I’m sitting at my desk for the first time in a week. No writing except for some posts on Instagram. There are no words that I could summon for the task. I don’t think they’re invented yet. Reaching deep, I can’t find them. The closest word I imagine is grief. A grief that is so huge I feel as though I’m drowning in it. I’m grieving for losing a particular person, George Floyd, in a particular time where losses of all kinds have and are accumulating at unprecedented rates. People. Jobs. Leadership. Losses that no one has publicly grieved.
The massive outpouring on social media in reaction to the events in my country is overwhelming and triggering. I see enormous pain from Black Americans. Much concern and outrage from others. I also see obsession and guilt. So many posts and words coming so fast, I fear I will be pulled into the undertow. I had a moment where I was. Fashion brands still not paying garment workers what they are owed, or hiring white diversity officers are posting frantically in black squares.
An authentic response comes from pausing, reflecting, and feeling your feelings. Guilt and anxiety are not the emotions that fuel and sustain the ongoing work of social change nor should they be the drivers of action. Love, hope, and optimism are some that can. These positive emotions come from empathy in the context of true, and not virtual relationships, with those who differ from ourselves. It comes from living with others over time in the real world, having painful conversations where you listen and hear things it is difficult to hear. It is learning to see the world through the other person’s eyes. As Dr. Sherry Turkle reminds us through her important research cellphones, and constant engagement with social media actually interfere in the development of empathy. Here is a link to her work on this, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in the Digital Age.
I’ve been shifting my attention to powerful photos with no words. Images that let me sit with them, expecting no response, making no demand, except to feel something for which I have no words. When I find them again I know I will mourn the loss of my classroom, space where these kinds of conversations could happen. Where they did happen. Where I could listen and learn.
Writing here, talking about our feelings and ideas is what has helped me manage and cope during the time of the coronavirus. This is my safest public space. Because you always take the time to thoughtfully and authentically respond and comment this has become a classroom of sorts. So amid the greatest time of uncertainty I’ve ever experienced during my lifetime and feeling raw and vulnerable, I remembered that.
In writing today to meet my weekly commitment to you (even though a few days late) I’ve been able to gather myself up and re-find my center. For that I thank you. Stay safe and be well.
Please take a moment to remember George Floyd, his family, and children today.
I find it difficult if not impossible to reconcile what’s happening with
any sense that there is such a thing as humanity! We are so screwed up!
Gandhi said, “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
Some abuse their power and it is up to us all to show them we are more powerful than they are, through education, tolerance and continued peaceful protest.
I absolutely love Gandhi’s quote! Thank you for that.
The infrastructure supporting the distraction & the dumbing & numbing down of the individual, working to isolate, separate & pit one against the other, is so sophisticated that it serves to make us believe that apart from ourselves, “everyone else” appears to be doing so much better, when in fact they clearly are not. Some can see the glaring inequality injustice & hypocrisy; others choose to find ways of avoiding the facts of their complicity in supporting & contributing to its prevalence, while still more ignore it ,& fiddle away while it burns away humane feeling & better values on ever level of our existence. So consumed is each person in the search for ways to rise above & feel or be better than the next
that it has become impossible to strengthen calls for universal change to combat social & economic inequalities, climate change, racism, much fairer distribution of resources & ways of uplifting ourselves & neighbouring countries instead of treating all as enemies intent on eradicating American values & culture – whatever those might, rather mystifyingly, be. Concerns with superficially positive, seasonal social & cultural events & infrastructure that the wealthy kid themselves are doing good works, keeping people in jobs, growing the economy, etc etc need to be re-examined for evidence of truth that these “noble” ideals are enough & actually being achieved in reality. Leadership is key & so what we want from our leaders & whether they really do exhibit the qualities that guarantee peace, harmony & ability to help us thrive, rather than merely survive, disconnected from our hearts & souls, needs to be overhauled. It’s no longer enough to guarantee a pay cheque for all.
Manifesto
I have no words to add to yours, which express my feelings exquisitely. You are NO ACCIDENT! Thank You!
Thank you for such a thoughtful post. I needed it right now.
I can feel your pain since I am feeling this collective pain myself. The yawning, screaming, yelling grief. This pain of mine seems so insignificant and difficult to even mention. Why did it take me so long to realize that I had white privilege and now that I know it’s mine, I’ve lost the right to use it even though everyone insists on continuing to do so, including me? Every single touchstone is gone–my infrastructure, my busyness, my assuredness. I stand here gawping at world events, avoiding looking at the President of the United States because it is too horrible to do so, having nowhere to look to, nowhere to turn for help.
