself! I really identify with all the ages I have ever been — so far. Thanks for speaking up!
Lynn, I first learned about your blog two years ago—enjoying it precisely because of your multifacetedness!
And, rant away! At 60, I can completely relate. I’ve considered expanding my Instagram presence through style/fashion, which I’ve always loved but even moreso over the last three years since experiencing a significant post-menopausal weight loss.
However, I’m reluctant for the very box (yep, singular!) the media wants to shove us into. (As it is, I’ve always defied easy categorization in real life as well as on social media! LOL) Such reporters and editors are even worse than fetishists. They’re peeping Toms/Thomasinas who want to see us from a “safe” distance. Actual interaction with us (in person or through articles/blogs) as more than the gray or graying caricatures they’re trying to make us to be terrifies them because it would force them to confront their own ageism. (Although the de-evolution of the late More magazine from its wonderful focus on women 40 and better to an all-ages pulp undifferentiated from Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, etc. seemed to be based primarily on shoring up the publication’s sagging sponsor/advertising base, I suspect seniorphobia [as More’s original target audience was moving into its 60s, 70s, and better] also played a significant role.)
All of it recalls the media’s exoticizing of women who are ethnic/cultural minorities back in the ’70s and the early ’80s (and still continues to a certain extent today) along with the eroticization of LGBTQ women in heterosexual male porn during the same timeframes.
Love that you provided us with the historical context. The good news is that age is something that finally must be reckoned with in fashion. The not so good is that we are now going through the processes you so eloquently describe. You gave me the idea to study how others respond. To me the best responses are artistic ones and so we loop back to creativity.
Your words are very true and I think many people (unfortunately mostly women ) feel this every day. Nice to see that I am not the only one who is discovering men’s clothing
That is one cool jacket – I took one of my husband’s older jackets & had it cut down to fit a bit better but nothing compares to that lining you have in that jacket!
LOVED what you said about AGE and being lumped together with women “OF A CERTAIN AGE”! Often I feel women my age are so OLD in the way they think and act – I love to be more open to listening to young people and their thoughts of change and how they maneuver in this world – somewhat different than the one we came of age in! I am a person who continues to learn everyday! I keep moving and this keeps one younger in both body mind and spirit!
You are a great example!
THANKS
I couldn’t agree more. Very well said! You are the bomb.?
You’re so fabulous. I’m 70, raised in Catholic school uniforms, my flare never developed. A version of the pre-war Vietnamese tunic and black pants are my go-to. And I cherish invisibility. I’m a watcher, the best audience, grabbing the back seat. I love the magnificence of artists like you.
Flare says it all!
Perfect!! Keep thinking, writing, inspiring and hitting the nail square on its head.
There is, absolutely, nothing insignificant about you..
I in fact know that lol, need to educate the media to that fact.
I so appreciate your authenticity. Consistently I’ve been searching through my garments to find combinations that allow me to reinvent myself. I feel pressure from my adult children to have a simple capsule wardrobe, and I’m enjoying playing with color and style which allows me to push those invisible boundaries from within the garments I’ve collected over the years. I’ve definitely watched age stratification become more pronounced through social media. I’m bothered most by lack of intergeneration living and the desire to put people in some sort of box, like an organizational chart. I really hope that we can get out of those boxes and realize that this life is really a dance and we will step on each others feet as we learn more about each other. Dancing is really much more fun that living within the limits of our perceived age.
This is beautifully written & speaks to my heart about the impact “threads” can have on me, too! Just an extra dimension/thrill in an otherwise exciting breath of life. Thank you for this!
When I first discovered you and your blog, I said, “ OMG, I finally found someone who gets it, who gets me!!” I want to be you when I grow up!! In fact, I was so inspired by you, I had my hair stylist cut my hair to be like yours. I LOVE your style, your attitude, your spirit, your philosophy and your look. I want to dress the way I want to…I want to be who I am…I want to look the way that makes me feel good and feel empowered…NOT what society dictates based on my chronological age. I want to say to people, “you think you know me…take a closer look!” Marilyn Monroe said, “ If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere.” I agree…
Take a closer look are the operative words!