The best teachers are always students. Thanks for that reminder.
Thank you for SEEING me
Thank a You for the expressions of how I feel. Accidental African American follower retired and loving it !
Thank you for so eloquently describing the grief I feel each day….
I am feeling the same today but couldn’t find the reason or the words to express how I am feeling. You appeared on my screen just at the relevant moment. Strange how these things happen Can’t seem to find the beauty in things at present. Gardening usually helps but I found myself getting frustrated at not being able to create beauty. Thank you, noce to know i’m not on my own with these feelings
Beautifully written I as a African American woman thank you.
Respectfully
Vella Sillah-Williams
I can so relate to the feeling. Thank you.
What a lovely piece. Hey, if you want to look at some AMAZING photos with no words check out Kirsty Mitchell, she’s a photographer friend of mine in England ans she does amazing work. She also worked in the fashion industry for years (kirstymitchellphotography.com
Thank you for your thoughts and well written words. They are always read, digested and appreciated. Stay well
Sometimes no words is enough, and to just be quiet. Nature can be a great comfort.
Thank you for this post today ~
Thank you for your your eloquent way of putting your sense, your feelings and your insights in “no-words” and allowing us to participate and reflect and find our way.
It opens new possibilities and shows a little light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Thank you!
Thank you for your understanding of trying to make sense of something that doesn’t. I was 15 in 1968, lifelong Chicagoan when MLK was murdered…the future appeared bleak…but we survived, this is very different, there’s plenty of good introspection going on and a lot of us will grow from this, sadly some are still wearing blinders.
Agree…& I’m wondering if “no words… ” is at best, an indication really, of how our culture is succeeding in “numbing down” our response to the suffering & injustice being meted out daily, to people & at worst, a sign that we just don’t know, anymore, how much worse things are to get, if repeated failure to care about how we treat others, does not bring meaningful, permanent & positive change.
We have been finding & using so many reasons & ways to exclude others from our lives & fields of endeavour, it’s actually sickening how deep fear & a sense of our own inadequacy has filtered into & been exploited by an equally impoverished & fault-ridden leadership. Current political, economic & social structures need to change if we could only overcome our fears of what those changes might mean for personal freedoms.
I love my readers so much.
It’s a beautiful text you write, full of deep emotion and compassion.
These are turbulent times and it is becoming difficult to understand everything!
What has happened to George Floyd cannot be described or felt, it is bad, outrageous and heartbreaking in my eyes!
I hope lessons are learned from this and people will finally open their eyes!!!!!
I wish you gonna have better peaceful times in the future and a lot of courage and joy!
Beautifully written; thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your calming nature in this time.
You are truly an inspiration to me, as well as many others I suspect.
You named what I have deeply wrestled with this very day and could not name–deep grief. I am beyond numb and yet hurt intensely. I feel woefully inadequate to address the hurts and wounds we are seeing blatantly splashed and busted out into our world. And it needs to be. All of it so that we can reclaim our humanity. I am seeking to sit and go deep within, to learn and to listen, and to find a voice that can truly empathize and walk with, support and love my neighbor as myself. It may be a long time in coming. I realize I’ve a lot of inner work to do…
Thank you Lyn. I have had a similar day this week. Author Glennon Doyle speaks about emotional sensitivity in her new book Untamed. I embody this characteristic of extreme sensitivity, to the point where I think I may be Empathic if there is such a thing. I have twins that are 8. I homeschool now, among all the other things I do in a day, work, exercise, laundry, cook (remember restaurants?!). I can’t fathom the idea that we likely will be wearing masks until a reliable Covid treatment and/or vaccine. I Long to hold my friends and family I haven’t seen since this started. I am frightened for my children. I don’t want to take them out of our house/yard! I do believe protest is the only vehicle sometimes, to affect change. I am white and have no real clue about what my dear friend is going through. She needs to explain to her eight year old son the dangers around him, that can be directed at him. He is the most sensitive, kind, innocent little boy I know, next to my son. I pray he can keep this tucked into his heart along side his courage. I don’t know how to make sense of any of this. To not feel seething anger at our ‘leaders’ for sending wrong messages, and continued apathy. Your feelings are so appreciated, your writing beautiful. I love reading your words. ❤️ Peace
Thanks for these beautiful word! Staying in prayer!
Thank you for your heartfelt words, and for being present with me in this world, even if we have never met. In what seems like the eve of destruction, I admit to feeling afraid, for the first time, for my personal safety as an American citizen. I’m caring for my mother and I’m afraid for her as well. We’ve been quarantined since early March. So even with all that, I can choose my actions, and I choose to act with love in all things. But I also choose to hold my representatives accountable for our systemic racism, for fighting this looming threat of autocracy/fascism, and for making sure our justice system works. In my own small way. For me, you are an example of authentic living, and for that, I thank you.
Once again, thank you for finding the words.
Thank you. You captured my thoughts and feelings.
I find these times spiritually trying. Trite? Maybe. I lost my center, my spiritual balance when this all began with the COVID19 lockdown. Months later, I am still searching for my center, my middle path. The loss of life and human rights, businesses, etc are truly appalling.
Then came the treatment by the officers of another human being: grotesque. That more than anything should be at the base of the demonstrations, not racial issues. George Floyd, another human being, though certainly not of stellar reputation and acts, and certainly not deserving of being someone upheld as a standard by which to live, did however deserve to be treated as a human being created from Source. His life and death a lesson he was meant to teach us. The actions causing his death and protests/rioting proceeding from his death, are also meant to teach.
This 3D world presents us always with equal and opposite actions and reactions, lessons presented for our individual consumption and growth. More 3D lessons, more growth to come before this is all over.
May we all find peace.
Keeping silent whilst attuned is the most humbling
In the absence of words,
Your soul’s reflection was quiet power.
Thank you-
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. I feel so connected to this piece. Thank you for that.
I really feel for your country at the moment… in saying that I’m mindful that the county I’m from.. Australia has a shocking record of human rights abuse including outrageous levels of black deaths in custody rarely mentioned in the media .. depending on what you listen to ????
It’s too bad George Floyd was killed in such a horrific manner, but he is not without fault, let’s not elevate him to being St. George.
I have not read one statement in the press, social media, or anywhere else that ever said George Floyd was a saint. There is no elevation here except to acknowledge that a human being was wrongfully and unjustly killed. George Floyd was a human being, a father, a son and a brother with all the good and not so good aspects of being a human we all embody on some level and perhaps to different degrees. Even when one commits a crime in this country they are innocent until proven guilty and in this case, there was no trial or fair hearing.
That was a very callous response. NONE of us are without fault and there is no reason to pair that observation with what happened. It cheapens his life. Was that what you were trying to do?
At last an authentic response to George Floyd’s murder. There are so many jumping on the bandwagon of Black Lives Matter, a bit like the MeToo campaign. Frankly it doesn’t seem genuine….Although a global response is important in the process of bringing about much needed change, it’s the speed with which the blacked out squares filled our screens and myriad of videos, vimeos, and ‘taking the knee’ photo shots that sort of reduce the whole thing to a publicity campaign rather than a collective endeavour to support a different way of being. Thank you for writing so sensitively and with a real ‘earth’ to the substance in your thinking.
You are amazing and thank you for showing up! On a personal note, I have been writing more than usual. The last few dates have been quite overwhelming.
There is such an overwhelming feeling of grief and hopelessness now. I remember the summer of 1968, and the rage and fear of that period. But this is a tsunami of tragedies, with no leadership anywhere on a national level to help guide us through. I fear the end of the American experiment, but struggle mightily to not give into despair and to find hope. We must, as a united country, dig deep to work together to rout racism, fight authoritarianism, rebuild the economy in a manner consistent with protection from the Corona Virus, and to learn to work again cooperatively.
Your post brought me to tears.
Thank you for your honesty. I have been very depressed also. Nice to know I am not alone
It is interesting you missing your classroom at this time. I am a retired Human Resources professional who actively worked against racism in my companies and boards for years and miss that interaction as well. So now I find myself culling the best information and slides and forwarding on to my ex colleagues still in the business. Admittedly not a lot, but it felt good doing something active.
Good Morning
This my first post to you.
I read your blog and have followed you for some time.
I love I’m Alberta Canada and find you words today have hit me with such meaningful thoughts.
We see our neighbours to the South in disparate times with disparate actions. Our thoughts and prayers are with your country and hope that your pain will be a lesson to everyone!
My Motto has always been You will never regret being kind!
What is the image at the top of this post?
I couldn’t have said it any better. Thank you for articulating what so many of us feel but are not always able to put into words so eloquently.
Thank you. I am writing from Western Canada – far from the actions on the news, but I also feel that grief for our neighbours. Of course, we are the North, but NOT the “Great White North” . ie: we have our own version of systematic dsicrimination.