Interesting thoughts, my first reaction is, the digital world is about catagorizing. Like a huge library, where does the book “fit”? In order to find you, or a book, we need a catagory. Your ideas and thoughts cannot be filed, because they’re fluid( more human, not digital). As a creative myself, I would start an alternative blog that superimposed other faces ( babies/ men/ animals/ any face) on my pics, to start a conversation. Many women writers had a nom de plume, because society, didn’t accept women writers… Sounds familiar, eh?
Yes exactly right, this is pushing back against the digital world’s propensity to do that, without some pushback humanity disappears.
Love Love Love ? your outlook on life & love hearing what you have to say- so inspiring & real. ???
Love this Lynn! I really resonate with the ageism, sometimes admittedly my own, and being a middle aged woman butting against invisibility. The perceived age is so very fluid for all of us. And the hidden details like a shocking lining are total delights, like a yummy private aside amidst a cocktail party.
I think you are spot on regarding ageism. I love your comments and thoughts on the subject.
I hear what your saying, but why is it bothering you so much is the question. Society/the media, cubbyholes everyone. Your best foil is to keep finding your joy and happiness in life… that is what makes you interesting and accidentally visible. Watch those thoughts.
I guess it bothers me because for better or worse and through no intent of my own I have become a public figure who is now associated with being older, who is told by young people I am changing how they think about being older and by older people that I am inspiring them to be who they really are and who they wish to be, In my view, I see this as a responsibility and puts me in a position of power and thus is also an educational project. I have seen in my career in social welfare that silence does not change the status quo, in fact it makes the powers that be think you like it. Silence reinforces. If I did not use my platform to speak honestly about all of my feelings I would not be doing anyone a service, least of all myself. It’s clear from the many comments here today that there are a great many people who do not wish to be only defined by their age and welcomed the opportunity to voice their frustration. I do follow your advice and that is the point of What Now? where can I re-find my joy?
Thku, I so agree with you. I’m not dead yet. I have so much I still want to accomplish/contribute but when they see my wrinkles and gray hair I’m ignored. I love fun clothes so very much but heaven forbid I should wear jeans with holes or dye my hair wild colors. Thku for understanding and giving me the freedom to just go do it!! Off to find me some jeans with holes, hehehe Debee
Totally agree about…well all of it really. I. too am an over…year old (what ever), but still feel I need to tell people I am a heavy metal/math core, jazz fan, a textile artist, maker of things, a gardener, a make-up-life-as-I-go along kind of person, as you say more akin to a twenty something. But finding the things I love to wear is more like a scavenger hunt than a shopping trip. Have you noticed how that even in Marks & Spencers the mens’ and boys’ (I am little) clothes are way better designed, made of superior cloth and have more class than the women’s? I find I spend more time in charity shops these days looking for items to chop up, rebuild and re-line. And I don’t look like a jumble sale or a vintage granny, more Chrissie Hind, Annie Lennox or your good self I hope!
Exactly how I feel. I’m a newbie to this aging thing. At 58 I am looking at the world in a different way. To add to your many articulate and thoughtful words on this topic. I think about when I was young and how I saw my now age group as old with old fashion thinking and now that I’m here I don’t see myself that way at all. I don’t want to live in the background helping others, giving advice that is out of date, being support crew and accepting less because it is what older women are expected to do. It’s up to us to challenge the status quo about what older women are supposed to be like. At this stage of my life I don’t need to be so family and man focused. I don’t feel it is all over. There are still things to do and see. Get the elbows out, we are individuals and part of our society. We are more than our grey hair and chronological age. A new jacket could be the start for the newish me.
Yes, we have a duty in my bool to educate about our truth. If we don’t want to take it up we lose the right to complain.
Hi,
Thank you for your posts which I always read with curiosity. I am not writing about the jacket since for me it’s just a man blazer on a woman (which is a déjà vue for my taste). My comment is about your anger and unhappiness over being aged discriminated. Although I sympathize (after all I am probably your age or around there), I also encourage you to go back to Fran Lebowitz and revisit your reaction with “irony, humor and optimism”.