I find your words very helpful. Your third paragraph is really helpful. I have been guilty of that snappy, quick response to someone’s post, that really is NOT a meaningful conversation, and does NOT fully reflect the nuances of my thoughts. I will resist those impulses, and try to find ways to have the live conversations.
My parents immigrated to the US when I was twelve, fleeing an oppressive regime with no regard for human rights. What is going on now has brought back fears I had buried deep down and has shaken me to the core. I am not afraid of COVID, what I am afraid of is losing our human rights. I cannot imagine what it’s like for so many people in this country, who are not white to feel this fear every time they go out.
Dear Lyn,
Yes, my heart goes out to George Floyd, his family and friends. I have read about him and am angry at the loss of another Black life. For several years, I’ve quieted my voice so that others had room to speak. I’ve listened to other people’s stories. Now, comments say, “Why the silence from white people ?” It’s hard to find the words. My throat closes up. I’m afraid of my limited ability to say the right thing.
Thank you and stay well!
Thank you for your thoughtful, thought-provoking posts, and eloquent expressions of human pain and loss most of us feel but cannot express. Your writing helps me process all that has gone on this year. It feels like a lifetime some days.
Thank u 4 your honesty, transparency, empathy, and Luv.
I Luv uour writings??
Rest in power George Floyd
Thank you for your words; they/you are part of my safe public space. Take Care – Stay Safe.
Thank you for those words. I am a 63 year old white woman struggling with how to move forward. Backward is complacency , fear of igniting controversy and shameful inertia.
Something has changed in our world. Certainly in mine. I struggle with what to do and what to say. And your suggestion to reflect, pause and examine my feelings certainly resonated. Thank you.
Remembering George Floyd and the others who lost their lives under racist law enforcement. My sincere hope is that this starts real dialogue and begins motions towards solutions that will end both racist and anti-Semitic behavior. ENOUGH is enough. Please keep your chin up.
This is beautifully written and so honest. To say I don’t know what to say, or how to still myself to listen resonates. Too many quotes retweeted and arguments. Perhaps silence is the most valuable start. Thank you
Thank you for saying his name ❤️
Loved reading this piece. Thank you!
Stay safe and well.
Sitting with you. ♥️
The world’s gone mad. Devise and fearful.
I find myself floating in time. Staying up all night. Creating art. I come back and reconnect with others. Rebalancing…
Thank you for your message. May you be well.
Hello! How do I read the comments?
Thanks
Thank you for this heartfelt commentary. We all must step up and do something to demand change and foster empathy, brotherhood and justice!
You’re such a beautiful human being!
Well said or not said!! Soon words will be able to fill in the large, gaping holes that consume our minds and hearts . But until then, perhaps a quiet conversation with ourselves and loved ones will enable us to start the dialogue.
Stay safe and well and thank you! Keep our minds open and our hearts will follow!
Sorry, ironically it’s much more complicated about George Floyd. It’s horrible how he died. He was murdered, no doubt about it. But what I don’t like how immediately he became a hero, a perfect guy, n ver done ant harm. The same was done with Michael Brown.
Floyd spend a lot of time n prison. But let’s forget his history ( not nice ). He had virus, but he was going around and don’t care very much about other people, you and me. So, why I need to grieve about him? His family looks like getting a lot of money, so at least his death I hope, will help to raise his child. I don’t think he saw his child often any way.
I am with people who lost their life defending their business. In our St Louis captain of police lost his life only because someone wants TV! And he was also black!
George Floyd as a person has not become a hero, his death became a symbol for the racism that has been part of our country for 400 years. It was the last straw. It was the cold-blooded killing of another human regardless of who they were that mobilized the nation. There are so many stereotypes and assumptions in your comments, I almost did not post them. I hope that as compassionate people we can feel sadness for the murder of Geroge Floyd at the same time we feel sadness and empathy for those small businesses that were already struggling because of COVID and are now devasted. I have compassion for anyone who has been injured by those taking advantage of the protests to loot and act violently. I have compassion for protestors and police who try to do their best under difficult conditions. You are correct this is a very complex issue but not in the ways you are suggesting.
He was a human being.Not perfect but loved by God,friends and family. He did not deserve to die like an animal. There are those who hunt and realized that hunters do the same to a deer. Knee on neck to keep it from struggling…He did not deserve this.