I too, share your frustrations. I’m about to hit 60 and have begun to receive literature through the post, emails and online adverts that make me realise that I have hit the demographic for the elderly. Reward cards for sight and hearing tests, funeral plan arrangements, death insurance and mobility aids. I ranted about it in my own blog. I love your description of the fluidity of the age you feel and completely relate to that. As someone who has strived all her life to be different, individual and to never run with the crowd, I am totally resisting the seeming need for society to finally put me inside a category. Never. Just when you think you’ve got the measure of me, I will change.
Remain mercurial forever my fellow traveller.
First of all, I’m in love with your jacket! It’s gorgeous! What makes me crazy about age and clothing is how people, including my
Husband, have the notion that since I’m 58 I should wear brown turtleneck sweaters and skirts past my knees! The “you’re too old to wear that” statement is ridiculous! I hate getting lumped into a group! You’re 100% correct in ranting! I’m sick of the thinking, that anyone who wants to express themselves in a way that is perceived as different, must be crazy! I will continue to not follow the norm, dress as I feel appropriate for the situation, and feel proud when someone says, “ I love your outfit”. Makes it all worth it! ♥️
All I can say is what a beautiful and profound piece of writing this is. I always enjoy reading your blogs.
I too have splendid pieces of Paul Smith tailoring as well as knitwear scarves and silk dresses in my wardrobe.
All bought from his outlet boutiques at Bicester Village , Oxfordshire and his outlet in the York Designer Mall in Yorkshire I agree with you about the linings. One black flannel double breasted short coat has a purple and ochre Union Jack lining , a black wool trench coat has a floral lining in the body. A striped dress shirt has its cuffs lined with a different striped fabric etc. I love the quality of the fabrics their colourways. Last Saturday I wore a PS silk and wool printed men’s scarf. I have many preferring their scale and designs. I’d washed it by hand. It looked and felt as good as new. And tied my outfit of long high necked cinnamon coloured dress together.
Not so enthused about your so called rant. I’m a few years older than you but we are the same vintage at the same stage of life. You’ve had a tremendous run as a photogenic older stylish professional person. Widely known and photographed. This degree of attention including the advertising campaigns you featured in brought further acclaim. Where’s the gratitude in having had these extra strings to your bow ?!
Personally working alongside Alyson W I’m most grateful and appreciative as I move towards 70 to have any place in the outside world. And not to have disappeared into a total hole of invisibility.
That’s my opinion and take anyway for what it’s worth.
I guess I would be grateful if being widely known, photographed and featured in ads were the outcomes I desired or sought when I first began. These were not at all what I intended or wanted when I started my blog and instagram. They were, in fact, an unintended consequence that has been both positive and negative. My blog was always a structure for me to express myself more creatively than I could in academia, learn to tell visual stories and practice writing in short form. It was a way for me to express a creative impulse by using the new technology that was increasingly available and to research a field I was interested in: fashion. It was to try and understand the time we live in by looking at one part: the fashion system. In the first few years, I was viewed more as a creative. I worked more with independent magazines, very young designers, brands who had little or no money for PR, musicians, and students. Though my monetary success and visibility have allowed me to retire from academia and that made me happy social media has also started to make me feel uninspired and not creative which had given me the greatest amount of pleasure when I first began. This is the essence of the “what Nowness” question. I have been a social worker and a professor of social welfare for a very long time and this idea of “labeling” the other by society is not new to me. I have fought against this when it came to my clients who I always sought to convey as deeply complex individuals with a need to be understood. No matter how many brands I work with I will never stop seeing or talking about social injustice when it occurs, it’s just in my bones.
Great post! Age is a state of mind and shouldn’t restrict us in how we live our lives. Clothing is an artful expression that brings joy and interest to one’s life. It transcends generations. One of my greatest joys is sharing my knowledge of fabric, style, design and clothing construction. Life is a learning experience to be shared.
Looking very good in that Autumn outfit!
‘Feeling erased as an individual’ by social media…. I imagine every celebrity feels this to some extent. Highly irritating but not worth more than a few brief rants. ;+}
Uniqueness is scary to the masses these days and pigeon holing is a defensive reaction.