It’s 6.43am here in New Zealand. Your talk of feelings and the work it takes to feel them, well, I’ve started my safe day in tears. Why are we feeling it here? At the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? Thousands marched here yesterday. It’s because of those emotions that rise up when we see black Americans in so much pain. Yes it is grief, triggered by a single event but an event so repulsive and horrifying that human beings feel compelled to act. I hope you and your country feels better soon x
Dear friend, To Kill a Mockingbird and the Diary of Anne Frank are two movies that have helped me during this painful time. I didnt know the Frank family spent TWO years hidden in that attic!!!! Surely we can push on through without complaint!! Of course To Kill A Mockingbird is about protecting precious “innocence”. Personally I want us to find a way to protect our precious African American children. I didnt know their parents have to counsel them about taking care when going outside!!! This is outrageous! We have to change this NOW!!! The news film clip of that little girl bursting into tears of fear when her father talked with her shot an arrow in my heart!! Maya Angelou said “If you know better, do better!” Come on Americans we can and must do better! NOW
Thank you. You spoke my thoughts. Thank you
Yes, I share your sense of enduring this time of mourning. The blatant, broad daylight murder of George Clark with witnesses pleading for him has brought us a recognition of life in America we can’t excuse or ignore. I first saw police brutality against a Native American man when I was just 5 years old. He was the uncle of a girl I went to school with. There were no cameras, it was just me there, a bewildered little girl watching it happen. I’m glad there are cameras now. As hard as all this is, it shows the world the truth. We must take our empathy, join others and try to build a better world. I often have people tell me that my actions aren’t going to change the world, and I’m quick to tell them the important thing is to let the world know that it won’t change ME.
Thank you, Lyn, for sharing your observations with us. I’m proud to know you through the forum of electronic media. You have brought so much to my life and I’m glad you’re writing a book. It’s going to be a DOOZIE!
Thank you for your thoughtful words and sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings. This time is indeed heavy, sad, reflective but so unfortunately real. You are able to say what many of us feel in a considered and intelligent way which in its self helps me to process what is happening right now. Thank you for that too.
Even though our hearts are heavy at this time we are still human. This movement is at a time when we need to reflect during this pandemic. We witness an atrocity of a human being tortured for eight minutes. Why? Have human beings in authority totally disregard life? Life given to us from God. IDK what has become of mankind. IDK. It’s frightening. I can’t remember when I have felt so disappointed. However, I always say keep hope alive. I’m pausing for the eight minutes that George Floyd struggled to breathe. God Bless. Along time. What will we do with our time?..
“It is horrible to see everything that one has detested in the past coming back wearing the colours of the future.” ~Jean Rostand
Today I have been overcome by another grief, the sudden and unexpected death of my friend’s daughter who was eight months pregnant with their first grandchild. Only yesterday this young woman was excited about the pending birth and asked for prayers for a safe delivery. So today, I will bundle our nation’s grief along with personal grief and place them in my evening prayers.
Watching the killing of George Floyd was devastating. I grieve with you.
I was interested in your comment about the extensive use of cell phones and the loss of empathy. I feel I have lost my feelings of empathy perhaps because of my
SSRI Suppressants for depression treatment. A friend had gone off her Effexor thinking it was the cause. She is a nurse.
A contributing factor must also be the constant media focus on ” The Sky is Falling ” and headlines that create anxiety. Further to this might be competitiveness in every aspect of our lives: fashion, fitness, possessions, status and wealth etc.
I’m convinced we are overwhelmed by media promulgating perfection.
Type A personalities abound. Its almost a flag of success. Check the profiles of CEO’s.
Most have all the boxes checked.
Totally beyond most peoples’ expectations.
And I forgot to add ruthlessness.
I’m thinking about who are the people who in spite of the evidence (broad) remain Conservative (Republican). I know lots of them as acquaintances and friends.
I’m shocked to discover their political beliefs
because of our common roots and up ringing.
In Canada we have systemic racism applied to
our native indigenous. Nobody will admit to it.
18th & 19th Century political leaders believed some human beings were inferior because they didn’t have the tools of written language and the wheel. Appalling actions were taken.
Empathy is well developed in Indigenous cultures. And intuition. This seems to have been lacking in Colonial newcomers to other lands.
Again, organizers promised free use of the land. Finding people already there ( for 10,000 years) was an inconvenience to be moved aside.
This was nurture not nature.
We learn not to care about others.
It’s been a very long legacy
Thank you for your words and visual. It is difficult to articulate the grief many of us feel on many different levels. Peace
I too have felt overwhelmed with the grief of losing so many of our black friends, known publicly and not known. It took me several days to gather myself. I realized that I could move and I could speak; which I have donee and will continue to do with hope in my heart that those generations younger than myself will make the sacrifices necessary to create a safer world. I am truly grateful for all the black friends of my life. Every friendship has deepened my empathy and worked in me greater love for all mankind. We all came from the same place…..