Hoping you keep your blog going because I relish your keen insights and fabulous styling eye.
I am not complaining about age really, it’s more about being misrepresented as an individual. To me it’s a matter of educating people and if we do not share out=r feelings about this as well as provide more realistic information about who we really are it is just accepting someone else’s definition. I confess I have never been good at that.
I too think clothing is ‘dressing’ for yourself – literally and metaphorically. At 73, there are many parts of me, each with its history. 2 aspects are contact: today is tomorrow’s yesterday and tomorrow never comes. If you so desire, please see http://www.gailsherman.com.
Yes, this is really the challenge for designers, I think it should be an exciting one and that is clothes that can express the complexity of human life.
Am I really the first person to comment on this post Lyn? I wonder whether others feel slightly intimidated about commenting, as I do? I agree with everything you say but I can’t say I am surprised by your experience in the fashion/ social media world. Having worked in fashion I was slightly worried for you when you became so caught up in the modelling / influencer sphere because I know how shallow and fickle it can be. You are a fantastically strong woman and I’m sure you don’t need my concern ( and I am not nearly as good as you at expressing myself in writing),so I hope you understand what I am trying to say. You have been SUCH an inspiration to me and I can’t wait to hear what you are going to do next.I LOVE clothes with a story and/ or secrets which is why I make my own . I would love to see what you would create—-
No, no there are a great many people who have commented. Not sure what the issue is,
I agree with your comments and I have had the same concern about shallowness which is why I have been going into a What Nowness phase. This rant is really not about age in a sense but rather feeling misunderstood. This is a universal feeling we all have regardless of demographic categories. I see the frustration in my grand when it happens to her. I am not a person who throws the baby out with the bathwater so to speak so I am trying to figure out how to keep analog values in a digital world.
I love your style. I don’t see your age, even though I probably am the same. You happen to be a role model.
Dear Lynn — Screw the demographics, you are a woman of style. Marketers need demographics, but we don’t have to agree to fit into those little boxes. When I was in my 50s, I realized “society” thinks women over a “certain age” invisible. I decided that I would never be invisible, and clothing helps make my point. As a young woman, my style was outrageous and fun, it came from thrift stores and was accompanied by an ever changing array of hairdos and hair colors. As I’ve gotten older, I have settled on one hair color — blonde because it suits me — but keep changing my hair and looks. I love men’s wear because it is practical and can be wonderfully edgy with bright red lips. Mostly I love wearing my extensive vintage jewelry collection and dress to highlight my bling. We must refuse to be defined by age and define ourselves as we wish to be seen. I love your posts and your ability to share what you are thinking.
I love it!!!!
Oh yes I know what you mean. Those little secrets that flash out. YOU know they’re there and they make you feel good!
I’m going to drop an honesty bomb…right here, right now! I’m not quite sure how it is that I started following you on Instagram. I don’t even know your actual name. Your bold style drew me in, but your intelligence, wit and wisdom have caused me to stay. In this day of full in-boxes, it is rare for me to actually take the time to really open and read much. However, you my lady, are speaking my thoughts on so many levels. I am 61 years old. I wrote a book called “Sexy Grandma” about 5 years ago because I want the world to know that we are alive and well….and so many other amazing things! Thank you for continuing to be a truthful voice for us “oldish” women with “youngish” hearts.
I agree completely. It’s honestly really lazy writing. I mean, it’s good that media is finally covering women over 30, but people are more than an age. Someone’s age is usually the most uninteresting person about them. I want – and expect – a little more than a list of women over 60 and their thoughts on age. Keep doing you and maybe media will catch up eventually 😉
xoKaelen | https://darlingmarcelle.com
Hi Lynn
Your posts always make me think deeply about what is below the surface. Such thought provoking images you write. The blazer is beautiful. It reminds me of a black Dana Buchman jacket I have with silky leopard lining. So smooth and unexpected! It looks so plain on the outside, but luscious on the inside. Kind of like me, now that I am 61 and retired. There are layers to me that may surprise others. i don’t feel old. I feel wiser. Thank you for the food for thought, the What Nowness.
Hi Lynn,
Thank you for taking this one on. I recently lost a job in the fashion industry and have been working with career counselors. At my age I must keep working but more importantly want to keep working.
The most disturbing part of the resume writing processes been being told I should leave dates off, or worse yet, valuable experience because it was over 10-15 years ago. WHAT! How is that possible. 10-15 years happens in the blink of the eye and there is so much valuable background, knowledge, experience, accomplishments and yes, failures too.
I am not 20, 30 or 40 something and I shouldn’t have to hide that fact.
Shame on society for making us feel that all of our selves and lives are not of precious value.
Best,
Paula
Being on the verge of eligibility for Social Security myself, I am now a first hand witness to what I’ve spent my professional life exploring – the aging experience. As a gerontologist I have spent 30 years working on social and public policy issues that directly affect people over age 50.
The truth is aging begins at birth: and you are a “senior” in professional sports by the time you are in your 30’s, and a “senior” in the workforce by age 45, but in most respects it’s pretty difficult to pigeon hole a cohort of 75M people in the U.S. who are over 65 because we represent every stratum of work experience, family, housing, lifestyle, and economic and social class ever devised. I’ve always found that gaining wisdom through practical life application (and isn’t this the true aging experience?) has reinforce that I am the decider of what looks good on me, of what I can say and do, of how I present myself, not the media, or men, or younger people. I made the decision to be happy with who I am and what I am by age 30 and refuse to spend one moment regretting or retaliation against what others think. Baby Boomers have redefined the possibilities for every age cohort from grade school, to the workforce, retirement, and beyond. I’m grateful to be part of this generation and look forward to all the new paths that we create. 99% of the time when I look at someone I have no idea how “old” they are and I’m grateful for that too!
I had noticed the “Stylish Grandmas of Instagram” trend a couple of years ago when blogger friends of mine like Melanie of Bag and a Beret started being included in several online publications along with 5 – 20 other grey-haired women (you were often included as well). It annoyed the hell out of me to see women whom I knew had no kids, much less grandchildren, lumped into a category just because they were in a particular age bracket. Part of me was happy to see these women get more visibility, but it should have been for who they are as individuals, not because they happen to have grey hair and be over 50. Anyway, I agree with your thoughts in this post.
So well put. This hits close to home. I am 60 now and for the last couple of years I notice people are starting to treat me differently and down right rudely at times, people younger than myself. Ageism is alive and well. Your efforts are combating that in powerful ways. Keep the faith baby!
I felt exactly like that when I had my daughter – I was just expected to go to mother and baby groups because it was what new mums did. I raged against it, and even though I did go a couple of times (persuaded by a neighbour) I had nothing in common with these women other than we had all had babies. They were nice enough, but I was bored to death and felt like my identity had been obliterated. It was what fired me up to run a marathon and start my blog. Society is obsessed with age and what people “should” be doing at various stages of life. I wish we could move on and not be pigeon holed by age. Btw, I love the Paul Smith blazer – a jacket with a beautiful lining is a joy to wear!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
I loved every post thus far, and am drawn to make a comment to the person who said she wishes she could erase s few years.
I am on the home stretch to the 80 ‘s and astonished that life has
Moved so darn FAST! Looking back occasionally, I cannot pick any years to erase. My life tapestry is wild and rich and fun and devastatingly sad at times; but, erase? Never. Those times are the
Fibers that hold the rest together, make me think the way I do, and give me the grace to love so many people who have shared the years with me! The jacket. The jacket is so cool! Rather plain and nicely put together, then POW! The spirit shines within! Love your Spirit. I love my white hair! It is so much better than the blonde I coveted during those red headed years!
Great post, Lyn.
I love Paul Smith’s “classics with a twist” sensibility and his beautiful tailoring that is always extraordinarily functional. Many of his shirts, for example, have a convertible French Cuff–sharply mitered cuffs and a button-cuff link thingy that lets you wear the cuffs two ways. Or even three: you could also roll up the cuffs to reveal their Laura Ashley-on-acid print lining.