Agreeing with you about the loss of a life George Floyd, was so vital …Lost to our Society and to his community …it’s a sad note for our country … For All Mankind and for the face of our society … thinking about the words that you said I agree that in this loss we have all lost stay safe and stay well
Beautifully written and spoken with heart. Thank you for gifting me your words and wisdom.
Everyone has a different reaction to George Floyd’s death while being arrested. What the situation did, combined with other events, was struck up the embers of the continued injustice practices still in existence. While protests may bring this to a more public forum, rioting and criminal activities do nothing to solve this injustice removal. We need to create positive change and not through violence, which serves no one. Open your eyes and see that criminal activity is being controlled by an agency that threatens normalcy to create chaos. Is that what you see as our future?
There is a very huge distinction to be made between rioting and peaceful protesting and the vast majority of the activity and the people involved in it were peaceful. There have been many attempts to protest peacefully, for example, Colin Kaepernick as an example who was not allowed to peacefully protest. The only criminal activity and agency that wants to threaten normalcy, create chaos is the person sitting in a big White House tweeting hate.
Thank you for posting this. I’m 65 years old and truly can not believe where we are as a country. As a grandmother now, I plan to spend the rest of my life more actively helping POC attain equality. I’ve been protesting & volunteering since Vietnam but we have so much work to do. I’d love to see a reboot of America starting from the bottom UP. Anyhoo, thank you for your post.
If you have no words, leave it at a picture or a photo – isn’t a picture worth a thousand words? ‘No words’ has become a ubiquitous phrase. Find a word or say you don’t know how to find words.
I think you’ve found some very exquisite, kind, gentle, loving words that resonated deeply with me. These are precisely the words I need to read today. And I thank you.
My heart goes out to the family of George “Perry” Floyd all the families that have lost a loved one to police brutality all over the world. I’m in such pain for the condition of my country. I am going to try and be hopeful that things will change. It’s going to take time, but I just hope there are no more incidents take lives of American citizens. Thank you for your words, I always find you to be such an inspiration.
Thank you for “No Words” and articulating so eloquently what so many of us feel but cannot express. I see you, hear you, reflect with you and think of you all and hope this is the beginning of change. x Love from Melbourne Australia.
It’s all exhausting….just too much……
Think of how exhausting it is for those experiencing it for 400 years.Yes it saps the strength but we need to take good care and be strong because this is a moment.
This is a touching and heartfelt reflection- – and image
Kia Kaha ( stay strong)
Thank you
Thank you for this! Black Lives Matter
I have heard of the videos, but not watched them, just the descriptions of them led me to tears. I did not want that in my head and then ultimately my heart. Last night I was sitting and sewing and our television was tuned into the televised memorial service ……. my heart bleeds. The memorial service brought it right into my front room. The pain, the anguish of the people, friends, family, community members. My prayers are with us all. May America heal.
Our elementary school faculty have gathered virtually this week just as a space to talk and share about recent events. The pain was palpable. Events described by African American colleagues were heart breaking. One teacher commented that she wishes she could just be a mom to her young son instead of a mom who worries about him every day, who has to warn him about how to survive. We will continue to have these times for sharing for a couple more weeks. We learned a little more about each other and just sat in silence sometimes, in silence together- just feeling the feelings.
The emotions are overwhelming. I, as most Americans with a conscience, was horrified at witnessing what was happing to George Floyd.
We had so much loss and change to grieve for. We are pray that our united grief would lead to a powerful change.
I now have to deal with even moore grief and stress from the destruction of many areas of our NYC.
Thank you for your very insightful words, your writing consistently challenges me to think about, and analyse, things at another level
At times like this I look to the wisdom of others…
What is grief but love unexpressed?
What is love but expression?
Giving, not in, not out, but forth,
giving over to you.
Penn Kemp
Canadian Poet
Thank you.
I share the grief.
There is no day in the last two months, at least, when I’ve not felt like crying, for no specific reason.
Beth Trepper is a photographer you may or may not know, but would want to.
We will be walking with the Peaceful marchers today in our little town of Phoenixville PA. Today our county moves into the yellow zone so I expect a good turnout. Still wearing our masks.
The murder of George Floyd brought up the grief of losing my sister three years ago to an autoimmune disease, Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension, and losing my ex husband and best friend a year later. Aunt, uncle, cousin, old friends too have left us.
It definitely makes me question why I am here. I told my sister a couple weeks before she died that I would have traded places with her if I could. She would be appalled at the current state of our country. At some level she is lucky never had to see it.
I posted these words on my Instagram feed -dianagabrielnyc: (Take a look at the post to see the photo.)
Friends who stand together for equality and justice for all. @thedjblackroy Just read some advice about “diversifying your feed”. I’m following that advice by reposting this photo. I grew up in Bedford Stuyvesant and have been dealing with race issues for a lifetime. Charges against all four officers involved in George Floyd’s killing is progress. May this progress continue without pause until we succeed in fulfilling our mission of justice for all.
As I review the past few months I sit in awe of the perfect storm of 2020: Covid-19, loss of jobs, and police brutality. The sad fact of life is that no matter what has happen there is an underlying theme: minority disparity. As a woman of mixed ethnicity (African American and Caucasian), I have lived in both worlds: sometimes not black enough for my black brothers and sisters, and “acceptable” to my white heritage. I know what it is like to have my “white” friends ask me how I can move through both worlds with ease and my “black” friends ask me why at times I act “so white”. I constantly ask myself the same question. When I give the “perception” of being professional, my whiteness shines through. When I give the “perception” of being “down with my people” so to speak, my blackness shines through. I grew up in “60s” when “We Shall Overcome” was our mantra. I excelled in my professional life (undergraduate degree in Biology and Chemistry and a MBA in Strategic Marketing) because I was black and a female, a double threat that propelled me into meeting rooms where my opinion counted. However, I realize now that I was only accepted because it was “perceived” that I would “fit”. Well, I’m tired of “fitting” into the perceived “perception” of acceptability. I am tired of having to “smile” at white people when they make “race” comments because they think I really agree with them, I don’t. And more importantly, I am really tired of white people telling me “Black Lives Matter” because there will come a time soon when white people will say “Haven’t we done enough for you?” The answer to that question is, until there is no longer racism in the entire world, no White America, you have not done enough for me, George Floyd, Ahmaud Aubrey, Breonna Taylor, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Kevin Hicks, etc. I hope this is a wake up call for the world. I pray that it is and I will continue to pray that one day we all will be free.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I do have a word. It is a word that has haunted me for the last several days. That word is mama. It was uttered by George Floyd moments before he died. It was a cry for help to the first and likely last person he trusted on this planet. That word brings tears to my eyes.
Listen! That is what I need to do. Listen and learn. I am white, 62, cannot honestly fathom what is is like to be a brown or black person in our country. I will listen. I will take helping action. If I can donate to organizations that can help this situation, I will do that. I am not protesting because of the covid19 virus and my age, but I would like to be. I will not be silent, though! White people must be the change in our country to effect fair and humane treatment of people of color. Voting is one way I can effect change. Writing and calling my representatives at all levels will effect change. I will not be silent! Silence to me means complicity. Thank God a 17 year old young woman was courageous enough to record George Floyd’s last minutes. Say his name. George Floyd. Otherwise, he would have been just another black man arrested and dying at the hands of police officers in our country. We need action and what I struggle with is how can I help effect change in our country. I am just one person. I can vote, vote, vote. I can write, write, write. I can call, call, call. Persist. I must persist. I can listen. Thank you, Lyn for such a thought-provoking post.
Your words reached me here across the world and touched a chord.
The news from America is awful; the reactions of those who claim to lead your great democracy are terrifying in their calculated and venal hypocrisy.
Here in Australia we too have a shameful history in the treatment of our indigenous people; and the Black Lives Matter movement resonates with us as we struggle to be better than we are.
I hope you continue to be the thoughtful philosopher and fashionista that you are! its a compelling combination.
Good morning;
I’m an international contributor to the weekly comments to your article that you write about each time.
As an international visual artist the landscape in your country has changed a lot in the last while.
I‘M wondering that if and I hope and pray each day that the people of your country have the intestinal fortitude and good sense to vote your current president (Unfortunately mentioning his name for me brings out language so vile I’m embarrassed to repeat) out of office and then perhaps your country under new leadership can return to some semblance of order.
Until then your country will remain under the current dictatorship.
Please be safe as safety seems to be on everyone’s mind.
Regards
John-David (JD)
We have to remember all those whose lives have been lost because of the color of their skin. This is a pivotal time in our society……we MUST move forward not go back to accepting the ways things are. VOTE in November….remove the people who pepetuate hate and division…….stand up for what is right……have courage!!
Yes yes yes!