The insides of his jackets have the groovy, colorful linings you mention and multiple quirky welted pockets to stash all your essentials and cavort hands-free.
I hope you’re enjoying the jacket.
Lyn, I totally understand your anger at fashion media’s positioning you as “Over 50” or with whatever other BS, ageist headline has been A/B tested and deemed click bait.
I’m amazed at the blatant discrimination. Rightfully, no editor would dare “other” a stylish person by calling out ethnicity, ability, body type, non-binary gender identification in a headline–but there’s no second thought about doing so with age.
This is an actual headline running on a popular fashion media site right now–with celebrity’s name edited: “7 Suzy Celebrity Outfits I Plan on Wearing When I’m 40.”
Wear it now, woman! If it’s a great look, what does it have to do with the movie star’s age—or yours??
It’s disappointing because I feel Millenials are absolutely the most inclusive and altruistic generation yet. I have to believe they aren’t woke to the fact that calling out age is another way of othering and discriminating against people.
But here’s something else that may be complicating your experience: the monetization and commoditization of fashion and influencer style which has accelerated in recent years .
Early on, say a decade ago, fashion bloggers were outliers, rebels who refused to let entrenched, traditional fashion print publications be the arbiters of style.
Then big brands saw they could capitalize on bloggers’ edge and influence. Brands were quick to swoop in and buy a piece of it.
The corporate-backed branding piece has gotten larger and larger. And it’s tough for the once-independent influencers to just say no to products and money and exposure and reach and likes and follows and comments.
I’ve been following you for years and frankly, I was fearful that you’d be swept up by the power and money that come with brand backing.
So glad you haven’t. Brava, Lyn.
P.S. Also want to encourage you to ignore the commenter who audaciously suggested you have no gratitude. As if each and every designer or brand you’ve partnered with hasn’t benefited from the association. THEY should be grateful. xo
To me you are modern and modern is ageless.
YES, YES, YES. ABSOLUTELY. I am noticed in social media for being over a certain age. With my grey hair, I fulfill the “older woman” criterion and I have benefited from it. But while my over-50 positioning may have won me a campaign, in real life, on set, the age distinction disappears and I feel respected and included. It’s a step.
You have an interesting position. You were noticed for you in a media scrum that launched you in a big and sudden way. It was after that that the numbers game kicked in; your age was an easy media handle to showcase you, for good or bad, but it got you out there more and helped a whole lot of people of all generations come to appreciate your/our value. Many thanks for that! But without a Big Event, as individuals we can easily be lost in a field with millions of young women with millions of followers. Using age as a defining factor, while it may be cringe-worthy on some levels, is also a way to establish a footing and community as a base for expansion.
Corporations are at least trying to be inclusive, and in the first steps they feel the need to be obvious about our age. During this evolution, I hope the categorizations taper off.
I often avoid hashtags with age in them now, but I still respect them as valuable tools.
I’ve thought long and hard about this. It’s still early days and I soooo get what you’re writing.
Love the jacket and your thoughts! But have to tell you that it was age that drew me to your blog…becoming a grandma last year and embracing my gray hairs had me wondering about my style. Your pics and words said “don’t worry, you got this!”.
THEY don’t define you by lumping you by age group. You are what you feel. We wear what makes us FEEL, whether it be pretty, comfortable, stylish, happy. WE define us. Keep being you.
Well, I see you.
In the supermarket checkout line, sometimes my lined eyes will meet another pair of lined eyes, and a look of recognition passes between us. We might smile at one another as we send our grocery items down the conveyor belt past the twenty something cashier, who does not yet know that life is a long game, does not notice two gray strangers smiling their Mona Lisa Kwan Yin smiles, although in time, she will.
YES YES YES, ME TOO!!!!!!!