It is always great to read your messages. Even looking to your photos elevates my soul vibration, never stop to write and share your thoughts and feelings! George Floyd’s tragedy will always be remembered, it impacted my life and my thoughts about how fragile life is and how evil human beings can be. Receive a big hug my precious friend!❤️
Watching the cruel and inhumane death of George Floyd felt absolutely soul crushing. This right on the heels of another video of a young black man in Georgia who was literally hunted down and shot to death while jogging in the street, in broad daylight no less, by three white men in pickup trucks. It sickens me that these are by no means isolated incidents.
As a young teenager of the sixties I’m no stranger to living in a time of social and political unrest, but this is the worst I have ever lived through. Back then it felt as though our protests had brought the issues to light and demanded attention which brought about real changes at that time.
I don’t know, maybe we just got too comfortable and complacent and the darkness quietly slipped back into being part of the norm. I can’t believe this is where we are in the twenty first century. It feels as though our consciousness has fallen backward.
I know that this is not a political forum, however politics are very much informing my emotions as of late.
I couldn’t remain unaffected as I watched in horror and disbelief as peaceful protesters in our nations capital were tear gassed and shoved and shot with rubber bullets for no other reason then to afford the president a photo op. Really? It’s hard for me to comprehend.
And yet as the days and weeks are going by I’m I find myself desperately latching on to a small bit of hope as thousands of people of all ages and ethnicities take to the streets in the wake of a global pandemic to make their voices heard about racial inequality and injustice that has been going on for far too long.
I’m heartened to see that some very respected people of character and integrity are finally, finally speaking out against a president that has been stoking the fires of division for years now. I can only hope that the momentum will continue to grow. Things simply can’t continue as they have been.
Be well all. Please lets be kind to one another.
Thank you for these thoughtful words, Dr. Slater. Sharing. Grief has been my overwhelming emotion, as well. Once I began to speak into threads, being a slightly different voice and sharing a slightly different perspective (mine), I began to feel better. Better still when I began to donate and sign petitions. On the one hand, it seems like so little, but as the saying goes, every bit helps. Appreciate you speaking into this.
I can’t control everything that happens in my life. What I can control is my response to what happens. I can do what is right. I can can contact my legislators to support laws that change our culture of racism in this country. I can speak out against hatred, bigotry, and racism. I can vote. If I am quiet, I am complicit. I am white. I am white privilege. I can donate to worthy causes. I can look for the helpers. I can remember all those who went before me and risked their lives for liberty, freedom, and equality. I can lift up those ideals in this democracy called the United States of America. I can support clothing manufacturers that pay a fair wage and treat their workers humanely. I can take action. I am but one person, but many people together create powerful change.
Yes and one can become many, a blueprint for action.
I can’t count the times I’ve listened to people my age rant about the youngs, gen y this, gen z that. But as profs, you and I know how smart and fierce and primed with energy and intention our students are. This moment has been simmering in them and now they are in the streets and leading, demanding what is theirs. They have my absolute faith and trust. Trump et. al. are making their last stand for old white man power, but the American population is now diverse and moving to center stage.
Culture changes far sooner than politics, but politics eventually catches up. When I was young, my gay friends could not marry, I got busted for pot, abortion was illegal, tattooing was illegal, everybody smoked, I could not get a full time teaching position, the idea of a black or a female president was out of the question. Today, my gay friends are old marrieds, I can buy pot down the street at the legal pot shop, abortion is legal, tattooing is an industry, smokers are socially ostracized, I’m a tenured prof, and President Obama, then Kamala, Val, Stacey. After two or three or election cycles, we will live in a very different country, and I hope I’m still be alive to see it.
hi mam,
I have a question related to fashion bloggers. so I’m gonna start my fashion blog. actually I’m beginner so I need your help. so please give me some valuable tips.
As an African American mother and grandmother of two sons and two grandsons, I am deeply affected by the injustices and dangers that our young men and women face daily. I challenge everyone to not view each other as a specific race, but to replace “race” with “human”. If we can see each other as humankind, hopefully we will be able to abandon the vestiges of a white privileged society. As Americans, we all suffer from the callousness, race baiting and hatred led by the President. As has been stated, “We’re better than this”. Continue showing love to all. Love Conquers Hate!
So many kind, sincere and heartfelt words, soulfully reflecting the ascended spirit of humanity. The animalism and depravity which some are derisively attempting to provoke the whole of our nation into – masters and slaves, haves-and-have-nots, rich and poor – will not stand as long as we can see the ‘hu’ (spirit) in each ‘man’ (life). When you offer your best and purest self, the blood of others is not required. With that, we can all live as brothers and sisters in one tribe called The Human Race!