“Press lumping” – I am glad others have noticed and commented. And it isn’t limited to older women although the typical media unrelenting pairing of “older and sicker” is not only annoying and irritating it is dangerous for those of us who are still mostly healthy but are visiting even occasionally with physicians who have partaken of that obnoxious kool-aid. No – it ranges from the negative proclamations by a bestselling canine cognition book author that we all treat our dogs very badly, to – worst of all – politicians who loudly trumpet that they know “what the American people want.” Sadly, reporters interviewing politicians claiming “what the American people want/feel/do” never seem to call politicians out on this disgraceful labeling and therefore are themselves participating wholeheartedly. In my opinion, the best way to counteract that is to call out, as you do, these activities and show them for what they actually are: laziness, deliberate ignorance, and an attempt to control an agenda that hurts those of us who don’t participate or agree. Thank you for continuing the efforts in your blog against lockstep thinking and jackboot expressions.
Your post is such an important challenge to the idea that anyone can be put in a box and labeled as one aspect of their identity.
Ciara’s statement—“the only form of bigotry and ism that enacts bigotry on their future selves ,” is truly a gem! Only, I am hopeful that since the baby boomer gen is so large and formidable, we will change the trajectory for generations to come.
I love that statement too, we can sit with it forever.
I am not a person who is crazy about or understands fashion, but I do love women with a certain style, and yours is awesome! I’m 63 years old and teaching in a high poverty bilingual school in Washington DC., surrounded by teachers who are my son’s age. So I totally get your take on age- I feel like I’ve drifted into a category where I am suddenly close to being labeled as older. My response is to get stronger physically and to try to be like my Mom was even into her 90’s, always open and interested in new ideas. I’m surrounded by kids living in poverty, and a world where it feels like less should be more, so I want fewer clothes, but I want them to be interesting work for me. Love this design, and thank you for your eloquent thoughts.
Jane Fonda was interviewed on a cable channel by an adoring host, who at one point asked her how old she felt. She looked him square in the eye and said « Eighty. » The host said, «Okay, you’re 80, but I wonder how old you actually feel. I mean, you look beautiful, you still work, you work out—« And she repeated, «Eighty! Every bit of it. » Her basic humility — as a star, a great beauty, a controversial activist — was so refreshing.
Yes I don’t think any of us are in denial about our chronological age, we just don’t have to accept the stereotypes others have about it.
Highly energetic article, I liked that bit. I loved you jacket most.
Right on! I don’t like the news stories about motor vehicle accidents and the reporter’s main goal is to find out if the accident was caused by an “older person.” And then I hear about another tragic accident in which the driver was “younger” and their is no mention of their age. Ticks me off. I think I’m an excellent driver and much more aware and intuitive than those over half my age.
And to boot, I have gray hair. When those big SUV’s with the younger ones past me and they are doing 95 in a 35 mile zone, they look at me like that old woman with the silver should be driving faster through this dark tunnel. But, when my hair is covered, same tunnel drive, same mileage, they don’t treat me different at all.
Must I wear a dark colored wig to get some respect???
And on the flip side, I get on rapid transit, about to fall over and the strong and apparently abled “younger one” is stretched out over two seats reading their cell and absolutely refuses to give up their chairs for anyone grey, disabled or 9 months pregnant carrying a bag of groceries.
Ahh, then they think I’m so strong and durable and they are so fragile they must sit and occupy all the seats, even in the area designated for the fragile.
What about respect in these situations?
Thank you for being a voice that needs to be heard! I appreciate you and now I’m going to look up Paul Smith fashion.
I’m in my late 40s and I already have the busy bodies saying….aren’t you too old to be dancing on camera??. Who made the rules? I’m breaking them?.
Wait until I shaved off all my hair. I can’t wait to hear what they say. You are too old to be shaving off your hair. Wtf. Excuse my Latin?.
I call it shoeboxing. I get what you mean about those different feelings depending on where you are or who/what you encounter.
Ageing seems to be a disease of some sort. I can do a lot of physical things many of these busy-body-xyz-years-old can’t do.
I wonder if it has anything to do with their own insecurities and inadequacies perpetuated onto anyone of a certain age – usually older than them?
Girls in our day were raised to be observed and admired. Maybe this is still true, but we who are over 60 ought to have outgrown that girlish need. Not the desire to dress well, to look good, to feel right in our skin and clothes, but the desperate desire to be “seen.” To complain of invisibility is to cry out for admiration. Yet a touch of humility in woman or man is so fetching.